knight in rusty amour

germanist with a focus on medieval studies . loner . fancier of unfunny puns . bavarian . lover of cats, squirrels, and bunnies . feminist . grey/asexual . archivist by trade . eater . parentheses and brackets enthusiast

[monelyslave-noscopekween600thou]

I’m at the doctor office and this baby keeps yelling “I want donow” (mcdonalds) and the big brother (I assume) said “all the mcdonalds burnt down, there’s no more mcdonalds”

[vedurnan-archive]

[all-mammal-creechur]

Proboscis Bat Rhynchonycteris naso

It is found from southern Mexico to Belize, Peru, Venezuela, Bolivia and Brazil, as well as in Trinidad. The bats are nocturnal, sleeping during the day in an unusual formation: most of them line up, one after another, on a branch or wooden beam, nose to tail, in a straight row.

In the photo, the two bats on the lower left are carrying young.

img source

[all-mammal-creechur]

I really love how dedicated these guys are to queuing.

[dogpuppy]

[squirrelly-13]

they got married btw

[visit-me-here-in-wonderland]

oh you’re not kidding

[softlyfiercely]

i love how weird kids are. they make up the most bizarre stuff when left to their own devices and it's never what an adult would naively predict a kid would do in their imaginative play

my friend's 5 year old recently got a toy veterinary medicine set - it's super cool, like one of those mini play kitchens a lot of kids have, but it's set up to pretend to be a vet (it's this thing) - it has stuffed animals and things to weigh them, give them medicine, take x-rays, write on their charts, etc.

so this kid, who is five and to my knowledge has no experience in the administrative bureaucracy of modern healthcare, puts a stuffed pig named Piggy on the exam table. she pretends to draw blood from Piggy using a fake syringe, and the blood goes into a toy test tube vial that she calls "the resulter"

i'm playing with her, right, so i'm like, awesome, what are the results of Piggy's blood test? and she says "we have to send it to the scientists." so we send the vial to the scientists (put it in her bedroom) and when we get back to the vet playset i'm like awesome what did the scientists say? and she says they have not gotten back to us yet

so she rolls her eyes, exasperated, and says we have to call the scientists. she pretends to call them. apparently, they tell her that Piggy's blood test is "at the bottom of the list" and "we have to WAIT." she frowns. we wait a bit longer and call them back. they tell us it will be a while! she says we should go ask the scientists in person so we go back to her bedroom and she inquires at this imaginary lab, at which point the scientists yell at her and tell her now they will make us wait even longer!

keep in mind she is 100% directing this play. she is making all this up. she is fully in control of this game, and she has decided that what we are going to pretend is that we are dealing with this exhausting nonsense, not actually treating Piggy.

finally the blood tests come back. they are inconclusive. the scientists do not know what is wrong with Piggy. the little girl walks back to the stuffed pig on the exam table, sighs deeply, and says in a very serious voice "we can never help you."

i'm obsessed with this kid. when given complete control over a make believe scenario, instead of becoming the heroic rescuer administering effective cures, she is instead a beleaguered vet making multiple calls to an overworked lab only to be left unable to help her patient.

10/10 no notes. kids are amazing

[pusong-mangga]

[animals-with-fan-art]

This counts as fan art

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[loki-zen]

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

[hereticpraetor]

i havent seen the strong as fuck ice mummy in a while. i hope shes doing ok

[sourcreammachine]

spring thaw. weak as fuck water mummy now

[fedoraspooky]

It's that time again

[amnesiaguy]

so ummm welcome to my jar:) lemme show you around! theres some holes poked in the top so i can breathe, theres some leaves to munch on, and ive even got a twig! #mytwig

[amnesiaguy]

happy one year of this post. and from the bottom of my heart. i did not know what i wrought

[cop-disliker69]

Is there a polite way to tell a student to take it easy on the thesaurus? 

[argumate]

alleviate your compulsion to lunge for the tome

[batri-jopa]

world_of_engineering_75 on Instagram

[airandangels]

You know it’s a great puppet when you don’t even notice the two entire people under and behind its body moving its limbs until it’s halfway across the stage.

[diamondintherug-blog]

All I can think of is what must be going on with the puppeteers. Look at their faces. All three of them are LOCKED on this new body they are all sharing.

[gardengnosticator]

my tumblr ads are alternating between reminding me i’m a dyke and telling me to fear the space scorpion

[everythingfoxes]

[foxpost-generator]

it fucken WIMDY

[foxpost-generator]

girk at my work discovered my terrible secret

[ms-demeanor]

How do you feel about driving?

I can drive, I am good at driving, I enjoy driving.

I can drive, I am good at driving, I do not enjoy driving.

I can drive, I am bad at driving, I enjoy driving.

I can drive, I am bad at driving, I do not enjoy driving.

I haven't learned to drive, I think I would enjoy driving.

I haven't learned to drive, I do not think I would enjoy driving.

I can't drive anymore, I was good at it, I enjoyed driving.

I can't drive anymore, I was good at it, I didn't enjoy it.

I can't drive anymore, I was bad at it, I enjoyed it.

I can't drive anymore, I was bad at it, I didn't enjoy it.

Voting ended onJun 4

[victusinveritas]

[homunculus-argument]

Oh, to be granted the power to speak to animals for just like 38 seconds, so that I could tell this pebble-brained feathery fuckass that nobody is impressed that he started singing earlier than anybody else. There's no bird pussy available at 2 am. The dames can sense your desperation. Stop screaming for at least three more hours.