LGBTQ+ Positivity

Positivity for all members of the LGBTQ+ community. If you need support or advice, asks are always open! [This blog is MOGAI positive] [This blog supports BLM]

[lgbtqplus-positivity]

Hi, I was the Anon who mentioned my 10-year-old little sister's story about the demiace mom. I just want to say, she came out to me as gay.

Aww, thank you for sharing!

[lgbtqplus-positivity]

are there gender neutral versions of sir/ ma'am

"Mx.," pronounced "mix," is a common gender-neutral honorific (like Mrs., it has no true long form). It works as a gender-neutral substitute for sir/ma'am or Mr/Ms/Mrs. As always, though, people will have different levels of comfort with it. Just like they/them, use Mx if you're not certain, but ask the person what they'd prefer if possible.

[lgbtqplus-positivity]

can a cis woman use he/him

Yes, if he wants to. It simply tends to be that if someone deconstructs their understanding of gender enough to recognize that pronouns are not necessarily gendered, they often end up realizing that their binary gender identity or expression isn't for them.

[lgbtqplus-positivity]

Hello! I just recently figured out that I’m bisexual (yay!!) and now I’m going through the gender crisis. I’m afab and have used she/her pronouns all my life, but someone recently referred to me as “sir” and it sent me through the roof with joy. I don’t think I’m trans ftm, but maybe I’m under the nonbinary umbrella? The thought has occurred to me in the past but I haven’t spent much time on it until now. Do you have any advice for how to figure this out?

Experiment! Whether it's in your imagination, online, with friends, or something else, the most helpful thing is to see if you might like different pronouns/gendered terms/etc. Try things out and see how you like them. And not to jump the gun a little, but speaking as a trans person with plenty of trans friends, recurring thoughts about being a different gender—even just little "what-if"s or "i wonder what it's like"s—can be one of the things we look back on post-coming-out and go "wow, it feels like it should have been obvious." Best of luck, and remember: it's what makes you happiest that matters the most.

[safenonbinary]

Your pronouns are always valid, even if they’re usually aligned with the binary, even if they’re uncommon pronouns, and even if people are trying to convince you that they’re not! You know what works best for you, and if you don’t, you will figure it out. Nobody can speak for you

[lgbtqplus-positivity]

I have a question about they/them pronouns. So when someone would say "who is she" or "who is he", would you say "who is they" or "who are they"? The one with 'are' sounds better, but 'are' is plural and 'is' is singular. In this situation, would I say 'is' or 'are'?

Are. They/them pronouns work the same grammatically whether they're being used as singular or plural.

[lgbtqplus-positivity]

I'm Bigender and I use Female and Male pronouns. I just want to know if its okay to use certain Titles for certain things. Like I want to be called an older brother but I also want to be called a female student at the same time. I feel invalid and I don't want to confuse my family and Friends when I ask to use certain titles for certain things.

A note, first: pronouns aren’t gender-restricted; she/her is no more “female pronouns” than sports is a “male activity.” Anyone can use any pronouns without identifying as the gender(s) that social conventions associate them with. That said, yes, it’s totally fine to use different titles that are "differently gendered” for different things. Just like pronouns, titles are only gendered because (mostly cis) people say they are; there’s no real reason it has to be that way. If you feel more comfortable with some “masculine” titles and some “feminine” titles, you have every right to use just the ones that you like. It might be hard to explain to other people sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you’re invalid, it just means they need to examine their own understanding of gender a little bit more.

[lgbtqplus-positivity]

Is it okay to identify as one label when I'm by myself, but tell people I'm a different label when they ask. I think of myself as aroace, but when I come out (which I have been starting to consider) I think I want to come out as queer instead. I'm just a bit uncomfortable with using that label with people other than myself. Is this okay? I don't want to offend any other people by doing this.

Yes, it’s absolutely fine to go by a different/broader label in public than in private. It’s not invalidating to you or others to not be comfortable revealing every aspect of your identity to everyone.

[as-water-fills-the-sea]

t*rfs also like to twist the fact that there’s little long-term medical research into transitioning (for both trans women and trans men) in order to abuse and frighten trans men into detransitioning (which, btw, often leads to the suicidal depression that dysphoria causes and transitioning alleviates!)

[as-water-fills-the-sea]

like that popular post about how binding even with a good binder will fuck you up for life and make it impossible to have top surgery later on? written by a crypto-t*rf who thinks trans men are lesbians

[as-water-fills-the-sea]

the number of replies/tags that say something like “i’ve been terrified to bind and/or thought i’d completely fucked up my chance of getting top surgery because of that post” is horrific tbh and if you cis people actually gave a single shit about trans people you’d stop circulating shit like that

[nymt97]

So wait. What’s the truth? Will binding fuck up your chances of getting top surgery?

[as-water-fills-the-sea]

no, it won’t. here’s an email from my GP, who’s been working in the Fenway Health system (which focuses on LGBT healthcare and research) for over a decade:

transcription:

Binders worn too tight or for too many hours in a day can certainly cause some chronic rib/chest pain; they may even cause some scarlike thickening of the tissue under the skin - usually at the margins where the breast folds down against the chest wall in general. This can be uncomfortable, too. But none of this translates into making top surgery a problem. Not at all.

None of the surgeons I’ve sent patients to have ever remarked about this and nothing in standard practice or the general literature suggests or supports that conclusion.

[lgbtqplus-positivity]

I wanted to share a story to hopefully brighten someone's day. My 10-year-old sister is writing a story with a single mother of 8, who identified as aroace, later finds out she is asexual demiromantic and she is in love with her best friend (who is a biromantic girl). Also, one of their daughters is a trans girl named Grace. This is what the future should look like. Anyways, have a great day/evening!

Aww, that's so sweet! Thank you for sharing, anon.

[neopronounhaven]

You’re allowed to try new pronouns and new names. You’re allowed to explore yourself and what you’re comfortable with. It’s okay to not be sure yet, to not have a consistent identity; it’s okay to not know for certain, to not decide yet. You have time, you do no harm by taking time.

[sourviolets]

it’s okay if you used to identify as bi and now identify as a lesbian. it’s okay if you used to id as a lesbian and now id as bi. you’re not wrong for it. self-discovery is a long and difficult process. it’s okay to change how you identify. don’t let anyone police you.

[seraphic-sapphic-safehaven]

PT 3: Since it’s officially Nonbinary Awareness Week, I decided to make some nice userboxes to celebrate some different nonbinary identities! And if you don’t see a userbox for your gender on any of my posts, please don’t hesitate to ask me to make a one for you! 😊

♡♡♡♡ Happy Nonbinary Awareness Week, everyone!!!! ♡♡♡♡

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 4 || Part 5

[mueritos]

hiya! I figured id make an informational post about the little things ive noticed about being on testosterone that I found weren’t talked about a lot when I was starting my transition and even before when I was doing my research. I think that trans sexual health is an extremely important part of trans peoples lives (and that doesnt necessarily mean sex) seeing as the physical changes that happen during transition are often foreign to us. Sexual health keeps us healthy and comfortable in our bodies, so do your best to stay attentive to your body’s changes! As always, consult your doctor if you feel the need to. These are only tips ive learned from transitioning myself and from my doctor when I asked about certain things.

PATREON

[frompawntoqueen]

Fucking tumblr our here really trying to teach the world things

[maggot-withanf]

Hey this isn’t necessarily something for HRT. But rather for top surgery for those considering it, most every surgeon and endocrinologist I’ve met (save for the ones I’m working with currently) doesn’t mention this and trans dudes who have gone through top surgery sometimes don’t even know about it, but your ti🅱️🅱️ies? They make hormones. Lots of them. When you get top surgery you’re removing a primary maker of hormones from your body and it’ll throw you through a loop, and for anywhere from a few days to a couple months after the surgery your hormones are gonna be WACK. This will usually cause a post-surgery depression that a lot of trans men sometimes confuse with regret for taking this step in their transition and it’ll throw them into an identity crisis, so for those planning on taking that step, just remember that weird ass sadness you’re gonna feel is just your hormones being like “hey wHAT the FUCK” and you made the right decision for you!!

[aevios]

Can confirm that bottom growth is a real and painful thing. If you’re the kind of person who wears skinny jeans regularly (looking at u fashionable goth/punk trans ppl), here’s a tip for your first few months of T: don’t.

Bottom growth will be overly sensitive and stick out of the hood more than usual, and anytime the inside of ur jeans rubs against it it will a) hurt and b) make u horny.

This can be a problem in general, but especially if u have bottom dysphoria and being reminded of ur junk can make u dysphoric, and/or if ur ace like me and being horny can be a very confusing and annoying experience (I know this is not every aces experience but I had never really had a sex drive or arousal before T and it was very distressing at first. Still ace tho)

Also re: top surgery, the first time I saw my chest post-op my brain flipped and I got so dizzy I nearly passed out. This is also relatively normal and okay. I think my brain just kind of freaked out seeing my body so different from what we were used to and also oh yeah with a big scar running across it. Its okay, that doesn’t mean you regret it either. I think sometimes ur brain just needs a minute to catch up and realize ‘oh wait this isn’t a traumatic injury this is what my chest is supposed to look like’. Once I had seen my chest a few times and let my brain get used to it I was absolutely thrilled and loved it (and still do). I also had a panic attack the night before my surgery because I was afraid of the anesthesia. Again, doesnt mean I made the wrong decision.

I think a lot of trans ppl don’t know that surgery can just be an emotionally intense experience, and yeah can also mess with ur hormones a bit (another consequence of both hormonal stuff and the stress of surgery is I got really bad acne for awhile after surgery) and so you might feel all kinds of weird or stressed directly before or after. It’s okay. Make sure u have supportive ppl around u to take care of u, and wait until ur body has had a bit of time to heal and renormalize before u start panicing over if u made the right choice or not. You’ll probably be sleeping for most of the first week anyway. Give ur body and ur nerves a break for a bit.

[fucktuplex-deactivated20200906]

@theuntemptedone @mimsidoodles @yoitsjaime @official-mossman @onlyoneformeisme

[babblebunny]

I don’t hold any obligation to anyone to find my “other half.”

[aroloverboy]

Let’s talk about the fabulous aromantics out there

[lgbtqplus-positivity]

My problem: I dont know if I should go by genderfae, genderfaer, or if I should keep looking! I never really feel masc, but I dont want to neglect a part of me that might actually be there but just hasn't shown itself yet... I feel comfortable with both labels, but I'm not sure which to go by. Is there a way I can differentiate between the two for myself? I need advice from anyone genderfae/genderfaer, anyone that have a shifting gender in any way, or knows their way around this...

People with the kind of experience anon is looking for, please feel free to comment on this post (or send an anon if you’d rather). In my opinion, your worry about “neglect[ing] a part of me that ... hasn't shown itself yet” doesn’t need to impact your decision at all: if your feelings about your gender change later on, so can your label(s)!