it was a dream?

hi, i'm h. and i have some cool dreams.

[lh-dreamlog]

08.29.XX

this dream... was the first that blended my reality and the dream world that i had become accustomed to. the detail of it was a lot more memorable than my previous dreams, hence the lengthy log entry.

also potential triggering events: if you are sensitive to strong violence or the topic of burglary, please read with caution. this was a warning.

the dream had started off in another strange way, but it was one that i had seen before. i was with my extended family when everything became eerily staged, almost as if they were producing a sitcom. i behaved normally, not following their forceful flow of events, though something told me that wasn't what was planned for me that night.

a daunting feeling overtook me as i almost gave into the dream's persistence for my cooperation. thankfully, a new presence brought everything to a halt.

"h! there you are! we need to get you out of here!"

it was my long time, closest friend, e, breathing heavy and grabbing my wrist. relief was evident, though it couldn't beat my curiosity. as she pulled me out of the crowded house, i stared at her, "e... what's happening? how are you here?"

her voice was trying its best to seem calm, though you could hear the fear rising quickly, "please, h, i can't answer anything yet. i have to get you out of here."

as we escaped, she brought me to a running car and hopped into the driver's seat after leading me to the back door, "get in, h. just... cover your ears and don't look outside until i say it's okay. got it?"

i nodded, though thinking this behavior didn't quite fit the e i knew in reality. i followed her instructions easily as i felt the car swerve and e swear quietly, "i'm sorry, h. we'll get there soon."

my eyes clenched shut until we finally came to a stop. i heard a car door open before mine and e's voice broke me out of whatever trance i was in, "come on, we have to go. they'll be here soon."

my eyebrows furrowed as i looked at her, "how do you..."

"we need to go! come on, get out of the car, h. i'll explain everything inside." i quickly followed her, my intuition telling me to follow the currently anxious blonde. we approached a beautiful house that was surround by ominous woods.

the interior was just as stunning, though it felt very empty (despite the beautiful furniture). i wasn't sure how much time passed, but i was sure that e was becoming more and more frantic. she watched the windows as she muttered about things not being how she remembered.

finally, i approached her and ask what i had been thinking from the start, "what. is. happening? how are you--?"

"i don't know either, but for some reason, i've been here before and you're in danger. so, please stay away from the left side of the house. that's where they'll attack from first."

it took a second to process what she had told me before i grabbed her wrist, "we need to hide then. tell me what we're up against."

as we went to hide, she began to explain how there were two men who had used my family to try and lure me into a trap. my eyebrows furrowed, unsure what i had done to warrant the hostile behavior, but accepting it rather quickly. i looked at her as i pointed to a closet, smiling, "don't hate me for this, but get in. if they're after me, then i'll just hold them off."

her eyes widened as she moved back seemingly against her will, "h, please, they have guns. let's hide together!"

i considered it, but ultimately shook my head, feeling a pang in my heart as tears gathered in her eyes, "don't worry, e. i'll distract them enough for us to both get out of here safely."

"they'll be here any minute. i swear to god if you get hurt, you better let me out of here, you stubborn ass."

i chuckled as i nodded and closed the door, successfully hiding my friend from any danger. however, that seemed to have triggered the next events as there was a knocking on the window.

just as e had described two men grinned sadistically at me as i put on a brave façade, "can i help you?"

"where is she? i know that brat is planning to get in our way again. there's no way she would make it this easy.." the taller male muttered, keeping his eye on me as he climbed into the room from the window.

my eyes followed the man wearily, noticing the weapon that had been secured in his hands. i kept eye contact with the man as he slowly approached me, "there's no way you aren't afraid. yet, you have the guts to look me in the eye like that?"

i glanced at the other male, who was clumsily making his way into the room. 'i need to be stronger, faster.'

smirking, i let the façade come to life, mocking the man, "it's not like there's much to be afraid of."

i could only hope he would take the bait, but he just scoffed, "looks like there's another brat. you must be stupid."

a scoff left me before i could stop myself, "says the person who is chasing after two young women for the hell of it."

his eyebrows furrowed, frustration clearly winning as he got within three feet of me, "the attitude on this bitch... my finger almost pulled the trigger."

"do it, then." i knew i was flirting with death, but i need the man to attack in some way to progress the plot. a sigh left me unexpectedly as i was met with a cool barrel to my forehead, wishing it hadn't had to come to such a cliché, "classic."

i grabbed the gun barrel with sudden speed i wasn't aware i possessed and quickly disarmed the man. the other looking at me in shock before groaning, "man, why did we get the hard job?"

with my new weapon equipped, i aimed at the armed man, quickly pulling the trigger on the farther man, not wanting him to become an inconvenience later on. the bullet hit his wrist, making him drop the gun as he fell to the floor and screamed in pain.

before i could bring the aim back to the more aggressive male, he smacked the gun out of my hand. my heart rate skyrocketed as he grabbed my face, but the adrenaline kept my mind moving as i squirmed under his hold. 'be stronger, they can't hurt e.'

tears formed in my eyes as his grip tightened, "you shut up? what? am i scaring you?"

i closed my eyes out of frustration, desperately attempting to kick him away from me, "h! help will be here any second now! just please, be careful!"

i heard e's voice as clear as day, but it seemed that the two men did as well, "find that bitch and i'll take care of this one."

"NO!" i screamed as i finally landed a blow on the man's torso, noticing the gun only a few feet away. the man only stumbled back slightly, yet somehow, that gave me more than enough time to grab the loaded weapon. quickly, i finished the injured male without a second thought, turning the gun to the surviving attacker.

somehow, he kept a grin on his face, despite his partner just being killed, "now, i get it. i see why they wanted you alive."

my eyebrows furrowed as i kept my sights on every move he made. as my finger danced over the trigger, i mumbled, "shut the fuck up. one more word and you're next."

his grin widened as he lunged at me, successfully surprising me. exhaustion was becoming obvious as a fight ensued, but i could only focus on my best friend's safety.

soon, a familiar voice could be heard, "H?! where are you?!?"

the gun flew out of my hand due to the man's forceful attacks. a yelp escaped me as i tried to fend off the angry man, "s! we're here! we're here! please help h!"

soon, my legs finally gave out, making me fall to my knees. however, the attacks stopped as a familiar boy came into my sights and tackled the attacker. there were another set of footsteps as a tall, panicked boy rushed into the room. a safe feeling flooded me as i saw him, "y... you're here too. please, go get e. she's in that closet."

the overwhelming exhaustion hit me as i laid on the floor, any pain suddenly taking its toll. i could see s fighting the man without any trouble, using some martial arts mixed with instinct to fight him.

my sight moved over to the closet where e and y where now embracing tightly. i could see tears falling from y's eyes, before their sights landed on me, "h!"

as soon as they called out to me, i heard s yell out in victory as he knocked the man unconscious. a sigh of relief escaped me as i saw everyone was unharmed. my eyes met s's frantic stare as he rushed towards me, panic clear on everyone's face.

i wanted to tell them that i was fine, that there were no life-threatening injuries. but i couldn't gather the energy too. smiling, i tried to soothe them, "i'm tired, guys."

s looked at me and quickly scooped me up in his arms, "yeah, you fought hard, h. let's go get some rest, okay?"

tears pooled in his eyes as he looked down at me. i gathered the last bit of energy i had before smiling, "until next time?"

the scene around me was already fading, signaling my waking up approaching. s's face was the last thing i focused into as his tears finally fell and a sigh escaping him, "until next time, h..."

[lh-dreamlog]

07.23.XX

s was busy, so he sent someone he trusted to stand in for him in the dream.

wearily, i opened my eyes, knowing i had successfully fallen asleep. my dreams had been a little scarce of notable activity for a few days now, especially after my meeting with s. i was curious as to what situation my mind had placed me in now, taking in my surroundings.

the apartment i found myself in was modern and small, something a couple would’ve owned. my gaze wandered, immediately thinking something along the lines of: ‘when’s he coming home?’

i blinked, unsure where this thought came from. however, before i could question it further, the front door opened, revealing a slightly winded boy. at this point, i wasn't surprised when his name spilled from my lips.

“w? what are you doing here?”

he nodded his head in my direction, his usual grin on his face, “s was afraid you’d be lonely, but had to do something, so he asked if i could accompany you instead for today’s adventure.”

i couldn’t help myself from smiling at s's request, definitely not surprised at the younger male’s cute thoughts. nodding, i walked over to the brunette, “so what’s planned for today?”

he responded with a shrug and a nod to the door, “i guess we should go find out. ready?”

“as ready as i’ll ever be”

…

the dream had progressed seamlessly afterwards. we had been on the hunt for someone that had been lost since the beginning of our journey. anytime it seemed bleak, w was quick to reassure.

along the way, a group of teenagers wearing masks approached me while w was busy speaking to a random stranger. my eyes were on his back as they tried to shove me backwards. insults were flown in me direction as i looked at the masked teens. the word might’ve not hurt, but their judging stares did.

“that’s why he left yo—.” the girl was cut off by a harsh push from w, who expression was beyond pissed. he kicked at them, while yelling in a foreign. my stare was blank, immediately reading into the young girl’s words.

w must've finished scaring off the kids, seeing him rush towards me and engulf me in a hug, “h, i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have left you.”

blinking, i smiled into the hug, feeling indescribable comfort, “w… it's not your fault.”

“don’t think about what they said, h. after all, s sent me here to make sure no one hurt you.”

i woke up shortly after, feeling ready to take on the day. despite my alarm interrupting the conclusion of the dream.

[lh-dreamlog]

07.17.XX

this is first time i met s in a dream, and it definitely wasn’t the last.

when i opened my eyes, the first thing i noticed was the snow falling out the window. my eyebrows were furrowed, mostly since i knew it was in the middle of july. my thoughts were groggy, but were instantly focused when a grip tightened around my waist.

the heartbeat was steady and comforting, something i had been missing for a while at that time. my gaze slowly raised to try and steal a glimpse at the person that i had been blissfully resting on.

his face was truly at peace, sleeping without a care. i softly grinned, once again seeming to know who it was. my voice was a whisper, still heavy with sleep, “s…”

one of his eyebrows twitched, his slumber seeming to come to an end. i watched, still in awe at his presence. his cheek fell softly, landing on my head as he muttered, “i’m not ready yet…”

i laughed quietly and whispered, “s… it’s snowing!”

a single eye had opened blearily as he tried to focus on the window. a small, sleepy smile blooming on his face, “do you like the snow?”

nodding, i attempted to sit up, much to his dismay. a whine left the poor boy’s body, making my heart melt as i laid back down.

“i’m not too sure what i’m doing here…”

my voice was quiet, sure that he had fell back asleep. i was quickly proven wrong when a small whisper replied, “i’m not too sure either, but it’d be a shame to let this moment pass.”

his statement made my eyes shoot open as i fully sat up, watching the slightly younger male in curiosity. the gaze that met mine was tired yet playful, “since we shouldn’t waste our time together, why don’t we get to know each other?”

the rest of the dream became a blur, fading into almost a montage of smiles and comforting touches. it had been a while since i had seen myself that happy.

“h, may i have this dance?”

a grin was wide on my face as i nodded, taking in the scenery as my head lead on his chest. the fireplace’s crackles and soothing lighting becoming the cabin’s ambience. soft sways matched the branches as we joked and giggled at each other mutely. i closed my eyes and sighed as i leaned on his chest.

“h…”

i opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling in my pitch black room, wondering where he had gone with tears in my eyes.

‘ah, it was just a dream…’

[lh-dreamlog]

06.25.XX

(to introduce a little bit of myself, i tend to help whoever i can. no matter the request, i will try my hardest to fulfill it. however, in this dream, it seemed to be catching up with me.)

i was breathless, breaking my limits to finish the task given to me by my new friends. i could tell by the way they had spoken to me that they weren’t the happiest about me being there, but maybe if i tried harder, that would change.

rushing into the quaint café, i was determined to get their order in time. when i saw a new, yet somehow familiar face. he had bleached hair that was dancing on his cheekbones. but those beautiful freckles and charming smile is what truly caught my eye. i somehow muttered his name with confusion, “f..? what are you doing here?”

“h, you’re here! come join us!” he had an australian accent that was thick and cheery as he gestured to a table nearby with some other nostalgic faces.

my eyebrows furrowed at the scene, deeply wishing i was able to join him, but knew i had already agreed to those troublesome errands. when i spoke, it was with a heavy tone, obviously disappointed, “i’m sorry, f… they’re expecting me back any minute. maybe some other time, yeah?”

i turned away, intending to go to the cashier and place my order, but a gentle grip on my wrist stopped me, “please don’t go back to them… they don’t treat you right and you know it.”

it took everything in me to believe his words; however, even then, it wasn’t enough. my sense of obligation overriding my own wishes. my voice was fragile as i muttered quietly, not trusting my own voice, “f… i-i can't…”

the next thing i knew, warmth flooded my body as he hugged me from behind, “h… please, i can’t stand to see them hurt you like this…”

tears threaten to spill as i muttered out, “okay, i’ll stay…”

…

at first, this dream felt as if it came out of nowhere, considering how (at the time) dreams were a rare occurrence for me. though, my eyes were soon opened when a long term romantic partner, i had once cherished was revealed to be toxic, and one of my closest friendships were proven to be nothing more than surface level.

[lh-dreamlog]

before i start.

a little back story,

i used to not remember my dreams. there was always lingering emotions, sure, but never anything that held any effect in my daily life. nothing like this.

recently, it seemed my subconscious felt like a change was in order. each dream became much more vivid than i've ever experienced (at least in recent memory). this new sensation had come at a fragile time in my life. a big change was happening.

it had given me a new hope, but also a lot of new questions. like who were these people that i had met? with their kind smiles and protective attitudes towards me.

and why do i hold them so dear?