Lia Blu

[myrrhemaid]

Someone asked my maths professor why numbers exist and she said “One day, for whatever reason, someone decided they wanted to count things and it’s been a major inconvenience for everybody ever since.”

[gh0stcity]

One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.

[gh0stcity]

For example, I’ve watched someone walk on to a plane with no passport. Just walked right on.

[jennitheodd]

Once walked out of a dude’s house with a pair of his pants slung over my shoulder. Did all the usual eye-contact, saying-goodbye movements and noises, just… while stealing his pants. He did not notice. 

[razorlightt-deactivated20161221]

I told my English teacher that she graded my final paper(I did not turn one in) and that she told me it was well written. She scrambled 3 days trying to find the nonexistent paper, then apologized to me for losing it and gave me a 96%. Confidence is key

[whiskey-and-a-wry-smile-blog]

my dad’s mate just walked out of a shop with a canoe and didn’t get questioned

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

Humans are like bees: if they sense you’re an intruder all hell will break loose, but if you get inside the hive they just assume you belong there. Be confident.

[minero-tan]

Bee confident

[88thparallel]

This is funny but also true, and a huge tip when traveling. Act like you belong, and you won’t be bothered like other tourists might. Especially on public transportation… do your research ahead of time and look like a disinterested commuter and you’ll blend right in.

[butterfly-bandaid]

Fun Fact about Bees: they use pheromones to communicate and the pheromone to signal ALARM is the same chemical that makes bananas smell like bananas so if you eat a banana and then breathe on a beehive you will regret it and this seemed relevant when i started writing it

[zolohehhe-deactivated20190116]

[tackled]

[patydin-deactivated20181026]

[disimba]

Deep.

[bongtokingprincess-deactivated2]

THISS LITERALLY JUST FUCKED ME UP

[walkingonsmoke]

Agreed ^^

[adrenaline]

by kayla savage

[toxic-jupiter]

[sprouseharts]

Madelaine Petsch for Prive Revaux.

[smoochmejuggie-deactivated20180]

She’s so gorgeous. 💜

[meg-elle]

[ashleymacleanblog]

“you can give somebody the world but sometimes it won’t be enough if they’re not happy with themselves having the world still wont be enough”

— i wish i knew this earlier - a.m

[as-pessoas-sempre-se-vao]

90210

[as-pessoas-sempre-se-vao]

Gossip Girl

[paradisefotografias]

[theriverdalereviewer]

toni breaking into the sisters of quiet mercy, screaming cheryl’s name through the halls, bursting into the room, and then kissing her? iconic, unforgettable, unbeatable, magical, mesmerizing, why I wake up in the mornings

[meljammin]

Ugh, Monday.

[draumboosky]

I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom

[draumboosky]

My dick has been on fire for over an hour

[draumboosky]

I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”

[draumboosky]

He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.

[draumboosky]

She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.

[draumboosky]

So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.

[draumboosky]

She fucking CUMS

[draumboosky]

And my chef tells me this stupid ass story and looks me in the eye and says to me

“Nothing says I love you like a gallon of heavy cream in her pussy”

And I think that’s the best sentence I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

[deicide4122]

Yes good story but WHY IS IT IN LIKE 8 DIFFERENT PARTS DO YOU KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPHS ARE.

ITS THIS. YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS.

[draumboosky]

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE AT WORK AND CANT POST EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME FUCK OFF

[afroclusterfunk]

its serialized. he’s a modern day dickens

[gamewithpelova]