life according to annie b.

just trying to figure it all out, one song & one adventure at a time. nashville, tn

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

thank you, charlie daniels.

Charlie Daniels passed away today at age 83. I was fortunate to have met him once, and I wanted to share my experience that shows what a kind, generous, humble man he was. 

A few years ago, I was playing with a band called Edsel West, opening for Charlie at the Country Music Hall of Fame one night. In my experience, the main act doesn’t usually listen to the opening band, and they also don’t usually even meet you. But that wasn’t the case with Charlie. After our set, we were backstage, and we all saw Charlie approach as he made his way to the stage. In Nashville, it’s kind of an unspoken rule that you don’t speak to a celebrity unless they speak to you first, so we were all just kind of sitting back quietly, hoping to meet him, but not expecting anything. He came up to us and shook each one of our hands, saying we did a great job and thanking us for being there. When he shook my hand, he leaned into my ear and said, “You’re way too pretty to be a fiddle player.” I had the biggest grin on my face, so excited that Charlie Daniels had noticed that I played! He and his band took the stage and played their set, and on his second-to-last song, his manager walked up to me backstage and said, “Charlie wants you to join him on stage for his last song.” I couldn’t believe it… me?! I thought, we’ve never rehearsed before! What song would it even be… oh, that’s right. Duh. It will be “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” of course. Only the hardest, fastest fiddle solo out there. I told his manager I would join him, and he asked my name. A few songs later, Charlie announced to the crowd that he would bring up the fiddle player from the opening band to play with him on his last song. I got on stage and found myself standing face-to-face with a legend. As the band started getting the groove going, Charlie looked me in the eyes and said, “Follow me.” 

I played the song as best I could, following his lead and taking turns on solos. I was absolutely terrified of not getting all the notes exactly perfect. But as I watched Charlie play, I realized something: he wasn’t getting all the notes exactly perfect! But he was selling it. He was the greatest showman I had ever seen. He sawed away on his fiddle with conviction, breaking bow hairs left and right with a cloud of white rosin dust flying up into the air around him. I followed suit, let loose, and started to just have fun, realizing how insane this moment was, to get to be playing “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” with Charlie Daniels on stage. 

That moment baptized me by fire as a musician. I learned that live music is so much more about the feeling and the showmanship than it is about getting every note perfectly accurate. It’s about being an entertainer, not a perfect player. When we finished the song, Charlie took my hand and kissed me on the cheek as we walked off stage. I don’t really remember what he said to me in that moment, but I will never ever forget the way he made me feel: empowered. In an industry where women are often overshadowed, Charlie Daniels chose to highlight a woman and put her on stage right next to him. He chose to give a young musician an opportunity to play with a legend. I will never forget Charlie Daniels or our impromptu performance together. Rest easy, Charlie. Thank you for making such a big impact in this musician’s journey.

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

life as an independent artist has sucked this month.

Normally I like to keep things positive on here. There’s so much negativity floating around on the Internet and in traditional media, so I like to always be a dissenting positive perspective, sharing thoughts and insights and news that’s, well, good. But I have to be honest about my life as an independent artist this past month: it has sucked. I’m releasing a new song as WILDWOOD on Friday called “Shattered” that I wrote and co-produced, and it’s hands-down the most interesting, inventive track I’ve ever created. Its blend of Americana roots and pop elements makes it genre-defying, and I’ve been so excited to share it with the world. (You can go ahead and pre-save it to your preferred music streaming service by clicking here if you’d like.) But preparing for release day has been frustrating and disheartening.

If you’re not aware, as an independent artist, you not only write the song, create an arrangement for the song, produce the song, and record the song, but then you are also the person creating the album artwork, coming up with a marketing and distribution strategy, and serving as your own publicist, reaching out to bloggers, online magazine contributors, playlist editors, and radio promoters in hopes of getting the song and its story shared. As an independent artist, you don’t have a team of people to do any of this hard work for you. It’s all on you.

That being said, at the end of September, I did all the things I was “supposed to do” as an independent artist with an upcoming release. I submitted my song through my distributor 5 weeks in advance of the release date; submitted it to Spotify playlist editors through the proper channels (plus sent a few personal emails to some of my contacts); reached out to 50+ bloggers and online magazine editors with personal emails and follow-ups for potential coverage; submitted my songs to SubmitHub, a site where you actually pay to guarantee bloggers will check out your music for consideration. And here I am now, a week before the song comes out, with nothing to show for my efforts. Every single blogger on SubmitHub declined the opportunity to share my song on their blog. And not one person I reached out to via email, Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook even wrote back to my messages. It’s been complete radio silence.

For a song you’ve poured your heart and soul into to be met with this sort of apathy is discouraging at best and downright depressing at worst. The logical side of my brain knows these people receive hundreds, if not thousands, of music submissions every day. I’m just a speck in an oversaturated market. But these are some of the same people who have supported my music in the past with raving reviews and enthusiastic encouragement, so the human side of me is saying, “What the heck?! Do you not see me? Am I invisible?” Not being responded to over and over and over again starts to make you feel a little less than human. Rejection is a part of this business, for sure. Not everyone is going to like me or my music. And that’s ok. But being rejected (especially on such a massive scale by people you thought were on your team) hurts. (Was I pre-destined for heartbreak with a song called “Shattered” about a heart that’s so broken it’s in a million pieces beyond repair? Maybe. Funny joke, universe.)

What I’ve taken away from this is a bit more positive. Today’s digital age makes it easy to ignore a message or an email - it just seems so harmless. That can’t be a real person with real feelings on the other end of that laptop, right? Wrong. Even more, my generation has started a new trend of not “showing up.” In a world where we are seemingly more connected than ever, we somehow don’t connect. We don’t write back. We don’t show up. Last week, my friends were shooting a music video and asked a bunch of friends to come be extras in a wedding scene. I told them I would go, so I drove 40 minutes outside of town, in traffic, to be there for them. I got there, and I was the only friend who showed up. The only other people who showed up were their bandmates, and the video crew had to jump in to make the scene work. Witnessing that reminded me that this whole not responding to people issue is way bigger than me not getting responses for my little song coming out next week. People today don’t value writing back or showing up. Why establish real human connections when we can scroll through social media feeds and like photos and comment?

My takeaway from all of this both as an artist and as a human is this: In a world where no one writes back, write back. In a world where no one shows up, show up.

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

on being “old”

Why do people get so down on growing older? Starting around age 22, I would hear my millennial peers say, “man, I’m old!” Sometimes I found myself saying it too, but I’ll admit, I always felt a little odd when that phrase slipped out. Because 22 is not old.

How have we created a culture in which humans a quarter way into their lives think that they are old? And even worse - that it’s a bad thing to no longer be a teenager? Why, in America, do we offer an example to younger generations that aging is undesirable? It’s going to happen to everyone, no matter what. Getting older isn’t a choice - it’s not something you can opt out of (though Real Housewives may try with Botox and plastic surgery). And it’s not just women - it’s men too. Just because you don’t have all that hair and testosterone you had as a 15 or 25 year-old doesn’t make you any less attractive. In fact, you’ve likely matured and grown in kindness and gentleness over the years, making you much more attractive.

I challenge the stigma around growing older and instead offer the perspective that years add experience, wisdom, lessons learned, compassion, empathy, love. The more experienced you are at life, the better you are at it.

So why not celebrate being an experienced human? Why not love and appreciate all your years? Stop age-shaming yourself, and be proud of the person you are and all the experiences that have made you uniquely you. And most of all, be grateful for the years you’ve been able to enjoy - not everyone makes it to the age you are today.

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

“why not?”

I don’t like to engage in political discussions on social media. In fact, I don’t believe I ever have. But when you have the opportunity to share the truth about someone you know who is running for office, it’s worth facing the trolls. This is my friend, mentor, and former boss, Randy Boyd. He’s running for governor of Tennessee, and I feel very strongly that I need to share some of my thoughts about him from my perspective working side-by-side with him for a year to create the Tennessee Promise program.

When I first met Randy in April 2013, I didn’t think he was a real human. This man has a goal of running a marathon on all 7 continents - including Antarctica. He runs a marathon or a half marathon every month. In fact, he had just run in the Boston Marathon the week we met, crossing the finish line just minutes before the bombs exploded on that horrific day. He wakes up at 4 AM every day to check emails and begins meetings with people before the sun rises. Randy was the first in his family to go to college, graduating from The University of Tennessee at age 19. He built a business from the ground up, often sleeping in his car and taking showers at gas station truck stops because he had no money. That business, Radio Systems Corporation, is now a multi-million dollar company that is known globally. He owns 2 minor league baseball teams in Tennessee, a dream he had as a child. (He also made those parks some of the pet friendliest stadiums in America. 🐶) Randy opened several restaurants in downtown Knoxville (including the musician-supporting Jig & Reel) to help restore the beautiful Old City and bring new life to his hometown. He has been involved with Boy Scouts of America for decades as a volunteer. He has donated more money to charitable organizations and good causes than I will probably ever make in my entire lifetime (I’m talking MILLIONS of personal dollars donated). He started a nonprofit called tnAchieves that was the inspiration for the Tennessee Promise program which made community and technical colleges free for all students in the state. Then he worked for a year (for free, not taking a single paycheck) for Governor Haslam to make that dream a reality in legislation. That’s when I got to work with Randy up close, as his sole staff person. So I got to know him very well, seeing him use logic and reason, compassion, and endless optimism to drive forward his vision and make it a reality.

Randy Boyd is the hardest working, most genuine, passionate, indefatigable person I have ever met. Politics and political parties aside, I know his #1 goal is to make Tennessee a great place to live and work for all people. He is a wonderful human who will always choose the right thing to do. He was a great - albeit hard to keep up with! - boss who inspired me to chase all my dreams, and even when I told him I was leaving my 9-to-5 job working in education policy to chase my own music dream, he wholeheartedly supported me in that venture and still does today.

Early voting in Tennessee for the primary election for governor begins this Friday, and I just wanted to toss out my personal endorsement for Randy. I’m a left-leaning moderate, but I 100% support Randy Boyd and hope that he will become our state’s next governor. If you haven’t taken time to research the candidates, I hope you will, and if you would like to know more about Randy Boyd, I would be delighted to share more of my personal experiences with you.

When I worked with Randy to create the Tennessee Promise program, a lot of people in government and the business and education communities pushed back, saying it would be impossible to make community and technical college free in Tennessee. We were met with a lot of resistance and nay-sayers. But Randy always responded to their doubts with, “Why not?” He challenged people to think beyond what is, and to imagine what could be.

To this day, whenever I think I can’t do something, I hear Randy asking, “Why not?” and encouraging me to go for the impossible.

Even if you don’t live in Tennessee or don’t plan to vote in the primary election, I hope Randy’s words and spirit will inspire you whenever you think you can’t do something that you dream of doing. Simply ask yourself, “Why not?” Because you might just end up becoming a successful businessperson, owning a baseball team or two, making your city a better place, running a marathon, helping thousands of students go to college for free, or becoming the next governor of Tennessee.

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

the great american eclipse of '17

The sun, partially covered by the moon around 1:15 PM central time, 13 minutes before the total solar eclipse. Notice the green reflections of the eclipse shape to the bottom left of the sun.

For months, my town of Nashville had been anticipating the total solar eclipse that took place on Aug. 21, 2017. As a nature-lover myself, I very much looked forward to seeing something extraordinary occur in the sky. What I didn’t expect was what happened - a personal humbling and a deepening of my understanding of the vast power of the sun.

A day leading up to the eclipse, I felt a lot of emotional anxiety and harbored many unsettling feelings. Several other people admitted to having similar emotions and said they felt kind of off: headaches, nausea, and just general nervousness. Not sure how related all those feelings were to the celestial event, but I’d say it seemed strangely coincidental.

Watching the moon start to cover the sun was captivating. First, It looked like a tiny speck of black on the side. Then, it looked like someone took a bite out of the sun. Next, the sun looked like Pac-Man. Eventually, the sun was reduced to a mere crescent sliver of gold. As the moon continued to cross over the sun, it’s as if the brightness of the earth was turned down. The temperature also cooled off drastically - that’s not something I had anticipated. 

Slowly, but consistently, the earth got darker and darker until right before the total eclipse, a 360° sunset fell upon the horizon. It looked like dusk, but it was 1:27 PM. To the north, the sky was purple and pink. To the southwest, it was pink and gold. All around it looked like a beautiful, other-worldly atmosphere. There was no sun on any horizon, just clouds painted evening colors in the middle of the day.

I was on the John Seigenthaler pedestrian bridge watching the event with a few hundred other people, and everyone gasped at the beauty of the panoramic sunset. I noticed all the construction workers on the tops of buildings stopped to take a break from their labor to observe the event, and it struck me - in that moment, it didn’t matter who you were. We were all equals. In fact, the construction workers had the best seats in the house, some hanging in a bucket from a tall crane high above the city.

Looking north about a minute before totality.

For those few moments, differences didn’t matter. We were all tiny creatures subject to this vast power greater than all of us. The whole world turned dark, not on our time but on the sun’s. Everyone had VIP access to this event by just being outside. It didn't matter if you were rich or poor, famous or unknown, one skin color or another, educated or not. We were all just humans experiencing this phenomenon that has been happening for millions of years. The sun and moon have done this dance long before we were here, and they will do it long after we are gone. They are the ones who have witnessed millions of other humans. We only get to witness their dance once, or maybe twice, in our lifetime.

Unfortunately for us on the Seigenthaler bridge that day, a giant rain cloud decided to cover the eclipse at the exact moment of totality, and it remained for the entire two minutes that the moon covered the sun. It made me laugh, realizing just how much more powerful nature is than any of us who think we’re so important. There we were to see this event, but the sky had other plans.

Thinking about how much the sun’s light changed over the course of an hour, how much the temperature dropped, and even how the clouds formed right as we were ready to see the event got me thinking about how essential the sun is for the earth and in our lives. Without its light every day, it would be dark. Cold. Bleak. It got really chilly in that hour as the world darkened - what started as a 90° summer day quickly felt like fall in an instant. I’m no scientist, but I would imagine that without the sun, there would not likely be life on this planet - at least not life as we know it. The sun is so vastly important in our daily lives, and I’ve never really been grateful for it until now. This event gave me a profound new respect for that massive star which fuels our planet. It also taught me its immense power because the rest of the day, I had a massive headache, and my eyes felt strained. Admittedly, my eyes are still hurting a day later, even though I viewed the event through special, NASA certified glasses. The sun is so very powerful, and it’s awe-inspiring that we are positioned so accurately that we aren’t too close to the sun’s light or heat. Because it can do some damage. (Here’s to hoping all our eyes are ok long-term, ha!)

Even though I didn’t get to witness the totality of the solar eclipse, it was incredible to get to experience the sun, moon, and earth in a new way. The Great American Eclipse was humbling and gave me a new appreciation for the sun’s light and warmth in our daily lives. So thank you, sun, for all you give to the living creatures of the earth without expecting anything from us in return.

And still, after all this time, The sun never says to the earth, "You owe Me."

Look what happens with A love like that, It lights the Whole Sky.

-Hafez

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

“better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.”  -confucius

I’ve been procrastinating on a lot of important things lately, and it’s led me to wonder why we as humans procrastinate. I was always a procrastinator on assignments in school, so it’s no surprise that I’m still this way. But I was never lazy, nor did I dread the work. On the contrary, I was always waiting for the perfect moment to do the work, when I felt my best, smartest, most energetic, and most creative. I wanted everything to be perfect - every time.

What I’m finally learning, however, is that there’s never going to be a perfect moment, and that waiting for one only holds us back.

A few years ago, I read this quote somewhere: “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of done.” This past weekend, my boyfriend reminded me of this, sharing how he struggles with this very same problem. We are both so afraid of not doing something perfectly that often, our dreams and visions and ideas never materialize into anything beyond thoughts in our heads. And that’s just sad. Even with this blog, I have procrastinated. I’ve had several ideas for posts over the past few months but have failed to write even one of them, telling myself I would do a better job “later” when I have more time, am more focused, feel more inspired, or using any number of other excuses to justify my waiting.

As creatives, we have so much we want to make and share with the world, so why are we holding ourselves back? Most of the time, our “average” work is probably pretty close to what our “perfect” would be anyway, so why wait?

Let’s not hold back any longer. Let’s jump in and create. Let’s be courageous enough to sport diamonds with flaws, instead of settling for perfect pebbles. Starting with this post, I’m going to. 💎

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

a christmas truce

Every night before I go to bed, I try to read something. It’s usually a mixture of non-fiction, classic literature, French children’s books, and/or spiritual books. Lately, I’ve been really into a women’s daily devotional, and one of the messages from this week hit home for me, so I’d like to share an excerpt on this Christmas Eve:

In the Christmas of 1914, German and British soldiers declared a Christmas truce and began a series of widespread ceasefires along the Western Front. In the week leading up to the holiday, soldiers crossed trenches and ventured into no man’s land to exchange seasonal greetings and food, play football, and take part in joint burial ceremonies and prisoner swaps. The Christmas truce is seen as a symbolic moment of peace and humanity amidst one of the most violent events of human history. It is encouraging to read of stories where goodwill seems to conquer in the midst of a stressful and often hurtful world. Is there a time and place this Christmas for you to offer a Christmas truce? Can you set aside family differences, long-standing arguments, or even regrets, in order to create harmony? Be intentional this year.

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” Colossians 3:15

As I reflected on this challenge, I realized that I needed to offer a Christmas truce to, well... myself. In full disclosure, I’ve struggled with a lot of anxiety and sadness this year. The weight of the world - or at least my own - has been heavy on my heart. My soul has been darkened by shadows that have crept in from being hurt by others, feeling like I’ve failed over and over again, and having self-doubt. So this Christmas, I’m offering myself a truce - to let it all go for one day (if not more!). I’m going to let the light shine through and illuminate the darkest corners of my soul. I’m going to give myself a break, just like the soldiers did in the First World War. As a result, I hope that light will make its way to the outside as well, transmitting rays of hope and peace to anyone I’m around this holiday season.

If you or those around you could benefit from a truce of some sort, I encourage you to go for it! After all, it’s almost Christmas, and miracles abound on Christmas.

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

“life ain’t gonna wait for some day”

Recently I sang vocals and played fiddle on a song my friend Jeremy Shields wrote called “Someday.” (In a shameless plug, he’s the husband of my incredibly talented photographer, Danielle Shields!) When I first heard the lyrics, they made me stop in my tracks. The song reminds us that we shouldn’t put off our dreams and desires for another day because “life ain’t gonna wait for some day.” It’s better to choose to do what we want now and stop procrastinating because some day, we’ll wake up and it’ll be too late.

“Life ain’t a dress rehearsal; you only get one shot up on that stage.”

I’m going to be starting a lot of new things in the near future, hoping to get rid of any “I’ll do it some day” thoughts I may have previously had. Tomorrow, I begin working with high school refugees, teaching them to write songs and play guitar in order to tell their stories. I’ve dreamed of starting a non-profit that uses music to have a positive social impact for years now, so here I go! Also, I’m releasing a new music project of my own this fall. No more putting off my dreams. No more waiting for some day to make things happen.

I loved the song so much that I wanted to share, so here it is if you’d like to give it a listen. Hope you enjoy, and hope it inspires you to act on your dreams now, not wait for some day. *Still reminding myself to do this every day…

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO “SOMEDAY”

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

love, not hate

I am living in fear right now. Today, there was another shooting at an elementary school in America. Two children and a teacher were shot - perhaps some of the most innocent and noble humans out there. What is happening to our country? I don’t know or care what color, gender, religion, or nationality any of the victims were. They were human beings, who were shot by another human being. That is reason enough to be furious.

Three days ago, I thought I lived in a safe neighborhood - because I do. But Sunday night, in one of the busiest, most touristy areas of downtown Nashville, a 30-year old French tourist from Los Angeles was shot and killed around 11:30 PM just a block from where I live. He was leaving downtown with a friend in front of the Country Music Hall of Fame on their way to get an Uber to their hotel. Three black men attempted to rob them and then murdered one of them. Over what? A credit card? A few dollars? An iPhone? Human life is worth so much more than all these things.

I was already on edge, thinking 11:30 PM isn’t that late in a city, especially near Broadway, a highly touristy area. But then, Monday night around 10 PM, another white man who was 28 was shot in the stomach in an attempted robbery by two other men - one white and one black - a few streets south of this initial incident. Before all this, over the weekend, there was another shooting at a club in north Nashville, a few miles from where I live, where two black men were shot by another black man, and one of the victims died. He was 21.

The three men involved in the murder a block from where I live are likely the same three who held one of my best friends (a white woman) at gunpoint in her apartment’s parking lot demanding her purse a year ago just a few blocks from where all this happened. Luckily she was unharmed physically. But what blows my mind is the fact other humans even think they have the right to threaten, or take, someone else’s life because they have a gun.

All the country is talking about right now is white police officers shooting and killing black men. And honestly, it has created a new wave of racism that I’ve never seen before, and it feels like we are going backwards. There has been so much hate in this country on the basis of skin color, sexual orientation, religion, country of origin, etc. But, everyone’s missing the point, and I am over the sensationalized media perpetuating this narrative. Gun violence does not discriminate on the basis of color, gender, gender identity, age, nationality, occupation, religion, etc. Guns kill human beings. Period.

Black lives matter. White lives matter. French lives matter. Children’s lives matter. Asian lives matter. Native American lives matter. Hispanic lives matter. Muslim lives matter. Christian lives matter. Jewish lives matter. Gay lives matter. Refugee lives matter. Etc. Even the men who’ve committed these awful crimes - their lives matter too, though I believe they should be punished for their crimes so that they never again have the desire, or opportunity, to harm or murder another innocent person. My point is, EVERYONE’S LIFE MATTERS. And guns are providing people with a quick and easy way to treat someone as if his/her life is insignificant. Guns are the problem, not racism, not any other -ism. Those things may very well still exist in this country and the world at large - no denying that. But the issue here, the reason we have a news story every single day about another shooting (a white man shooting and injuring nine people in Houston this week; a Turkish man shooting and killing five people at a mall in Washington state last week; etc.) is because of guns. If there were no guns, there would be no shootings. (That goes for police officers too - I don’t believe they should have the right to take a life using their own judgment. Debilitate someone using a taser for the safety of the public? Absolutely. But kill someone, no way.)

An FBI report just came out that said murders in the U.S. are up 11 percent in the past year. 11 percent? REALLY? Why is there so much hatred, so much violence, so much irreverence for human life in our country right now? We used to be a place where everyone in the world wanted to live because dreams could come true here. However, it feels like so many of us are living more of an American Nightmare than an American Dream these days.

When I think about all the horrible things that keep happening in our country, I feel both deeply saddened and afraid from all the gun violence that has devastatingly become a daily headline. I’ve been sick to my stomach all week, carrying around a heavy heart. Senseless acts of violence are out of control. I’m honestly scared. I’m scared to walk out of my building in fear of being robbed and shot. I’m scared to travel in fear of a terrorist attack at a popular tourist destination. I’m scared of guns. I’m scared of people who think they have the right to use a gun to kill another person for whatever reason. The more I think about it, the more emotionally debilitated I get.

So, what am I going to do about it? Live in fear and be sad all the time? No. That would be tragic. Instead, I’m deciding to disregard all bad thoughts of gun violence and terrorism and the murder that occurred less than 20 footsteps away from my front door. I’m going to try to not live in fear. I’m going to choose to not worry about being shot for going for a walk outside in a free, and what I have always assumed was safe, country.

Even more, I’m realizing the only way I can handle all the horrible things happening in the world right now is to pour into good things, flooding my small sphere of influence with goodness and love and light. As Martin Luther King, Jr. so famously said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

In Philippians 4:8, Paul wrote, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” So I’m choosing to think about the good, and not all the bad that’s out there. I’m boycotting the mainstream media that thrills itself on delivering bad news, sensationalizing stories to increase viewership. I refuse to fill my head and heart with stories and images of violence and hatred any more.

I’m going to pour myself into starting a non-profit I’ve been dreaming up for months aimed at helping high school aged refugees learn to play guitar and write songs to tell their stories. I’m going to help my aunt with a foundation she started years ago to support underprivileged children and advocate for their wellbeing. I’m going to love on my friends and family, and on random strangers. I’m going to write music. I’m going to still go on evening walks downtown. I’m not going to let these horrible things that are infiltrating our culture and our country and our hearts and minds be in my consciousness. No, I’m not going to live in fear or sadness. And if I get shot in some senseless act of violence because someone feels that my iPhone is more valuable than my life, then I guess it will just be my time to go. But I’m not going to abandon living life and doing things I love because I’m afraid.

If you too are bothered by all the negativity in this world, by all the violence and hatred, I invite you to pour yourself into things that are, as Paul described, true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. As Dr. King encouraged, drive out hate with love. Stop immersing yourself in stories of all the horrible. Stop perpetuating those stories. Let them go and do something good. Let’s get stories going about all the good that people are doing in the world. Maybe one flame will light another, and it will create a domino effect that lights up the whole world, pouring goodness and light into the darkest places.

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

no more boxes

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always tried to box myself into a single label that would define who I am. In elementary school, I was the violin player. In middle school, the cheerleader. In high school, the choir nerd. In college, the world traveling French-speaker. In grad school, the Harvard student. In Nashville, the singer-songwriter and fiddle player. But in each phase of life - and especially now - I've felt limited, restricted, and even bored trying to fit myself into one single label.

It turns out that I am, and have always been, more complex than just one label can define. I’m currently chasing a music dream with all my heart and soul, but at the same time, I’m still fiercely passionate about traveling and seeing the world. I also love thinking about and contributing to solving social justice issues, which is why I’m starting a non-profit this year called 3 Chords with the aim of helping high school refugees in Nashville tell their stories through music. I’m fascinated by different languages and never want to lose the French and Spanish I’ve worked so hard to learn from 8th grade on. I love crafting, especially making homemade cards. I even enjoy tap dancing and am currently taking classes at a dance studio in town. And of course, I’m into writing, both songs and prose.

Last weekend in Chicago, I got to speak French for the first time in a few years, and it reminded me that I’m in love with so much more than just music. I’m not just a singer-songwriter and fiddle player, a label that I’ve tried to box myself into since I’ve been in Nashville. I’m a multifaceted person with a lot of different interests and passions, curious about a lot of things. I can’t lie about it to myself or to the world any more, so going forward, I'm going to own all the different things that I am. It’d be simpler if I were just one thing - and there’s nothing wrong with being just one thing and being completely immersed in it! But I’m a lot of little things, and it’s time I embrace all that I am and want to be.

I recently got to hang out with a friend of mine, Sally Maple. This girl is the epitome of embracing multiple passions and interests. She’s currently a real estate agent, but she also played pro women’s football for a decade and won a gold medal in a world championship. She’s written several screenplays and aspires to be a comedy screenwriter. She also plays mandolin and writes folk music, but she used to play bass in a metal band. She embraces all the pieces of who she is, no matter how contrasting they seem, and her example is both inspiring and liberating.

So don’t be afraid to be all the different things that you are, even if the world doesn’t totally get it! Because we are bigger than the boxes we try to fit ourselves into.

Disclaimer: you may be hearing some songs in French in the future.

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

when dreams come true

It’s a crazy thing when some of your wildest dreams start to actually come true in real life. At first, you're kind of in denial, thinking it's not really going to happen. Then, when it does happen, it blows your mind. I remember feeling this way the summer before I started middle school; it just seemed way too cool to be real, that there was no way I was going to be a 6th grader with a locker! Getting to go to middle school was great, but tonight, I’m in a hotel room in San Diego, California on tour with Augustana and the Dixie Chicks. Being a fiddle player and singer on a big tour like this has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember, so it’s insane to think that I’m going to get to play with two of my all-time favorite bands in front of tens of thousands of people this week.

As I've spent the last couple of weeks learning songs and practicing - and let’s be real, finding the perfect stage outfits - I’ve been reflecting back to all the different people in my life who’ve helped me get where I am. Tonight in particular, I’m feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude for everyone who has helped shape me into the fiddle player, singer, songwriter, and person I’ve become: my family, friends, teachers, music teachers, mentors, fellow players and songwriters… and the list goes on. I’m so deeply thankful for every person who has poured into me, loved me, and encouraged me through good times and bad.

I’m especially grateful for my uncle Bugs, who is the reason I ever got into music in the first place. When my cousins and I were all little, he wanted to get each of us an instrument to learn to play. He asked what we wanted, and I said I wanted a harp. He sweetly rejected that idea, given a harp’s size and cost, and offered, “How about a fiddle instead?” At the time, I wasn’t too interested - I really wanted that harp! But soon enough, my mom and dad signed me up for violin lessons in Peachtree City, Georgia, and that’s when my love affair with music began. If it weren’t for my uncle Bugs, there’s no doubt in my mind that I would not be living and chasing my dreams today. In fact, I don’t know that these dreams would even exist without him. After all, it’s my uncle Bugs who first got me in a recording studio when I was 8 years old, singing Carter Family songs and other gospel hymns into an old ribbon microphone at Classic Recording Studio in Bristol, VA, a studio that he and my uncle Mike owned at the time. That experience was magical and still sticks with me as one of my most cherished and vivid memories. It’s also my uncle Bugs who taught me to play my first song on guitar, “Wildwood Flower,” followed by “Folsom Prison Blues,” two of our family favorites. And it’s my uncle Bugs who got me on stage time and time again as a kid playing with my cousins Dale Jett, Janette Carter, and even Johnny Cash at the Carter Family Fold. My uncle Bugs instilled in me a love of music that has consumed my soul.

It’s amazing to think of the influence one person can have on another. Bugs isn’t around any more to see what’s going on in my music career these days, but I certainly owe it all to him, and I know his spirit will be there with me on stage every night of this tour.

When your dreams start to come true, the feelings of excitement and elation are indescribable. But more than anything, I’ve realized that when your dreams come true, you see how much other people’s influences on you are the reason you are where you are. Mark Emkes, a mentor and friend of mine who is a retired CEO of a Fortune 500 company, often tells this story that sums it all up. He says, “If you see a turtle sitting on a fence post, how do you think it got there? Someone else put it there.” Tonight, I’m feeling like the turtle in that story, and I am overwhelmingly grateful for all the people who helped put me on this fence post where I am now, in a hotel room in San Diego, on the eve of my first show with Augustana and the Dixie Chicks. Sending all those people love and gratitude tonight, wherever you may be.

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

like lobsters

A lot of really great things have been happening to me lately. I got to play a new song live on a cable TV network here in Nashville. I’ve become a regular at the Bluebird Cafe, a venue that I only dreamed of playing three years ago. I got invited to play fiddle and sing on tour with Augustana, who’s opening for the Dixie Chicks this month. (Augustana had a big hit a few years ago called “Boston” about a girl leaving her town for a new life, and it was my anthem the summer before I moved to Boston! I had been going through a really rough time, and I was ready to start over in a new city. Who knew half a decade later I’d be playing arenas with the guy who wrote and recorded that amazing song that meant so much to me in that chapter of my life?!) On top of all that, I just started volunteering with an organization that helps resettle refugees here in the States, and I get to teach a songwriting class I created for them this summer, which will mark the beginning of an organization I’ve been dreaming of starting called 3 Chords + The Truth. Even more, I have a great family that is healthy and happy. I have amazing friends. I even have a boyfriend of 2 years. And he’s wonderful. Life is just good. BUT it hasn’t always been good.

In fact, life has been pretty hard over the past year. Not until recently have I been able to emerge from a darker period in my life - one marked by confusion and self-doubt. In the midst of those dark days, a singer-songwriter friend of mine, Jacob Westfall, shared an encouraging story with me. He said, “Did you know that once a lobster gets comfortable in its shell, it starts to grow, and soon, it outgrows its shell, sheds, and crawls under a rock for protection until another one grows back? Then once its shell grows back, it crawls out from under that rock with a bigger, better, shinier new shell! It goes about living with that awesome new shell until one day, yet again, it outgrows it, sheds it, and crawls under another rock. We are like lobsters sometimes: we have moments of glory when it’s all great, and then moments of struggle when we just need to crawl under a rock until we’re ready to come back out into the world.”

Like lobsters, I was under a rock for quite a long time over the past year, struggling to find self-confidence, purpose, and motivation. There were a lot of frustrating days and tearful nights. But slowly, I began to crawl out from under that rock and take on life’s adventures again. Now I’m finally out, and it feels great to be back in the world, bold and unafraid.

I guess the point of sharing all this is to let anyone out there who’s currently under a metaphorical rock know that it’s ok to be there. In fact, it’s normal to withdrawal sometimes, especially when things get hard or when we are afraid. But eventually, we come out. When we’re ready, we come out. I’m finally out from under my rock, and I want you to be encouraged knowing that you too will come out! So when you’re ready, come join the rest of us lobsters. We can’t wait to see your shiny new shell!

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

He fills up my gas tank for me. He keeps me stocked with an endless supply of Chick-fil-A gift cards. And he supports me chasing my dreams, even when he doesn't totally understand them. New blog post up about some of the things my dad taught me on annebuckle.tumblr.com in honor of #fathersday 💙 #happyfathersday #dads

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

five things i learned from my father

It’s Father’s Day, and I’m currently thousands of miles away from my dad, missing him and reflecting on how much he taught me and shaped me into the person I’ve become. Here are five things I’ve learned from him over the years that I thought I’d share on account of the occasion:

1. Family first.

When I was in the 8th grade, I got a concussion from a backflip-gone-wrong in cheerleading. At the time, my dad was on a business trip in Boston. When he heard I was in the hospital, he got on the next flight to Atlanta to come home and be with me. I’ll never forget how quickly he was on that flight, without a second thought about missing important meetings that week. For him, family comes first.

2. You’re only as good as your last race.

I had the unique experience of having my dad as my track and cross country coach in high school, and I’ll never forget something he used to tell us: “You’re only as good as your last race.” What he meant was, no matter what your record had been in the past, you were only as good as what you were able to do in the present. You have to prove yourself not by what you’ve done or by what you say you can do, but by what you can actually do when it counts. This mantra has stuck with me over the years, reminding me that every day, I have to give my best effort because nothing is guaranteed based on past performance or promises.

3. Take care of your people.

My dad was a Sergeant-Major in the Army Reserve for 35 years, and his number one leadership philosophy was to “take care of your people.” The first time I heard him say this phrase was when I was a teenager. It was near the holidays, and he had covered our kitchen table with dozens of candies, chocolates, and cards. I asked him what it was all for and he replied, "It's for my soldiers. You've got to take care of your people." Showing appreciation for people on your team means more than anything, and the smallest gestures are often the most meaningful. My Sergeant-Major dad showed me the value of making sure you serve the people you lead, not the other way around. Whenever I have an opportunity to lead a team, the phrase "take care of your people" surfaces in my mind, and I try to do exactly that.

4. Exercise. It’ll make you feel better.

My dad is a physically fit guy. Having been a track and cross country coach for three decades, he understands not only the health, but also mental and emotional, benefits of exercise. Whenever I get upset or fall into a slump, my dad reminds me to exercise. I never want to, but when I do, it makes me feel better every time! It’s hard to get motivated to be active, but I’m never disappointed when I do.

5. Be generous.

Not once in my life has my dad forgotten or neglected to send a birthday card, Christmas cheesecake, Valentine’s flowers, or other random holiday gift to me or my mom. Even more, he’s never forgotten a brother, sister, niece, nephew, or friend either! From cards and checks to actual gifts and phone calls, he goes out of his way to make sure his family and friends feel special on special days and holidays. His generosity is perhaps only surpassed by his thoughtfulness.

Dads are the best. I’m lucky to have such a great one. Happy Father’s Day!

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

New live acoustic video coming soon thanks to @jay_hawley and his mad video skills! I had a blast making this one with him tonight! #comingsoon #moonrise (at South x Sea)

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

making the world a better place, one thought at a time

Recently, I heard someone say something that honestly changed the way I interact with others: “never withhold a generous thought.” 

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a few weeks now and was reminded to do it after a random lady in Kroger went out of her way in the check-out line to tell me she liked my shoes. Her smile and genuine compliment lit up my heart and proved that these little moments of kindness are what make the world a better place. She made me happy, and consequently, I was all smiles when I got to the cashier, making him smile in return! It’s a giant ripple effect, and with every generous thought we share, we make the world a little brighter.

Since hearing this idea, any time a kind, loving, encouraging, or all-around good thought comes to my mind, I try to share it. Over the past month, my actions have grown bolder, texting friends notes of encouragement or admiration out of the blue; telling strangers I like their hair or their smile; writing emails to former teachers and mentors to tell them what an impact they had on my life; saying “I love you” and “thank you” to my parents a little more often; etc.

It sometimes takes courage to share our thoughts because we don’t always know how people are going to react to our words. But I can tell you, since starting to interact with others in this way, I have felt like a changed person, adding a little more positivity to the world each day.

So if you think of something lovely about someone or something, share it! Don’t withhold any more generous thoughts!

[lifeaccordingtoannieb]

if not now, when?

For a few years now, I’ve been thinking about starting a blog. I love writing and always have a lot of thoughts floating around in my head about life and the world around me, so I thought I might have something to share that other people might find interesting or meaningful. After all, my perspective is a bit unique: I’m a French-speaking Harvard graduate from Fayetteville, Georgia who has lived abroad twice and left a high-level 9-5 government job to chase a music dream. I’ve had professional opportunities offered to me over and over again, yet I’ve let myself be led by my heart rather than success. (And that passion is a true pain in the neck a lot of the time!) Life in the music industry is hard. I’m definitely a struggling songwriter and artist. Nonetheless, I believe I have a different perspective on life that’s worth sharing with the world. I write songs, nearly every day, and have crazy experiences like playing “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” with Charlie Daniels. I travel all the time, whether it’s going across the globe or just to the next town over, to discover new truths and insights. I love crafting and am always creating things and want to share techniques and craft ideas with others who share that love. But until now, I haven’t shared any of my thoughts or ideas with anyone. Instead, I’ve kept everything to myself, minus the occasional 10-word-or-less post on Instagram.

I’ve been so afraid of failing that I’ve failed to even try. How can you know if you are going to be bad at something unless you at least try it? You can’t. (It doesn’t take a Harvard degree to know that, but it’s certainly taken me a good while to come to this understanding.) Today, I reached a breaking point where I realized I am never going to know if I can contribute something good to the world through a blog unless I, well, create one and give it a shot.

So here’s post number one. It’s a challenge to you and me both to take action and start something, regardless of fear of failure. Despite how scary it may be. Even if it’s not well-received. Even if you get 100 dislikes and 50 negative comments. Because without starting, nothing will ever happen. Without trying, you’ll never know if you could have contributed something remarkable. I’ll be honest, I am absolutely terrified of not doing things perfectly. I’ve always been that way since I was a kid. But I’m limiting myself every time I don’t do something because I’m afraid it won’t be perfect. I’ve let perfect be the enemy of progress for far too long. I’m ending that destructive habit with this first blog post. So here’s to imperfection and to trying new things, especially if they are scary.

My mom and dad always used to say a phrase to me whenever I procrastinated on doing something: “If not now, when?” That phrase has been at the forefront of my mind over the past few months, so finally, on this Tuesday night in April, from my 633-square-foot apartment in Tennessee, I’m choosing now. I hope you’ll choose now too. Chase that dream you’ve always had. Start that project you’ve been putting off. Get on a diet and lose those extra 10 pounds you’ve held onto for too long. Start living the life you’ve imagined for yourself. Be who you want to be and do what you want to do now. Don’t wait any longer. Because if not now, when?