Yap Blog

My main blog is @stargazer56cipher

[ci-the-demiboy]

Hello! This is my side blog for yapping— and slightly less family friendly content— whoops

My main is @stargazer56cipher and if you like a happy little art place for more appropriate yaps that is 100% the place for you to be!

Let’s get this intro out of the way!

Pronouns: He/him/they/it/fea/feather/pup/bird/nip

Gender: Transmasc, Demiboy, Agender

Attractions: Demisexual, Grayromantic, and Biromantic and Gay

This blog might have a bit more swearing, sexual jokes/references, gore stuff, and talking about darker topics so that’s why it may not be family friendly, but I will officially say I am a Minor here, I just don’t say on my main because I like to keep creeps off of there.

If you want a better intro to my characters check out my main blog

[mackenziedaartist]

my mother has zero brain cells I swear 😭

sooo we got three betta fish, my mom decided to give the smallest one the biggest tank (which is supposed to fit at max three goldfish sized ones or a small school of tiny sized fish) just because she was the one who named it and she deemed him the prettiest.

then continued to get a tank with a divider for the other ones. Not nearly as big but yk it’s better than a cup. But the thing is these two are bigger than the smaller one so they should’ve had at least a little more room??

anyway she told me to deal with setting it up and all the water cuz i have had a betta and it lived the full four years despite moving states with us twice. We had to use the refrigerator water because she forgot to get water at the pet store. I was having the conversation with her and we BOTH knew we had to wait 24 hours to put them in, it was night time around here.

I wake up 13 hours later to them being inside the tank cuz my mom couldn’t wait that long.

THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THERE WHEN IT WAS NINE PM (or 21:00) THIS WAS REFRIGERATED WATER, which means it is COLD. Betta fish CANNOT live in cold or slightly warmer cold water!!! She was the one who told me 24 hours again before I put my brother to sleep so I didn’t forget it!!

they probably are fine? But this pissed me off a little. She acts like she knows everything about them and that she’s a animal whisperer when they are literal fish in a cup they think they’ll die in, of COURSE they’re going to go up to the first person they see! That’s what all the other fish across every species did in those tanks cuz they LIVE in abuse! And what do you think 24 hours looks like?? A night passing??? 😭

anyway I’ll prolly delete this later but I’m just so tired of seeing this behavior, she mistakes every single thing for someone doing something for her then saying she’s their favorite and they love her to death. this person can’t stand her as much as the next for (majority of the time) COMPLETELY valid reasons. This mischaracterization of living things just because you wanna feel good about yourself while you’re completely ignorant, do bad things to that person or something else related, then we can’t even talk to you about it? You can’t make mistakes because you know that animal or person inside and out and know damn well they don’t have a problem with it?? Pretty sure you just don’t care because, if the fish were to die, the only reason you liked them was because you got an ego boost out of them

[ci-the-demiboy]

As someone who loves fish this is actually insane behavior, how hard is it to wait for 24 hours, thats like bare minimum of a waiting time for anything serious ever.:/

And typically for a tank it’s one gallon per inch which really isn’t hard to follow

[ci-the-demiboy]

Sixteen weeks without Ai- like… five months??? That’s actually crazy I would’ve never guessed I could’ve made it this far, especially with all the shit I’ve gone to get here

[ci-the-demiboy]

This summer was supposed to be better than last summer.

Guess it won’t be.

[ajolteonnamedsparky]

Hello, my good sir! :3

You're good at art, so help me because I've been trying to draw and it looks really bad and I am SUFFERING

It's not a good quality image because I have no idea how to work this computer 0_0

The arms/legs look a lil short to me on the bottom dragon? Also their spine seems a lil too curve curve curve if that makes sense. But also I jus raw dog this shit and am not good at anatomy so I'm unsure... Idk X<

[ci-the-demiboy]

No that definitely helps a lot, thank you :3

[ci-the-demiboy]

Fucked up my back pretty bad from wearing a binder too long

I wanna cry

[ci-the-demiboy]

I love my mom because she’s really accepting, but she’s almost too accepting?

Like she is super prepared to go with anything I say I am, but honestly sometimes before I’m 100% sure or comfortable with that identity?

Or she watches videos of random people online and then thinks that my experience must be the exact same because that’s what this other person says. Like she’s so accepting but doesn’t realize that everyone’s experiences are a bit different. Since she never had to figure it out since she is cishet idk

[mackenziedaartist]

MY SCREENTIME DAILY AVERAGE IS OVER NINTEEN HOURS HELP FUCK—

[ci-the-demiboy]

Oh I definitely have to reblog with mine now, gimme a moment to check

[ci-the-demiboy]

Some how mine is only like 6 hours which is 100% a lie because I’ve stayed up so late recently this cannot be true

[mackenziedaartist]

I forgot to shut off my phone last night and I woke up to this from my mom:

Scariest shit ever

[ci-the-demiboy]

That’s actually terrifying omg

[mackenziedaartist]

MY SCREENTIME DAILY AVERAGE IS OVER NINTEEN HOURS HELP FUCK—

[ci-the-demiboy]

Oh I definitely have to reblog with mine now, gimme a moment to check

[ci-the-demiboy]

Some how mine is only like 6 hours which is 100% a lie because I’ve stayed up so late recently this cannot be true

[mackenziedaartist]

MY SCREENTIME DAILY AVERAGE IS OVER NINTEEN HOURS HELP FUCK—

[ci-the-demiboy]

Oh I definitely have to reblog with mine now, gimme a moment to check

[mackenziedaartist]

why is it that everything i do I find out later is “socially frowned upon” or some people REALLY don’t like it?

like okay so imagine we’re talking about our original worlds or some idea, I think of something I think MIGHT be cool in your world so I say “What if you had/did this-“ cuz like, what if you did think that was a cool idea? What if you build off of that or it got you inspired to make something else?

apparently people call that unsolicited advice, devsplaining, or world policing. as well as people saying “just let me cook!”

I’m not trying to come off as like I’m trying to build your world, just throwing ideas so maybe you’d get another idea, like brain storming. It’s also my way of saying “yeah I listened to all of that AND I’ve been thinking about it too! Cuz it’s cool!” Because I feel like just saying “omg that’s so cool!” Feels rude, or like I don’t care.

im not rlly mad about this, more towards myself as this is not the first time ive been told something ive been doing was something similar to this (me just thinking im helping or something only to find out im not only irritating them, but even people go online to complain about people who do those things)

This shit is so confusing, I might just barricade myself in my own home and just live there forever

[ci-the-demiboy]

That basically describes the entire autism experience for me T_T

[mackenziedaartist]

babes my sister makes fun of me because I walk around with Dino arms

my mom asked my why I do that and I told her I don’t like how gravity feels on my fingertips and it’s true it feels so gross 😭

[ci-the-demiboy]

Nooo I do Dino arms tooo my entire family makes fun of me for it (jokingly because they’re also autistic) and I don’t know why I do it— but where are my arms supposed to go if not be T-Rex?? Everything else feels wrong

[mackenziedaartist]

why is it that everything i do I find out later is “socially frowned upon” or some people REALLY don’t like it?

like okay so imagine we’re talking about our original worlds or some idea, I think of something I think MIGHT be cool in your world so I say “What if you had/did this-“ cuz like, what if you did think that was a cool idea? What if you build off of that or it got you inspired to make something else?

apparently people call that unsolicited advice, devsplaining, or world policing. as well as people saying “just let me cook!”

I’m not trying to come off as like I’m trying to build your world, just throwing ideas so maybe you’d get another idea, like brain storming. It’s also my way of saying “yeah I listened to all of that AND I’ve been thinking about it too! Cuz it’s cool!” Because I feel like just saying “omg that’s so cool!” Feels rude, or like I don’t care.

im not rlly mad about this, more towards myself as this is not the first time ive been told something ive been doing was something similar to this (me just thinking im helping or something only to find out im not only irritating them, but even people go online to complain about people who do those things)

This shit is so confusing, I might just barricade myself in my own home and just live there forever

[ci-the-demiboy]

That basically describes the entire autism experience for me T_T

[ci-the-demiboy]

You know that what you’re reading is good when the words ‘You Bisexual fucking men need to calm down.”

[ci-the-demiboy]

I fear the day my period arrives because I’m at my dad’s house rn.

Can I rip open my stomach and gut myself of my reproductive organs and anything that makes me feel this terrible 🥹

[ci-the-demiboy]

God, I’m so fucking worthless, aren’t I?

I mean, to me it’s just so FUNNY how I can show the lowest point of myself to people and no one cares?

My online presence is so HAPPY and I HATE IT.

I HATE MYSELF.

And I’m SICK of acting like it’s not DRAINING.

Like I expose the roughest parts of myself, like my Ai addiction, my depression, my lowkey suicidalness… heh… and I kinda want people to see so they know they can trust me almost?

I KNOW one of my friends has a secret account on tumblr and he refuses to let me see it and honestly it just makes me feel so bad.

Like he doesn’t trust me or I’m not worth being honest with or— shit.

And I know that’s probably not his goal at all, but it doesn’t feel good to know you’re not trusted, and maybe I want the same thing I try to be back from people.

Like dammit I try to be supportive online.

Dammit I’m kind online most of the time.

And GOD FUCKING DAMMIT ITS GOTTEN ME NO WHERE.

I LOVE MY MOOTS,

But I get SO JEALOUS.

FUCK.

People are happy without me, correction happier without me, and would they care if I disappeared?

Like just stopped posting or interacting or talking at all for a bit.

I think I’m tired.

Maybe I should take a break for a week and see how I feel.

I don’t know.

[ci-the-demiboy]

Ya’ll I keep on wearing my binder for what is known as far too long… (like several days and nights without taking it off at all) I think the last time I took it of was like three days ago, I’m taking it off for the night because the pain was getting to be too intense to sleep :/

[ci-the-demiboy]

Heh… never expected to end up so obsessed with a fandom and two/one character(s) that I’d draw this, but Ninjago did that and I love Lloyd and Enemy Lloyd a little bit too much… so Lloydcest… 0///0

CW:Spice

I could rant on this for so long….