dakota's dripping wet tumblr blog

why the fuck did i make this account | she/her

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

as an autistic kid I got criticized for not making eye contact. so as an adult I trained myself to make very consistent eye contact (easier said than done). this in turn has led to some people telling me it's "kinda weird" that I "stare so much." the moral of this story is there is actually no pleasing neurotypicals

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tags: fuck it I'm just gonna be weird then. I would rather live a comfortable life openly displaying harmless autistic traits than constantly work to suppress normal behaviors, just to avoid the casual judgement of strangers who don't appreciate me anyway. 

obviously this isn't an option for everyone all of the time, some schools, workplaces, etc will be more hostile than others. and of course everyone monitors their behavior different in private vs public. but my life has gotten much easier since i decided to stop caring about whether random people think there's something odd about me. I no longer care if the receptionist at the doctor's office thinks I talk funny. I don't care if people on the sidewalk think my hand gestures are weird. I don't care if the random dude I'm making small talk with thinks that my conversation style is strange. I'm not hurting anyone, and autistic people are allowed to be visibly autistic and still exist in public. 

this goes for all types of neurodiversity. when people label neurodiverse behaviors as 'weird' that is just plain ignorance. And I am tired of catering to ignorance

[lifeofkota]

Why must people force me to make eye contact

Like, aaaa it is so uncomfortable for me to make direct eye contact

:(

[lifeofkota]

Ayo fucken forgot I had a tumblr

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

maybe if we treated teenagers with more respect, they wouldn’t be in a rush to be seen as adults

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

@neurotypical-karen said: also a lot of the time we arent even chosing between being seen as a child vs adult, we’re choosing between not-a-person-yet and an adult

[sisterofiris]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[yay855]

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

[rox-and-prose]

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

[watermite]

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

[xakumi]

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

[themodernsouthernpolytheist]

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

[asortoflight]

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

[whisky-gerblin]

Reblogging for the last addition

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

give me a word and i’ll tell you not what it means but what it sounds like. example:

plethora. scientific word for a single sucker on a giant squid tentacle

[doctor--lobster]

“ergot”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ergot: legal jargon referring to inheritance held in trust  

[ninshuuka]

“egregiously”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

egregious: french specialty omelette made of crème fraîche & egg whites

[ghostii404]

“queue”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

queue: synonym of quiff, a modern pompadour hairstyle 

[eroticallyyeetingpasta]

“Troglodyte”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

troglodyte: a green semi-precious mineral commonly used as a birthstone

[lifeofkota]

"Platypus"

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ok but if letting your kid use a different name & different words & wear different clothing is scientifically likely to improve their health & happiness and lower their risk of suicide, whether or not they change their minds later….does it really matter whether you personally “get it”? does it even matter if you’re comfortable with it? 

if you’ve got all this science telling you that letting your kid do these things is going to make them happier & healthier than not letting them….then just tell them it’s ok. 

it’s not your kid’s job to be the child you wanted. it’s your job to make choices that allow them to be the happiest version of themselves. make sure your kid knows that you will love and support them no matter what gender they present as. make sure they know they don’t have to hide. 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and this is an important thing to tell your kids no matter how you think they identify. because

there is no way of knowing that your child isn’t trans, especially if you haven’t indicated that you would support them if they were. plenty of trans people don’t come out until middle-age or later. your child might hide it from you your entire life if you don’t give them a reason not to.

and even if your kids aren’t trans? it is still super shitty to grow up suspecting that your parent’s love is conditional. it is shitty and scary for everyone to grow up knowing that your parent might stop loving you if you presented in a different way, or fell in love with the wrong type of person, or in some way failed to be the person your parent wanted you to be. if your kid thinks “my parents wouldn’t love me as much if i was trans,” they’re also eventually going to start wondering “what other things would make my parents love me less?” And that is a terrifying thought to live with. 

let your kids know your love in unconditional. and then try really fucking hard to follow through on that. 

no matter how your kid identifies, making unsupportive comments about queer people sends the message “if you were like this, i would love you less.”

[lifeofkota]

Hey gaud, I know that as far as you are concerned I'm just some random on this site, but seeing this... wow. I really needed this. Thank you

[no-longer-pheonix-inside]

Reblog if you're queer, have ADHD, or hate the government.

Nobody needs to know which one.

[genderfluid-and-confuzled]

They don’t need to know but I gladly tell anyone who will listen, or even just has the pleasure of being in my vicinity, that I am all three.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

for everyone asking about my Very Sensible Name Choosing Algorithm™, aka how to save your child/yourself strife down the line, written in regards to White Baby Naming Culture:

one spelling. chose a name with one spelling. one possible spelling. saves so much trouble every time you make a doctor’s appt or order food. (or at the very least, pick the most common spelling.) otherwise you will be asked “how do you spell that?” approx 8800 times in their lifetime. save yourself the hassle.

one pronunciation, preferably intuitive. saves a lot of hassle if teachers/receptionists/etc can look at your name and be able to guess how to pronounce it. again, you will otherwise get asked “how do you pronounce that?” approx 8800 times in your lifetime. 

common enough that most people have heard it & know how to spell it (see Rules 1 & 2)

uncommon enough that you are likely to be the only person in your class/peer group with that name

UNISEX

i want to add that these don’t apply to cross-cultural names. i was 13 when i came up with this, so it comes very much from the perspective of a white child who hated their name for multiple reasons. 

Keep reading

[lifeofkota]

Yay my chosen name (Dakota) fits this nicely :3

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

excuse me wet things that are not supposed to be wet are 20X WORSE than dry things that shouldn’t be dry

[homohomohoe]

Are you seriously arguing about who’s blog is worse?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

YES

[bwillder]

Pukicho makes me feel mildly disappointed. You make me outright upset.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that means i’m winning the war for your soul

[ginger-ale-official]

New York version of the Bible where three wise guys bring baby Jesus their favorite kind of hot dog

[ginger-ale-official]

The inn is just an alley beneath a highway overpass

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

This is funny and I'm so glad tiktok exists, but I want to emphasize to everyone that, IN FACT, your 30s will be better than your 20s.

Your 30s will be better than your 20s.

ESPECIALLY for those of you who are queer, neurodivegent, mentally ill, or grew up in conservative areas/toxic households. And even if none of those apply to you, your 30s are still almost certainly gonna be better than your 30s. Bc the thing is, you are still hitting major developmental milestones in your 20s. Which means you spend your 20s doing a lot of unacknowledged mental, emotional, and social growth. And make no mistake--that is an INVESTMENT, an investment of time &, effort. And in a few years, once you get into your 30s, the returns on that investment are gonna start really shining through.

I know a lot of us are stressed bc of this idea we've inherited from baby boomers of what we're supposed to accomplish in our 20s. The thing is, that idea--a private home, a career, a life partner--is no longer realistic for most 20 somethings, if it ever was. For so many of us, our 20s are for recovery. Let me reiterate:

Your 20s are for growth and recovery

We are an exceptionally traumatized generation suffering the consequences of back-to-back-to-back economic crises. Throw your parents' expectations into trashcan. Throw the internalized pressure and self-criticism in there with it. You are doing enough. You are losing nothing by approaching your 30s (except hopefully some emotional baggage/old coping mechanisms you've replaced w/ healthier things).

Oh, and all the adults/media who implied your value was in being "young and lovely?" They just wanted to exploit your lack of experience. Throw that mindset in the trash & keep moving forward towards a life you will love & enjoy for DECADES 💕💕🔫

[oursaviorkellinquinn-deactivate]

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)

[lifeofkota]

Cursed rhythm thief

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

anyway here’s your reminder that finishing school & moving away from your parents will fucking transform your life. getting away from a toxic environment IMMEDIATELY improves your life in ways you can’t even imagine yet. so hold on until you get it, it’s so fucking worth it and so are you.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

recovery is a years long process that takes time and therapy, but getting out of a toxic environment

IMMEDIATELY kickstarts the healing process

protects you from further trauma

you will be AMAZED how your life changes once the trauma is no longer ongoing, and you are allowed to enter the first stage of recovery.

[popsunner]

So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.

[popsunner]

Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.

I thought that would be the end of it.

Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular. 

But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’

[popsunner]

So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-

My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”

And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack

[popsunner]

Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left

[popsunner]

Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”

And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah

[popsunner]

Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”

And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me

[annabanannabeth]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the teletubbies on tv are babies u can tell bc their tusks haven't grown in yet

[lifeofkota]

I'm scared

[roxylalonde]

[lifeofkota]

I'm burnt the hell out rn and I can't discern any meaning from this, so I'm just assuming you're saying dentists can't drive

[melvinandlugnut]

I lost one of the ear covers for my headphones so I came up with a ridiculous solution

[lifeofkota]

Holy God that image is so fucking cursed. What the fuck. The way he is facing away. The phone camera flash. The fade into dark. What the fuck have you done.