One of the most interesting perspectives I have read on the topic of, female sexual repression evolving into a spiritual/mental debilitation in the mind and body,Â
I recently posted a video endorsing a Moroccanoil hair product. As I have been informed, the main ingredient is basically silicon. (No fancy Moroccanoil) This ingredient can actually be found in many hair straightening products, such as Frizz Ease, by John Frieda, according to this article:
 <http://moroccanbeauty.blogspot.com/2011/01/shocking-truth-about-moroccan-oil.html>
I just wanted to post this so others aren't fooled by fancy marketing tactics. This all goes back to why it's important to educate yourself and figure out what ingredients are in your favorite hair products. Â I am only posting this, so that those of us on a budget, can spend less, on products that are better suited to our specific hair types.Â
I dedicate this video to all the, "natural hair," video tutorials I watched on Youtube, while living in the midwest. This is my first attempt at a natural ha...
Some people may think that I was crazy for moving from one of the best cities in the world, to a small town in the middle of nowhere. Why would anyone relocate to a a slower, more relaxed, or even boring town? Â Why leave NYC when it's possible to have the world at your fingertips and dive into success overnight by working hard, networking , and playing the role of the "responsible adult?"Â
Well for starters, I had saved enough money to avoid being a part of corporate America for a few years. I knew I wouldn't find my dream inside a cubicle, behind a desk, forgetting about my dreams, while building other people's. Â
However, more importantly, after working seven days a week, dealing with disgruntled clients, supervisors, and overall, dissatisfied human beings, I wanted to try living someplace new, Although I may admit, 90% of why I choose to live in Iowa was because of my boyfriend and the convenience of it all. (He had already found us a 2 story house, $635 a month not including utilities, and he had a job) The idea of living in a small artsy community where people are spiritually aware, shop at a farmers market with 75% all organic food, and practice mindfulness in their waking lives, was enough to convince me to pack up everything, and leave what I had known for years behind. Â
 What has brought my attention to this topic is observing  acquaintances post's on FB and Twitter, all mentioning their exhaustion and unhappiness they felt with their current position after being in the professional working world for a mere total of only 4 years.Â
In a way I always envied them. Their ability to stick it out and work that 9-5, hustle and make the most of the employment they were given. They were good at playing the role of an adult, and for some reason I just hadn't quite mastered it yet.
 But the statements I'd seen them make, describing how they really felt about the situation, brought me back to  remembering my bouts of depression and  insanity, my over worked  body and brain had endured for the past four years prior to and after graduating and quitting my job.
American society has schooled us into believing that we were born on this planet to work and build other people's dreams, while slowly withering away and not tending to our own personal needs. I am in no way saying that work is not a mandatory part of life, that we as human beings need to do, not only to sustain a living, but also to make some use out of why we were given this opportunity at life. I am merely, questioning the quality of work one is given. Should work outnumber our happiness? Is it so important to work hard that we make ourselves sick and dull down our creative minds until we have become drones? Â
 When I was 21 I felt like I had crossed the threshold into that rite of passage of adult hood. I could now finally step into any bar I wanted and order any drink without anyone stopping me. That is, after they stared at my ID for about five minutes to make sure I was the girl in the picture. (I’m tiny and look waaay too young for my age)
 At 22 I struggled to figure it what it meant to be in my early 20s.
 At 23 I felt like I had reached the epitome of a young adult. Being a college graduate and moving across the country to my new home in Iowa. (That’s a topic for a whole other entry)  The world was at my fingertips and I was in my prime to go and explore it.
 24 felt more like the world was testing me. I had been in my 20s for four years, was two years out of college, and trying to get established in the working world. Sure I’d had jobs before this, but not a serious full time job that would ultimately determine the direction of my career.
 At 25 I was scared shitless. Half way through my 20’s still trying to figure out what to do with my life. I had accomplished some goals, such as, coining myself as a social media strategist and actually having some experience under my belt to prove this, as well as, self- publishing my first YA novel, Runners.
 I felt like I was getting somewhere, experiencing a myriad of different careers, not by choice, but due to the shitty economy and lack of opportunities in my small town. However, for the first time, when I’d go on interviews I felt secure in my experiences. I had been in the working world now for a combined total of 5 years, not including jobs I’d held in high school, and some of these jobs were for high-end companies.
 Even self publishing my own book and being responsible for the financial records and marketing initiatives, I stood secure in my body, ready to take on whatever obstacles I encountered.
 Which brings me to my current age, 26. Although I’ve only been 26 for a mere total of, about 2 weeks, I notice something different in the way I take on the world. I used to be one of those people who apologized for everything. “Sorry I didn’t mean to print out the wrong paper.” “Sorry I didn’t mean to breathe in your space.”  “Sorry, Sorry, Sorry.” Â
It makes me feel upset at myself for having so little self worth, to allow people to make me apologize for my every move. I’ve been told, one should never apologize for their actions. Meaning, you should only apologize when it’s necessary, not for mundane inconsistences.
 Now when I meet with employers I don’t need to rehearse what it is I am going to say. I actually have something to say about my previous employments. I feel proud to tell employers I self published a book and even more proud that I have been able to support myself for months on end by doing freelance work and being my own boss. I feel a sense of responsibility I didn’t feel at the age of 22, when I interned at Universal Republic Records, and felt like I was close to tears every time my supervisor scolded me for my mistakes.
 It doesn’t hurt like a whip if I don’t get a job or hear that I am being let go, because unlike then, I know there is always a silver lining, usually with better pay. And most importantly, I don’t measure my value in my job or the paycheck I bring home. I measure my value in my ability to bounce back, look to the stars, and know that every individual has their own unique path.
 Jobs are a way for us to survive and pay rent. For those of us who are lucky enough, careers are a way for us to make use of our talents and work ethic. Whether that means coming up with a great marketing campaign that can help promote the latest dish soap, to raising money for a non profit that sends funds to the global relief effort.
 For me, my self worth comes from writing and doing what I enjoy. I no longer dread the interviews, the rejection, or someone telling me I am not the right fit for their company. Instead I take it all with a grain of salt and know it only means there is something better for me out there. You get to a point where you stop trying to please every person that comes your way. I feel I have reached this point. The only person I need to impress is myself.
I’m sure they’ll come a time when I miss the excitement of stepping into the unknown. Perhaps it will be when my life is so overwhelmed by a mundane repetitive schedule and little time to dream. Maybe I’ll stop and remember when I was young and get a kick out of my flightiness and spontaneity. Perhaps, I’ll even envy myself, along with my previous ability to make my life anything but ordinary.
 Ordinary isn’t leaving NYC and moving to the middle of nowhere, simply because you want a change of pace. Ordinary isn’t, five different jobs months on end to match the random selection of friends you had at the time each event took place. It’s a muffled group of memories that’ll probably make you laugh in retrospect. Or for a lack of better words go, WTF, when you think about the two years you spent living with your boyfriend in Iowa. Both the nouns, boyfriend and Iowa, appearing in the same sentence, is enough to make you realize you’ve gone from an ocean to a dessert in the blink of an eye.
 Oh how time flies when you’re wasting time, just living. You’re discovering who you are and what you’re capable of. You’re getting rejected over and over again, so one day you can finally get to a place where you’re past the point of being rejected for your lack of experience, but are now just overqualified.
 You hope to get to a place where you realize, no one really knows what the hell is going on and, to stop taking life so seriously. Or on the flip side, start taking life seriously. You now understand what people mean when they say that you can create your own future and are living proof that this is exactly what you are doing.Â
I do not endorse the consumption of alcohol to minors under the legal age of drinking.
About the Author: Michele Lauren is a 25 year old failure, who spends way too much time coming up with stupid ideas, such as, 80’s Television drinking games, and story concepts for her up and coming novel. Check out, “Runners,” the first book in a series of science fiction novels.
 Get your copy of, “Runners” here on Amazon: http://amzn.to/1agjK5c
Follow Runners on Tumblr @Â http://www.belowskylevel.tumblr.com/
You know that thing we all do? That strategy we use to avoid sitting in a room with a bunch of people you don't really know, without seeming like you're that weirdo in the corner. You pull out the smart phone. Since the inception of smart phones, we are all able to appear as if we have social lives and situations outside of our current state of present being. Smart phones are our safety, our go to, for when we know no one at a party and don't feel like engaging in awkward conversation about mundane subjects in which we care nothing about. We could be sending emails, responding to text messages, and or checking FB. Regardless it's our safety until someone comes over and says, "you know, there are other things you could be doing besides being on your phone. Lol so it goes.
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