The Lens Of Len

just here to list out the important things that no one in real life considers important

[lifethrulen]

I have this family friend

one that was a close friend of my dad’s

they created music together

I’m lucky to say that he stayed in my life after my dad passed

All I’ve ever known was hate towards myself

I talk negatively about myself and I am never joking

This family friend had two beautiful girls of his own

one time I jokingly (but seriously) said something along the lines of “I bet you hope your kids don’t turn out like me”

he seriously said “I would love if my kids turned out like you.”

He meant it.

I never tell him what that meant to me.

He said that years ago.

I will never forget it.

[lifethrulen]

Euphoria you were so special

[lifethrulen]

I saw Bob Dylan live tonight. It was a surreal experience to be in an intimate theater with such a legend - musically and politically. I could feel his influence. Glad I got to see him!

[lifethrulen]

I don’t talk about it

but I’ve always had the desire

to make my suffering known

to those that caused it

Im in flames

all you can do is be disgusted

by the burning smell

my mind is numb at last

but you are worried about the loudness

that hugs the chest of my shirt

you can’t say these things

where I’m from

I lost a friend

a beautiful friend

so now I think about death a lot

to her I wish I could write a final letter

we were at the pit-stop town

along the highway

I felt bold that day

and you felt like yourself that day, kind

picking up rides to your town

when it was time to start over

I trace all of my daydreams on the roads

at that time I wouldn’t have

survived the call

everyday we now fall

im the problem child again

I rot like apples

if I die a victim

I die all yours

[lifethrulen]

Tumblr I miss you I’m struggling

[lifethrulen]

I claimed you all never cared for me

There’s not a lot of words I can speak

to describe my silent misery

but I do feel

as if I’m on the edge of something great

for now i stare out my window

sit near my gee’s fresh evergreen

shit happens to a poet

and they lose their vocabulary

set sail in the empty bottle

I know how to feel good

I know how to get by

I know how to enjoy the trees

but the sadness of Texas

pours their judgement on me

like red wine

[lifethrulen]

Hands

every word about you

I wrote in my blood

every moment I spent sulking

I lost from the real world

until the red target disappeared

and the gun was then transferred

to my hands

I never learned how to shoot

and I don’t know why or when to do so

but it’s all in the wrong hands

because the only time I ever loved someone

that love couldn’t fall into the right hands

8/31/25 12:00AM

[lifethrulen]

Will I die regretting something that was out of my control

my face

[lifethrulen]

why the fuck do I look like this

[lifethrulen]

I grieve who I could’ve been if you could’ve just loved me

5-30-25 2:30AM

[lifethrulen]

I couldn’t tell you that I love you because I don’t in such a way. But I love you. It’s all because I’m the right eyes for you.

It just takes the right eyes to recognize that you are art.

I am the right eyes for you. I remember the words you say and I openly believe you are handsome. I’m not heartbroken. I’m okay with us not being together. You aren’t the right eyes for me and that’s it.

And I’ll never say this either

but I might just one day tell you

perhaps when we are at the beach

in the right eyes you will be art

3-19-25 9:31PM

[lifethrulen]

forever

not a word meant for you

but a word meant for your voice

that I still hear

alive

not a word meant for your body

but a word meant for your soul

idk

3-18-25 10:46PM

[lifethrulen]

I change around you

3-8-25 10:06PM

[lifethrulen]

something tart

let my doubts simmer

2-11-25 9:49PM

[lifethrulen]

I have songs to listen to again

Turning down on Ragley

I feel a wave of anxiety

that a car that I won’t see until the very last minute will collide with me

it’s similar to the doom I feel

for America

and for my relationships

and for everything I love

America used to be a vibrant array

of colors

the sun shining through the thin cloth of the flag

A loud orchestra behind our pride

to which now hate is everywhere

and in effect

I miss when I didn’t

know this one guy

and I often think about my poems about him

but he resurfaces my pain from him

and I can’t win

I am still a whirl wind of grief

I end everything feeling like I’ve lost all I had

god I miss my dad

and I’m sorry I’m like this

2-3-25 12:38AM

[lifethrulen]

even my bed isn’t home right now

1-29-25 10:20PM

[lifethrulen]

they asked why I chose peace over grief

to which I answered

“someone you can’t see chose it for me”

1-22-25 4 years without u 2:51PM