Drink ur muilk

follow my art blog at distressed-kitty

[littlebirdofprey]

ive always hated when a vampire story is trying to distance itself from traditional lore or common perception and the vampire turns up their nose and says "and no. I don't turn into a bat" like they're so offended that you'd even suggest that they could do something so cool. well congratulations you're uncool and boring goodbye

[largishcat]

“Can you turn into a bat?”

“God, no, I wish,” sighed the vampire. “That’d be fucking badass.”

[platypik]

[mikkeneko]

#hey it took him a while but he eventually managed it

[math-memes]

[cundtcake]

the first kitten was bait

[cundtcake]

update: the tactical honda was not prepared for this (but he took them all)

[dogmotif-deactivated20240505]

haha hey i love the blood dripping from your face and the animal rage in your eyes whats your pronouns

[campyvillain]

EVERYONE shut the FACK UP IM ON PUTER

[jumbleytumbles]

GIRL you are GLOWING! GIRL you are RADIOACTIVE! GIRL it's FATAL!

[ferret-on-pancakes]

When your bestie works in the wristwatch factory

[ichigotchipng]

[ichigotchipng]

[ichigotchipng]

[ichigotchipng]

[lazorsandparadox]

I love that on mobile, instead of getting bigger, it just looks like the picture is getting progressively less blurry, as if youre experiencing this from the perspective of someone coming out of a coma

[adonischildsupportcase]

[specialty38-deactivated20200930]

those is mcdonalds jeans?

[ynfynytscrolltbh]

Fun fact: those McDonald’s jeans are part of the standard uniform here in Colombia. I’ve tried at least 16x to ask where they source them, if I can buy them from the manager, even going McDonald’s not to order food but just to ask for the jeans. I asked someone high up in their marketing dept here to see if maybe they know which company sourced them, and still couldn’t get my hands on a pair. Apparently employees only get one pair per year. They’re slightly high-waisted, they taper very slightly, they’re always kind of high water at the bottom, and they’re the perfect light jean color. They’re not stiff, they’re not that stretchy, they’re the perfect denim material. They come with a cloth belt that’s either yellow or turquoise, and the stitching on the M is almost sensual. I will not give up

[lolt64]

theres a hourse in the dirve through

[tooies]

could you please stay on topic

[whitepeopletwitter]

and you can’t stop them

[everythingfox]

(via)

[echo]

street crossiants

[april]

Rating: Not Cute

As magical as it is to see a litter of baby croissants, they are obviously disoriented and will not survive on their own. I hope they were taken to a rescue shelter after this photo was taken.

[recuperationdisliker]

i ate em all. off the ground

[supergameboytwo]

Rating: Cute

Litters of baby croissants love to be eaten. off the ground.

[walkhimdown]

[g1sunstreaker]

[thyrell]

just came up with a really good 4 word cooking horror story but idk if you guys are ready for it

[thyrell]

2 cups vanilla extract

[crusty-the-snowman]

Artemis: *sneezes*

Wally: Oh Artie’s dabbing

Artemis: I’m not dabbing I have fucking allergies

Wally: Watch her she’s gonna do it again

Artemis: *sneezes*

Dick: Hit it Artie hit it

[tastefullyoffensive]

This version slaps

[luxlightly]

Listen, yes of course Eddie Brock is an exceptional example of an alien fucker but I need everyone to understand that the symbiote is canonically from a planet where not only does everything reproduce asexually but the even idea of wanting any kind of relationship with a host was considered so insane and devious that the Venom symbiote was sentenced to death for it. And consider how weird a human must be to them. Humans are as much aliens to symbiotes as symbiotes are to humans.

What I’m saying is in terms of being an alien fucker, NOBODY beats the Venom Symbiote.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

tired: eddie brock is a monsterfucker

wired: venom is a monsterfucker

[timeofdeathnote]