There is one very important thing I need people without major dietary restrictions to understand: the distress caused by allergies, celiac disease, and other food restrictions is largely not about the food.
Do I miss some foods I can't eat anymore without getting sick? Sure, but that's not what really bothers me. What bothers me is being excluded from a huge portion of human social life of which food is a crucial component. What bothers me is the stress and social stigma of trying to figure out what I can safely eat. What bothers me is the amount of extra work and cost that is required of me to identify, obtain, and prepare safe foods. What bothers me is people treating my needs like a nuisance, as though I chose to be like this - as though their brief inconvenience to check an ingredients list is unreasonable, when I deal with this every day of my life forever.
I don't miss the food that much. I miss not having to worry about what I eat. I miss freedom. I miss when trying new foods and new restaurants was fun instead of a minefield. I miss not having to plan my entire life around the need for safe foods.
Food is such a basic human need, and a lot of people don't really need to think about it. When your danger foods can be anywhere and everywhere, suddenly your entire life revolves around avoiding them, and it massively sucks. You get used to it and it's not a big deal most of the time, but then you go to a new restaurant, or your office has a potluck, or you've been invited to a party and suddenly it feels just as miserable and exhausting as it ever has.
This.
This.
It took me a long, long time to identify the limits of my unsafe food web. I'm finally in a place now where I'm not constantly identifying problem foods.
I miss the foods I can't eat, sure, but that is such a mild problem compared to the Ongoing, Systemic, and Overwhelming requirement to vett every single item that I want to invest for every single meal or snack for the rest of my life EVEN IF THEY'VE BEEN PREVIOUSLY VETTED AS SAFE because recipes change whenever they want and there are no warnings about that.
My current aggravation is due to the fact that I live in small town middle america, my specialty foods are being purged from my grocery store and not restocked because if you can eat normal macaroni noodles, you're not going to pay three times as much for grain free macaroni and if I'm the only one buying grain free macaroni, they're not going to keep that in stock.
Despite every attempt at the contrary I now have a monthly grocery cart from Amazon. Because I can't get staples like noodles locally.
I have a bento box that I prep a meal in and take with me when I leave the house. Are we going to be out long enough to need it? I don't know, but I can't stop at a Subway and get a sandwich if we are out long enough. I can go hungry.
I cannot buy prepared foods. They are full of unsafe foods unsafe wrappings unsafe cleaners on the machines and utensils used to make them.
"do you want a piece of--"
No. I appreciate you asking but unless you're handing me an orange or a banana that I can peel, I can't eat it.
Preparing food must happen from scratch. No sauces no soups no bases no mixed anythings.
Traveling requires that I bring all my food (already prepared) or have access to both a kitchen and a grocery store AND time to use both AND space to keep the results.
I can't get on a cruise ship. I can't take an overseas flight.
I can't even buy butter.
I don't care about the foods I'm not supposed to eat. I'm exhausted by keeping track of the ones I can.
If this is you, go download the FIG app and save yourself some grief when scanning ingredients off a package.
