Warnings: mentions of blood, pain, fluff
Author’s note: You may find some grammatical or spelling mistakes. English isn’t my first language (and I am actually looking for someone who will read and correct my stuff before posting them) so Don’t hesitate to tell me if I made a mistake. This wasn’t requested, I wrote this a while ago. Hope you’ll like it :) Feedback is appreciated !
You were with Nick and the next second you were attached at a table, pain radiating through your skull. This pain was familiar. You felt it when you fell down the stairs at your house years ago, or when a vampire knocked you out during one of your first hunts. It was obvious: someone had hit your head pretty hard. Your eyes were still closed because of the pain but as soon as you understood what was happening, they were wide opened. Your mind wasn’t clear, you were thinking slowly. Being tied to a table couldn’t possibly be a good thing. The only thing you could do, besides screaming (which you didn’t do), was getting rid of the rope against your ankles and wrists. You tried to, the rope biting, cutting and burning your skin but it was too strong. That’s when Nick appeared.
Dean and Sam were taking care of the gouls when all you could feel was your energy running out of your body like the blood dripping down from your slipped open wrists. You tried to get out of the rope but it only made your blood drip faster. Being helpless and motionless was unbearable. You felt useless. When the noises finally stopped, you figured that the boys had finished killing the things. You were starting to feel dizzy.
“Guys.” Your hoarse voice surprised you.
You heard another hit before Sam arrived. You could see in his eyes that he was still pumping with adrenaline. That’s the only reason why you couldn’t see any pain and guilt. He can’t help but feel like he has to protect you in any circumstances, but he can’t. And that’s during cases like this that he suffers the most. You had been alone for 20 minutes, and yet something bad happened to you and you hated it.
When Sam pushed you upward, your head started to spin and you felt weak and tired. Your wrists were painful and bloody. Your head started to fall, your neck not holding it straight any longer.
“Y/n, hey !” His big hands came to keep you straight as you were holding your wrists in front of you. So much blood was dripping from them.
“I’m okay. Just..” Another wave of emptiness crushed on you and you felt like you were leaving your body, your eyes rolling behind your eyelids.
“Dean ! Stay with me Y/n.” He screamed his brother’s name. You know how much he hates to see you like that. You know that he is always afraid that you won’t wake up. So, with your last strengths, you tried to reassure him.
“Just passing out Sam.” Your voice was nothing but a whisper. You wanted to throw up. “I’m just pass…” And you got swallowed by the darkness.
Pain. Blank. What happened ? You could feel pressure on your wrists. Am I tied up again ? Your heart started to race and you opened your eyes, moving your arms before moaning in pain.
“Hey hey shhh that’s okay, we’re almost there.”
You looked up and saw Sam’s face. We are in the car. He slowly caressed your skull with one of his hand. Oh fuck. I’m not stitch up yet. One of Sam’s hand was on your wrists, making pressure on the red towels.
“Please tell me you stitched me up. Tell me I’m clean at least.” You whined.
“I’m sorry babe, we’re almost at the motel.” His voice reflected his concern, and you felt how his hands in your hair and on your wrists were shaking. He was in so much pain at this moment. His eyes were switching between the road, you, the road, your wrists, you, the road. He was also biting his lips.
“Sam, I’m good.” You needed to reassure him.
“I know.” His nervous voice wasn’t saying so.
“No, you don’t. It’s just a lot of blood. I’m good.” Your voice was weak. “Dean, tell him that I’m good.”
“Let’s patch you up and we’ll see later.” Dean wasn’t helping, of course. He was too busy, trying to get you as fast as possible to the motel.
The next second, you were parked in front of your motel room. You were so tired.
“Let’s go.” Sam took you in his strong arms and you felt like you were as heavy as a feather. The dizziness took over your body as they rushed you inside.
“In the tub.” Only Sam heard you. He put you in the tub and went to get the first aid kit while Dean grabbed a bottle of alcohol. He held the bottle as you swallowed a good amount of it, feeling the burn in your body. Some of it was dripping on your chin but it didn’t matter in the instant. You knew what was coming. You had witnessed it many times but never experienced it as being the wounded person.
“Bite in it.” Dean pushed his belt in your mouth and Sam arrived in the room. You felt the towels going off of your arms. It was not painful but you prepared yourself for what was coming. You looked at the ceiling, already biting in the belt.
“Ready ?” Dean’s voice was determined, like always. He always knows how to do things.
“Do it.” For a small second, it was just the feeling of cold liquid on your wound. And then, the pain rushed and radiated through your arms, causing your breath to get caught in your throat before you started to scream. You tried to hold your screams back. They are living this all the time and you felt stupid, showing your pain when all they do is groan when injured. That was just your very first bad injury.
Even if it was covered by your screams, you heard Sam repeating the same thing all over again. “Please pass out, please pass out, please pass out.” like an incantation. And, fortunately, you did.
When you woke up, you could still feel the pain in your arms but nothing compared to the alcohol passage. You were laying on your back, your arms at the side of your body. They were wrapped in bandages and you could feel how dirty in dry blood you were. You were alone in the motel room. Are they back on a hunt ? No, not without me. You felt your stomach twitch as the hunger felt the need to manifest itself. Of course you are hungry, you need to eat. That’s one of the natural need you tend to forget.
Slowly, you sat on the edge of the bed and stayed there, staring at your bandages. You didn’t want to see your wounds. It was certain that under those bandages your wrists could only be disgusting, awfully stitched. It was a stupid thing, but at the moment you were only worried about the fact that you were going to have scars for the rest of your life. You would have to tell every guy you were going to end up naked with that you are not a suicidal girl, that those scars ended here because of an accident. Deep down, you were hoping that the guys had improved on their stitching game and that the stitches had been done correctly. The sound of keys on the door stopped all those stupid thoughts from running through your mind and you grabbed the gun under your pillow, hissing at the pain.
“Hey, easy tiger.” Dean joked, as usual, as you put the gun down. The first thing you noticed was the bags in his hands.
“I’m starving. Is it food ?”
“She is definitely doing better.” He laughed.
“Yes, it’s food.” Sam answered your question and helped you get up. You leaned on him for a minute, the world spinning around you. Your head was on his chest as he was holding you by the shoulders. Just for a minute, you closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his hands on you.
“Come on. You need to eat.” His tone surprised you. You nodded and took a step away, walking on your own towards the table in the room. Dean had already started to eat his burger. You grabbed one in the bag with a pack of chips and sighed as you took a bite.
“Is it good ?” Sam asked as he took a seat next to you.
“Actually, not very but I’m too hungry to care.”
After you ate, Dean had the kindness to leave you alone with Sam while he went outside to a bar. You know it because you heard the door slammed whilst you were getting undressed in the bathroom. You needed a shower. As always, you didn’t lock the door. It’s a rule between the three of you. You share one room, almost always come back wounded and with all the crap you are all dealing with it’s reassuring to keep it unlocked. Also, you have blind faith in each other. It’s essential during hunts to trust your partners.
The water started to run down your body. It quickly turned red with all the blood on you. Your bandages were still on you. You were so scared to take them off. When you were 17 you burned your ankle riding a bike. Several times, your bandage was glued to your wound and you had to pull it off. It hurt. Nothing compared to what you felt earlier but it’s still pain. The curtain of the shower moved and you turned around, seeing Sam joining you. Your heart started to beat fast because of the surprise, but kept its rhythm because of the amazing man in front of you. Gently, he pushed your hair out of your face and his eyes drifted on your arms. You knew that he was blaming himself for those wounds. Slowly, he took the bandages off. It didn’t hurt at all but you couldn’t look away from your arms.
“I’m sorry, I did what I could.”
“That’s good. Don’t be sorry, that’s really good.”
You know that because you were in med school before you became a hunter. It won’t leave a mark that bad. When you plunged your gaze in his, you saw all the hurt and guilt he was feeling. You cupped his face with your hands and made him look at you in the eye.
“I should have protected you.” He blurted it out, looking down.
“You did. Sam, that’s okay.”
You took a few steps back and took him with you under the water. Like before, you posed your head on his chest, your hands against it as he wrapped his strong arms around you.
His hold on you became tighter and he posed his head on yours. You started to cry silently, the tears running down with the hot water.
“I love you so much.” His voice was nothing but a murmur. You kissed his chest softly and caressed his skin with your hands. You stayed like that a few minutes before you got out. You were clean of my blood. Quickly, you put your pajamas on and went to bed. Sam took a little more time to get out of the shower. As soon as he was out, he went to bed. You were sitting crossed leg in the middle of the bed and he sat next to you.
“You know that I’m okay, right ?”
His emotions were still visible in his eyes.
“Sam, it’s not your fault. Please.”
He didn’t answer and kept staring at his hands.
“I know we’ll have to talk but I’m really tired. Can we just cuddle and sleep ? Please ?”
Your only wish at that time was to fall asleep in his arms, forget about the awful day and the argument to come. To forget about your life just for one night. He sighed and got under the blanket, you did the same. You both tried to take a comfortable position against each other without causing too much pain. You may have two long wounds on your wrists but he got hit too. Some bruises there and a bloody eyebrow here. Nothing too bad but it’s always pain. Finally, he hugged you from behind, his breath crashing against your neck as you tangled your legs and squeezed his hand tight. An argument was to come, you knew it for sure, but at least you were alive, the both of you alive and together for one more day.
