I'm The Kind Of Human Wreckage That You Love @lilalilan - Tumblr Blog

Hey friends I'm going to start going by the name Hamlet from now on I think

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

whitachi

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

strawbebbynya

I'm in love with your imagination. We should get our necromancers to set up a play date sometime

warbeneaththerain

the concept of inexplicably doing a full danger days festival set in the middle of the infinite black parade tour is so funny to me that i desperately hope thats whats happening

warbeneaththerain

the concept of inexplicably doing a full danger days festival set in the middle of the infinite black parade tour is so funny to me that i desperately hope thats whats happening

esarity11

how daniel molloy feels after trying to conduct an accurate interview about vampires, but his subjects are louis de pointe du lack of information, lestat de lyingcourt, armanipulator, and claudead.

my-flying-sister

I love rebloging. It’s the adult equivalent of showing everyone the cool rock I just found.

the-dandy-liar

retrospektiw-deactivated2024081

still laughing my ass off to this

offslime

Video ID: Weird Al and Eminem sitting in fancy room. Al: I was a little bit nervous about do this interview Eminem: Relax, Guy! I like gay men, you know? Al: That’s great, but, I- I’m not gay. Eminem: I don’t believe that. ID end.

pray-er-humunculus

#I think this is a skit they wrote, theyre both in on it.

punkrorschach

this is a show weird al did where he took other interviews and edited it together with his parts. everything eminem says is real and unscripted, its just in response to an entirely different conversation.

red-eye-radio

So I thought y'all would like this too This great white comes to the jersey shore every year and this year they named her and have been tracking her hella so this is Mary Lee and she decided to show herself under this rainbow for pride month A true gay icon

victoryyodel

#This is the representation I’ve been looking for

phantomrose96

A master to his action-hero trainee says, "Your movements are sloppy. You lack awareness of your body when you fight. Your hands move and yet you do not hold them in your mind's eye. Come. We will remedy this."

And then the master paints his trainee's fingernails and orders the trainee to complete a series of complicated tasks without smudging the nail polish.

phantomrose96

Trainee grumbles that this is stupid when the first set of tasks is just cleaning the dojo. Within two minutes he reaches for the dustpan and knocks the edge of his pinky nail against it in a way he's never noticed before. He's staring at the baby blue smudge and suddenly he understands things differently.

phantomrose96

There's a montage of days passing as he fetches water, chops wood, hoes crops, washes clothes. His nails are a different color during each cut. He's sprinting up the mountain with a fresh wet pedicure and the master is nodding in approval. The master's nails are flawless tech art.

phantomrose96

He's reached his final assessment and it's a sparing match against his master. The air smells of acetone. His and the master's nails are all freshly painted. He must land a blow on the master with his mani and pedi fully intact.

Suns and moons pass. Streak in the ring finger. Smudge on the pinky. A full-handed block at the cost of three nails of paint. A hit on his master, and he hoots in delight until the master points out the unguarded toe whose polish is now streaked across the master's robe.

Days pass in frustration and exhaustion. By day 40, he has every digit of his acutely in his mind's eye. He senses the master's attack, ducks, dodges, all fingers all toes all himself, aware, and he strikes with his wooden sword.

It connects with the master. The master pauses. The trainee raises his left hand into view--5 digits of flawless sunflower yellow. His left foot. His right foot. And finally his right hand, raised in triumph.

The master smiles. "You have passed. I have just one more technique to teach you."

The technique is how to draw little flowers into the nail art. So really this one is optional.

creekfiend

when you have been socially punished out of articulating how and why you are struggling with something and what supports you need to do better, and the dominant framework in society is "people fail due to some Inner Personal Defect" well

that's just. a recipe for havig twelve mental illnesses

penny-anna

The Martian of course was part of the small but notable genre of movies 'people expend huge amounts of effort to rescue Matt Damon'. In Project Hail Mary we see a foundational entry in the inverse genre 'people expend huge amounts of effort to send Ryan Gosling away forever'. Excited to see where we send Ryan Gosling next.

caspercryptid

I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird

caspercryptid

If someone is doing things that don't make Sense, try to understand that it is entirely possible that their brain is probably under an enormous weight and fracturing under the pressure. People who have been stabbed will sometimes talk a circle around the fact that they've been stabbed because stress and shock prevent you from recognizing the distress you are in and what you need to do to seek help for it. PTSD will do this also. You will find yourself repeatedly jamming a bag of frozen fruit into the same spot in the freezer where it doesn't fit and keeps falling, over and over and over, focused on nothing but that bag. You will decide that a beanbag chair is 10000% necessary to your life. You will lose your entire shit because you stubbed your toe on a table and that means the whole setup of your furniture is wrong. These are largely harmless examples. People under strain will also hurt themselves and others. Cornered animals bite. And it doesn't heal the bite to go "Hey, are you okay?" But it might get you to an animal that stops biting, so you can start to heal. And before you had an animal that bit, you probably had an animal that kept doing shit you didn't understand as stress signals

jauntylittlefrillyboy

typecasting sucks unless it's Charlize Theron playing an emotionally unstable woman in an action thriller in which case it fucking rules

annabelle--cane

stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation with the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.

hustlerose

(first time doing praise kink) you are Useful

andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes

I am so sick and tired of having to charge stuff every day of my miserable life!! My phone, my watch, my headphones, my vibrator, my backup vibrator, my emergency vibrator, the ancient cursed amulet of darkness that whispers to me....it's too much!!!