Iāve gained like 40ish lbs since 2019 (thanks covid). I was 147 lbs and 23 in 2019, Iām now 189 and 29. At my chubbiest in 2020 I was 196. Iām 5ā8 so it doesnāt show too much but man those numbers use to freak me the fuck out. I was ashamed for getting so big, but in day to day life and in pictures I didnāt look that different. Clothes def fit differently and it was a little harder to shop, but really all that meant was I went from a medium to a large at most stores. I now look at pictures of me in my early early 20s and am shocked at how skinny I was. That I ever thought that 147 was fat.
Anyways, Iāve been trying to lose weight on and off since about 2023. I did lose 7 lbs in the later half of 2020 after I had my wisdom teeth removed, but since then Iāve been losing and regaining the same 10lbs. Now that Iāll be 30 in May š (jk I think turning 30 is way better than turning 20) Iāve gotten a little more serious about it this year. So far Iāve lost and kept off about 3 lbs just from calorie tracking. Which, in the past would sent me off the deep end of restrictive eating but now Iām much better about it and let my husband convince me to get sweet treats and drinkies even if I go over calories. Heās the best and I love him with all my heart. Itās crazy to think how just having him in my life and his constant love for me has made me feel so much secure about myself. I was wearing a big shirt as pijamas and thought I looked kinda okay, but he saw me and told me I looked cute. He doesnāt care how big I am, he loves me for me and that makes me feel so much better about trying to lose weight. Sometimes Iāll get mopey and tell him I wish he couldāve met me in my prime when I was skinny and beautiful and heāll tell me Iām beautiful now and that he loves me how I am. One day Iād like to go back to being 147, but Iām okay knowing it might never happen, cuz my husband will love me no matter what š
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