feedfritz.tumblr.com

^^^^^new blog!! this one SHOULD redirect to feedfritz.tumblr.com!

[lilfritz]

i wrote a new song today. it’s probably the one i’m most proud of. and i’m so happy that i’ve rediscovered my own creativity again. life is finally opening up again. i have hope

[lilfritz]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnoRj24OjBM)

[lilfritz]

got my coffee. got my incense.

[lilfritz]

i want some friends that are down to drink coffee in the early morning with me and just talk, maybe go hiking once in a while. we could go shopping and buy strange things that we like.

i’d like to have a man full of kindness to cook for and project all of my bottled up love onto. i want to watch old horror movies and follow tv shows together. i wanna make tea together and make jokes. i want to mess up his hair and scratch his back while we wait for whatever. i want to love someone with such an unconditional and innocent love. 

but the last time i wished for these things, they didn’t end well. i lost every friend. the man i thought i loved and i thought i was going to spend the rest of eternity with doesn’t exist. it was a mask. just a figment of my imagination. so what do i do now? i somehow keep pushing on. go to college, go to my job, go to drill, do my homework, work out, watch what i eat, be the perfect daughter, be the perfect sister, keep praying to God for resolve, keep moving, go to church, be kind, and whatever else i am suppose to strive for. i can’t be who everyone wants me to be. i don’t know what i want to be. i feel alone and sad. i feel like i’m not trying hard enough, yet i’m trying too hard. too much obligation, yet i need more. i’m tired of juggling. i think i may be upset.

my ex fiance wants to be friends. i don’t know what i want from him. i’m not mad. i’m not sad. i’m not bitter at all. it’s been months and i’m over it. i’m not sad because of him and no one understands that. i’m sad because the future that i’ve imagined for myself for the past 4 years has completely disappeared and no one cares except me. “you’re young. you have opportunity. you don’t know the world yet.” no, i don’t know ANYTHING yet, but i do know that i don’t wanna be where i am now. yes, there’s plenty of time and opportunity to do tremendous things in my life, but i don’t want to right now. i don’t want to make a lot of money. i don’t want to be the most successful. don’t get me wrong, that is wonderful if you are successful and have a great paying job. i only want my other half. i crave for the love of a man that means it. 

Lord, please help me in all of this. I am hurt and tired of being alone. I know You are with me, but i’m so sick of being the loner. 

being alone gets lonely

[uneventfulness]

my blog will make you smile ♥

[lilfritz]

love this

[lilfritz]

one day i hope i just run into my future husband while i’m out getting shopping and it’s like oh hey you’re the one that i’m missing and it’s magical and we know that we’re for each other

[lilfritz]

[lilfritz]

going through a break up right now, and this just helps put things into the perspective. the world is so beautiful and big and full of life and death. we must learn and move forward. we must accept things as they are and let it be. it is never the end of the world when something so small happens. i am a tiny thing in this gigantic world

[lilfritz]

wish it was fall for more than 2/52 weeks of the year.

[realizes]

[lilfritz]

this would be so much better if they spelled William Shakespeare the right way

[mxxxxox]

[noizzex]

[realizes]

[lilfritz]

hi :) if you are following this blog, i have moved! i use this one because i'm too lazy to refollow every one again, lol. THIS blog page should redirect to my real one. so if you wanna follow that one, go ahead and click on this one! i appreciate it!

[lilfritz]

let's build a small boat and go to the lake. let's abandon all life's problems in the wake. let's float away just us two. let's be alone and sail to the moon.

[westernrise]

[fit-fab-fun]