this is a never ending process after all. I thought i was done with the first night, but no, all of a sudden another piece fell into place.
Now that the stressful and urgent part is over and Hawke can think clearly again, he remembers something important and figures that now is a good time for it. Fitting. He jumps away from Fenris to get out of the bed.
Fenris is surprised and a little worried, because why is Hawke moving away all of a sudden? Where is he going now? He was touching Fenris with so much care a minute ago and made him feel so treasured (wish I could say "feel loved" but could Fenris actually know the difference?), and he wants Hawke to hold him some more, wants to soak in his safe engulfing warmth, but Hawke is standing up and heads off somewhere on wobbly legs... Fenris hopes he hasn't done anything wrong He is so full of anxiety I want to cry
Hawke moves to the armoir again, takes out a blanket and something else, returns to bed, puts the folded blanket down for now, then moves even closer to Fenris which makes him feel relief .
Hawke smiles shyly as he holds out his hand and shows Fenris the red favour.
Fenris eyes the item wonderingly and asks what it is.
A reminder. Don't ever forget that I'm here.
Fenris can't say anything because his mind is still hazy but his heart is beating faster, and he isn't sure what's happening, and he's sleepy, but he must say/do something.
With one shaky hand he takes the ribbon, and brings the other to touch it almost reverently because, holy shit, a GIFT??. He inspects it for a few seconds, then carefully places it on top of his right hand and holds it out to Hawke, suggesting that he tie it for him. Hawke beams at that and gently ties the scarf around Fenris's wrist in a loose knot, taking the opportunity to caress Fenris's fingers.
Fenris, watching Hawke tie the scarf with a focused expression, marvels at an unusual feeling that spreads in his chest. A complete lack of fear. He has never felt so relaxed, so at peace.
None of them says anything, neither has the words nor strength for it. Hawke only leans in to kiss Fenris on the nose again because of course (I think Fenris suspects now that Hawke is enamoured with his nose. Probably finds it amusing).
Hawke finally reaches for the blanket, spreads it out, lowers himself on his favored (right) side of the bed and covers them both. He stretches out his left arm, gesturing an invitation for Fenris to move closer if he wants to.
Fenris readily accepts and snuggles in.
There. NOW they can finally cuddle and go to sleep until Fenris wakes up.
I realise that I'm probably overdoing the I'm here thing, but I can't help myself. My brain decided that this is officially their secret key phrase from their very own love language. It can't be undone now.
And just as I typed all this it occured to me that maybe that overwhelming feeling of safety and peace was the trigger that made Fenris remember his past - the time with his family? Children feel most safe with their loving family, right? fml
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