long time no see | james & lily
@going-stag
Being back in London felt strange to James. This was partly because he spent the last two days inebriated, shutting down pubs with Sirius and Remus. This odd feeling could also be blamed on the fact that this was no longer his home. He didn’t have a home. In the past few years he’d rarely been in the same place for more than a week or two. James had grown accustomed to life on the road. While there was an air of familiarity here and he was enjoying catching up with his oldest friends, he couldn’t help but feel fidgety, like he needed to be across the country somewhere fighting someone for something.
All that being said, his anxiety immediately calmed when he spotted Lily at the meeting. What was a loud restless roar in his head, quieted down to nothing but the dull buzz he’d grown accustomed to over the years - it kept him on his feet. He wondered how she was doing; where she was staying, who she was seeing. They’d tried writing each other for a short time when he first left, but that communication, or lack there of, only proved to make their separation harder. James never wanted to leave Lily, he felt he had to. How happy would they really be in constant fear, putting their lives in danger every time they stepped out the house? He left so they could actually be together in peace, and he thought things had certainly progressed in that direction. Even if he and other members had to sacrifice their lives to get it done.
James had just wrapped up his story to Kingsley about a rather nasty Death Eater he faced in Sweden and said his goodbyes when Lily approached him. He’d been preparing for this moment from the very second he returned, rehearsing every word, now he was speechless. So instead he doesn’t say a word, he does what feels natural to him, what had been natural to them. He smiles, steps forward, erasing the casual distance between them, and wraps his arms around her into a hug.
While they weren’t exactly on the best terms, and hadn’t said the most pleasant things to each other last time they spoke. James still loved her. That fact couldn’t be denied by space, time, or bloody Death Eaters. He takes in the smell of her hair before taking a step back. He’d almost forgotten the feeling she gave him; like he was weak in the knees but able to run a marathon if she asked him to.
“Yes I am, alive. No thanks to Sirius, I didn’t think it was possible to drink that much whiskey.”
James chuckles and runs a hand through his untidy black hair. He scratches his beard, which had grown rather long, and adjusts the collar on his shirt - all this as if just realizing how unkept he must’ve looked.
“I’ve missed you Lil…”
Of all the reactions Lily expects, the most likely one doesn’t even cross her mind. As James pulls her in close, she lets out the breath she was holding onto and doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around him as well. The hug is fierce for both of them; it settles something in Lily that she didn’t know was loose. Seeing James is one thing, but feeling his arms around her and hearing his heartbeat, however briefly, against her ear does wonders for the worry she clings to. When they step back it takes everything in her not to tug him close again. She hides her fretting hands in her coat, keeping it draped over her forearms where her hands are clasped together tightly.
The laugh James gets is genuine. The smile on Lily’s face broadens. It’s delightful to hear they all went drinking, getting into trouble the way they did before the war started running their lives. “Your mistake for underestimating how much booze Sirius can put away,” Lily jokes.
Her eyes follow his nervous movements. The hand in his hair, the scratch to his beard, and the touch to his collar all feel so familiar to her. He looks just as ruggedly handsome as he did when she last saw him and it’s a struggle not to reach out and run her fingers along the edge of his beard to tease him for it.
The confession makes her chest grow tight. All the unsaid, unresolved things between them rear their heads again, choking her out. “I’ve missed you too, James.” Her voice betrays how much she means it; Lily has never been able to hide how she feels about James and a bit of time and space hasn’t changed that. She still loves him, and it comes through in the way she says his name and how relieved she sounds to see him.
They can’t linger here forever though. Most everyone has gone by now, and Lily knows she should eat some proper dinner at some point. The idea of going out doesn’t really appeal to her either though, and judging by the bags under James’s eyes, she can’t imagine another night out works in his favor either.
“I don’t know what your plans are, but I started some soup before I left the house. Have you eaten yet?”
Lily knows that she should probably tread a little more delicately, but things between them have never been delicate. Explosive collisions, sure, but delicate? That’s just not how they do things.
