I Don’t Know, But Lets Do It

29 years old . Living in FL. Going with the flow.

[lilliticat]

Buy, Use, Reuse ♻️

All these where good smelling candles at one point🥰

[lilliticat]

I’m back. Yes ! I’m drunk. I had a four loco .... I know lol embarrassing but like , I felt Frisky lol ... Anyway, so guess fucking what, WE ARE MOVING TO COLORADO SPRINGS! wtf??!! I know right ? Well our lease is up the end of December. And we’re not renewing . We wanna move . My partner applied at a job in Colorado and got a call/offer back. WILD! Oh and btw..... We are broke and only have our car so no money and no place to live and she’s the only one with a job. We will be living in our car . In Colorado, WINTER TIME ! YOLO

[lilliticat]

It’s the perfect weather outside. Nice and chilly, a little windy. The sun is still out. It’s perfect, with a nice warm cup of coffee. A blunt on one hand.

I love it here right now. Just for now.

[sunnieblues]

[lilliticat]

Always have to try to do well on your own !!

[lilliticat]

“Green, Yellow, Red... Green, Yellow, Red” These are my three colors. I repeat them and add more colors until I have a chain of random colors and I can’t think of more so I get tired and fall asleep.

I have a very active mind at night and I have a very hard time falling asleep. I worry, I replay scenes of my life over and over. I regret, overthink, plan, rearrange things all night.

“Green, Yellow, Red” my nose is so stuffy, my partner is sleeping next to me and she has to be up in 5 hrs. And I’m typing away on my phone because I can’t SLEEP!!! Stop thinking!!! Don’t worry!!! It’ll be fine!!! Damn , it’s exhausting ..

“Green, Yellow, Red”

[lilliticat]

There is always something to be said. No if’s, and’s, or but’s. Say it!!!! But but, think about it twice cause the mouth is a powerful weapon, that tongue is quite sharp.

[lilliticat]

Why do I always have to finish drinking (beer/wine) before I eat dinner. Is that weird? Not only dinner, but anything in general. Anyway, yes I’m still a little sick, I know... not best to drink lol but ehhhh I feel better!

Juan Gabriel is singing so beautifully into my ears right now 🎶 RIP JG

It was another boring slow day today. I had coffee this morning, a little too much lol (the shakes)

Send me good vibes cause sis always needs it .

[lilliticat]

Guess what?

I live in Pensacola and I got hit by hurricane sally. lol

Also I finally got power yesterday, after 4 days of being with no power. All my food went bad. My house was stinky when I got home . Not Joking. And guess what else? I’m sick now lol I know right? It joking either. I got me a whole ass big ol’flu or cold. I don’t know but I feel like shit. Also, guess what else, I’m drunk, not the best thing to do but I felt like death that I decide to fix me up a whiskey and honey and lemon warm shot and ooooooh baby, 🔥 that felt good and opened up all my sinuses and eyes and shirt and all lol. Pray for me . I need to go back to work y’all.

[lilliticat]

I’m drunk

Pink Floyd. Time . Guitar solo by the one and only David Gilmore.

Vibrates my ears. I will definitely need ear help for when I’m older cause I always blast my music, always . It makes me happy and oh I feel every beat in my souls and bones and muscles and everything . It helps me . Heals me .

“Baby, baby don’t leave . Ooh please don’t leave me”🎶🎶. Yes yes yes the supremes. I’m drunk . Laying on the separate rug . $130 it cost me . And I say separate because the dogs aren’t allowed on it . They will pee on it . Being honest . Rex peed on it already and I scrubbed that away . Quick. Mae hasn’t . She’s a pitbull. She’ll ruin it .

[lilliticat]

Listening to jazz music.

I have called off of work for like 4 days. Why??? Because I can’t even wake up in the morning. I feel physically unable to go . I think of work and I feel sick to my stomach. I’m gonna get fired.... I should look for another job just to be prepared. My partner will be upset with me. Fuck. I’m definitely mental

[lilliticat]

I was called an alcoholic today. By my partner. It angered me because that’s the last person I want to hear tell me that I have a problem. It wasn’t an argument or hostile situation or nothing like that. She giggled, and said it.

Sad part is, I know she’s right. But I don’t want to hear it from her. This is not what I need right now. I need to get help for real. I’m young. Nights like these can suck at times ❗️

[lilliticat]

I need to find me . ME . I need to focus on me. I need to work on myself. Why do I feel like I’m always messing up? No. No, why am I always left out. Not cared about. No consideration on my feelings or what I go thru. Is it cause I keep everything to myself? And only speak up after it all boils over and explodes in my face and it makes me look like an insane , mental, emotional person.

Am I normal?

[lilliticat]

Same shit, different day.

Hello, are you having a good day? Bad day? Both?

.... same . It happens, I have those days where it’s a rollercoaster of emotions all day. So draining right? It feel so out of control .

“I’m in a good moment right now . I’m going to make it last. I’ll have a good day. “ say it ! And repeat it in your head . That’s what I’m gonna do, I just came up with it . It’ll work . It has to !!

[lilliticat]

You guys think I’m lying when I say my life is a whole ass movie rollercoaster 🍿 hear this 👂

My partner and I made plans to go to a resort for our friends birthday. It’s this weekend. I’m home with a huge ass bottle of wine . And my partner is on her way to the resort with her brother instead cause we can’t leave him here or the dogs alone. (I have a pitbull) 😂😂 lucky shit right ?????

Let’s get drunk 🥴

[lilliticat]

Guess what?

I live in Pensacola and I got hit by hurricane sally. lol

Also I finally got power yesterday, after 4 days of being with no power. All my food went bad. My house was stinky when I got home . Not Joking. And guess what else? I’m sick now lol I know right? It joking either. I got me a whole ass big ol’flu or cold. I don’t know but I feel like shit. Also, guess what else, I’m drunk, not the best thing to do but I felt like death that I decide to fix me up a whiskey and honey and lemon warm shot and ooooooh baby, 🔥 that felt good and opened up all my sinuses and eyes and shirt and all lol. Pray for me . I need to go back to work y’all.

[lilliticat]

You guys think I’m lying when I say my life is a whole ass movie rollercoaster 🍿 hear this 👂

My partner and I made plans to go to a resort for our friends birthday. It’s this weekend. I’m home with a huge ass bottle of wine . And my partner is on her way to the resort with her brother instead cause we can’t leave him here or the dogs alone. (I have a pitbull) 😂😂 lucky shit right ?????

Let’s get drunk 🥴

[lilliticat]

Same shit, different day.

Hello, are you having a good day? Bad day? Both?

.... same . It happens, I have those days where it’s a rollercoaster of emotions all day. So draining right? It feel so out of control .

“I’m in a good moment right now . I’m going to make it last. I’ll have a good day. “ say it ! And repeat it in your head . That’s what I’m gonna do, I just came up with it . It’ll work . It has to !!