ashen memories

Hi, my name's Shannon~ 23yo | girl | ♊ | living in US/MD ► Pls use askbox not fanmail (unless you want I guess) I'm a little cutie princess in denial, who likes video games, movies, and learning about anything and everything. Often gets a little racy, so Tumblr Savior #nsfw or #life if you don't wanna hear any of that shenanigans. PSN: ashenneko Steam: Lily Kun-ai 3DS: 1392-4810-5764

[absurdcrow-deactivated20251107]

CURRENTLY SOBBING. OK SOO, RIPLEY IS GAY?!!

and lambert is actually trans?? 😭😭

[not-in-absentia-deactivated2023]

I had to check, it does also appear on screen

[necromanticalscience]

There's a better shot of it in Aliens, right at the start when they're listing the Nostromo crew memebrs!

Also I read that there are deleted scenes of Ripley and Lambert arguing and being more overtly in a relationship. Ever since I learned that it's been my favorite ship.

[pizzaback-deactivated20201011]

[gothbfkermit]

not that my input really matters, but i don’t know much of lgbt history other than bits and pieces of stonewall, a little bit of the aids crisis, and the legalization of gay marriage; i’m an actual child and nobody here (kentucky) educates anyone/gets educated on it

[iwilleatyourenglish]

how about instead of shaming people—especially young people—for not knowing our history, we provide them with credible resources?

here’s a long list of LGBT+ historical events worth googling and learning about. i’m not sure if all the dates and details are spot on, but, again, this is really just a guide for what to research on your own. to warn you, a lot of this history is ugly, including things like the conflation of pedophilia and LGBT+ people, genital mutilation, homophobia, transphobia, nazis, and wide scale persecution.

Free Resources:

an interactive timeline of LGBT+ world history

The 1950s and the Roots of LGBT Politics (American-centric)

Before Stonewall: The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community (warning: this documentary was made in the 80s and is dated in a lot of respects as a result; it also features quotes from Allen Ginsberg, who we now know was a pedophile, but it’s still very informative in terms of history)

a brief history of the bisexual movement from the 1960s-early 2000s (American-centric)

Bisexual.org has a TON of resources on bi (and often pan) history, historical figures, research, and media

“Here’s A History Of Bisexuality, From Ancient Egypt To Stonewall”

a brief timeline of trans history, beginning in the 1890s (European and American-centric)

“Gender Variance Around the World Over Time”

Some Purchasable Resources:

(most of these can be bought used online for pretty cheap and some can be found in libraries)

Before Stonewall: Activists for Gay and Lesbian Rights in Historical Context by Vern L Bullough (it’s a bit dated, but still informative)

A Little Gay History: Desire and Diversity Across the World by R. Parkinson

Sapphistries: A Global History of Love between Women (Intersections) by Leila J. Rupp

Gay Voices of the Harlem Renaissance (Blacks in the Diaspora) by A.B. Christa Schwarz

The Lavender Scare: The Cold War Persecution of Gays and Lesbians in the Federal Government by David K. Johnson

Queer Brown Voices: Personal Narratives of Latina/o LGBT Activism edited by Uriel Quesada, Letitia Gomez, and Salvador Vidal Ortiz

Transgender History: The Roots of Today’s Revolution by Susan Stryker

Asegi Stories: Cherokee Queer and Two-Spirit Memory by Qwo-Li Driskill

[acepalindrome]

A lot of LGBT history tends to be (understandably) very 20th century focused, so to offer some earlier historical resources I would like to recommend Male Colors: The Construction of Homosexuality in Tokugawa Japan by Gary P. Leupp. It was very interesting and readable! While it’s super important to be aware of our recent history, it’s also important to remember that we have always existed throughout all of history and in all parts of the world!

[acepalindrome]

Another book rec: Same-Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe by John Boswell!

[afloweroutofstone]

Two good documentaries:

Paris is Burning (1990), a classic documentary about the New York ball culture of the 1980’s and the LGBTQ people of color which were involved in it; ball culture served as one of the major foundations for modern American gay culture.

How To Survive a Plague (2012), about two of the major activist groups- ACT UP and TAG- during the AIDS crisis.

[cherhorowitzhamilton]

How To Survive a Plague largely ripped off, whitewashed and defanged the work and research that went into United in Anger, by the same person who got attention for ripping off Reina Gossett’s work on Marsha P Johnson more recently; it may still have nuggets in it worth watching for but the original work, United in Anger, is freely available in full on youtube and much better.

For another book, Out of the Closets ed. Karla Jay and Allen Young is a great anthology of writings from 20th c. LGBTQ liberation groups including both pre- and post- stonewall things

Gay New York by George Chauncey is unfortunately very focused on gay men specifically without much consideration to overlap with other LGBTQ groups but is nonetheless a pretty incredible account of pre-stonewall gay social life in NYC

 Paris is Burning  is for sure still an essential viewing so like watch it if you haven’t, and then find criticisms of it and read carefully. bell hooks has written about it and this would be a fine place to start - although criticisms produced from people within ball culture are really what’s necessary to hear and be aware of

[spirit3d4w4y]

Things You Need to Know About the Outgoing Introvert

1. When we see you after a long day, we might be all irritable and not want to talk

It has nothing to do with you. Outgoing introverts, though still introverts at their core, often need to recharge after a large use of social energy. After a long day of dealing with people, our social batteries are drained and we need to unwind and recover, usually alone.

2. We’re charming creatures and can be the life of the party, but…

You’ll be surprised how much we actually live in our heads. People often confuse us for extroverts, but we’re too introspective and over-think too much to be one.

3. If we like you, we really like you.

We don’t waste our time with people we’re not completely crazy about. If we agreed to go on a date with you, we like you. Take it as a huge compliment.

4. We have times when we’re weird with our phones.

Some days we can talk for hours, but sometimes we’re not so good at replying and talking on the phone. Don’t take it personally - we screen our phone calls, even from our closest friends. Outgoing introverts sometimes hate the phone because it’s all, like, intrusive and tears our minds away from whatever we’re deeply focusing on (and we are always deeply focusing on something). Our mind doesn’t change direction easily. Listening to one thing and seeing something else is a lot of sensory input piled on top of everything that’s already going on in our heads.

5. But don’t worry, in person we’ll listen to you for hours.

We have spectrums of introversion, so we’re good listeners. We’ll always be naturally in tune with how you’re feeling, so we’ll be able to see through any front you put up and make you jump into the deep end.

6. We need to dip our foot in the pool first.

We need time to warm up, so, like, chill. We tend not to outwardly express our feelings and spill our whole life story in the first hour of meeting you. Or the first year.

7. Our energy level depends on our environment.

Yes, we can get annoyed easily. If we vibe with the crowd, we can get our energy from human interactions. But if we don’t, we’ll start to get really introspective and reflective, and tend to withdraw into ourselves. It’s kinda like a hit or miss. We’re very selectively social. But it’s not because we dislike people - it’s actually the opposite. We dislike the barriers like small talk (which often comes with going out) creates between people, and try to avoid it at all costs.

8. You’ll think we are flirty with everyone.

Okay here’s the thing, when we inevitably have to interact with people, we make it seem like there’s nothing in the world we’d rather be doing. It’s ‘cause we’re, like, overly sensitive and so we go out of our way to make other people feel comfortable and happy. We’re intuitive and outgoing at the same time.

Research has found that introverts pay more attention to detail and exhibit increased brain activity when processing visual information. A study shows that the brain of an introvert weighs internal cues more strongly than external motivational and reward cues.

[pk-freezer-burnt]

Inktober 2016 Day 7 - I always had this headcanon… Red signs and so does Gold 😎

[kaenith]

Zorua, the Tricky Fox Pokémon.  It changes into the forms of others to surprise them. Apparently, it often transforms into a silent child.

Happy Halloween everyone!

[copperbadge]

This is the purest Pokemon comic ever to exist. 

[jack-the-lion]

Guardian Pokemon for trick-or-treating is my new favorite headcanon about the Pokemon universe.

[shin-holly]

MY HEART

[heathens-and-kings]

I’m gonna be blunt: you bring little worth to a friendship if you’re apathetic toward the good in your friends’ lives. If you shrug when they come to you with little things that they’re happy about, they will eventually stop coming to you with anything and you’ll wonder why that relationship feels stale. Practice genuine excitement with the people in your life. If you see a friend try to downplay how excited they are about something just be like “yoooo! This is a cool thing! You’re a lovely person and you deserve lovely things! I love you!“ 

I think it’s easy to be someone people complain to, but it’s just as if not more important to be someone they know they’re allowed to be excited and proud and happy around.

[relateablyraw]

[falseknees]

I feel like you’re ignoring my question about this leaf

[funimationentertainment]

*grabs own boob not for any sexual reason but just because it is squishy and soft and my boob*

[cwote]

never give up :)

[cassandracalin]

Cheers to my bf for the idea.

[renaroo]

Spider-Women

Black Widow ( Jessica Drew ) | Silk ( Cindy Moon ) | Spider-Girl ( Mayday Parker ) | Spider-Woman ( Jessica Drew ) | Spinneret (Mary Jane Watson ) & Spiderling ( Annie May Parker ) | Spider-Woman ( Gwen Stacy ) | Spider-Girl ( Anya Corazon )

[skottichan-deactivated20240228]

Can we have 1610 Jessica Drew please?

[blackphoenixincorporated]

YES

She seriously needs to come back. If random characters like Bombshell(?) survived the end of the Ultimate line, why not her?

[wellfuckthishellsiteiguess-deac]

Remember when the cartoons you watched were just spin offs of popular movies???

[worldsweirdesttransgirl]

They also had a habit of doing it with movies that were very much not for kids.

[emotiona1shorty]

i cannot fucking believe i never realized this 

[iamsosmart-smrt]

So as a division officer to nearly 60 sailors over 3 years. I asked every single one. “What made you join the Navy?” Here is the breakdown. 80% - To pay for college 10% - To get out of a bad family situation 5% - Family Tradition 5% - Because of 9/11.

[ksniasolo]

[alone-intheshadows-deactivated2]

I HAVE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS GIFSET

#that meat lady was the real national treasure

[cannibal-rainbow]

A New Normal: Ten Things I’ve Learned About Trauma

by Catherine Woodiwiss

1. Trauma permanently changes us.

This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.” You are different now, full stop.

This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and all — with courage.

2.  Presence is always better than distance.

There is a curious illusion that in times of crisis people “need space.” I don’t know where this assumption originated, but in my experience it is almost always false. Trauma is a disfiguring, lonely time even when surrounded in love; to suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. Do not assume others are reaching out, showing up, or covering all the bases.

It is a much lighter burden to say, “Thanks for your love, but please go away,” than to say, “I was hurting and no one cared for me.” If someone says they need space, respect that. Otherwise, err on the side of presence.

3.  Healing is seasonal, not linear.

It is true that healing happens with time. But in the recovery wilderness, emotional healing looks less like a line and more like a wobbly figure-8. It’s perfectly common to get stuck in one stage for months, only to jump to another end entirely … only to find yourself back in the same old mud again next year.

Recovery lasts a long, long time. Expect seasons.

4.  Surviving trauma takes “firefighters” and “builders.” Very few people are both.

This is a tough one. In times of crisis, we want our family, partner, or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma requires at least two types of people: the crisis team — those friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side, and the reconstruction crew — those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience, it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk the road with you the whole way.

A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner, best friend, or family even when they fail at one of these roles. Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions beside you on the journey.

5.  Grieving is social, and so is healing.

For as private a pain as trauma is, for all the healing that time and self-work will bring, we are wired for contact. Just as relationships can hurt us most deeply, it is only through relationship that we can be most fully healed.

It’s not easy to know what this looks like — can I trust casual acquaintances with my hurt? If my family is the source of trauma, can they also be the source of healing? How long until this friend walks away? Does communal prayer help or trivialize?

Seeking out shelter in one another requires tremendous courage, but it is a matter of life or paralysis. One way to start is to practice giving shelter to others.

6.  Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not, do not, do not.

“I’m so sorry you lost your son, we lost our dog last year … ” “At least it’s not as bad as … ” “You’ll be stronger when this is over.” “God works in all things for good!”

When a loved one is suffering, we want to comfort them. We offer assurances like the ones above when we don’t know what else to say. But from the inside, these often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain false.

Trauma is terrible. What we need in the aftermath is a friend who can swallow her own discomfort and fear, sit beside us, and just let it be terrible for a while.

7.  Allow those suffering to tell their own stories.

Of course, someone who has suffered trauma may say, “This made me stronger,” or “I’m lucky it’s only (x) and not (z).” That is their prerogative. There is an enormous gulf between having someone else thrust his unsolicited or misapplied silver linings onto you, and discovering hope for one’s self. The story may ultimately sound very much like “God works in all things for good,” but there will be a galaxy of disfigurement and longing and disorientation in that confession. Give the person struggling through trauma the dignity of discovering and owning for himself where, and if, hope endures.

8.  Love shows up in unexpected ways.

This is a mystifying pattern after trauma, particularly for those in broad community: some near-strangers reach out, some close friends fumble to express care. It’s natural for us to weight expressions of love differently: a Hallmark card, while unsatisfying if received from a dear friend, can be deeply touching coming from an old acquaintance.

Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a step along the way to healing. If there are beatitudes for trauma, I’d say the first is, “Blessed are those who give love to anyone in times of hurt, regardless of how recently they’ve talked or awkwardly reconnected or visited cross-country or ignored each other on the metro.” It may not look like what you’d request or expect, but there will be days when surprise love will be the sweetest.

9.  Whatever doesn’t kill you …

In 2011, after a publically humiliating year, comedian Conan O’Brien gave students at Dartmouth College the following warning:

“Nietzsche famously said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ … What he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.” Odd things show up after a serious loss and creep into every corner of life: insatiable anxiety in places that used to bring you joy, detachment or frustration towards your closest companions, a deep distrust of love or presence or vulnerability.

There will be days when you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell of yourself, when despair yawns as a terrible chasm, when fear paralyzes any chance for pleasure. This is just a fight that has to be won, over and over and over again.

10.  … Doesn’t kill you.

Living through trauma may teach you resilience. It may help sustain you and others in times of crisis down the road. It may prompt humility. It may make for deeper seasons of joy. It may even make you stronger.

It also may not.

In the end, the hope of life after trauma is simply that you have life after trauma. The days, in their weird and varied richness, go on. So will you.

[bizarre-bazart]

[mmilhouse]

do you love the colour of the sky

[sundayroasts]

this is much better than the original.