well well well

I think I'm somewhere else

[lilunas-stuff]

I genuinely hate the world I live in and how it works and I just want to do anything to escape. Fuck.

[lilunas-stuff]

6/2/2020 5:22pm

The world outside terrifies me. I'm very scared of the world we live in. And there's nothing I can do about it and all I want is to cry and sleep and I can't even do that.

[lilunas-stuff]

I don't believe anyone in the world should be a trillionaire under literally any circumstances or conditions

[lilunas-stuff]

5/8/2020

Working on a new piece. Fan art piece of iilluminaughtii. Long ways to go.

[lilunas-stuff]

HAPPY NATIONAL ALIEN DAY FROM NORBERT AND I.

(4/26/2020)

[lilunas-stuff]

2/8/2020 10:24 pm

Gonna do mushrooms tonight. 2.1g. I may or may not update this depending on how I feel at the time. Gonna take them on peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches.

[lilunas-stuff]

1/25/2020 11:34pm

I swear to god. Whoever built me as a character just dumped like. All of the points into charisma and luck. I live such an absurd existence.

[lilunas-stuff]

La Fin

Absolue

Du Monde

[lilunas-stuff]

1/20/2020 1:59am

I am very very very high and I've had a very interesting and admittedly dangerous and not well thought out day. And right now I think I've over thought my way into realizing this weird little relationship with my cat. So sometimes he will come up to me, headbutt my hand gently, lay down and turn into a shrimp until I pet him VERY gently on his head and shoulders. Then he closes his eyes, starts making dough, purrs and drools. After awhile he will get up and walk away, quick bathe, and come back more aggressive. Pet him rougher and he will move to where he is close to something, preferably glass or a fluffy like plush blanket, sometimes the carpet will suffice, to either lick or nurse on REALLY AGGRESSIVELY and make some big doughs with his baking hands, and then it just kinda stops and he instantly just isn't into it anymore. He will get up, avoid eye contact, do a full bathe, and just generally stay away for a while. And high me is over thinking this and I'm wondering is this some sort of weird bonding like.. almost seemingly sexual in the way it follows a foreplay, get dressed up, sex, climax, shamefully clean up and avoid the slut. And I'm almost uncomfortable with thinking about that now. So. You're welcome to anyone to reads this.

[lilunas-stuff]

1/1/2020 6am

So this one time I went to a friends house to have a threesome with him and his girlfriend. He had had a crush on me when we were younger, he's cute and she is just gorgeous. I got all dressed up and got there and instead of having sex, we got high and watched Rubber, and then like a week later they had a very public Facebook meltdown about their relationship because she had actually fallen in love with his best friend for the last like year or whatever and now her and the new guy are in a pretty popular local band together. She sings and he plays drums. First boy does art.

[lilunas-stuff]

Nye 2019

So. I have a niece.

Let's call her M. M Is 12. She lives in a very overbearing and religious family. She confides things with me that no one else in the family knows. Tonight she's at a friends and goes to film them but accidentally starts an instagram live video. She's talking and messing around and some of the kids are talking about drinking (not her. She's clean). And she looks down at her phone and goes "OH NO THERES TWO PEOPLE IN HERE. END END END END" and I'm fucking cackling. She's so precious.

[lilunas-stuff]

Probably one of the strangest things I ever masturbated to was the jfk assassination video. I was a teenager at my sisters and she let me use the computer in the basement at night and I was watching the video on repeat and just went to town. Looking back on it, I have absolutely no fucking idea why I did that.

[lilunas-stuff]

12/22/19 - 7:35pm

Home and showered and relaxing. This is how I spent the last 3 days.

Got picked up by the band Riverrats and drove to the Wisco in madison. Played with Toybox, who ive played with before but dont remember because i was blacked out on pills, and Nate And The Abuse, who was supposed to hook me up with coke but ended up taking it all. Toybox banged in the bathroom during my set. Went back to eileens and taught her 4 person cribbage and hung out with her disabled cat that couldn't walk very well. Her name was UV. We woke up and walked to the lake and Kieran and bozena got yelled at for trying to swim. Some guy threatened to call the cops on them for breaking some ice. We fit all 5 of us, all the instruments, and our bags in the pickup and drove to Milwaukee where we arrived at the house we played called Jesus Camp. The owners are the members of Tiny Hands and Ratbath. Like 40 queers and crazy dressed freaks and sluts showed up, Fred made spaghetti for everyone. The show was INCREDIBLE. I had the most people and the whole house sang with me, I had 3 spoons players, and the drum machine player for a band called Ball Stomper had bracelets that they played as tambourines, and I sold 2 cds. They also had a rat and a dog at Jesus camp. The rats name was rathew and he had a bath and he fell asleep on me. The dogs name was Prince Bear. Ratbath and Deep Femme fucking killed it. Charlotte from deep Femme gave me a tattoo. We went to get food at 1am. 3 people got soup. Fred stole all their oyster crackers and ate them with water, lemon juice, coffee, jam, and syrup, tried to get nick to feed them potting soil, and then got the coleslaw and syrup taken away for trying to mix that. We crashed at the house. Met the rest of the members of the all Trans band called Ball Stomper. Drove to the river, Kieran and bozena went in the water and I sat on a broken tree over the water getting high and playing with crunchy ice. We drove 5 hours back to ec. Listened to a lot of beyonce.

[lilunas-stuff]

12/21/19 2:14am

Tonight has been.. an experience. I got picked up by the Riverrats on the way to Madison for a show. Got to the show, talked to a guy. Was sposed to get acid, didnt. got offered coke by guy. He ended up doing it all. Got some weed. My high end vocals were gone and I sounded like trash. The opening band, ToyBox, banged in the bathroom during my set and told me they did it because they thought id appreciate it. Got back to the apartment we are crashing at tonight and got made tea. Now we are teaching the apartment owner how to play 4 way cribbage and I'm petting a beautiful cat with a neurological disorder making it not walk very well. Its. It's been an interesting day.

[lilunas-stuff]

12/18/19 1:11pm

Laying on the couch kind of excited for Friday. I'm getting picked up by the Riverrats on the way to Madison for a show. A friend I haven't talked to in a long time messaged me and she's bringing me some acid and I'm really excited about it tbh. I'm thinking about taking the tab and splitting it up over 4 doses or so and just take the next couple days to do art and focus on drawing. Also when I go back to Minneapolis I get to do some mushrooms too

[lilunas-stuff]

I stg I'm not going to get old.

[lilunas-stuff]

12/7/19 8:08pm

The best part of cleaning a room you haven't spent any time in in 2 years? The memories that make you want to die. All the little things you've collected over the years. That shirt. Poster. Drawing. Hand written letter from someone that loved you. Makes me feel awful. I don't want to do this anymore.