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two Ghosts one Shell🤖 | Snegovski🐍

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

filmnoirsbian

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

filmnoirsbian

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

this-is-a-name-dont-worry

gshsjb

parkchanwoohoo

The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me

gunsandfireandshit

This is painfully American

dirtbaby2016

Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem

unstablebill

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

balaclava-trismegistus

if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.

charlesoberonn

OP I hope you know this is literally a plot point in Homestuck.

kazuliski

The Ghost in the Shell - Motoko Kusanagi - Official Illustration: Ilya Kuvshinov - Kazuliski

depsidase

systlin

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

systlin

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

systlin

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.