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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@liniahamster
“Café de hum 3” by Epoch
everyday i lose a reason to keep living
Hi
i wish i could give her the world and more. she deserves everything good in life, she's the sweetest person i've ever met
i wish id die for making things so difficult, i know i'm a big part of her life too yet all i do is cause issues. i just want to be normal enough to make her happy. i hate the way i am
i distanced myself from her for a whole week
i felt a lot better, not because her presence is bad or anything but. i guess me not being there to ruin things further gave my brain a bit of a break
hows it possible for me to be too much yet not enough for you
it feels like my life was over before it even began
i just can't manage to think of anything at all
i'm stupid because of this void i've felt in my brain ever since i was 9 years old
i've never had a lowest point in my life. my life has been the lowest it's always been
im failing every single class what do i DOOOO
Go to therapy
i prefer to wallow in self pity
its not like i don't want to tell you what's wrong. it's all just wrong. how do i explain to you that everything is always wrong
"things would be better if i was alone" -> i can get worse if i'm alone
i really do love and care for her but these stupid disgusting feelings of mine would never do any good. i don't Want to make her sad but what can i do besides leave ?? its not like i want to leave her. she's really the best person ever but ive just ruined absolutely everything. i hope i die in my sleep so i don't have to feel guilty for this