Tease me

29 years old woman If you want to know... ask, some of the content of this blog is añ NSFW and +18 if your working.. Go and do your JOB!!! if you are younger than 18 get the fuck out of here!!! Please have a nice day!!!!

[whenanangelfalls]

[semiotomatics]

there’s something about the sight of steps leading down into the water. it feels like the ocean telling me to come home

[that-catholic-shinobi]

That means you’re a selkie love

[patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea]

Mermaids, sirens, and selkies only reblog. Land lubbers GTFO

[mythgenderedloki]

Friendly reminder that one of the changes to asgard loki made as king was to put barriers on the bifrost…

I’m not saying he was scared of falling again but…

HE WAS SCARED OF FALLING AGAIN

[ao3feed-thorki]

I need a little drabble about this. Side note: This puts into context just how shaken and pissed Loki was when Dr. Strange let him freefall for 30 minutes. Enough to want to cut a bitch!

[kc-anathema]

Evil brother steals the throne…

First acts are to install safety barriers on dangerous bridge and encourage community theater.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Thor: I have returned to put an end to this evil regime of improved health and safety

[wholock13]

Peter B. Parker: Alright, good. Thanks, son.

Peter: Why is everyone staring at me. 

Gwen Stacy: You just called Miles son. You said “Thanks Son”.

Peter: What no I didn’t. I said “Thanks Man”

Miles Morales: Do you see me as an offspring figure, Peter?

Peter: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure, ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Peter Porker: Hey! Show your son some respect!

[kingbrunnhilde]

look, i know we all want spin-offs for each spider-person from spider-man: into the spider-verse, but lemme propose this instead to you: a spider-ham animated tv series. like a looney toons style superhero show that deals with peter porker, the daily bugle photographer, and his secret identity as the crime-fighting spider-ham. it would, of course, feature spider-man’s side characters and rouges gallery all as farm animals or the like. it could also be a way for sony to test out new spider-people before introducing them into any upcoming films. and!!! it would be a wacky yet hilarious series for kids, their parents, comic book fans, and john mulaney stans alike ..thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[ineffectualdemon]

“Babies only cry if they are hungry, need changing, or need to be picked up”

Lies

Babies (and small children) also cry for reasons such as:

1. “I am tired and that makes me angry”

2. “I scared myself with a fart”

3. “You are the wrong parent”

4. “I ran into something with my face”

5. “I’m facing the opposite direction then the one I want to”

6. “I fell asleep in one place and woke up somewhere completely different”

7. “I am a very small person in a very big world”

8. “I got scared because YOU farted”

Babies have more then 3 states of being and sometimes you just have to hold them and bounce them gently while saying solemnly “yes it is very hard to be a baby” because frankly it is

[aconfusedbird]

you have to remember that when you’re that tiny… pretty much any bad thing that happens to you is LITERALLY the WORST thing that has ever happened in your life. they have no perspective. everything is awful. help them

[let-tyrants-fear]

#everything is happening for the first time and they cant even google it  

[setheverman]

what is the january mood?

[whirlybirbs]

[fixedyourmeme]

[tapehissorchid]

when the whole squad’s flourishing

[thebootydiaries]

h-hey😣 sowwy im newvous 😣😣 you’w so cute 😓😓 fwickkkkkk

[omglitters]

i cant believe i am alive to see the worst thing thebootydiaries ever wrote

[osterfields-deactivated20181007]

me: i don’t think t’challa should have to put up with any of the avengers, he seems so above their petty drama

me: except thor. i want t’challa to become best friends with thor.

[osterfields-deactivated20181007]

the avengers: we know you were there but did you ever actually hear the full story of what happened between steve rogers and tony stark, it’s very –

t’challa: can you please shut the fuck up

thor: wanna hear about the time my brother turned into a snake and stabbed me?

t’challa: of course baby

[thecyndimistuff]

t’challa: oh btw did you ever meet the Dora Milaje, they’re our all-female warriors dedicated to protecting the throne and the kingdom.

thor, on the edge of an excitement breakdown: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[whutotthewhut]

t’challa: *watching the most recent upload Shuri posted of him being done over by her latest creation* my sister may be the death of me yet.

thor: *eyes glaze over* let me tell you about the fourth time my brother turned into a snake and stabbed me.

t’challa: my friend, I feel that you should stop picking up snakes.

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

But Thor loves snakes

[ifuckbuildings]

But

[the-real-eye-to-see]

We know she’s just mad cause they have more melanin than she’s used to seeing

[crimeshetyped]

Lol I used to work at target and know for a fact that that’s literally one aisle sandwiched between several containing several an array of bland white dolls why would you fake a struggle like this?? It’s so flawed 😩😂

[dynastylnoire]

^^^^^^^

[pinkcheesegreenghost-deactivate]

White girls are so pathetic

[dollsahoy]

And…there’s absolutely no reason she couldn’t’ve bought one of those for her cousin, anyway? (I mean, no reason beyond “that cousin is probably being raised just like her and would do terrible things to the doll”)

[scribble-wizard]

i found this post on facebook this morning and went to My Generation to tally their dolls by skin color just to see how absolutely out of proportion the OP was blowing things. they have 106 dolls total on target’s website. 87 of these dolls are white. 46 of those white dolls are blonde. counting all their total dolls of color, you get 19 (and that’s being generous and tallying any exceptionally tan ones). only one of these dolls resembles someone east asian. so yeah, this lady only found 8 dolls (two of which are from seperate brands) and she’s still steamed when the brand she was looking at has 87 white dolls for her racist ass to choose from.

[kick-neckbeard-ass]

It got better!

[pinkcheesegreenghost-deactivate]

“I’m only 19…”

91% said NO redemption for you

[jolly-ob-saint-nixilis]

[timesalad]

This post went in 200 different directions

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

I’ve got whiplash. Also fucking BuzzFeed was the one who called it out? What reality is this?

[queenrinacat]

Buzzfeed actually frequently breaks stories. Buzzfeed News is legit investigative journalism funded by the rest of Buzzfeed.

[honey-wine-and-time]

BuzzFeed News has been one of the best investigators of online misinformation.

[djkoenig-deactivated20140905]

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

[chronically-ill-dandy]

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

[kahguyaht]

i found it

the original post

i found it

[eviesrealitychangesdaily-deacti]

this should have the opportunity to be on everyone’s blog. 

[allons-ynumberten-deactivated20]

*tour guide voice*

and here on the left ladies and gentlemen, you see one of the posts before everyone went batshit crazy

[suntortoise]

this post is so old that everyone that posted is deactivated jsjsjdjrkrnr

[skreamingninja]

[autohaste]

If depression was a musical

[capacity]

This is a bop

[ghostbustinggays]

ok this keeps coming on my dash and every time the notes are filled with people being like WHAT IS THIS so i am HERE TO ENLIGHTEN YOU, FRIENDS

this is from the musical Firebringer which is free to watch on Youtube. it’s by Team StarKid of A Very Potter Musical fame (think you recognize the girl singing? that’s Lauren Lopez, also known as the funniest Draco Malfoy the world has ever seen)

anyway, Firebringer is a female-driven, hilarious musical about bisexual cavewomen and you are going to want to watch it. trust me.

WATCH FIREBRINGER!

[bookwyrm-in-space]

Our entire office sings this at least once a week.

[weddingriot]

[disneytva]

This heart-warming Disneyland Paris spot features a sweet CG duck who simply adores Donald Duck. It’s the perfect cure for post-Christmas blues!!!

[hashtagloveloses]

i can’t believe disney has me crying about a goddamn duck

[storm3326]

toddler luke says hi to everyone he meets

[suite-dee-reynolds]

I love one man.