★
JVL
Kiana Khansmith
Today's Document
Claire Keane
Stranger Things
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Keni
pixel skylines
noise dept.
we're not kids anymore.
Not today Justin
RMH
Misplaced Lens Cap
will byers stan first human second
YOU ARE THE REASON
wallacepolsom
Show & Tell
JBB: An Artblog!
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from South Korea
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Kazakhstan
seen from Netherlands
seen from Germany
@literallyabanana
I doubt anyone cares but I’ve had it with radblr once and for all. I’ve already halfway transitioned to a blog that just posts about my interests but I honestly think I’m just going to start over. I never technically activated this blog so I don’t think I can deactivate. But if I sign out of the app I’ll never be able to sign back in. So basically this blog will be here but there will be zero activity.
Good bye and good riddance.
Okay so genuine question here for lesbian radfems:
When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.
But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.
Please only respond if you are exclusively attracted to women. Fellow bi ladies I love you but sit this question out please!
If you honestly think that approach would work you have a complete misunderstanding of the lesbian experience. Calling yourself a lesbian won't deter men from hitting on you. In fact, in my own personal experience, they hit on you more afterwards. This is usually due to the fact that we are a highly fetishized sexuality.
Honestly though, would you even consider doing this with any other minority group? Would claim to be disabled to get out of a task at work for example? Like, I can't see how you thought it would be at all appropriate to claim a label that your opposite sex attraction negates. Especially since you can very obviously see one of the detrimental effects on lesbians that this claim could have. Whether you're theyre your friends or not you do not exist in a bubble and your opposite sex attraction is observable to anyone who sees you in public. Regardless, you're lying about being a minority you are not. Anything you say while claiming to be a lesbian represents us an inaccurate light.
Just say that you don't date men. If they're not going to respect your no they won't respect it regardless of if it's an innate no or a choice of yours. Your position on this kind of insinuates that you think lesbians aren't sexually harassed by men or that men even respect lesbians lack of attraction to them. We live in a misogynistic and a homophobic society, of course they don't.
I'm really not trying to be mean, I just don't see how you could have come to the conclusion that that was even close to a good idea. Even if half of all lesbians told you it was okay to lie and misrepresent yourself as us, you are opposite sex attracted and therefore have societal power over us, and an oppressor identifying as the class they help oppress for their own self-serving gains is so very wrong. Why would you ever even consider doing this knowing that you could have any kind of negative consequences on even a single solitary lesbian? Can you not see how that would be cruel, no matter how much it benefits you personally?
^^^ exactly.
Honestly why the shenanigans? Saying you're a lesbian isn't a magic "oh can't sexually harass her" spell (I fucking WISH it was), you'd get the same harassment regardless with an added bonus of misaimed-lesbophobia. Since they're not going to know your personal life easiest way to avoid creeps BY FAR is to say you have a boyfriend or start wearing a ring, they respect another man's """"claim of ownership"""" of you more than anything else you could say.
I’ve already agreed elsewhere not to do it but I don’t appreciate the assumption I think claiming to be gay is some kind of magic spell. In my early 20s when I tried everything I could think of to get men to leave me alone “I’m gay”worked best. For me. It doesn’t matter though because I already said I wasn’t going to do it and so the nasty aspersions on my intent and character are unnecessary and unhelpful.
This post is not “asking permission” to say the “only magic words that worked”. It worked slightly better than some other things and it’s effectiveness isn’t even something I planned to bring up until a bunch of people called me a delusional bigot for daring to even bring it up.
It was a post I foolishly thought might give me some guidance on how to navigate a tricky social situation. I’m not sure why I keep sticking my hand back on the stove thinking surely this time I won’t be burned. Why do I bother to talk to you people? I could make a post about how it’s raining rn and someone would twist it.
“Why do I bother to talk to you people? I could make a post about how it’s raining rn and someone would twist it.” Really? Quit the victim complex. Most lesbians are never going to react well when an out bisexual woman asks if she can call herself lesbian. The fact that you’re surprised here makes me wonder how connected you really are to lesbians or even other bisexual people in real life. Are you part of a gay/lesbian/bi community group on a weekly basis? Probably not, huh? The reality is that you got much kinder responses here than I bet you’d get in real life, and for good reason. You literally made yourself sound like a troll and it was generous of them to even responsd to you. Also for the fucking record… Many men hear lesbian and either hear that we are available to men still OR that we’re not and that would be a fun challenge. Your post showed a misunderstanding of not only lesbian/gay experiences but also of how men are…
This is exactly what I’m talking about. You made the INSANE leap that not only do I have zero connection to other LGB people irl but that I also don’t understand men.
I’ve now responded about 100x that when I panic blurted excuses in my younger days “I’m gay” worked slightly better than other responses. So enough with “men just get worse”. I’m sure some do. That wasn’t my personal experience 15 years ago. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s changed and gendie shit has made men bolder. Acting like I’m a delusional moron for having a different experience is beyond shitty.
I’m not an “out” bisexual. I’m only out in my real life to two people. Surprise! Tumblr isn’t real life!
I guarantee I have more LGB friends than you do and that the lesbians I know aren’t super political and would say they don’t GAF and that would be to a woman they believe to be hetero. I didn’t ask them because for some reason I thought the opinion of more politically minded ‘feminists’ would be valuable. Never again.
I’m not asking to identify as a lesbian, only how harmful it would be to say it to people I have zero relationship with. And I cheerfully accepted “please don’t” from the two people that didn’t act like I was the second coming of Hitler for asking.
Okay so genuine question here for lesbian radfems:
When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.
But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.
Please only respond if you are exclusively attracted to women. Fellow bi ladies I love you but sit this question out please!
If you honestly think that approach would work you have a complete misunderstanding of the lesbian experience. Calling yourself a lesbian won't deter men from hitting on you. In fact, in my own personal experience, they hit on you more afterwards. This is usually due to the fact that we are a highly fetishized sexuality.
Honestly though, would you even consider doing this with any other minority group? Would claim to be disabled to get out of a task at work for example? Like, I can't see how you thought it would be at all appropriate to claim a label that your opposite sex attraction negates. Especially since you can very obviously see one of the detrimental effects on lesbians that this claim could have. Whether you're theyre your friends or not you do not exist in a bubble and your opposite sex attraction is observable to anyone who sees you in public. Regardless, you're lying about being a minority you are not. Anything you say while claiming to be a lesbian represents us an inaccurate light.
Just say that you don't date men. If they're not going to respect your no they won't respect it regardless of if it's an innate no or a choice of yours. Your position on this kind of insinuates that you think lesbians aren't sexually harassed by men or that men even respect lesbians lack of attraction to them. We live in a misogynistic and a homophobic society, of course they don't.
I'm really not trying to be mean, I just don't see how you could have come to the conclusion that that was even close to a good idea. Even if half of all lesbians told you it was okay to lie and misrepresent yourself as us, you are opposite sex attracted and therefore have societal power over us, and an oppressor identifying as the class they help oppress for their own self-serving gains is so very wrong. Why would you ever even consider doing this knowing that you could have any kind of negative consequences on even a single solitary lesbian? Can you not see how that would be cruel, no matter how much it benefits you personally?
^^^ exactly.
Honestly why the shenanigans? Saying you're a lesbian isn't a magic "oh can't sexually harass her" spell (I fucking WISH it was), you'd get the same harassment regardless with an added bonus of misaimed-lesbophobia. Since they're not going to know your personal life easiest way to avoid creeps BY FAR is to say you have a boyfriend or start wearing a ring, they respect another man's """"claim of ownership"""" of you more than anything else you could say.
I’ve already agreed elsewhere not to do it but I don’t appreciate the assumption I think claiming to be gay is some kind of magic spell. In my early 20s when I tried everything I could think of to get men to leave me alone “I’m gay”worked best. For me. It doesn’t matter though because I already said I wasn’t going to do it and so the nasty aspersions on my intent and character are unnecessary and unhelpful.
This post is not “asking permission” to say the “only magic words that worked”. It worked slightly better than some other things and it’s effectiveness isn’t even something I planned to bring up until a bunch of people called me a delusional bigot for daring to even bring it up.
It was a post I foolishly thought might give me some guidance on how to navigate a tricky social situation. I’m not sure why I keep sticking my hand back on the stove thinking surely this time I won’t be burned. Why do I bother to talk to you people? I could make a post about how it’s raining rn and someone would twist it.
What word do you use to describe your mother
Mom
Mum
Mam
Ma
Other
Want to see answers
Mama
Okay so genuine question here for lesbian radfems:
When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.
But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.
Please only respond if you are exclusively attracted to women. Fellow bi ladies I love you but sit this question out please!
You are not a lesbian so do not call yourself one. If you seriously think a man will respect “I’m a lesbian” more than simply saying “I don’t date men” you’re really deluded about the amount of respect men have for lesbians.
15 years ago it worked pretty well. I’m not asking about effectiveness I was asking if doing so would be harmful. Calling me delusional was unnecessary and uncalled for.
I think you must have known on some level that it was harmful or you wouldn’t have made this post. Which left me to think that while you did know it was harmful, you didn’t realize how it also was entirely ineffective at making men not hit on you (hence me saying you’re deluded about it - not that you’re delusional in general, but that you clearly have no concept about this subject in particular.)
If you want to know if it’s harmful: yes, this behavior hurts lesbians. your bio says you’re a proud bisexual, you should act like it and not even be considering calling yourself something you know you’re not.
I did think so. Back in the day I panic blurted most of my excuses. I wanted to know how harmful it would be now that I’m aware of the harm it could cause. I’d already agreed that it would cause harm Cheerfully with the people that didn’t go out of their way to be insulting.
And the snide remark on my bio saying “proud bisexual” is equally unnecessary.
Someday I’ll make a post and 10 different people won’t go out of their way to interpret it in the worst way possible and then extrapolate my entire personality and worldview from it.
Someday…
Okay so genuine question here for lesbian radfems:
When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.
But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.
Please only respond if you are exclusively attracted to women. Fellow bi ladies I love you but sit this question out please!
You are not a lesbian so do not call yourself one. If you seriously think a man will respect “I’m a lesbian” more than simply saying “I don’t date men” you’re really deluded about the amount of respect men have for lesbians.
15 years ago it worked pretty well. I’m not asking about effectiveness I was asking if doing so would be harmful. Calling me delusional was unnecessary and uncalled for.
Okay so genuine question here for lesbian radfems:
When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.
But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.
Please only respond if you are exclusively attracted to women. Fellow bi ladies I love you but sit this question out please!
If you honestly think that approach would work you have a complete misunderstanding of the lesbian experience. Calling yourself a lesbian won't deter men from hitting on you. In fact, in my own personal experience, they hit on you more afterwards. This is usually due to the fact that we are a highly fetishized sexuality.
Honestly though, would you even consider doing this with any other minority group? Would claim to be disabled to get out of a task at work for example? Like, I can't see how you thought it would be at all appropriate to claim a label that your opposite sex attraction negates. Especially since you can very obviously see one of the detrimental effects on lesbians that this claim could have. Whether you're theyre your friends or not you do not exist in a bubble and your opposite sex attraction is observable to anyone who sees you in public. Regardless, you're lying about being a minority you are not. Anything you say while claiming to be a lesbian represents us an inaccurate light.
Just say that you don't date men. If they're not going to respect your no they won't respect it regardless of if it's an innate no or a choice of yours. Your position on this kind of insinuates that you think lesbians aren't sexually harassed by men or that men even respect lesbians lack of attraction to them. We live in a misogynistic and a homophobic society, of course they don't.
I'm really not trying to be mean, I just don't see how you could have come to the conclusion that that was even close to a good idea. Even if half of all lesbians told you it was okay to lie and misrepresent yourself as us, you are opposite sex attracted and therefore have societal power over us, and an oppressor identifying as the class they help oppress for their own self-serving gains is so very wrong. Why would you ever even consider doing this knowing that you could have any kind of negative consequences on even a single solitary lesbian? Can you not see how that would be cruel, no matter how much it benefits you personally?
^^^ exactly.
Honestly why the shenanigans? Saying you're a lesbian isn't a magic "oh can't sexually harass her" spell (I fucking WISH it was), you'd get the same harassment regardless with an added bonus of misaimed-lesbophobia. Since they're not going to know your personal life easiest way to avoid creeps BY FAR is to say you have a boyfriend or start wearing a ring, they respect another man's """"claim of ownership"""" of you more than anything else you could say.
I’ve already agreed elsewhere not to do it but I don’t appreciate the assumption I think claiming to be gay is some kind of magic spell. In my early 20s when I tried everything I could think of to get men to leave me alone “I’m gay”worked best. For me. It doesn’t matter though because I already said I wasn’t going to do it and so the nasty aspersions on my intent and character are unnecessary and unhelpful.
Okay so genuine question here for lesbian radfems:
When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.
But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.
Please only respond if you are exclusively attracted to women. Fellow bi ladies I love you but sit this question out please!
If you honestly think that approach would work you have a complete misunderstanding of the lesbian experience. Calling yourself a lesbian won't deter men from hitting on you. In fact, in my own personal experience, they hit on you more afterwards. This is usually due to the fact that we are a highly fetishized sexuality.
Honestly though, would you even consider doing this with any other minority group? Would claim to be disabled to get out of a task at work for example? Like, I can't see how you thought it would be at all appropriate to claim a label that your opposite sex attraction negates. Especially since you can very obviously see one of the detrimental effects on lesbians that this claim could have. Whether you're their your friends or not you do not exist in a bubble and your opposite sex attraction is observable to anyone who sees you in public. Regardless, you're lying about being a minority you are not. Anything you say while claiming to be a lesbian represents us an inaccurate light.
Just say that you don't date men. If they're not going to respect your no they won't respect it regardless of if it's an innate no or a choice of yours. Your position on this kind of insinuates that you think lesbians aren't sexually harassed by men or that men even respect lesbians lack of attraction to them. We live in a misogynistic and a homophobic society, of course they don't.
I'm really not trying to be mean, I just don't see how you could have come to the conclusion that that was even close to a good idea. Even if half of all lesbians told you it was okay to lie and misrepresent yourself as us, you are opposite sex attracted and therefore have societal power over us, and an oppressor identifying as the class they help oppress for their own self-serving gains is so very wrong. Why would you ever even consider doing this knowing that you could have any kind of negative consequences on even a single solitary lesbian? Can you not see how that would be cruel, no matter how much it benefits you personally?
I asked precisely because I’m aware it can cause harm. The entire purpose of this was because the idea made me uncomfortable without asking the people it would be affecting! You clearly decided to think the worst of me right off the bat though.
I never for one second thought or said lesbians don’t get sexually harassed or hit on by men wtf? Why would you think that, especially after all my previous responses to this have all been “yeah you’re probably right I won’t do it”. The reason it even crossed my mind is because in my younger days when I had to fend off a lot of aggressive men in my sales job, they did respond best to “I’m gay”. Obviously some persisted but most made shitty remarks like “damn what a waste” and walked away. I’ll grant you that was 15 years ago and I think men have gotten worse not better but that’s why I asked. Not because I think it’s a magic spell. At the time it didn’t occur to me it could harm lesbians. Now I ask and happily accepted the fact most people have said “please don’t”. There is zero reason for you to be so nasty about it and make a bunch of assumptions about me.
I’m also not thrilled with your assertion that my OSA will be “observable in public.” No part of my sexuality will be observable, ideally. What I’m really hoping for is men not to talk to me about non work related things at all. Do you think I can’t go 10 minutes without talking about loving cock? Do you think that a heterosexual relationship is inevitable for me or something? Because that’s fucked up.
I haven't paid much attention to it during my previous playthroughs because I was already overwhelmed with all the mass murders, power abuses and hate crimes happening in the game but oh boy. the templar order in kirkwall is even more messed up than it seems because despite all the big words about "noble cause" and "protecting the people" no templar genuinely believes or cares about that. among the ones in charge at least.
the thing is, one of the main motivations for hawke and carver (or hawke and bethany but mage hawke's case gets more hilarious in the following acts) to join the deep roads expedition is to escape the templars. they aren't planning to move in the deep roads until meredith resigns or something, they need to get money to escape the templars. to bribe them. and this is actually what happens in act 2! hawke is rich af and nobody bats an eye there is a mage living in hightown and breaking chantry laws whenever they want! they can approach cullen to show him alrik's documents and he immediately suspects they're the one who killed alrik but then proceeds to do nothing. they can spit in elthina's face by calling her useless and still. she does nothing.
it gets better and better in act 3. hawke is a champion and them being a mage is practically a common knowledge. and not just a mage, but a very skilled and dangerous one. also their friends are a possessed apostate and a dalish blood mage. these three are literally the type of people templars are obligated to capture asap. it's like, red alert levels of danger. yeah, meredith can blackmail hawke if they try to turn her down, but she still let them walk freely while they do some favors for her. she acknowledges this. she sees hawke as a threat, but won't touch them as long as they're useful. oh, but where did the "we must protect the city from mages! we must protect the mages from themselves!" bravado go?
templars won't lay a finger on hawke because everyone in the city, the nobles as well, will be mad if someone threatens their favourite friendly amell neighbour and then their champion. if someone threatens champion's friends the champion will be mad too.
kirkwall templars have a reputation of being strict and distrustful but capable, when in fact they beat frightened kids up and make them tranquil for exchanging love letters but if someone who can actually fight back shows up they will shit their pants. even the most dangerous and self-righteous ones.
does meredith believe that she is doing the right thing? I guess so. will she make an exception for extremely powerful uncontrolled mages because otherwise they will endanger her position and become an obstacle to her seizure of power? oh sure she will.
it's not a game conventionality though. if it was one we would get another inquisition where you simply can't be unhinged or say or do stupid reckless shit because it would put the whole organization in a very unpleasant position. inquisition just doesn't give you that option because it had no intention to elaborate on it. meanwhile in da2 all these topics are addressed: hawke can be rude to people in power, they can be openly pro-mage and other characters acknowledge that as well as their class and it makes sense. that's just a templar hypocrisy at it's finest for you.
love how now every male who doesn't do shit in terms of household chores must have adhd. you know ..... it's not an excuse and a rebranded type of weaponized incompetence ..... no no, poor things they all have adhd apparently. suddenly they "forget" to take out the trash and wash the dishes after being told so by their gfs/wives/mothers while they sit on their asses gaming and jerking off all day
adhd for men is like bpd for women, they probably don't have it but nobody wants to figure out the real problem, the only difference is that males who supposedly have adhd are coddled and excused for their bad behavior while women diagnosed with bpd are demonized and viewed as manipulative liars
it’s so wild to me that people are still making the argument that ‘men can’t express their emotions but women can’ like women aren’t called karens for the audacity of slightly raising their voices in public
"You wearing a collar in public is bad cuz I didn't consent" you wearing a bracelet in public is bad cuz I didn't consent to it.
Yall don't really have a right to consent to other peoples clothes.
Replace collar with mask / burqa / hijab and maybe realize how inappropriate it is to think you have any authority over another person’s attire simply for sharing global coordinates with you.
that’s not even remotely the same thing and you deserve to rot for even attempting to make the comparison between methods of female oppression like the burqa or hijab and comparing it to a person with a kink wearing a fucking collar in public like a leashed dog
The bracelet doesn’t loudly announce the details of your sex life to unwilling strangers
Hijab/burqa don’t loudly announce the details of your sex life to unwilling strangers
What the fuck is wrong with you freaks? Keep your sex life at home!
I mean a collar doesn't loudly announce your sex life either.
You ever heard of chokers?
But anyway shut the fuck up you dork lmao
Thanks to people like you loudly announcing your sex lives at every opportunity, chokers no longer have a neutral social meaning. Stop being freaks and trying to pin it on LGB people that just want to live our lives. 65% of you are heterosexual TQs that call us slurs and are dragging back our rights by insisting it should be okay to walk your partner around on a leash in public.
Masculine women who seek approval and validation from men are actually extremely feminine.
If you want to be included in the male camaraderie around you, that's feminine. Wanting to laugh along with the guys is feminine behavior. If you try to impress a man with your knowledge of cars and football, you're being feminine. If you're waiting for a man to compliment your outfit and say "great suit" you're being extremely feminine. If you have male mentors that you admire, that's peak femininity.
Real female gender nonconformity has nothing to do with men at all.
If you only want to date women that your male friends will find hot, you have a serious problem.
If you only want to date women that will make men envy you, you're the worst kind of pickme.
It doesn't matter how you dress. You're living with 18 layers of compounding femininity.
who is....actually doing this tho lmao. like even assuming this is a real problem #real gender non confoming women face somehow, what do we gain from accusing women who for all we know might get derided for existing as noticeably gnc women even if theyre doing it for the "wrong reasons" (which youre now saying is Ackshually feminine?)
even if they succeed in getting male attention by being masc (lol, lmao even, this does not happen), i thought wed agreed male attention is bottom of the barrel and not exactly positive for women in general. also, i dont know how to explain you this, but men are usually not eager to give masculine women any kind of positive attention, even if were eager and enthusiastic to befriend them. the situation youre describing feels completely made up man. whats the point of this post?
I'm sorry this post rattled you. But socialization isn't just skin deep. Socialization goes beyond clothing.
Women are socialized to actively seek out male validation. And most women have not broken out of that socialization. Seeking male validation, approval, and permission is gender conforming behavior. Imitating the way a male mentor speaks and acts is a way of seeking male validation. Competing with men is a way of seeking male validation. Of course women rarely receive male validation. But the act of seeking it out is gender conforming.
If you're not looking for male validation, this post isn't about you. But not everyone in the world is exactly like you. Just because you don't relate to something, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
It's not a moral failure to be gender conforming. It's not a moral failure to still be working through your female socialization. It is an extremely normal and common experience that all women go through at their own pace.
But we can't keep acting like wearing men's clothes automatically makes you 100% gender nonconforming. That idea is actually holding women back. It's dangerous to think you've escaped the socialization labyrinth when you actually haven't. That's when you can lose self-awareness and get stuck repeating gender conforming patterns.
is it feminine when men seek approval and validation from other men? is it feminine when they imitate male mentors? or is "feminine" a trait only women posses in these situations? and, why is competing with men equivalent to seeking their validation? can we do literally nothing without it being done for male attention?
there isnt anything inherently feminine abt wanting approval from peers, competition, wanting attention, etc. and while i agree socialization skews in favor of men, i dont see how thats relevant to what you said in your first post. were socialized to do a lot of contradictory, conflicting things bc gender has no reason to be other than to keep women subservient. in some situations this might mean making us seek attention from men with our beauty. in others it might mean keeping ourselves plain and out of a mans business. no single trait or behavior is inherently feminine or masculine, all of this is situational and whatever benefits men most goes. if were socialized to do anything, its to change ourselves at a whim to suit men.
bc of this there is no such thing as "real female gender nonconformity" or being "100% gender non conforming" bc there is no such thing as "real female gender role conformity" in the first place. the roles assigned to us are nonsensical and only serve the purpose of male domination, which can mean making us take all sorts of roles and behaviors, none of which are inherently anything. also its just, hard and punishing. nobody can ever be perfectly gender conforming, and nobody can ever be perfectly gender non conforming. i dont think i entirely disagree with you but its blind to assign specific acts or traits "feminine" or "masculine" labels when those labels are very dependant on context. theres plenty of situations where women can gain from competing with men, or from seeking attention from men. these are not black and white issues. gain is what we should focus on, not how arbitrarily feminine or masculine a thing or behavior is. why bother with those?
it was actually super feminine for marie curie to get that nobel from men. Thats why men tried to block her from getting it. Sufragists were the most feminine of women at that time because they got the vote from male institutions.
How are both of you missing the point this much. What op is saying is that women have been socialized to value male attention over everything, so women who consistently seek out male attention over female attention are falling into the trap of gender roles (ergo are feminine) even if they dress masculine. This has nothing to do with being in a male-dominated field & therefore forced to compete with only men or women living in a male-dominated society that forces them to compete with men for their basic rights as citizens
“A lock that opens up for many keys bad but key that opens many locks is good”
you are a grown man that obeys nonsensical arbitrary rules so your friends wont make fun of you. There is no lock or key. We’re human beings. This isnt the 1300s we have microscopes and lasers and MRI machines. How do you survive being so easily influenced and medieval. Like. You realize you are choosing to get mad about this thing that doesnt matter. Its like thinking left handed people are demonic. I dont even wanna get into like feminist arguments abt the meaning of that metaphor its just mindblowing that a grown adult would let themselves be seriously influenced by silly metaphors.
butch lesbian trans women & fem gay trans guys should get 1 billion dollars each. for holding up society
You want to…thank…gender conforming straight people?
can i help you
No it’s fine @stupid-femme put it perfectly
god i am so sick of heterosexuals
