LiterallyAFlower

she/fae, fighting games and ttrpgs!

[qcharlie]

please god watch this right now

[fangirltothefullest]

The editing of this video is hysterical and genius- they switch between so many editing styles to reflect exactly what kind of thing they're going for in each segment its GREAT.

[demilypyro]

I'm kind of obsessed with character arcs. The idea that the purpose of a person is to change. The way to make a character feel "real" is to have them respond to their experiences, and become someone else.

I'm obsessed with figuring out where my arc is. Did I already complete it? Was it transitioning? Was it building a career? Is it dealing with my anger? That arc isn't going anywhere fast. Maybe my arc started recently when I picked up guitar, or maybe it started even more recently, when I got into the local trans scene. Maybe it hasn't started at all. Maybe it starts when I'm 40, or 60.

And maybe my arc isn't a positive one. Maybe my arc isn't the story of a strong, young woman overcoming adversity and learning from it. Maybe it's a woman's descent into despair, an arc where she pushes everyone away and ruins her own life. Maybe this is the last hope before it all goes south.

Humans don't work like this, of course. Stories work like this, but a human life isn't a story. I'm not a character, my existence doesn't serve a narrative purpose, there is no writer trying to make a salient point using my life. I just exist. I just am. But that means I'm never done. Characters get to have their arc and finish it and then that's who they are. I'm jealous of that. I have to keep changing.

My long term memory is fucking shot. Too much trauma when I was little made me a bit too good at not remembering things. Childhood's mostly blank, anything older than a few months already gets fuzzy. The only things that stick are things that made a huge impact. Everything else leaks out of me. My friends know not to expect me to remember anything. It's not something I can help.

Problem is, I can't really remember what I used to be like. I'm constantly changing, but if I can't remember where I've been, am I really changing at all? Did the tree make a sound when I can't even remember if it fell or not? A single point on a graph does not an arc make. And the points behind me keep getting erased. The only way I know I've changed is because people tell me I have. Or because they expect things from me that I can't see myself doing.

Sometimes I read old posts on this blog just to see what kind of person I used to be. I'm often confused and disturbed by what I find. Does that mean I changed for the better? Or the worse? Who's even to say?

I only ever exist right now.

[qcharlie]

please god watch this right now

[fangirltothefullest]

The editing of this video is hysterical and genius- they switch between so many editing styles to reflect exactly what kind of thing they're going for in each segment its GREAT.

[hydrattan]

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

[noknowshame]

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

[leiten7]

[asylumpixie]

Birdies, birdies, gather ye here, round the marble nest...

cms artist：葡萄柚与香根草

[vampyr-ism]

happy pride

[wtf-scientific-papers]

[You should look a gift ungulate in the mouth: Using 2D occlusal cheek tooth morphology to study the evolution of molarization in ungulates]

Ashbaugh et al. (2026)

[nessimaki-deactivated20141106]

[dialupmodern]

Babe, you okay? you reblogged “and we were nice to each other” like 12 times again

[nessimaki-deactivated20141106]

[dialupmodern]

Babe, you okay? you reblogged “and we were nice to each other” like 12 times again

[nessimaki-deactivated20141106]

[dialupmodern]

Babe, you okay? you reblogged “and we were nice to each other” like 12 times again

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who hasn't been held in a decade: oh I'm pretty low maintenance, yeah honestly I think I'd find that overwhelming or something, can I just hold your hand instead? If that's okay of course?

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who feels ill at the notion of taking up space: yeah I can stand. Yeah honestly it's no biggie I like standing. Do you mind if I lean here? It's okay to say no.

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who would rather die than be considered selfish: I'm really sorry to ask I'm probably just being annoying but could I ask for another pillow? Yeah there isn't one in the room. Yeah no worries I can just bunch up some towels if needed.

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who's most outlandish and fantastical fantasies are a coffee date and seeing a movie with someone: oh I don't get out much. Yeah I don't really like being around people. I'm pretty much an introvert. Or something like that yeah.

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who would break down screaming and crying if someone showed even a hint of affection in person, who would fall apart at the seams if you held her still and asked her if she was okay, woman who if allowed too would wrap herself around you and sob and weep until she became severely dehydrated: oh yeah sorry I spaced out for a second there. Yeah I'm doing alright.

[codex-entry]

Me, literally yesterday: 'Okay, May was shit but all of that is behind me! So long as nothing else abruptly caves in on me, I can finally lock in on getting Haruspex in order' My roommates: 'Hey, we need you to move out.'

[codex-entry]

support helps immensely https://www.patreon.com/c/codexentry https://ko-fi.com/rubyseals

[demilypyro]

I think what sets of the Devil apart from any other thing for me, is that it's the only story I know that would ask you to care about Morgan. in any other story, she'd unequivocally be a villain. in fact, in many of its inspirations, similar characters serve as the irredeemable evil to be destroyed. but of the Devil refuses to discard Morgan over her many faults and dysfunctions.

even when she actively and maliciously hurts and kills people, the narrative still makes an effort to consider her emotions, her viewpoints, her experience. no matter how disconnected and evil and inhuman she feels, it shows you that she's a person, and it highlights those few people who are positively impacted by her existence. it shows you how hard she works to help the ones she loves, even if she has to hide it under a layer of irony and ulterior motives. and it shows you all the ways Morgan is loved. all the ways her existence still has value, no matter how many people she's hurt, or how she personally feels about herself.

as someone who's often hurt others, who has a very easy time hating herself, and who feels that same disconnect with humanity... it means a lot to me that a story like of the Devil exists. I think any proper analysis of it requires that your heart is open to loving someone like Morgan.

I don't know how of the Devil will end, and my final opinion of it will be heavily impacted by the way it chooses to end. but given what we have, I have to believe it will find an ending that doesn't just discard Morgan like an evil thing. she can't just be a cautionary tale, some example of how not to be, like so many before. I have to believe it'll be better than that.

[codex-entry]

Me, literally yesterday: 'Okay, May was shit but all of that is behind me! So long as nothing else abruptly caves in on me, I can finally lock in on getting Haruspex in order' My roommates: 'Hey, we need you to move out.'

[codex-entry]

support helps immensely https://www.patreon.com/c/codexentry https://ko-fi.com/rubyseals

[daniil-dankovskys-daily-quote]

The only solution is to obtain a natural hybrid of man and bull. However, insofar as such a creature does not exist, all we have left is to acknowledge the imperfection of the world and to mourn the failure of our intentions.

-Daniil Dankovsky in a letter in the Haruspex Route from Pathologic Classic HD

[m3ll0wing]

are you carcosapilled bro are you hasturmaxxing yet