You can also ask about the big surprise I'm working on, but you might get horrifyingly vague answers 🤭
~•°^°•~
Minors DNI
If you couldn't tell, this is a TF2 blog!
I really want to start writing fanfiction, but it seems like a very daunting task to me right now. That being said, I'm opening requests, but only for things like headcanons, short scenarios, little rambles, and other small things that wouldn't overwhelm me.
You can also ask me things and I will answer as my Pyrosona! I may get a little cheeky and hide things with "mh muh hudduh hh!" type speech, but if you're lucky, I'll leave hints as to what it says! I may even include quick sketches if I feel like it (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧
As of right now, I will write for all the mercs, but if you want multiple, please tell me a few you want to see the most just in case I'm tired or feeling unmotivated. I'm not always gonna wanna do all of them, so if you don't specify a few, it might take a bit for me to post your request.
•°¯`•• α𝕓๏𝔲t ᗰ乇! ••´¯°•
-I don't want to share the name I go by irl, so call me LiterallyPyro, and I'm open to nickname suggestions!
-I am 20 years old
-I am non-binary and pansexual, and I use they/them pronouns
-I have ADHD, so I'm sorry if some do not get answered. If I haven't responded, feel free to request/ask again after a week!
Purple text means restrictions may apply
Things I will write:
-romantic
-platonic
-suggestive
-angst
-(personality trait)!reader
-(disorder)!reader
-Pyrosona asks
-drabbles
-headcanons
-short scenarios and things of similar nature
The reason some may be denied because I am uncomfortable with the specification, or because I do not feel like I could write it accurately/ do it justice.
If you want something else that doesn't go against my "will not"s, just ask. I might not always write it, but it's better to ask and I say no than to not ask and I would've said yes.
If I refuse to do one, I will answer saying so
Blue text means may change in the future
Things I will not write:
-rape/noncon/sexual assault of any kind
-incest
-abuse (physical, emotional, or otherwise)
-pedophilia
-explicit NSFW
-your OCs
-full fics
-matchups
(see what I did there? Blue may change in the future? like the blu team and balancing system in the game? Yeah, I know where the door is, I can walk myself out 😭)
If there is any info I'm possibly missing, please let me know! I want y'all to be as informed as possible! I want to do my due diligence!
Hey y'all. Sorry for like. Dying and stuff. BUT! I do have something for you. Well. For the Eddsworld fans. Originally, I didn't want to have this account associated with it since it's a tf2 blog, but I don't have a main blog, so.... 💀
Point is, I have been working with a good friend of mine on a fanfiction called The Prime Of Life. It's on ao3, and we have a Tumblr account where you can find extra content (eventually), chapter links, non-chapter updates, ask us questions, and more! As of right now, there are only two chapters out, but we are working on the 3rd and 4th right now. (Slightly more detailed explanation on The Prime Of Life account, which I will link at the end of this post.)
The Tumblr account itself is pretty bare bones right now, but it will certainly have plenty to consume in the future. Other than answering questions and things of the like, we plan to post official art, including character designs, drawn out scenes, and more! Plus, if you ask the right question, you might even get a doodle attached to the answer! Some art will be by me, some from them, and some of it will be collabs! I have not talked with my friend about art requests, though, so I wouldn't bet on that quite yet.
There are some pretty heavy plans for this fanfiction, so implore you to read the tags. It's pretty tame right now, but future chapters will have you questioning our stability. I want to tell you all about it, but I don't want to spoil anything, so if it seems like your kinda thing, we'd love for you to read it!
As of right now, our longest released chapter (the second one) is 11,686 words, and we only expect them to get longer in the future. This is definitely a fanfiction fit for those who love excruciatingly long reads! Well, it will be once we get into the thick of it.
I can't think of anything else important to say at the moment, so that's all! I hope you consider reading The Prime Of Life. A lot of time, effort, love, tears, and sleep deprivation has already been put into it, and there will undoubtedly be more.
This is a nice easy one! It'll certainly help me get back into the swing of things!
Hope you enjoy!
Diffused
-Absolute love bug, this guy. Loves cuddles more than a lot of things
-He enjoys laying his head on your stomach cuz soft
-Also likes having you lay on top of him like a weighted blanket and vice versa
-He will likely stroke your head or run his fingers through your hair every time you cuddle
-Absolutely loves to cuddle to decompress after a particularly hard match
-Definitely has conversations with you and talks through anything that pissed off one or both of you
-Will try to make you laugh cuz there's just something about feeling your shoulders jump against him that makes him such an in love fool
-Depending on how tired he is, you might not be getting back up once y'all start cuddling, so keep that in mind if you have anything important to do
-You could get him to fall asleep by drawing imaginary shapes on his face with your finger
-Personal headcanon: he would definitely grow out his hair cuz he just likes it. More relevant: cuddling is one of the times his hair is just loose and he looks so good
-Gets pouty if he doesn't get enough cuddles, but it's the sad type instead of the annoyed type of pouty
-Has soft music playing pretty much every time you cuddle. It's for the vibes, can you blame him?
-Gives many forehead kisses and this boys lips are softttttt he could endorse chapstick brands fr fr
-He's the type to rub your back and give tight hugs if you're upset and want to cuddle to feel better
-Basically, he is the exact opposite of how he is on the battlefield. Quiet, sweet, gentle, absolute fucking pining loser for you
-Won a hotdog eating contest once and got violently sick afterwards
-Has an absolute blast in sensory rooms
Soldier:
-Never challenge him to any sort of physical competition. Bro is fit as fuck
-Definitely gets the "favorite uncle" title with literally any kid he spends any time around that aren't his
-Can do a perfect Johnny Bravo impression
Pyro:
-Absolute god when playing Uno, and they don't even know what's going on. It's all intuition
-Loves those Renaissance style paintings of fairies and women frolicking in the woods
-Quite literally can sprint full speed on all fours like a dog
Demoman:
-Knows how to make the trumpet sound with his mouth and does it perfectly
-Would absolutely love the Cuphead game
-Would definitely be one of the best dads, if not THE best dad out of everyone
Heavy:
-Really likes small dogs, especially when they look like they don't know they exist
-Phantom of The Opera enjoyer
-Gordon Ramsey would be honored to cook with him
Engineer:
-Skateboards better than Tony Hawk "it's just physics 🤠☝️" ... He just doesn't skateboard much or do his best cuz he doesn't want to hurt Scout's feelings
-Learned to do that trick where you set your hand on fire for a second just to entertain Pyro
-Peak interior design. He can create any look and atmosphere with ease
Medic:
-The embodiment of the indomitable human spirit. Bro would crawl his way out of trouble with all his limbs broken and his head hanging on by a single layer of skin
-If he had to choose, he would feed his doves instead of himself. They are basically his children, so they're his #1 priority
-Once tried to create a function on his medigun that drains the enemy Medic's Ubercharge to fill his own
Sniper:
-Favorite movie would be The Princess Bride
-Would really enjoy indie folk music
-Probably knows how to make coffee starting from growing the fuckin plant
Spy:
-Actually loves wearing eyeliner. He KNOWS he looks good in it
pinned said closed but asks said open so uh . hoping reqs are open !!
i didnt see anything on your profile saying no merc x merc , so assuming i can request that , perhaps some swordvan (sniper x demo) , but sniper is autism incarnate lmaoo
if you dont do merc x merc :
can i ask for autistic!sniper x reader ? (not specifically neurodivergent OR neurotypical)
Oh hey look, a pairing I haven't seen before
I'm more than happy to write some swordvan headcanons for you :]
God help these fools
Pre-relationship
-At first, neither of them really tried to tell the other, or even drop hints, so it definitely took a while. I'm thinking it takes at least a few years for them to get together, not including the time that they just saw each other as just friends
-I think the first to realize they have a crush on the other would be Sniper. I think that he would hate not knowing how to identify his feelings, so he did a lot of research when he was younger
-Demo would realize later down the line simply because he doesn't put a lot of thought into it. He just thinks "oh hey, it's the person I like to spend time with. Lemme spend time with him"
-Side note: Sniper can go nonverbal pretty often, and Demo learned sign language specifically for that
-It's excruciatingly obvious to the rest of the team, especially when it comes to Sniper. I mean, come on. Demo is the only one who isn't met with a kukri when he wakes Sniper up too early
-A while after Demo realizes his feelings for Sniper, at least six or so months, he starts dropping hints. He's a bit scared about how Sniper would react, so he doesn't want to outright say it
-Sniper does not pick up on the hints at all, and when he does, he convinces himself he's just imagining things. Poor guy has relationship anxiety worse than Demo
-It probably takes a year or longer for Sniper to even consider dropping hints. Even then, the hints he drops are so subtle that not even a delusional person looking for hints could pick up on it
-Sniper definitely avenges Demo every time he does. Bro really over here thinking "how dare you. I like him. Don't do that shit."
-Once it's gone on long enough and both of them have been suffering from un-confessed-crushitis for an unbearable amount of time, Demo would be the one to say it
-It wouldn't be flashy or romantic by most people's standards. It would more likely be when they're just hanging out, maybe they've been drinking and both of them have a buzz and then he confesses. It's called liquid courage for a reason, folks
-Sniper just brushes it off as drunk ramblings. He can't get it out of his mind though. He would go to bed and let the memory gnaw at him until the next morning when he asks for clarification
-Demo can practically sense how anxiously hopeful Sniper is, plus the fact that he wouldn't bring it up again if he didn't want it to be true, so he confidently reassures Sniper that he does actually love him
-Awkward silence
-Sniper does the whole cliché "so what are we" thing and Demo just responds "partners, I'd hope"
Relationship
-Very soft, very cute, very fluffy boyfriends
-Demo has a cup of coffee ready for when Sniper gets up, Sniper always makes sure there's always at least one bottle of Scrumpy in the fridge
-Demo is aware that Sniper might miss some of his social cues, so he's not afraid to just say what he wants. He also understands Sniper's a bit shy, so he quickly learns when and when not to be all lovey-dovey
-Sniper also makes sure to be very upfront with the problems his autism may cause. He gives plenty of heads ups and warnings and such. Makes sure to immediately say something if he just doesn't want to be touched, and Demo always respects it
-Sniper info-dumps all the time to Demo since he actually feels comfortable doing it. The rest of the team doesn't even know that's a thing he does (he masks very well)
-Demo makes sure to ask weeks in advance if he wants to go on a date or anything because Sniper is definitely the type who doesn't like unexpected changes to his routine. That's why he's such a grumpy merc
-Demo actually completely upgraded his room so there isn't a chance Sniper could have sensory issues in there
-When Sniper feels like he's about to have a meltdown, he immediately seeks out Demo since they actually sat down and created a plan for times like that. Includes a lot of yes and no questions and grounding techniques
-Demo has a whole collection of items to help prevent meltdowns as well. Fidget toys, headphones, essential oils Sniper likes, weighted blankets, etc.
-They rarely fight, but when they do, Demo knows exactly how to handle it. He'll tell Sniper they should do their own things for a bit. When he's ready to talk it out, he can go to Demo since he has the patience to wait
-They're both up for cuddling if the other can't sleep
-I feel like Sniper basically doesn't get sick, but Demo does a fairly often, so Sniper takes care of him. He does a great job, too. He just doesn't baby him
-Lots of inside jokes that the rest of the team can't even begin to imagine make any sense at all, even in context. They have really weird conversations, okay?
-Sniper always chooses spots near med packs so Demo can charge in there to heal while Sniper watches his back
-Demo's giving love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service. Sniper's are acts of service and quality time. Both of them like all of them for receiving, but Demo's favorite is quality time, and Sniper's is words of affirmation
-Demo is absolutely the type to lay across Sniper's lap when he wants attention (when Sniper doesn't mind being touched)
I have a suggestion. The mercs accidentially friendly firing at their s/o and respawn malfunctions so they’re in a coma for a while. How will they react?
Maybe Sniper, Engineer and Soldier (and Spy if you feel like doing one more merc) :)
Ooo, this is an interesting spin! We love angst in this house
Anyway, hope you enjoy!
I just can't take it
Sniper:
-No one can get him out of his camper. At best, they can set food on the steps and it'll be gone by morning. The team just has to hope it's him eating it and not a random animal who was attracted by the smell
-Sleeps as much as possible. He gets about an equal amount of dreams and nightmares, but they're all about you
-The dreams give him a new feeling of loss when he wakes up, and the nightmares just amplify his guilt
-After a couple weeks and a few positive reports from Medic, he decides he needs to take care of himself simply because you would want him to
-It takes a few months before he's actually able to visit you. He just wouldn't be able to handle it before then
-Even after you're out of your coma, it'll take years for him to get past it. There will still be times when he wakes up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare about what happened
Engineer:
-It didn't fully set in at first. He's not even supposed to be able to shoot you, let alone put you in a coma
-It doesn't fully sink in until he sees you hooked up to all the machines monitoring you and keeping you alive. After that, the first thing he does is fix the respawn machine
-He barely eats or sleeps until the respawn machine is good as new
-With the machine fixed, he just doesn't know what to do with himself. He ends up drinking with Demoman and talking to him and Heavy about it
-Demo and Heavy are literally the only reason Engie keeps a firm grasp on reality. Without them, he would spiral into a bedrotting depression and no one would be able to pull him out of it
-When you wake up, he cannot stop himself from bawling his eyes out
-Bro like actually clings to you and blubbers endless apologies
Soldier:
-As shown in a previous post, he would at least be able to function and handle himself decently if you were in a coma, but if it was his fault? He would shut down completely
-Part of him refuses to accept that it even happened, but the other part is screaming at him that he needs to pay for what he's done
-He goes through his days like a ghost. He's not fully there, no matter what he's doing. "The lights are on, but nobody's home" in the worst way possible
-He does the bare minimum to take care of himself, but literally the only reason he can even do that much is because his body's on autopilot
-Whenever he sees you, he completely dissociates. He gets flashbacks of the shot that put you in the coma and the events immediately after
-Yeah, he's not allowed to see you anymore. Not until you wake up, at least. Once you do, he's still not quite back to normal, but you'll be able to help him heal a lot faster than he ever would if you died
Spy:
-He is screaming commands when he realizes what happened. You are not already in the med bay and that is a problem
-He visits you a few times, but he has to stop after a while because of how horrible it makes him feel to see you like that
-Oh, would you look at that, alcoholism. Genuinely starts being able to keep pace with Demo and that's not good
-Every single night he has a dream of domestic life with you that turns into a nightmare of you yelling at him and blaming him for what happened. He knows you would never, but it still makes his mental state worse
-Self care? Who's that? The team ends up forcing him to eat and take a shower. Bro is skin and bones now
-No body can even mention your name around him otherwise it'll trigger flashbacks and he will get exponentially worse
-When you wake up, he's shaking. He almost can't bring himself to face you, but he knows he should. He knew you wouldn't be mad at him, but he was still scared
The mercs with a messy happy-go-lucky artist reader. The type that enthusiastically begins a new big project late in the evening or wakes up in the middle of the night with an idea. Paint, plaster and glue is all over the floor, the clothes and their face.
If not all the mercs then maybe Soldier, Engineer and Sniper (maybe even Spy).
Ooo, I like this one! Lowkey me tbh
I'm gonna add reader yapping about their art cuz I wanna be a bit self indulgent
I hope you enjoy
Creative spike
Soldier:
-He loves listening to you ramble about ideas you have. He might even give a few of his own ideas if you'd listen
-He honestly loves having such an artsy partner. You just look so lively so often, it gives him a warm fuzzy feeling whenever he sees your eyes light up with ideas
-He enjoys watching you start a new project. He just can't get over how happy you look when you do
-He'd be able to sleep through your midnight creation to be honest. I get the feeling that not much can wake him up
-When he wakes up and sees the mess, he gets a little bit OCD, but it isn't nearly as bad when he sees how happy you are with whatever project you're working on
-Seeing you covered in paint and various other things makes him chuckle to himself a little bit. He knows you probably forgot how messy you got, so he always reminds you to take a shower when you're done
Engineer:
-He rambles to you about his machines, so it's only fair he listens to you about your art ideas. Not that he minded in the first place
-When you start a project with that joyful look on your face, he's just sitting off to the side with a goofy smile. He's just a loser in love, okay?
-He thinks it's one of the cutest things when you're covered in whatever materials you used in your most recent project
-There's about a 50% chance he'll wake up when you're doing one of your random midnight art projects
-Yknow those short quiet snort laughs when someone finds something amusing? He pretty much does that and goes back to sleep
-The mess doesn't bother him much, and he'll help you clean it up if he isn't busy
-He'd let you do your little art projects in his workshop as long as you kept the mess contained. He can't be tripping and slipping on your supplies while carrying machinery that most likely weighs more than he does
Sniper:
-He would silently listen to you go on and on about your ideas while he does his own thing. Most people would think he isn't listening, but you know he is
-It's really endearing to him when he finds you covered in paint and whatever else you may have been using. It feeds his soul fr
-He always stirs a little when you get out of bed, but he leaves you alone when he realizes you're starting a new project. He doesn't want to disrupt the flow
-He definitely laughs when he sees the mess you made. The kind that has him rubbing his eyes and chuckling when he remembers it later in the day
-Will help you clean, but only if you ask
-He might make little wooden carvings for you to paint if you want
Spy:
-He listens when you ramble about your art. He'd be like... Reading a book at the same time, but he will periodically look over at you and ask questions that show he is in fact listening
-Make a mess all you want, just keep it away from his fancy boi things. You'll be cleaning stains by yourself
-He's honestly really lowkey and reserved about how happy your artsy side. He just kinda smirks to himself and does his own thing when you excitedly start a new project
-Sometimes he'll wake up when you get up to start a new project in the middle of the night, and sometimes, he'll silently follow you to watch you work
-If you notice, he just smiles like "don't mind me"
-He thinks it's cute when your covered in paint and whatever else, but you're gonna clean yourself up before you even consider hugging him or anything
-Would actually find opportunities for you to make a career out of your art if you want. Bro's got connections, just say the word
hey!! Could i request some fatherly platonic x reader headcanons or drabbles with Heavy, Engineer, and possibly Medic and/or Spy and an older teenage/young adult reader who is a merc but is obviously inexperienced with stuff so is protected, or trained, or comforted by the others? (Or really any other scenario you can think of!) Thank you!
AUGH, SUCH A GOOD IDEA
You gonna make me go feral tryna imagine these hoes as fathers 😔 I was listening to Dear Theodosia on loop while writing this 💀
Anywayyyyyyyyy, hope you enjoy!
We'll give the world to you, and you'll blow us all away
Heavy:
-He was extremely conflicted about it. You have so much at your fingertips, why choose something you might not be able to recover from? If the world learns you're a mercenary, you'll never be able to change paths if you change your mind in the future
-On the other hand, he's honored that you want to follow in his footsteps. It's like you confirmed he did a good job making you feel loved and cared for
-During missions, he'll keep an eye on you, but he wants to let you do things yourself. You won't get any better if he holds your hand through the whole thing
-If your first respawn scares you, he does his best to calm you down. He reminds you of grounding methods and helps you use them until you're calm "See? You are okay. You do well. Do not let this discourage you."
-If you want to use the same kind of miniguns he uses, he'll put you through so much strength and endurance training. After each session, he'll tell you he's proud and make sure you cool off and rest properly
-He lets you make his way up through his guns. Each time you improve enough, the gun improves
-If you get bummed about not improving as fast as you want to, he doesn't let you take it too harshly. He'll remind you how good you're doing and that not everyone could do what you can
-He also helps you with aiming, such as hitting enemies in the air. With every big improvement, he cheers with you and gives you a big hug
-He has the biggest look of pride on his face when he lets you use Sasha. He's literally about to cry when he sees you holding it
-If course, he's gonna teach you how to handle yourself when you run out of bullets. Quite possibly teaches you some boxing if you want
Engineer:
-The first thing he does is introduce you to the team. You can see how happy he is
-During missions, he lets you chill in his nest for a few minutes if you need to, but you'll have to go back out eventually
-He asks the others on the team to teach you how to handle their enemy counterparts
-He would've taught you about machines long before you became a mercenary since it'll help you with household and car maintenance. That being said, he'd be more than happy to teach you about the ones he uses for battle if you want
-He'll even teach you how to be sneaky when choosing spots for nests
-Definitely the type to hold your hand through it a little more, but not so much that it hinders your performance and learning
-Definitely gets revenge kills for you whenever you die and get sent to respawn. If you get scared on your first respawn, he tells you to either take the rest of the idea or hide in his nest until you calm down. Gives you a hug if you need it to calm down
-He can't help but chuckle when you get excited over getting a kill. I think we all kinda know this, but he's the type to brag about you to everyone on the way back to the residential part of the base
-Always tells you how good you're doing, but he isn't afraid to tell you what needs improvement
-He'll set aside a lot of time to help you in the areas you need to work on
-Whispers under his breath while watching you enjoy the thrill of battle "Look at you go, kid."
-Nothing gives him more pride than seeing you do good in battle. That type of pride that has him holding his hat to his chest with that trying-not-to-cry pain in his throat. It's like everything goes in slow motion and he can see light radiating from you
Medic:
-He's absolutely ecstatic! Just imagine it! Him and his child wreaking havoc in battle!
-He was clever and had you go through respawn before you had to go into battle so it wouldn't affect you when it was important
-If you want to have a job like his, the first thing he teaches you is staying alive. You can't heal or charge Uber if you die
-He teaches you all of the best and quickest routes to get out of danger and behind your team, where all the med packs are, and how to aim a syringe gun or crossbow
-Once you have a hang of the basics, he'll teach you everything you need to know about the different types of mediguns. He'll teach you how to maintain them, and might even have you help make them better
-He always prioritizes healing you if you're low on health, but that's as far as the hand-holding goes
-He cannot contain his happiness when you succeed in battle, no matter what kind of role you choose. "I will be proud, no matter what path you take. What's important is you are the one who chooses it."
-Nothing matter what, he won't let you get discouraged after a battle that you lost or wish you would've done better. Everyone has bad days, so don't let this one weigh you down. Think about what you did wrong and learn from it
-Takes you to your favorite restaurant or whatever after battles where you did really good or successfully did something you've been practicing. One of the best positive reinforcement fathers in the world, and I'm not letting anyone even try to convince me otherwise
-He is honored to have a kid like you. He isn't the type to cry from the intense emotion, but he is so proud of you that no words will ever be able to explain it
-He wouldn't notice something like a shirt going missing until he sees you in it tbh
-He thinks it's cute when he finds you wearing something of his at random times during the day
-Bro is LANKY, so chances are whatever you steal is going to be really long on you. Depending on how much you weigh it could be tight or loose, but chances are you aren't as tall and lanky as him, so his clothes most likely gonna be too long
-If you happen to be the same size as him, though, he's sitting there admiring you. Oh, would you look at that, he wants to put some strange primal claim on you
-He can hardly contain himself when he sees you wearing his shirt as pajamas. At the very least, he is sticking to you like tar for the rest of the night
-Extremely aware of the cowboy hat rule, but he isn't sure if you are, so if you stole his hat right off his head... he's just kinda silent like🧍
-If he just finds you with his hat on when he wasn't wearing it, there is an even chance between simply taking it back or subtly teasing you about it
-He will naturally just leave his clothes lying somewhere out of the way if he's tired, but he never lets it become a complete mess. He starts doing this more when he knows you like to steal his clothes
-Many hugs and many kisses when you wear his clothes. Stage 4 clinger fr fr
Can I suggest Soldier with a laidback and caring reader who is built like Heavy? :)
I gotcha!
I love the idea of Soldier being with someone who is every bit as chill as people wish he was 😂
Hope you enjoy!
Almost like melatonin
-Even Soldier himself was surprised when he developed feelings for you
-But he can't deny it's very nice being around you
-For some reason, he just calms down when you want him to. Literally the most you have to do is pick him up and hold him in a big bear hug and then he's just ... zen
-Often times, it's as easy as putting a hand on his shoulder or just saying his name to get his attention
-You could even get him to fall asleep if you really wanted to
-The interesting thing about him is that, while he won't let anyone insult his patriotism, he literally could not give a single fuck about his masculinity
-Hold him like a baby, let him sit on your arm with it curled around his legs like you're carrying a bag of charcoal, whatever. Bro could not care less what people think about it
-He likes when you lay on him while sleeping like those Great Danes who can't seem to understand they aren't lap dogs
-You best be okay with being used like a jungle gym tho. Bro would stand, not sit, stand on your shoulders while hurling insults at the enemy team
-After a tiring day of work, he would love to lay on your belly while you're sprawled out on the couch
-If you were to pick him up by the back of his shirt, bro would just stop working. He'd be like a confused cat. Completely still, eyes spaced out a little too far to be normal, just kinda hanging there like it simply doesn't compute
-In the times where you can't get him to calm down completely, he just embodies the golden retriever boyfriend vibe. Tell him to sit, and he immediately plants his ass in whatever spot you pointed to with a big goofy, smile on his face. Home boy is at your mercy
Can I suggest Soldier and Spy with a chill and laidback hippie reader? I really like the idea of them being attracted to someone very opposite themselves :)
Yippee!! I love hippie stuff!!
This is gonna be the last one for the night, but I'll answer more requests tomorrow!
I hope you enjoy!
Subverting expectations
Soldier:
-Genuinely how the fuck did this happen
-He always used "hippie" as an insult. I mean, come on! They were all about peace and love in a time of war! You can't beat violence by sitting down and taking it!
-But then there's you. You never held it against him. You always gave him a 1000-watt smile. You seemed to actually enjoy his company even though you had very different views
-He started liking tolerating your presence
-Then, one day, you made a flower crown on his head and he just... gets it
-Of course, he's not just gonna go full pacifist hippie, but he noticeably calms down around you. Can you blame him? You're so sweet and caring, yet still not a pushover
-It takes him a bit, but he eventually understands why you don't like violence
-He isn't really a fan of the hippie clothing style, but you wear it so well he can't help but compliment you
-Since you're not exactly the fighting type, he feels like he needs to do that for you. If someone decides they want to mess with you or creep on you, Soldier is ON. HIS. WAY.
-Might take them somewhere away from you so you don't have to watch him beat them within an inch of their life
-All in all, nobody's really sure how you managed to bag him (and vice versa) but you two go together surprisingly well
Spy:
-Quite literally calls you a backwoods redneck the first time you meet. Like it's really hard for him to tell the difference between hippie and that alternative bohemian trailer park aesthetic
-It doesn't take long for his opinion of you to change, though. He's literally a Spy, it's his job to be observant and understand the psyche of everyone around him
-You would have to actually teach him the difference between hippie and the alternative bohemian trailer park aesthetic. Once you do, he has a very keen eye
-He ends up buying you jewelry he knows you'll like, maybe even a different set for every outfit combo you have
-He understands why you're against war and violence, but he thinks you're naive for thinking peace is possible
-He thinks it's cute when you make flower crowns and get excited over patchwork pants and small business products
-He truly admires how you can DIY so much stuff. You just... Thought about a shirt you wanted... And made it? On a whim? How the hell did you recreate and improve upon a necklace you saw in the store?
-If you have a garden, he is more than happy to eat food you make with the fruits and veggies from it. He would also hire someone to take care of it if you had to be away for a while (taking you on vacation teehee)
Please please please we need more random headcanons w the mercs !!
Hell yeah! I love coming up with goofy little headcanons!
Here's three more random headcanons for each merc!
Hope you enjoy!
Scout:
-Once upon a time, he painted a Red Sox mural on an abandoned building
-Bro gets intense baby fever out of literally NOWHERE
-Once had beef with Santa as a kid
Soldier:
-If he used beads and jewels instead of severed body parts, he could actually start a thriving jewelry business
-Falls for the "there's something on your shirt" trick
-Won a fight with a crocodile and bragged about it for weeks
Pyro:
-Made friends with a crow. You mess with Pyro, you're messing with the whole gang
-Godly origami skills
-Genuinely knows how to c-walk and sometimes does it with Scout after winning matches
Demoman:
-Yknow that scene from Kung Fu Panda 2 where Po pulls the "no u" with the cannon ball? He pretty much did that with one of the enemy Sniper's piss jars when he was drunk on the battlefield
-Knows ALL the underground/unknown bands. Peak music taste fr
-Once wrote a book and never published it (it would've been a best seller)
Heavy:
-He's basically a Disney princess when it comes to animals. They fuckin love him
-Could give Spy a run for his money in seducing women if he wanted to, he just chooses not to
-When he's fed up with someone, he holds them up by the back of their shirt like a cat. Air jail ftw
Engineer:
-Actually one of the best dancers on the team. He can dance any style, regardless of how much strength it takes (what did you expect? He can run while carrying machines that weigh more than him)
-Would unironically listen to Fantasy by Mariah Carey if tf2 was set in 1995 or later
-Gives people the lead paint stare when he wants them to shut the fuck up
Medic:
-He can't go anywhere without at least three doves sitting on him. He is king of the doves at this point
-Has an amazing sense of style. He's just usually working and that's why nobody knows
-Sometimes has manic episodes where he can't stop cleaning
Sniper:
-Someone called him "pretty boy" one time years ago and he still remembers exactly what they look and sound like
-Will actually hit someone if they steal his food. Back off, ho
-The type to let pets knaw on his hands
Spy:
-Could actually be one of the best rock singers ever. Axl Rose? Pfft. Chris Cornell? Step aside (I know they're from different times, shut up)
-Was in a jazz band in his youth. Feels immense pride about it sometimes cuz he catches Scout listening to their music sometimes
How about a scenario where all of the mercs react to you being in a coma/waking up from a coma? I'm in the mood for angst!
(insert that one scene from the princess and the frog when prince navine and his servant accept the deal with Dr Facilier)
Also.... LOKI PFP SPOTTED‼️🫵
This can be read as platonic or pre-relationship for any of them!
I'm honestly excited to write this one! I hope you enjoy!
I will wait for you
They never expected it. They didn't know about the enemy Redmond had made in the process of trying to take down his brother. None of them knew who they were, and none of them even noticed something was wrong until they had seen the shadow sneaking away from their base.
Nothing was missing, at least they couldn't find any evidence of anything missing. Everyone was suspicious, some more than others. However, with nothing evidently wrong, nobody did anything.
The moment they realized the figure wrapped in the darkness of night had nearly doomed them was in the middle of battle. You had been shot. When you crumpled to the ground instead of getting sent to the respawn room, your team panicked.
The BLU team almost didn't listen until their Heavy— the one who had shot you— forced them to stop firing.
It seemed as if your body knew something happened to the respawn room. It clung to consciousness, but it was quickly getting worse.
Your vision was blurred and you could barely process anything you heard.
"What the hell happened?" You could hear Scout with the most distraught tone he ever had.
"They should have respawned by now!" Soldier shouted with an uncharacteristic amount of worry.
"You don't think I know that?" Medic hissed with a venomous tone. You could see him kneeling over you, blocking out the sun and making it only slightly easier for you to see. "Ach, this does not look good. Someone carry them to the med bay. I need to go prepare my things."
°•'~ᴗ͈_ᴗ͈~`•°
Medic rushed off to the med bay with a look of fearful urgency on his face. No one had ever seen him sprint quite like he did then. Scout was the one to pick you up and follow right behind Medic, an obvious choice because he could get you there the fastest.
The entire team could feel a weight in their hearts. For the first time in a long time, everyone grasped how mortal you were, and none of them liked it.
Medic wouldn't let anyone in the room while he operated on you. He needed to be completely alone. He needed to concentrate fully. He spent hours removing the bullets. He was more stressed than ever when his medigun could only patch up the holes but not bring you back to normal.
°•'~ᴗ͈_ᴗ͈~`•°
The team could barely look at you at first while you were hooked up to all those machines. It had been so long since any of them had gotten this close to death.
Sniper felt as if his lungs wanted to quit when he saw you. He could only tilt his hat to hide his face and leave the room. He knew others would stay there with you while he processed everything. He could barely process the emotions he had. They were so strong he physically felt them. He spent a lot of time watching Scout when the little ball of angered grief was outside.
Scout felt a surge of anger when he saw you. The kind of anger that makes your organs feel too big to fit in your body. The kind of anger that can only be let out through violence of some sort. Running like he was chasing that bitch who broke the respawn machine, breaking something, using Heavy's punching bag, you name it. Engineer even gave him some old useless machines to break with his bat.
Speaking of Engineer, he seemed to be taking it relatively well on the outside. On the inside, though, he wasn't taking it well at all. He lost all motivation to work on his machines. He turned all of his attention to the respawn machine. He spent many sleepless nights looking for what was wrong with it. When he finally fixed it, he spent a good portion of his time drinking with Demoman or asking for updates on you.
Demoman was one of the people the rest of the team went to when they needed comfort. Although he was usually teetering on the edge of being blackout drunk, he always wanted to help his teammates settle their minds. Although he didn't feel very optimistic, he would spend time thinking of good things to help the others.
Heavy was another one people went to when they needed reassurance. He was one of the people handling it the best. He had seen tragedy and hardship his whole life, and while he was still worried sick, he knew how to get through it. He helped the others and gave them some genuinely useful coping methods that fit for each of them. He also asked for constant updates on any progress you made and used any good news to help the team feel better.
Spy was seen even less than before. He didn't let it show around anyone else, but he was one of the ones taking it the hardest. He was going through his packs of cigarettes faster than ever before, and would have three or four glasses of whiskey rather than the one, maybe two that was normal for him. He did the bare minimum to take care of himself, and sometimes, not even that much.
Pyro was also hit devastatingly hard by the situation. They often dissociated. Their most common state was sitting completely still and staring at nothing. Their breathing was barely visible, their chest barely moving from how shallow and slow it was. It was almost impossible to break them out of it, their name having to be called several times before they turned their head towards the source. Heavy nearly had to force feed them just to make sure they were eating.
Soldier was only somewhat himself. When he wasn't standing guard at the door, he was pestering the others to try and find who sabotaged the respawn machine or just sitting in his room and trying to process his emotions. He was actually surprisingly good at handling the emotions of sadness and grief. He may not be smart by anyone's standards, but he actually has a specific type of emotional intelligence that not many quite understand, which helped him a lot while you were in a coma.
If it weren't on Medic's shoulders to keep you alive and heal you, he would be a complete wreck. When he wasn't changing your IV bags, checking your vitals, and maintaining everything you were hooked up to, he was searching for some miraculous cure for your situation. Papers, books, and personal experiments littered his desk. He was rarely seen doing anything but working. He had to fix this.
Nobody wanted to admit it out loud, but they were losing hope after several months of nothing. They all felt the weight of your absence in their daily activities. The base was unusually quiet all the time. The team rarely had the energy to manage anything above a whisper or a mumble.
°•'~ᴗ͈_ᴗ͈~`•°
"Whuh...?"
Scout was the first to find out when he came to check on you. He ran through the halls, shouting of your return to consciousness like Paul Revere. A few of them almost didn't believe him. However, they couldn't deny how all the anger he had was gone and was replaced by subtle tears in the waterlines of his eyes.
The team burst into the room to find you talking with a shaken Medic.
Soldier was the first to step forward, falling back into his usual personality. "How DARE you scare us like that, maggot? The team was falling apart! I've never seen such a sorry display from what is supposed to be an elite group of mercenaries!" Heavy put a hand on Soldier's shoulder to calm him down.
Pyro had to be reminded that you weren't fully better yet so they wouldn't crush you with a hug. You could feel them shaking and hear their sobs finally come out after so long of being completely static.
Scout wiped his eyes, laughing slightly at himself. "Look at me, dude. You got me crying like I ain't done since I was a little kid! Man, I'm just glad you're back."
Some of the team— Sniper, Demoman, Spy, Engineer, Heavy, and Medic— stayed silent and let the others talk to you first. They had the patience. They knew you would still be there when the others were done indirectly fighting for your attention.
It took a little over an hour for them to relax and let the others have their turn to talk to you.
Demoman seemed to breathe easier than he ever had before. "I tried to keep the team morale up, but I don't think I did a very good job. They'll be feeling a lot better now that you're awake. I know I am." His voice shook slightly as if happy sobs were fighting tooth and nail to be set free.
Engineer place a hand on your shoulder. His goggles were gone, and you could see how he was tearing up similarly to Scout. "I damn near can't believe my eyes. I was starting to think you wouldn't pull through. Maybe when you get to feeling better, you can come help me out in the workshop? I've fallen way behind."
Spy could barely even think of what to say. "Maybe now that you're getting better, things can return to normal." Though his words would seem underwhelming to anyone else, you knew him well enough to hear the hints of relief in his voice. You understood how he was and could hear how grateful he was that you pulled through.
Sniper had taken off his hat by this point, gripping it as if to ground himself in the moment. "We should probably work on your dodging skills, yeah?" Even though he didn't say much, you could feel the weight of his words. You could see how his face was lit up like it only did when he was completely filled with joy.
Heavy was quick to agree with him. "Da, team would be devastated if this repeated. We cannot express happiness enough you are better."
Medic waited until everyone left for his turn to speak with you. He sat down in a chair next to the hospital bed in which you laid. He took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and rested his elbows on his knees. The exhaustion he had was more than obvious. You could tell from the bags under his eyes that he worked tirelessly for you.
He looked up at you with furrowed brows and a weak smile. "You know... I don't think I have ever had a patient so difficult. It was challenging, but I... I'm glad I was able to help you."
"I think you need to rest." Your voice was soft and empathetic. You couldn't imagine how stressed he must have been. It was clearly enough to make him seem almost completely sane, after all. "Thank you so much for keeping me alive."
"You are right." He sighed and stood up with a stiffness in his bones. "I will check on you in the morning."
In order to empty my inbox as fast as possible, I will be answering the requests from easiest to most difficult. Sadly, this means some of you will be waiting longer than you originally would have, BUT I will be trying to post as many as I can today! I would have started earlier, but I fucked up my sleep schedule and slept in past 1pm. Anyway, imma get to work now and try to get these out as fast as possible! Thank you so much for your patience!
