meandall

//she/her // INTP // 16 anni e smarrita.

[lithium-oleander]

•∘˙⊹. ꒰ঌ ᧔ෆ᧓ ໒꒱ .⊹˙∘•

Hi!!

I like to discover new media, i like music, analysis of books, movies, whatever.

I don't have any DNI's; if i don't like you, i'll block you.

tags:

- diary🌬️: random thoughts, shitpost, my life and all that stuff.

- poetry🌼: self explanatory. It's the poetry i write or me talking about poetry.

- politics🌼: anything that has to do w activism, sensibilization about an issue, spreading information and everything that has to do with politics in general.

- fandom🌼: posts that regard the fandoms i'm in, obvs.

- 🌼fanculo la destra🌼: usually posts in italian that rant against conservative leaning posts or videos or whatever. It literally just means: "fuck the right wing/conservatives."

- 🌾HC🌾: posts about The Catcher In The Rye and Holden Caulfield SPECIFICALLY.

- hist-talk👓: me being an history nerd and/or reblogs about history ^^

- lit-talk👓: same as per "hist-talk👓" but it's about books and literature, what i'm currently reading, etc. and not just poetry. Usually goes hand in hand w "daya-analyses🩵".

- wr.🪶: me talking about the novels/books i write, posts/memes about being a writer, writing advice, my OC's, memes about them etc.

- daya-analyses🩵: it's for when i try to analyze media and It's symbolism, usually books but also movies, tv shows, poetry, videogames etc. Or just me talking about symbolism and analysis and how to recognize them.

•∘˙⊹. ꒰ঌ ᧔ෆ᧓ ໒꒱ .⊹˙∘•

[lithium-oleander]

Smoked my first cigarette ever. Everyday i become more and more like Holden 😭

look at this nice purple lighter uuuuh ^_^

(for anyone worried: It was just one time, i'm not going to start smoking. I didin't really even feel anything)

[lithium-oleander]

the moment i stepped outside my house the first thunder exploded.

a sign to never get out ever again?

[lithium-oleander]

sertraline? sertraline!!

[lithium-oleander]

I think humans should sleep way more than they already do and taking naps during worktime or in school should be accepted and embraced as the norm, actually.

[lithium-oleander]

Today i'll bring The Catcher In The Rye to the therapy book club and talk about SA trauma and PTSD to everyone involved.

Wish me good luck!

[lithium-oleander]

I changed my Tumblr profile.

Don't worry, it will happen again.

[lionofchaeronea]

Soir Bleu, Edward Hopper, 1914

[himandhymn]

i want to see how holdens lungs and liver are doing because with the amount he drinks and smokes in citr i wouldnt be surprised he's already suffering the consequences 2 weeks after the main events

[lithium-oleander]

it's curious, he also barely eats anything (to the point i wouldn't be surprised if he had an ED) and barely even sleeps or rests.

Probably it's Salinger hinting at him being mentally ill and stressed over and over again, and some forms of mental conditions either make you very hungry or very, well, not. It's that and TB holding hands probably.

His body truly is living the horrors.

[lithium-oleander]

Psychiatrist: so, do these big mood swings come from a reason?

me: no, they don't. perhaps there can be a trigger word or something like that, it takes nothing for me to smash my head against a wall and think i have no future ahead of me. I'm desperate. It's very internal, and once it boils up just fine, it takes nothing for it to erupt.

Psychiatrist: so they do come from a reason or extrernal factors.

me: umh... no, i just told you. I realize that it's something that's not given by any outside factors, my emotions just need to find the littlest excuse to-

Psychiatrist: what if your friends actually influence you and you're fine.

me: ...what?

Psychiatrist: well maybe you don't actually need lithium, maybe your friends are the ones convincing you you do.

A real convo i had with her today.

[lithium-oleander]

The problem i see with how people view history are mainly two:

- they sincerely believe that people from the past were "stupid" and that we are the "smart ones". That they were inherently cruel and bigotted as a whole and that we, as a whole, are progressive and welcoming (same mistake people have made for centuries lmao)

- they also believe that cultures did not influence each other, they seem to think that Europe and Asia did not "mix" ideologies, fashion and trends, they think of, idk, medieval or victorian Europe as a monolith and "untouched" by external factors and phenomenons. They don't seem to think that there were immigrants in ancient Europe (they were, and a lot, especially in port cities and sea countries and islands/peninsulas), they don't think black or asian nobles or aristocracy existed and ruled on European territory (they did, and not even a few), and so on.

They don't seem to be able to make links between their society and our society now, which i think is what prevents us from understanding humanity and historical people the most.

[lithium-oleander]

I've seen people being like "oh if you aren't a pedophile by being attracted to lolis then you also shouldn't consider yourself gay if you're attracted by a fictional man character!"

Let's start by the concept that "attraction", when it comes to fiction, is much more complicated than attraction in real life. But i still firmly believe that, if you have only felt attracted to women your whole life as a man and you only felt once or twice romantically attracted to a dude (THAT'S ALSO FICTIONAL MIND YOU), you don't need to identify as bisexual. To me, you're still straight.

And people are also focusing on the wrong thing again and again: if you're a pedophile, in the sense that you feel sexually attracted to children, that's ok. It's ok to have a paraphilia, you can't control it. The important thing is that you are NOT a predator and if you don't act on your attraction, but crime thoughts do not exist and will never exist. And fiction is the safest way in which you can channel your attraction without actually hurting anyone.

[depsidase]

[lithium-oleander]

Me: Oh cool! a YouTube shorts channel that focuses on posts about girlhood, sounds nice! let's see what kind of pos-

....oh. oh ok. Jeez. What the fuck. "trans idenyifying men"???

Well, let's also check other po-

oh you have to be fucking kidding me. Trans mysoginy AND racism?? typical radfem terf bullshit.

[lumbarpuncturre]

Ou nah Holden don't cry bruh

[etoile-perverse]

i fear censorship is black or white, actually. you either think that censorship is okay or you don't, there's no exceptions. you cannot be "anti-censorship except for these things i don't like", because guess what? you're not anti-censorship if you're actively calling for censorship. you're just a pro-censorship hypocrite trying to be progressive.

you'd think that this would be common sense, honestly.

[lithium-oleander]

Ur not a real freak if you are scandalized at people having sex in public spaces. And no i don't mean randomly out in public that's not it, i mean in a car, or in a forest or an abandoned building, yk places that are a bit isolated but are still public by definition.