Lito's True Hollygrove Stories

If you can't make gumbo don't reblog shit

[lito-thegawd]

Mannie Fresh Could Walk On Water

Na do you have more riches than the sea got fishes/

Can you do more broads than the feds got snitches/

See i ride Lexus land with the tv playing/

Getting head shake a fed with the phone in my hand/ — fyi this Q93 version.

That right there was my first introduction to my lord and savior Mannie Fresh. My older cousin told me, “he made the beat too.” The song was “get your shine on”. I was in 7th grade. My mind was blown. Who the fuck was this magical guy? This unicorn? A real patron Saint with a ‘fro (before Webbie) that hung with dirty uptown niggas. What a human.

I know you bitches can’t stand me /

Lexus with the candy blowing on blunts sipping on brandy/

Now that’s a good car paw paw cleaner than you ever saw/

Oh shit. This nigga funny too. Who is this man? I need to know more. I found out Mannie was from the 7th ward. I was an underprivileged kid from uptown that never left uptown. I ain’t even know where the 7th ward was in ‘97. Shit was like a whole new world. I asked my momma to bring me to the 7th ward that weekend. I got a happy meal from McDonald’s on St. Bernard and Broad that Saturday. Asked the McDonald’s employee if Fresh was around. He told he was in East over. Thought to myself what the fuck is a east over. This was a good start but I needed to know more. Asked my momma to bring me East over. We pull up. Yo this nigga had a guard at the front bro. We couldn’t get in. I knew he was a legend. Then I heard Mannie say...

“Have you ever met a baller in yo whole damn life/

With plenty money, plenty bitches and a whole lotta ice/

I’m that nigga mane, the one they talking about/

I’m that nigga mane, with the big ass house/

Hold up.. this nigga rich? Seventh grade me was tryna elect Fresh as President of this whole shit. Dawg rapping, he funny, he making beats, and this nigga rich? I later found in 1998 when his grand father passed, he left him with a Monte Carlo and whole lot of cash. Picture this... his shit was bubble gum blue with leather plush seats. Nigga. Come. On. What more you want? But wait... there’s more. He also had an illegal regal it was so tight.. and if you touched it the whole 7th ward was fin ride. Bro if you touched mans car the entire hood was coming out. This man was turned the 7 into the fruit of Islam. Everything basically checked out.

Back up for the most spectacular, cakestackular/

Performance like Acura, got these hoes scared like Dracula/

How you love that diamond bezel/

Blinding everything in this bitch when i hit the champezzle/

This MF spitting dawg. He making up words. The nigga a vampire. He creating words. What can’t this man do? Did you know that even his moniker has a double meaning? You didn’t huh? Lemme show you bro/sis. Bro-sis.

Mannie Fresh

Mannie

Fresh

Man

e

Fresh.

Man

He

Fresh.

O-M-G

You ain’t even see that huh? You ain’t had the vision dawg. Mannie did the math my g. He was stuntin even when he wasn’t. Damn that’s hard.

Fresh went on to create the soundtrack to my life... 400 degreez. Because I too eat, sleep, shit and talk rap. I’m forever grateful. I also gotta mention he was the engine between Cash Money Records. Countless albums. Countless songs. He also made “boom boom clap” a famous saying to start a Jeezy song. A magical human. Last but not least.. Mannie taught me multiple lessons in believing in myself. Mannie was the first man I heard call himself beautiful. Mannie , said he came from a city where the girls is alright and the niggas is pretty”. This man a modern day non racist Dr. Seuss. Fresh would give you the beat, a verse and a hook. Boy was a one stop shop. A musical eco system if you will. Fresh the Lebron James of Production. Boy gonna give you whatever it take to win the championship. You see how i tied that in? @Espn y’all hiring? What I’m saying is Fresh is the best beat maker this side of earth. Go debate ya bald head maw.

Take me baby to the motel/

When we're finished you can go tell /

Teresa, Lisa, and Dawn/

How we got butt-naked and got it on/

How I split ya, hit ya and brung ya home/

Stole ya chains and rings and herringbone/ <——- ❤️romance

The writer would like to add he did ultimately get access to the 7th ward. Triangle deli and the blue store never lead me astray. Eastover is also a pillar of the eastern lands. I’ve now been multiple times. Thank you for everything Mannie.

- the Gawd, amen, gone

[lito-thegawd]

That Jussie’s a Wild Boy

You know I maybe shouldn’t even be mad. It’s my own fault really. Who would trust a guy named “Jussie” anyway? But, Damn jusse during black history month?!!! What the fuck was you thinking dawg. What in the Jussie. I’m hearing you was mad about 120k an episode. Why bruh? Why? We need answers dawg. We was fuckin with you. You had the world. The world Jus. These internet activists slammed their keyboards in disgust behind this my g. Son you got the LGBT community and black people pressure up over nothing. Both communities was ready to fuck shit up. My son you the worst crook ever. Stay in your lane dawg. Don’t cross over to crime. You won’t win. Can’t sing your way out. The craziest part is I think this means you can’t act (shout out big liche) bruh. You a bad actor dawg. You fumbled the fuck out this. Son you wrote a check. Jussie. Dawg.. *exhales* baby bro a check? A back dated check. For a crime?!! To cash?!!! *insert soulja boy gif here* damn son the wild part is.... when you went to subway i believed that shit. I rode with you. I said , “ damn Jussie I’m always hungry at 2 am too. You just wanted to eat fresh. I understand King”. Because I thought i could be leaving Waffle House and somebody could be wilding with the bleach. I could see me getting bleached too Jus. . A threat to me eating food?!! Hell no bruh. We gotta act. I lied to myself about your hunger dawg. You wasn’t even hungry. That hurt. For all us 2am hungry folk that hurt the most. That’s the real crime.

I pray you don’t see the big house my dawg. People lie about stuff all the time. Most time it don’t involve them getting beat up by people in maga hats though. Speaking of... Fam. You hired two Nigerians to “act” as “maga-terians” ? Y’all like that? Just made that shit up on the spot. Was all the white con men out of business that week? Plan better my brother. You got all the trump supporters looking at us funny in the light. Honestly you can burn your career however you’d like. My only problem are the people who are actually involved in hate crimes. Now they’ll have an even tougher time being heard. That’s my only problem. Anyways Plaxico shot himself in a club trying to dance with the hammer. That ain’t had shit to do with this, just felt like i should mention. Good night.

[lito-thegawd]

Abducted in Plain sight: Documentary Review

Abducted in Plain Sight is a Netflix show. It’s about a family in Idaho and the evil they befriend. The Broberg family consist of Jan Broberg, Bob Broberg, Mary Ann Broberg, Karen Campbell, Susan Broberg. The story also centers around Robert “B” Bertchtold. Literally the most bizarre shit I have ever watched. “B” is married to Gayle, and the couple has 5 kids. Their names? I have no idea. The documentary possibly told us, but I was much too wrapped up in B’s conniving pedophila. This guy was the original pied piper of “R&B”. You see B lived a double life, one in which he loved children in a way only a pedophile could. B moved into the Broberg’s neighborhood in 1972. B was really charming guy, and that’s an understatement. After the meeting with the Broberg’s the first time, B mailed a card. It said, “I enjoyed your family”. They didn’t have a clue what was coming. Bob Broberg was thrilled about the card. He said, “B was a sharp guy”. After rewatching the documentary, I see that Bob may have had the hots for B. The signs were there. Me personally I’m thinking, don’t enjoy my family bruh. Hell wrong with you.

B took a special liking to Jan. He adopted a “Get Jan or Die Trying Mentality. He really didn’t give a fuck about who stood in his way either. My wife? Pshh. My kids? Fuck them kids. It’s all about Jan, baby. B would pick the Bertchtold kids up in the mornings. For what? I have no idea. B kept recordings of his inner most thoughts about Jan. During one of these recordings he admitted to kissing and telling Jan he loved her. Bertchtold laid his pedo game down flat. He wasn’t even trying to hid the shit. He called Mary Ann Broberg one morning and said, “I want to take Jan out horseback riding”. Mary Ann was hesitant, but Jan was persistent about going. Eventually Mary Ann concedes. This was 1974. On the drive to the stables B gives Jan an “allergy pill”. We later find out it was a sleeping pill. Instead of taking Jan horseback riding he abducts Jan for the first time. Yes, the first time. Stick with me. Jan doesn’t make it home that night. Under advice from Gayle Bertchtold they do not alert the authorities. They actually waited days before getting the law involved. They didn’t want to upset Gayle. *insert blank stare*. 5 days go on and the FBI were eventually contacted.

Fast forward. The FBI gets involved, and starts digging into the Bertchtold’s life. We get to meet Joe Bertchtold, who basically told us his brother wasn’t shit. Joe explains that B attempted to molest his younger sister when he was 12. Jan gives us a flash back before the abduction about sleeping at the Bertchtold’s. She recalls waking up panties around her ankles with B touching her. He explained that she tossed and turned all night. That’s the reason her panties were down. B didn’t just want Jan though. B wanted to divide and conquer the whole family. B went at Mary Ann’s neck. Spoon feeding her compliments. Next thing you know B was feeling up ole Mary Ann. Boy was she excited about it. Mary Anne was hot and spicy over Bertchtold. Here’s where the ride gets tricky. One day B went to visit Mr. Broberg at work. He goes on to tell Bob that his wife not upping that cat how he like. My man told Bob let’s go for a ride bruh. He goes on to explain that he needs to have sex. Now remember earlier when I noted that Mr. Broberg was hot in the pants over B? Yea. So B asks Mr. Bob, “can you give me some relief?” This shit is honestly shocking. Mr. Bob goes ahead and give B a good old fashioned band job. Bruh.. this shit is insane. Yes. You read that right. Mr. Broberg beats that mans meat in the front seat on lunch. B was playing Bob. All this shit was to get Jan.

While B has Jan abducted he inputs a white box in the motor home he is keeping her in. The box relays an alien voice. The voice tells Jan she has a mission. The mission is to have a baby by a male companion by the time she turned 16, who is later revealed to be B. Zeta and Zethra revealed that Jan was part alien. If Jan did not complete this mission her sister Susan would take her place. Aliens also explain that if the mission isn’t completed they will kill her family. So from this point Jan thinks she’s an alien. She can’t get close to her dad. She can’t talk to her family. B marries Jan in Mexico. She was 12. Eventually the FBI find Bob and Jan in Mexico, he is arrested and she is transferred home.

Damage was done. Jan believes she has a mission to complete. She hates her family. B somehow got Jan’s Mom to put this girl on a plane and send her to B in Utah. WYLD. Bruh her moms was dumb as a box of rocks. Some where in the story Jan gets back. B continues to contact Mary Ann. Mary was already curious about B. So he asked her what that cat was about. She showed him. He basically used this to split the family up. B convinced Mary Ann to move out. She was gone. That outside dick keep them hoes sick. Keep in mind this is after he fucked her husband and Molested her child. Mrs. Broberg still decided to pop it for B. That’s a wild girl. Baby left the whole family for the pedo peen. Mean while ole B called Bob, Mary’s husband. B’s telling him I’m going to take your kids away etc etc. Mary Ann comes back to her senses, she goes back home. B get his wife Gayle to meet with the Broberg’s. She had them sign affidavits saying, B and Mr. Broberg engaged in the horizontal mambo. All charges were dropped. This man basically was waking around Scott free. I think he spent 10 days in Jail after kid napping Jan 3 times. Eventually Jan turns 16 and not pregnant. She starts to realize B lied about her not being an alien. Sigh. B eventually does get arrested for posing as a CIA agent. He forges paperwork saying he’s Jan’s parent and enrolls her in a catholic school. This violated his parole. B was acquitted on kidnapping charges due to mental defect. White privilege is a mother. Never mind.

Boom. Fast forward years later. Jan and her good for nothing maw release a book about the experience. B threatens to sue them. Jan files an injunction. Jan sees B for the first time in 30 years in court. Bertchtold tells Jan to her face this story is an out right lie. B denied all accounts of the story while looking Jan in the face. A total piece of shit scum bag. The pedo privilege was so enormous in B, that he confronted Jan at a woman’s conference. B drive up to the Conference and ran over Jan’s security. Bertchtold was arrested and charged with 2 felonies and 2 misdemeanors. Found guilty in court and scheduled for sentencing. B decided to commit suicide rather than sit in jail. Good riddance.

Honestly you will just need to watch this doc. It was really too wild and bizarre for me to summarize. I felt like I needed to tell the story back to convince myself of what I watched. There’s no proper ending. The end.

[lito-thegawd]

The Un-fyre Fest: T’was not lit

Where’s Ja?! Where’s Ja Rule? These words are a constant in my head. Sometimes I like to sit by myself and think, “I wonder what would Ja Rule think about this.” Rule was the North Star this whole time. Jeffery Atkins was meant to lead us to the promise land. The only problem was Rule got caught up with a Scammer named Billy.

Billy. Bill. Will. William. Big Willie The Scam Gawd. The Mao Zedong of the scam game. Once Joanna The Scammer reigned on the Mount Rushmore of Scams. Bill would literally scam circles around Jo, and that’s the God’s honest truth. My guy Bill is a compulsive liar. That’s a good start. Bill lies about shit.. a lot. Like a lot a lot. Not like little white lies, like astronomical turning 40 into 4million type lies. Bill was out there selling water to Whales/Wells (get Hov on the line to ask him which it is)

WHITE PRIVILEGE IS A MOTHER FUCKER

If you’re wondering, yes. I watched both documentaries. Netflix was the better of the two. The message obtained from both documentaries.... White Privilege is a mother fucker. Goddamn. Bro. Imagine doing the most outrageous shit you could think of. Now picture the nerve in knowing no matter what you’ll get the most lenient sentence out there. White Privilege is a hell of a drug. No lie I kind of wish they sold White Privilege on the street. I’d take a hit that shit for sure. To be fair it’s not Bill’s fault he’s a greedy bastard. He can take solace knowing America was built on capitalism. The kid is misunderstood just like Lord Voldemort.

Honestly Billy had some great ideas. Seriously, the “magnises” idea was low key genius. A black card for millennials? A club house that comes with the membership? Discounted amounts off of things like concert tickets, clothes etc? Shit man I would actually sign up for that. Not to mention the Fyre media app. Basically one concentrated place to book talent? Again another great idea. The problem? The boy Bill’s execution was high key basura. Maybe top 5 worst planners of all time. Scammers don’t plan. They scam. Do you ask a dolphin why it swims? An eagle why it flys? No. Con artists are gonna con.

I remember being on twitter when the outrage of Fyre fest hit its peak. I can honestly say I didn’t feel an ounce of sadness for the festival goers. Something about rich white folk getting scammed out of excess money made my day. Reason being? If somebody wanted to pay thousands of dollars to see Blink 182 as a headliner in 2017; who am I to stop you? Billy didn’t even steal that money. They just gave that shit away. Secondly, nothing about going to Pablo Escobar’s private island sounds sexy to me. Maybe because I grew up in the hood and have an understanding of violence. Yes I know Pablo is dead but I saw narcos, and one can never be too sure. Thirdly, y’all flew to Exuma to play with swimming pigs? Nope. I don’t play with my food. Those pigs looked delicious. Why would I feed bacon?

GREED IS A MOTHERFUCKER

Everything around Billy was falling apart. His connects fell through. He was losing money. His staff told him to call off the fest. Do you know what Bill said? Bill said No way. I’m just going to scam harder. SCAM HARDER. Bill start making calls to fest goers to deposit money on these fest bands. Which again is not a bad idea. Execution? Yikes. When Kanye West made “All Falls Down”. This what he was referring to in the future. Damn, ‘Ye just might be Walt Disney. Trill Bill had people sleeping in Hurricane Katrina tents. I know because I slept in a Katrina tent. You can’t pull a fast one on me Bill. Air mattresses and tents without circulation? Sounds like jail to me. Then when the picture of sandwich was tweeted out, I knew for sure Bill was the feds. Kraft singles slices on White? What a fucking terrorists.

All in all the only people I genuinely felt sad for were the workers. To put in that much time in and not get paid is fucked up. It sounded exactly like slavery. Never mind. Let me just end this article before I get in trouble. Also I felt bad for the Popeyes lady who gave her saving away to her workers. She is a much better person than I. I would’ve hit everybody with a Jordan Shrug. I don’t know where your money is, baby. I totally do not feel bad for the influencers, brand companies, Fyre media employees etc. They all enabled William to get to these extremes. For instance there’s a part in the documentary where drinking water is confiscated by the government. Bill has a gay employee. Bill suggests to said employee to go down to the office and get the water back. Bill advises he should give up that sloppy toppy. He tells that man because he’s gay, that he should seduce the official. He employs his employee to give up the heady Murphy. The super dome. That Rita Oral. The crazy thing is the guy “gets his mouth ready” in order to get the water back. Thankfully the official gave him the water and the employee didn’t have to resort to “neckcrophilia”.

Fast forward. Bill gets off the island after everything crumbles. Gets arrested for all kind of fraudulent shit. Bails out. Comes right back home and finds another scam. Being committed to fraud >>>>>. There’s a conference call with the Fyre app employees after they all get home. Ja Rule is on this call. One of the employees brings up the fact the company has been fraudulent. Ja says, “no that’s not fraud. That’s not fraud. We just aren’t telling the whole truth”. For the first time in a long time I wasn’t mad at 50 Cent. Bill is currently serving 6 years in prison. 6. *insert blank stare* White Privilege is a motherfucker.

- Lito

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo-ddYhXAZc

[lito-thegawd]

Bird Box Review

Aight so boom.

I’m gonna get straight to the point. If you’re like me you can’t escape “the bird box” phenomenon. Shit sweeping the nation dawg. It’s people talking about this movie who I thought only watch Madea (Tyler Perry you can go to hell dawg). I legit didn’t know y’all knew they had movies that didn’t have black men in a dress. Oh It’s getting spicy in this motherfucker. Oh yea. Y’all hate this movie like it’s your dad you never met. I’ve seen people call this movie the worst movie ever. Funny to ya boy. That would mean “Takers” was never made. I’m still mad Chris Brown front flipped over a 20ft gate. That movie was bad. Like bad. But Aye I’m on fandango yesterday, right. I see Will Ferrell has a new movie. That mother fucker has a 0 rating. I can’t even make that up. I felt so bad for Will bruh.

Bird Box started and I immediately knew the ending. It’s Sandy and her new nose and these two little kids in a house. She was giving them little kids a pep talk. That was a sign that everybody else was dead. Spoiler Alert: I was not wrong. So let’s get this straight. The movie wasn’t trash per say. I’ve seen a lot worse. Did y’all see me mention takers? Because boy he flipped..Never mind. They should have given more context about whatever the hell is going in the wind. Let’s step back just a bit. The whole premise of the movie is that some fucking wind blows. Next thing you know you’re doing some wild shit. You can’t control it. It’s like some neurological monster that controls you. Whatever you fear you have it consumes you. Is that accurate ? Shit. I dunno it felt accurate. Let’s go with that. Most of the movie the characters eyes are covered. In every house we see the windows are boarded and covered. There’s even a scene where ole boy drives a car where the windows are painted. He basically drove that hoe in Stevie Wonder mode. I dunno dawg. Don’t ask me. So a wind monster you can’t look at is the villain. However their are some people the wind controls that are still normal. It’s weird. Which is where the birds come into play. You gotta keep some birds around because those little fucks can sense “the wind”. Brazy right? Not as brazy as this though... there are two black men in the movie who don’t die first. Mind blown? I know. I know. 2018 we really progressing as far as ethnic movie deaths go.

Rod from Tsa who goes by Charlie in this movie might’ve been the best character. Guess what? Rod dead. He died in a freezer, baby. It was fucked up too. Charlie knew the grocery store had grub there because he had just locked it up. Charlie didn’t even want to take that ride. The nice black guy made him. Aye Trevante got heaven points. Ain’t no black man ever gonna be that trustworthy during an apocalypse. You can’t even ask a black man to use a phone charger. He’ll ask you for your whole social as collateral. That boy Trevante was a good human being. Thats why he is dead. Spoiler alert. But before he died he did get some of Sandy’s pancake. That thing was flat flat too. To be fair for a 50 year old white lady Sandra Bullock looks pretty good. John Malkovich was the realest mother fuckin person in the movie. He was me. I ain’t trusting none of y’all. If the world was ending today and I had nothing but room, it’s gonna be my dead ass alone in the all rooms. Open the door? Bitch is you crazy? I’m sorry beloved. Human nature is to survive. John Malkovich can survive with me any day. Honestly none of the other characters are important. No disrespect. They dead anyway so what are they gonna tell me.

Let me tell y’all the funniest part of the whole movie. Sandra had a son. We never find out who the dad is. Sandra is also traveling with a little girl. The girl was for the creepy pregnant lady. She deserved to die really. No love lost. Anyway Sandra named these kids “boy” and “girl”. Bruh Sandra ain’t give 0 fucks about them chirren. The funny part is Sandra warns the kids one of them is gonna have to look out and guide her. Sandra is blind folded as she is driving the boat. Her son says, “I’ll do it”. Sandra was like nahhhhh. Let’s let the girl die. Haha. They all survived. They found a school for the blind. Plot twist. Blind people out here living swell on you seeing fucks. Long story short keep some birds around bruh.

[lito-thegawd]

WingStop Fatboy Need A 10pc.

“Lookin’ at my bitch I bet she give your ass a bone/
Lookin’ at my wrist it’ll turn your ass to stone/
Stretch limousine, sipping Rosé all alone/
Double-headed monster with a mind of his own/
Cherry red chariot, excess is just my character/
All black tux, nigga shoes lavender/

Never needed acceptance from all you outsiders/

Had cyphers with ‘Yeezy before his mouth wired/

I mean the guitar was going insane and then boom! This big fat black dude came in like an overweight superhero. Those 8 bars rang in like a bomb. That shit came off soo perfect sorta of like, “a hot comb over nappy ass hair”. Shout out Antwan Patton! That’s a hell of an introduction, yea. Whatever that was I needed more of, and I’ll be goddamn if he ain’t provide it.

Ross tap danced all over this song. He came with the fury and vigor of an angry sumo wrestler. Who also had the grace of and style of a gymnast. William’s lines were so vivid and life like. He was a sniper with 28 bars of ammunition. Ross showed no mercy and was incredibly meticulous how he stepped in and out of the pocket. Each line was like Piccaso in his prime toying with a canvas.

“hater talking never made me mad/
Never that not when I’m in my favorite papertag/
Therefore G4’s at the Clearport/
When it come to tools fool I’m a Pep Boy/
When it came to dope I was quick to export/
Never tired of ballin’ so it’s on to the next sport/
New Mercedes sedan, the Lex sport/
So many cars DMV thought it was mail fraud/
Different traps, I was getting mail from/
Polk County, Jacksonville, rep Melbourne/
Whole clique appetite’s had tapeworms/
Spinning Teddy Pendergrass vinyl as my J burns/“

TALK THAT SHIT ROSS! I can literally feel these words flowing through my veins as I transcribe them. The sequences of ignoring haters, flossing cars, and being a drug king pin was too much for me. As a listener I always enjoy when the writer can bring me into his life. Whether true or not. All I know is Ross is the biggest boss we’ve seen thus far. Personally I’m fine with that. I’ve often said if I had to donate a song to a time capsule for the future… Yea. This is my song. This shit is a crown jewel. It’s a moment in rap history where everything was perfect. The beat was flawless. Ye’s initial verse was stellar. Ross’s guest feature was the tip of the iceberg. It’s funny because my A.D.D. usually won’t let me take in 28 bars. It’s just too much. Not this time though. He probably could’ve gave me 36 bars. Not a complaint would’ve been spoken.

“I shed a tear before the night’s over/
God bless the man I put this ice over/
Getting 2Pac money twice over/
Still a real nigga, red Coogi sweater, dice roller/
I’m making love to the angel of death/
Catching feelings never stumble, retracing my steps/”

Chills. Literally. Fucking chills. We do not deserve William Roberts. YOU MAKING LOVE TO THE ANGEL OF DEATH? Shit. Tell me more Ross. What does she look like? She bad? I seriously have never been curious about the angel of death until this verse. Rip Pac. Rip Big. Ross in my top 10. I’m yelling that last sentence from Mt. Olympus. I generally listen to this on repeat. 4 or 5 of them if we’re being specific. I suggest you do the same.

- The gawd

Best of Rick Ross playlist below.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/wing-stop-fat-boy-need-a-10-pc/pl.f9db7cda37b84a2392d9f05eb75b3655

[lito-thegawd]

WingStop Fatboy Need A 10pc.

“Lookin' at my bitch I bet she give your ass a bone/
Lookin' at my wrist it'll turn your ass to stone/
Stretch limousine, sipping Rosé all alone/
Double-headed monster with a mind of his own/
Cherry red chariot, excess is just my character/
All black tux, nigga shoes lavender/

Never needed acceptance from all you outsiders/

Had cyphers with ‘Yeezy before his mouth wired/

I mean the guitar was going insane and then boom! This big fat black dude came in like an overweight superhero. Those 8 bars rang in like a bomb. That shit came off soo perfect sorta of like, “a hot comb over nappy ass hair”. Shout out Antwan Patton! That’s a hell of an introduction, yea. Whatever that was I needed more of, and I’ll be goddamn if he ain’t provide it.

Ross tap danced all over this song. He came with the fury and vigor of an angry sumo wrestler. Who also had the grace and style of a gymnast. William’s lines were so vivid and life like. He was a sniper with 28 bars of ammunition. Ross showed no mercy and was incredibly meticulous how he stepped in and out of the pocket. Each line was like Piccaso in his prime toying with a canvas.

“hater talking never made me mad/
Never that not when I'm in my favorite papertag/
Therefore G4's at the Clearport/
When it come to tools fool I'm a Pep Boy/
When it came to dope I was quick to export/
Never tired of ballin' so it's on to the next sport/
New Mercedes sedan, the Lex sport/
So many cars DMV thought it was mail fraud/
Different traps, I was getting mail from/
Polk County, Jacksonville, rep Melbourne/
Whole clique appetite's had tapeworms/
Spinning Teddy Pendergrass vinyl as my J burns/“

TALK THAT SHIT ROSS! I can literally feel these words flowing through my veins as I transcribe them. The sequences of ignoring haters, flossing cars, and being a drug king pin was too much for me. As a listener I always enjoy when the writer can bring me into his life. Whether true or not. All I know is Ross is the biggest boss we’ve seen thus far. Personally I’m fine with that. I’ve often said if I had to donate a song to a time capsule for the future... Yea. This is my song. This shit is a crown jewel. It’s a moment in rap history where everything was perfect. The beat was flawless. Ye’s initial verse was stellar. Ross’s guest feature was the tip of the iceberg. It’s funny because my A.D.D. usually won’t let me take in 28 bars. It’s just too much. Not this time though. He probably could’ve gave me 36 bars. Not a complaint would’ve been spoken.

“I shed a tear before the night's over/
God bless the man I put this ice over/
Getting 2Pac money twice over/
Still a real nigga, red Coogi sweater, dice roller/
I'm making love to the angel of death/
Catching feelings never stumble, retracing my steps/”

Chills. Literally. Fucking chills. We do not deserve William Roberts. YOU MAKING LOVE TO THE ANGEL OF DEATH? Shit. Tell me more Ross. What does she look like? She bad? I seriously have never been curious about the angel of death until this verse. Rip Pac. Rip Big. Ross in my top 10. I’m yelling that last sentence from Mt. Olympus. I generally listen to this on repeat. 4 or 5 of them if we’re being specific. I suggest you do the same.

- The gawd

Best of Rick Ross playlist below.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/wing-stop-fat-boy-need-a-10-pc/pl.f9db7cda37b84a2392d9f05eb75b3655

[lito-thegawd]

Success is... ???

“Find your purpose or you wastin' air” - Nip Hussle The Great <—— what you here for?

Success with a question mark is suspect as hell. I already know. Shit, I even sighed as I read it. As a 33 year old black man I’m often thinking about success. More so how do I measure success. MY success. My in all caps because everybody has an opinion about it. Which leads back to the original question.. What metric do you use to measure it?

To be honest I really don’t give a fuck anymore. I mean this is in the most respectful way, yea. Dawg society puts so much pressure on you to fit into whatever ‘lil box they see you in. Don’t box me in pleighboi. For me.. College was a waste.. I had so much fun though. So much. Nah like a lot. That’s personally for me. I can’t speak for you. I’m not tryna steal your degree thunder. Relax big fella. I feel like I really went to college because my momma wanted me to. Oh and the girls. Ohh wee the girls. But now I’m in debt for me. Fuck Sallie Mae. That ain’t shit do with this. Just felt like I should mention. You decided what you deem as successful. I used to want that Warren Buffet bread. Now i realized that I’m good with being comfortable doing something I love doing making average money. I’ve gotten the bag before at a gig doing something I hate. Miserable feeling. Shout out Enteprise rent a car. I don’t miss you.

The problem with taking on your parents vision for you is that...... well..... they aren’t you. Their vision isn’t your vision. Different time. Different generation. The way out in my parents time was school. My momma wants me to be a lawyer. I appreciate all the potential she sees in me. I’m not a lawyer dawg. 4 years of school was enough for me. I did what i came to do. I attempted to be a 9 to 5er and live this American dream shit. Hey man.. fuck that American dream. It ain’t for me. I sorta feel foolish because I’ve been lying to myself. As a person who wants to be as real and transparent as possible.. I lied to myself. Listen to me. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. Fuck how anybody feel about your dream. You know we really give up our dream at the drop of a hat. We get discourage and be “like man fuck it”. I read a quote once that said, “A job pays a salary in exchange for you to give up your dream”. That shit is ILL. *Public Service Announcement* I’m

Not telling you to quit your job. We actually need employees. The economy trash. I’m not telling you jobs are bad. I’m not on some Dame Dash shit saying if you’re an employee you’re weak. Nah. Being content in not wanting better for yourself is weak. Jobs are good. Jobs pay bills. Living a dream is hard. A job is safe. Honestly people have families safe is cool. Safe ain’t your dream though. Choose wisely my friend.

To be fair to my parents. I ain’t know what the hell I wanted to do. Most time bruh.. I still don’t. I’m full of potential. Potential get you fired though; because most time you don’t have time to fulfill it. I just lied to y’all. I know exactly what I want to do. 🗣EVERYTHING. I want to rap. I want to write. I want to direct shit. I want to create. I’m a creator. I finally realized that 10 years out college. I was able to figure this out talking to my girl about my future. I realized when I’m not creating shit I feel depressed. I never knew I was depressed. I’m happy as fuck how am i depressed? I realized that it’s okay to say you’re depressed. It’s okay to admit it. Acknowledge it. Fuck it. Try and fix it. Keep it real with yourself and yourself will keep it real with answers. It’s funny because people look at me like I have my shit together. LOL. Dawg.. I’m really out here winging the hell out life. The wind blows me that way I go. I had no plan after graduating college. Didn’t think I’d live to see 25. So I didn’t plan for it. Not because I was living any kinda life. But nobody where I’m from was going to college and doing shit. Nobody. Maybe I’m the exception to that rule. Maybe God saw something in me. Maybe you’re that exception too. So fuck it. Here WE are to prove God right. I had no plans on writing this tonight. My fingers just started moving. Maybe you needed to read this. I hope these words find you and put you where you need to be. I could elaborate and keep going but you know what gotta do. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

- GAWD. AMEN. GONE.

[lito-thegawd]

Juvenile Cares If Don’t Nobody Else Care

Whoadayyyyyyy🔥🔥🔥

This has been on my mind for a very long time. I really have tried to write this article 3 times. An ongoing attempt over the span of years to be honest. The first time was about 10 years ago. Sitting on Louisiana Ave Parkway had a random thought Popeyes. Because well..Popeyes are where all great thoughts start. Shout out to Al Copeland. One time for a heaven sent Angel. God bless you bro. I’m going to take this high cholesterol to the grave all for the love of spicy titty meat. That’s here nor there though. The thought came because Juvie has a line that says, “Popeyes for the ballers, the ghetto still eating churches”. Y’all don’t know the reverberations that line had on me. My momma used to bring home the family box every Friday night. My daddy used to take us to the Popeyes buffet on Carrollton. We used to punish that shit. It got to the point when the Buffett seen me coming they started putting chicken up. This ain’t a game. What you think I’m playing? Juvenile had me thinking my people was rich bruh

Honestly I feel like Juvenile-Nino is the greatest humanitarian of our time. Let’s step back right quick. My first indoctrination into the Juvie army was “bounce for the juvenile”.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XG0NTB3TVDI

Being from New Orleans bounce music was a right of passage. Honestly... i hated it. I didn’t get it... until I was a teenager and saw girls “catch the Wall”. But long before that I heard Juvie say, “Hey diddle with the Cat in the middle. Check out the juvenile while I bust this riddle”. Hold on now you got my attention pleighboi. Let’s point out a couple more highlights from this masterpiece. “Trick stop talking that it and buy juvenile his outfit. I want a shive Gold shirt. Polo socks. Girbaud shorts and a pair of Reebok’s”. 🌶 <——- that means hot and spicy for future reference. FYI Y’all have no idea how dope an outfit that was in the 90s.

Shout out to Joel Roussell. He won’t read this but I gotta represent for him. He’s not dead y’all just not on social media. Relax.

Before every biddy basketball game Joel used to make us listen to Soulja Rags. I’d like to point out we was city champs that year. So don’t tell me shit about Juvenile. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TFbpuuIZYZM

This is when i really figured out that Juvie Cares. Dawg... once the helicopter start at the beginning of the song I lose my mind every time. Every single time. This song meant so much to me I had it on tape. You ever recorded something on a cassette? No. Your lil young ass could possibly never understand the dire straights went to hear this song. Honestly.. before this song no rapper ever asked me questions. No other rapper ever cared about how I felt. No rapper wanted to know about my well being. It was like a spiritual rap awakening. Juve’s questions were so in-depth it’s as if he knew if my days were good or bad. I started wondering, “what if Juvenile is my guardian angel”. It’s as if he was your neighbor and he wanted to check on you. No seriously. If you’ve never heard Soulja Rags I’ll highlight some key points.

* You bout that paper? You on top Handling business ? <—- opening line so much concern

* Do you do your time w/o ratting on your potnas? (Very important questions when establishing a friendship. Juvenile even taught me friend interrogation questions)

* You be sneaking sweets? (Damn Juvie how did you know?)

* You go shopping every week? 👀🤐

* You want sleep in the royal sonesta? You wanna fuck Vanessa? —-( this line had me thinking. I don’t know if i ever wanted to be with Vanessa. But when he asked me this i was like.. sure. Yes. Yes Juvie i do wanna have a go at Vanessa and sleep in the Royal Sonesta. I didn’t even know I wanted to before .)

The crown jewel in Juvie’s hat is 400 degrees. The album has so many goddamn gems. My personal favorites are “ghetto children” “400 degrees” and “Ha”. To keep it a buck the first time I heard “Ha” I was stuck in a trance. Even though it’s very similar to Soulja rags in its questioning; Ha takes it another level. Chef Juvie’s knife was super sharp when he was sautéing this masterpiece. He was even more in-depth than before. Which is hard as hell if you think about because he literally asked “do you want to fuck Vanessa”. Bruh “Ha” was something else though. It was otherworldly. The dopest part was the language only a New Orleanian could understand. For instance.. “Ha” is actually “huh?” It’s not a question. It’s more of a definitive statement. “She bad ha” I’m not actually asking you if she’s attractive. I know she is.. my Ha is the proof. Also a sentence in New Orleans speak can actually end in “yea” or “no”. The song starts off so perfect. My dawg yells “THATS YOU IN THAT BAD ASS BENZ HA” that’s how he start the MF song bruh. You knew you was in for some shit when he start that way. Peep these very pertinent questions and their defined meanings.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww9VlmXKYgs

“that’s you that can’t keep a ole lady because you keep fuckin her friends huh”

The amount of compassion this question is asked with is the closet thing to hearing God speak. Tristan Thompson could’ve used this passage last week.

“Your dick got hard when you was looking at them broads ha” — aka don’t be chasing waterfalls big fella. You saw what happened to ole boy in that TLC video. He really just faded away.

“You keep ya body clean ha” — here Juvenile is showing that he is concerned about your personal hygiene. He wanted to know if you’re taking the adequate amount of baths.

“You don’t really wanna fuck with them niggas ha. You come up with them niggas ha. You stuck with them niggas ha” —- this means regardless of what you were born into it’s never too late to turn that minus into a plus. It’s okay to leave a tumultuous situation for greener pastures my brother. Let the lord say...

“When you broke you drove ha. When you paid you got beaucoup places to go ha” —- there’s never been a quote that has summed up life more accurately than this.

Couple major 🔑’s to take away from this article.

1. 400 degrees is the greatest album ever.

2. I’m not sure Soulja Rags isn’t better than 400 degrees.

3. Anything you will think or do in the future... Juvenile has already done or thought three times already.

4. 400 degrees, Soulja Rags, G Code are 3 very very spectacular albums.

5. Juvenile is the Bran Stark of the Nolia. He done seen it all.

- Gawd. Amen. Gone.

[lito-thegawd]

Blac Chyna: True American Hero

I know. I know.

But first.. Welcome

I totally understand why you’ve come. You saw  Blac Chyna and you assumed there would be some Jpeg or Mpeg. You poor fool. You poor poor lost soul. Also you nasty. 

*side note* Yesterday I saw a dude say he took off work to watch xvideos. Say, what kinda life y'all out there living, baby? Geez. It’s real women out there that will touch you in real life. You got to log off your computer sometimes, friend.

I’ll keep it a buck with y'all. I like most of the world thought a Chyna tape would be exactly what the game was missing. Yea, it wasn’t. I really wish I could go back in time and un-watch that daddy. Such lazy fellatio. Such little time. I mean this lady single handedly ( or fake ass-dedly depending how you feel) finagled a couple M’s out Sir Rob. Not to mention a life time meal plan aka a child. That poor soul. Nah, come to think of it. Rob had his fair share of baddies in his day before he started eating them. Rob 300 pounds and I haven’t seen Rosa Acosta since they broke up. She got to be in his belly. Good Lord he really ate her.

In all seriousness here guys… Angela’s mouth hugs are that trash and she’s been finessing the industry this long? What’s she been using .. her personality? valid question there. I’ve never talked to the woman she may be as phenomenal as a Maya Angelou prose. What if Chyna wasn’t even  haven’t sex w/ these rappers? What if she was at the crib and they were playing pea knuckle or some shit? For God’s sake she did marry Tyga. Yo, y'all want to hear something funny? “My heart big but it beat quiet” Tyga I’ll never let you live that down ahk. You trash. God bless. All I’m saying is what if we treated Chyna like a sex object (mainly because that what she told us to do) and she’s really at your favorite rappers house installing Windows 10? Son..  Blac Chyna not even giving with her vagina like that. She was only in the “rich sex” video by Future because she wrote the song. omg. I just did the math on this whole shit.

Also lets keep in mind Chyna lost a husband to a Kardashian. Only to have that treasure troll turn around and have a baby by whatever Travis Scott is. Chyna told them she would scythe that family with great vengeance. And i’ll be damned if that baby didn’t. Chyna flipped a husband into a Kardashian triple double. She turned a baby into a first week release date check. That’s hard. In the process of finessing Rob she pissed off Kim, Chloe, Kris, Tyga, Me, You, Your momma, and your cousins too. That’s delicious.

In closing…  Blac Chyna gave the laziest mouth hug of all time. It was down right dastardly. I mean they were in positions and I don’t even know how they got there. Chyna was like, “look do whatever you feel the need to I’ll be right here chilling”. Nah it was terrible. It might be right up there with the Trump Presidency as the worth thing about 2018. But Butt Buuuut (pun intended) what if we not judge Angela on the quality of her fellation but on the content of her mouth stamina. Maybe she just really not good at it. Maybe she was supposed to be a computer programmer but the ass shots wouldn’t let her sit still that long. Y'all don’t even know. Jhonni Blaze tape was terrible too. Good Lord. We might need to put celebrity sex in rice. Throw all the celebrity sex tapes away. They need more milk. Seen a lot of y'all on the timeline talking about you could do better. She parlayed that poo mouth into millions though. Shout out to you Angela. Maybe you can do some production for Kanye, that’ll impress me.

- The Gawd

[lito-thegawd]

Gucci got engaged and y'all lost y'all mind.

Hey... I see a lot of talk about Gucci's wedding proposal. So here's the thing Wop is a trap legend. Let's get that out the way first. That's just first.. 2ndly.. I see a lot of ppl talking about "it's shameful he didn't get on 1 knee. He could've been more Romantic than that. Here's the thing guys... he's not marrying you. So boom.. that sound you hear is your opinion being disregarded. Music to my ears. That man let however many ppl in Phillips arena know that was his lady. He's claiming her. In front the world. You seen that ring? Whaaat.. you can't even get ole boy who jailbroke your fire stick (and charged you for it and now it don't work) to give you a call back and you got an opinion about an engagement . Y'all got some nerve. You stalking your pizza carrier. He don't even know your name lady. I can't wait until all these lonely post about how you wish you had somebody to go to thanksgiving dinner with or how you wish somebody would bring you food. Imma comment on all y'all status and say:. "Should've been listening to Gucci" 3rdly.. y'all looking to Gucci mane for romance.. lmfao. *scratches head* 4th.. TRAP LEGEND.. 5th.. BRRRRR 6th.... if you're upset about this post... look at your ring finger. Get back to me.

[lito-thegawd]

Just listen.

[lito-thegawd]

#debate #debatethisdick #fuckdonaldtrump #ftd #hillarycool #iguess

[lito-thegawd]

I wrote a poem about a single strand of weave that had the perseverance and wherewithal to survive without the rest of its bundle. Please like and share as you see fit. ******* #TheWeaveThatGrewFromATreeBranch I was born to be fabulous/ But my roots keep on damaging/ My bark is bare my sap is wack/ My leaves have fallen, I want them back/ A twig is brown my soul is hopeless/ My natural hair is not the dopest/ To post a selfie I want the most/ For other trees to brag and boast/ I know how I can make these twitches sick/ The hair connect got some fire 💩/ Fin.

[prettyboyshyflizzy]

LMAOOO

[moneypowercupcakes]

I am doneeee

[youlovechicky]

reblogging back to back because I cannot stop laughing at this shit! 😭😂😭😂😭😂😭

[lito-thegawd]

Nah bruh.. No. Nah uh

[lito-thegawd]

[lito-thegawd]

I once wrote a love letter to Nia Long sometimes last year. It was actually a bae get over here letter. She mighta DM'd me I don't kiss and tell breh. I'm lying she ignored the shit out me. She ain't even like the shit on Instagram. She might've actually blocked me. Saul good man. I got a lady now we happy too. Take that Nia.. 😅