The Steam Engine in Britches @little-big-illi - Tumblr Blog

Douggie, go get me some onions or something oniony... I'm craving onion for some reason? Like really bad. The last time I craved something like this I was- oh crap...

BABE.

BABE, WE HAVE FIVE. WE’D NEED ANOTHER HAND TO COUNT THEM.

BABE

OH CRAP. STEVVIE. I’M ALSO LATE. I’VE BEEN LATE FOR TWO MONTHS. STEVVIE, WHAT IF- OH CRAP. SIX?! SIX?!

OMG I NEED ONIONS. I NEED TO STRESS SHOVE ONION RINGS INTO MY MOUTH. AND WHILE YOU’RE OUT… PREGGO TEST.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABE

LET’S NOT FREAK OUT UNTIL WE KNOW FOR SURE.

BABE. OMG BABE. BABE. BABE. I’VE BEEN HAVING SO MANY WEIRD CRAVINGS AND I’VE PUT ON LIKE FIVE POUNDS HOW DID THIS NOT LINE UP?

BABE, YOU GOTTA GO DO A TEST JUST IN CASE YOU’RE SICK OR SOMETHING….ILL GO PICK UP SOME ONION RINGS

MY BODY CAN’T TAKE THIS. I JUST POPPED OUT TWO LIKE A COUPLE YEARS AGO. I NEED A BREAK. OMG.

ONION RINGS AND A PREGGO TEST. WE NEED THIS. NOW.

YOU DESERVE A UTERUS VACATION, BABE. BUT HEY, AT LEAST THE TWINS ARE OUT OF THE NURSERY...... BUT COOKOUT RUN FIRST AND FOREMOST.

Douggie, go get me some onions or something oniony... I'm craving onion for some reason? Like really bad. The last time I craved something like this I was- oh crap...

BABE.

BABE, WE HAVE FIVE. WE’D NEED ANOTHER HAND TO COUNT THEM.

BABE

OH CRAP. STEVVIE. I’M ALSO LATE. I’VE BEEN LATE FOR TWO MONTHS. STEVVIE, WHAT IF- OH CRAP. SIX?! SIX?!

OMG I NEED ONIONS. I NEED TO STRESS SHOVE ONION RINGS INTO MY MOUTH. AND WHILE YOU’RE OUT… PREGGO TEST.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABE

LET’S NOT FREAK OUT UNTIL WE KNOW FOR SURE.

BABE. OMG BABE. BABE. BABE. I’VE BEEN HAVING SO MANY WEIRD CRAVINGS AND I’VE PUT ON LIKE FIVE POUNDS HOW DID THIS NOT LINE UP?

#I PROMISE IM HAPPY IM JUST VERY AMAZED

BABE, YOU GOTTA GO DO A TEST JUST IN CASE YOU'RE SICK OR SOMETHING....ILL GO PICK UP SOME ONION RINGS

Douggie, go get me some onions or something oniony... I'm craving onion for some reason? Like really bad. The last time I craved something like this I was- oh crap...

BABE.

BABE, WE HAVE FIVE. WE’D NEED ANOTHER HAND TO COUNT THEM.

BABE

OH CRAP. STEVVIE. I’M ALSO LATE. I’VE BEEN LATE FOR TWO MONTHS. STEVVIE, WHAT IF- OH CRAP. SIX?! SIX?!

OMG I NEED ONIONS. I NEED TO STRESS SHOVE ONION RINGS INTO MY MOUTH. AND WHILE YOU’RE OUT… PREGGO TEST.

#SO MANY BABE #SO MUCH IN COLLEGE TUITION #BAAAAAAAAAAAABE

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABE

Douggie, go get me some onions or something oniony... I'm craving onion for some reason? Like really bad. The last time I craved something like this I was- oh crap...

BABE.

BABE, WE HAVE FIVE. WE’D NEED ANOTHER HAND TO COUNT THEM.

BABE

#adele-douglas

I need onions. I am craving onions. Why am I craving onions?

well.....onion rings are appropriate for every occasion, I guess. No judgment, babe.

(txt) YO UNCLE D. My son is not going to swear like a sailor and drink so much scotch that he forgets how to handle himself and ends up biting the thumb off a man he challenged to a wrestling match

[text] IF YR SON GREW UP LIKE THAT HED BE FRICKIN AWESOME

[text]ya gotta raise em up strong. like me lol. and your mother technically

#adelaide-granger-sumner

HEY. HEY. HEY. HEY. *keeps smacking the back of your head* I bet you're glad they placed me in the desk right behind you this congressional season. hehe.

HEY. HEY. IF YOU KICK MY SEAT AGAIN IM GONNA TURN AROUND AND KICK YOUR BUTT, YOU PUBLIC MENACE.

*picks up leftover fries from lunch sitting on desk and tosses them at you* THAT’S FOR TEACHING MY SON A CURSEWORD. HIS FIRST WORD WAS A CURSEWORD, STEVVIE. A CURSEWORD. THIS IS PERSONAL. *knocks the back of your seat with my feet*

*cackling* WHICH CURSE WORD WAS IT, CHUCKLES? DO TELL. I WANNA KNOW WHAT KIND OF FOUL MOUTHED HEATHEN YOU’RE RAISING.

WHERE DO I START? IT WAS THE F WORD FOR STARTERS AND THEN IT WAS THE S WORD. YOU DOOFUS. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR WIFE LEAVES YOU ALONE WITH HIM. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME FOR?

HEY, NOW. I DON’T FUDGIN’ CURSE WITH THE KIDDOS AROUND, PUNK. IF I WANTED TO MESS WITH YOU I’D MAKE YOUR KID AN ANDREW JACKSON STAN. HOW’D YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

THEN WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT WORD, STEVE? WHERE DID HE LEARN IT?

WHY DON’T YOU ASK YOUR REPUBLICAN FRIENDS, YOU BIG PALOOKA. OR YOUR UNUSUALLY AGGRESSIVE LUMBERJACK ABOLITIONIST ATTACK DOG.

…. I honestly do not know who you’re referring to, YOU PIGMY.

…the dude who got into a fight with Charley? who has a lumberjack beard…..? your buddy?

samuel-g-howe-blog

*pops up behind you* YOU WANNA TALK SHIT, LITTLE MAN?

*clears throat* I- I think I have been sorely mistaken as to who taught my son those words…. Yeah… this makes more sense

yeah, you big fuckin’ dipshit, i am a PERFECTLY well behaved fuckin’ babysitter, thanks. *sticks out tongue* Besides, Chucky v. 2 is gonna have to learn to talk like a man SOME TIME.

Chuckles McJr. will not wear. Thank you very much.

#i morally can't let this kid grow up wearing purple pants bruh #ive gotta step in

Nonsense, my man. A MAN'S GOT TO LEARN MANLY THINGS. SMOKING CIGARS. MAKING STUMP SPEECHES. GROWING A BEARD.

lizzywhimsy

Adele and Stephen Douglas

I’m going to post a colorful version later

#LOOK #BRINGING THIS BACK #ME AND THE BAE4LYFE

HEY. HEY. HEY. HEY. *keeps smacking the back of your head* I bet you're glad they placed me in the desk right behind you this congressional season. hehe.

HEY. HEY. IF YOU KICK MY SEAT AGAIN IM GONNA TURN AROUND AND KICK YOUR BUTT, YOU PUBLIC MENACE.

*picks up leftover fries from lunch sitting on desk and tosses them at you* THAT’S FOR TEACHING MY SON A CURSEWORD. HIS FIRST WORD WAS A CURSEWORD, STEVVIE. A CURSEWORD. THIS IS PERSONAL. *knocks the back of your seat with my feet*

*cackling* WHICH CURSE WORD WAS IT, CHUCKLES? DO TELL. I WANNA KNOW WHAT KIND OF FOUL MOUTHED HEATHEN YOU’RE RAISING.

WHERE DO I START? IT WAS THE F WORD FOR STARTERS AND THEN IT WAS THE S WORD. YOU DOOFUS. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR WIFE LEAVES YOU ALONE WITH HIM. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME FOR?

HEY, NOW. I DON’T FUDGIN’ CURSE WITH THE KIDDOS AROUND, PUNK. IF I WANTED TO MESS WITH YOU I’D MAKE YOUR KID AN ANDREW JACKSON STAN. HOW’D YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

THEN WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT WORD, STEVE? WHERE DID HE LEARN IT?

WHY DON’T YOU ASK YOUR REPUBLICAN FRIENDS, YOU BIG PALOOKA. OR YOUR UNUSUALLY AGGRESSIVE LUMBERJACK ABOLITIONIST ATTACK DOG.

…. I honestly do not know who you’re referring to, YOU PIGMY.

…the dude who got into a fight with Charley? who has a lumberjack beard…..? your buddy?

samuel-g-howe-blog

*pops up behind you* YOU WANNA TALK SHIT, LITTLE MAN?

*clears throat* I- I think I have been sorely mistaken as to who taught my son those words…. Yeah… this makes more sense

#man he has SO MUCH TO LEARN

yeah, you big fuckin' dipshit, i am a PERFECTLY well behaved fuckin' babysitter, thanks. *sticks out tongue* Besides, Chucky v. 2 is gonna have to learn to talk like a man SOME TIME.

DOUGGIE! :D

BBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

BAAAAAAAAAABE!!!!!!!!!!! *kazoos*

MY DARLING, IT’S BEEN AN HOUR AND A HALF AT LEAST SINCE IVE SEEN YOU……HOW CAN YOU BEAR THE SEPARATION

BABE, YOU LEFT YOUR PHONE AT HOME TODAY AND I WASN’T ABLE TO SEND YOU EMOTICONS AND CUTE MESSAGES ALL DAY. IT WAS TORTURE.

#MILK AND EGGS #we're such serious adults babe

I KNOW BABE.....I MISSED BEING ABLE TO SEND YOU SASSY SNAPS ABOUT MY COWORKERS.... i did send you a very amusing email filled with cat gifs, though. i didnt forget you. *kisses*

DOUGGIE! :D

BBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

BAAAAAAAAAABE!!!!!!!!!!! *kazoos*

#pffft #i went grocery shopping on the way back from work btw

MY DARLING, IT'S BEEN AN HOUR AND A HALF AT LEAST SINCE IVE SEEN YOU......HOW CAN YOU BEAR THE SEPARATION

HEY. HEY. HEY. HEY. *keeps smacking the back of your head* I bet you're glad they placed me in the desk right behind you this congressional season. hehe.

HEY. HEY. IF YOU KICK MY SEAT AGAIN IM GONNA TURN AROUND AND KICK YOUR BUTT, YOU PUBLIC MENACE.

*picks up leftover fries from lunch sitting on desk and tosses them at you* THAT’S FOR TEACHING MY SON A CURSEWORD. HIS FIRST WORD WAS A CURSEWORD, STEVVIE. A CURSEWORD. THIS IS PERSONAL. *knocks the back of your seat with my feet*

*cackling* WHICH CURSE WORD WAS IT, CHUCKLES? DO TELL. I WANNA KNOW WHAT KIND OF FOUL MOUTHED HEATHEN YOU’RE RAISING.

WHERE DO I START? IT WAS THE F WORD FOR STARTERS AND THEN IT WAS THE S WORD. YOU DOOFUS. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR WIFE LEAVES YOU ALONE WITH HIM. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME FOR?

HEY, NOW. I DON’T FUDGIN’ CURSE WITH THE KIDDOS AROUND, PUNK. IF I WANTED TO MESS WITH YOU I’D MAKE YOUR KID AN ANDREW JACKSON STAN. HOW’D YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

THEN WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT WORD, STEVE? WHERE DID HE LEARN IT?

WHY DON’T YOU ASK YOUR REPUBLICAN FRIENDS, YOU BIG PALOOKA. OR YOUR UNUSUALLY AGGRESSIVE LUMBERJACK ABOLITIONIST ATTACK DOG.

…. I honestly do not know who you’re referring to, YOU PIGMY.

#he sems like the kind of guy to impart bad habits on kids yknow

...the dude who got into a fight with Charley? who has a lumberjack beard.....? your buddy?

DOUGGIE! :D

BBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

#MY LOVE #MY LIFE #LIGHT OF MY AUGUST DAYS #adele-douglas

HEY. HEY. HEY. HEY. *keeps smacking the back of your head* I bet you're glad they placed me in the desk right behind you this congressional season. hehe.

HEY. HEY. IF YOU KICK MY SEAT AGAIN IM GONNA TURN AROUND AND KICK YOUR BUTT, YOU PUBLIC MENACE.

*picks up leftover fries from lunch sitting on desk and tosses them at you* THAT’S FOR TEACHING MY SON A CURSEWORD. HIS FIRST WORD WAS A CURSEWORD, STEVVIE. A CURSEWORD. THIS IS PERSONAL. *knocks the back of your seat with my feet*

*cackling* WHICH CURSE WORD WAS IT, CHUCKLES? DO TELL. I WANNA KNOW WHAT KIND OF FOUL MOUTHED HEATHEN YOU’RE RAISING.

WHERE DO I START? IT WAS THE F WORD FOR STARTERS AND THEN IT WAS THE S WORD. YOU DOOFUS. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR WIFE LEAVES YOU ALONE WITH HIM. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME FOR?

HEY, NOW. I DON’T FUDGIN’ CURSE WITH THE KIDDOS AROUND, PUNK. IF I WANTED TO MESS WITH YOU I’D MAKE YOUR KID AN ANDREW JACKSON STAN. HOW’D YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

THEN WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT WORD, STEVE? WHERE DID HE LEARN IT?