[little-part]

☁️ | Intro Post

I'm a little* in a DID system ( @parts-of-one ). I prefer she/they pronouns.

*I represent a 3 to 5 year old internally, but I'm still physically an adult

System info:

I'm a trauma holder. I hold trauma related to CSA, which is also why I'm a little. I sometimes talk about my trauma.

I try to tag everything accordingly, but please be careful when scrolling this blog!

About me:

I enjoy watching shows, such as Bluey and Sesame Street! I also love animals, especially rabbits! I'm saving money for a Lolita fashion dress! I really love the style!

DNI:

If you believe men can't get SA'd and/or women can't be perpetrators

On some of my posts, minors aren't allowed to interact. Those posts are tagged with "minors DNI" or "18+ only".

pro/neu contact paraphilia (I'm strongly anti contact for paraphilics)

kink blogs (I'm pro-kink, but I'm not comfortable with such blogs interacting)

[milquetoaast]

source

[throathole]

I really love when cats use their front legs to hold something in place while they use their back legs to kick the absolute shit out of it

[throathole]

Destruction. Annihilation, even

[givrali]

some of you could learn a thing or two

[glowing-star-part]

A bit of my experience with regression and sexuality as a DID alter. Please be careful reading this while regressed.

TW: Hypersexuality, CSA

I'm an ageslider. For me, this means that even though I sometimes feel like an adult, I can also feel mentally "younger" sometimes (usually between 4 and 10 years old).

My sexual thoughts and feelings don't go away when I'm in a younger headspace, sometimes they actually get worse. We displayed unhealthy sexual behaviors as a child, which has been a problem for us when we were as young as 4 years old and it lasted all the way into adulthood (although we did learn how to maintain proper boundaries at some point).

My source memories, which are a "metaphor" for real trauma, imply that we've been through CSA (among other types of abuse). It's not entirely certain, but it's very much possible. This could also explain our hypersexuality.

Being hypersexual while age regressed is stressful for me. The pressure to be entirely non-sexual from other age regressors doesn't help. I'm not saying that agere blogs have to be ok with nsfw interactions, but it'd be nice if more regressors accepted the fact that hypersexuality doesn't always go away when someone is regressed.

In short: My hypersexuality doesn't go away when I'm regressed, because I've struggled with hypersexuality since I was a young child. I can't choose to be entirely non-sexual.

[little-part]

A different alter in our system made this post, but I have a similar experience!

The only differences are that I'm always "small" (because I'm a child alter) and I don't have source memories (because I'm not an introject). But I relate to the "being sexual" part because of us having struggled with unhealthy sexual thoughts and behaviors since we were very young.

[fairykid2004]

[kiricumber]

[parts-of-one]

Saying something like "I'll beat your abuser to death" directly to a CSA survivor isn't always a good idea. Unless you know that the person is ok with it, it's best not to say such things.

Many CSA survivors have complicated feelings towards their abusers and can simultaneously hate them and care about them, even when they know that what their abusers did was bad. Some CSA survivors are in denial of the abuse, thinking that it wasn't "that bad" or believing it didn't happen at all, and they need to process this at their own pace. Btw, these are just two examples, there are many more reasons why a person wouldn't be comfortable with others threatening their abuser.

Ofcourse there are survivors who are ok with others saying violent things about their abuser, but unless you know that the person you're talking to is ok with that, don't do this. It can cause alot of stress, anxiety, dissociation, etc.

- ☁️, 🐇

[aubryjoi]

Bnuuy 🐰

[parts-of-one]

Looking for advice: trauma memories resurfacing

For a bit of context: I'm an alter in a CDD system. I'm a child part (internally representing a 3yo) and a trauma holder.

Lately there have been more memories resurfacing. I'm actively repressing those memories right now, because if I allow myself to look into it, it could reveal something horrible. It could mean that one of the people (or maybe more) I trusted my whole life and still live with is actually not someone who should be trusted and did horrible things to us.

I want to know what happened, but it could get us into danger because the emotional impact could be too much and make us dissociate severely or even self destructive and/or if the (potential) abuser becomes aware that I know about it they could threaten us.

I don't know what to do, because the memories keep coming up in my mind and I don't want to be in danger. Maybe I should stay with someone else for a while so I can process the memories more easily. If anyone has any advice please let me know (no pressure).

- ☁️

[onecells]

[parts-of-one]

We're making good progress in processing our trauma. We recently remembered a part of our trauma that had been "locked away" from us since it happened.

I (☁️) was the first to remember it in the system, but since we have low amnesia barriers the other parts are aware of it too now. Most other parts deny that it negatively affected us or they say "it's not that bad", but I think that's normal for them because their job is to be dissociated from this.

I'm discussing the memories with one of our psychologists today! It's really scary for me to confront the trauma, but it's necessary and it'll help me.

- ☁️

[sa1ntg0re]

you know the actual worst thing about being a system (at least in my experience?)

child sexual parts.

Oh my God why do I have child sexual parts

[liminal404]

[dailycatsblog]

[multiversemusingsx]

Doctor Who - Silence in The Library

[veryluckyclovers]