They argue. It’s uncomfortable and ugly and that makes it genuine-Nakyum and Seungho finally vent their frustration about each other in an honest manner. Because no matter what SH does NK never gives him his smile & no matter what NK does he can’t break the wall around SH’s heart.
Nakyum and Seungho both fear to give themself to the other person and keep a distance between each other, yet at the same time they both try to get closer and hold tighter in their own clumsy way.
They both fear having their hearts broken but Seungho’s fear runs much deeper. His reluctance to share his past with Nakyum doesn’t merely stem from the fear to confront it but because he is terrified Nakyum may be disgusted with him if he knew the whole truth about him.
When Seungho tells Nakyum he never expected him to be his, it shows Seungho’s real tragedy. He doesn’t expect Nakyum to ever love him because he hates himself and considers himself damned and unlovable. Nakyum’s presence is enough for him because being tolerated by Nakyum is the best Seungho dares to hope for since he thinks he’s undeserving of Nakyum’s love. His inability to make his lover smile only reinforces the notion so he resigned himself to being in a one-sided love.
Just a remainder that Seungho was one word away from admitting he secretly craves Nakyum’s love right after Nakyum barely stopped himself from confessing he loves Seungho, truly and deeply.
Instead of smiling, Seungho makes Nakyum cry again, but his shock at Nakyum’s tears also shows that he didn’t realize until now how much NK cares about the music box - a token of SH’s affection which to Nakyum represents everything that is good and loving about SH - and him.
Seungho is so heartwrenchingly inept at expressing his feelings and utterly clueless and clumsy at how to make Nakyum stay.He literally fumbles for the right words, nervously biting his lip in frustration at himself, and resorts to unconcealed begging & desperately pleads with NK to tell him how more he most beg for him not to leave him, after he realizes that reverting to his arrogance nobleman persona not only won’t make Nakyum stay but it hurts him and makes him cry. If Mr. Kim didn’t come SH would most likely prostrate himself and kneel before Nakyum.
The music box keeps playing after Seungho throws it, so the whole time he is begging Nakyum not to leave him, The Night Flower is playing in the background (considering the RL does).
“If you don’t want it anymore, what good does it do for me?!"
The music box scene is reminiscent of HYD s2e6 where Makino decides to leave Domyouji so she returns him the Saturn necklace he gave her but he throws it away because without her it holds no meaning or value to him. It has the similarly charged atmosphere of heartbreak and argument between two lovers as the one in PotN chapter 85.
turnnoffyourmind
blakekathryn
germansingergirl
areudirty
