cas: what you’re doing, even just sitting here and having a cup of coffee, is a herculean feat. i can’t imagine the willpower it’s taking to… keep michael imprisoned.
cas: are you really ‘fine’?
dean: i don’t know, cas. but that’s what i’m supposed to say, right? ‘i’m fine,’ keep on moving? that’s what we all say.
dean: okay… there’s this pounding in my head. it never stops. michael’s in there, and he is fighting hard to get out. and i can’t let my guard down… not for a second. [he chuckles] i’m barely even sleeping.
cas: well, that’s not sustainable.
dean: no, no. it’s probably not. but no point in complaining about it. it’s on me.
cas: no. it’s on us. we are here to help you.
dean: [sincerely] i know that. and i appreciate that, i do. (then) look, before the kid gets back — i know i agreed to give you guys time.
cas: … and we will find a solution.
dean: … but if you don’t, we still have plan B.
cas: [pleading] dean, come on.
dean: coffin. ocean. done.
the way cas anticipated an episode and dean tossed out a barely believable ‘i’m fine,’ which cas followed up with a statement of concern wrapped in admiration, pushing dean to keep giving increasingly unconvincing answers because he’s so desperate to just… talk about it. openly. despite how jovial jensen’s delivery is, which perfectly shows dean still trying to brush off the burden he’s carrying, when really he’s scared and tired, but puts too much pressure on himself not to give that away. yet, like with sam, he’s letting cas reach out — listening to cas be the reassuring and hopeful one when dean’s default right now is to be self-sacrificing and faithless. he’s not necessarily intent on the box, but he is certain about the sacrifice. he just doesn’t want to go through this alone.
anyway, i’m driving my head through cement.
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