Linds

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[purplebuddhaproject]

“And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way.”

— Marya Hornbacher (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[thegoodvybe]

“There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.”

— Gautama Buddha (via thegoodvybe)

[thegoodvybe]

[trippyy-princesss]

Last years Valentine’s Day we went on a nice dinner date. And the year before that you had flowers sent to me. And this year. This year I’ll go to work and then come home and go to bed alone.

[purplebuddhaproject]

“You don’t just walk away from someone when things get tough, you find a way to stick it out and figure out what’s gone wrong.”

— Shana Norris (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[purplebuddhaproject]

“In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit.”

—

Anne Frank

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

[purplebuddhaproject]

“Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell…”

— Karen Marie Moning (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[dragonslayer56-deactivated20120]

[purplebuddhaproject]

“Sometimes when she told stories about the past her eyes would get teary from all the memories she had, but they weren’t tears. She wasn’t crying. They were just the memories, leaking out.”

— Ruth Ozeki (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[recaption]

[purplebuddhaproject]

“I know now that we never get over great losses; we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder, creatures.”

—

Gail Caldwell

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

[dyspresja]

edit

[jarofblades]

[innocentspit]

made with love

[thedarkperidot]

Your daily reminder that traumatised brains are literally physically different to a normal brain. Repeated trauma and abuse has a severe, long-term effect.

If you have difficulty maintaining social bonds, concentrating, sleeping, focusing, or regulating your emotions, it’s because you’re traumatised. If you’re not happy with yourself, if you worry you’re a burden, you’re toxic, that you don’t matter, it’s because you’re traumatised. If you struggle to make it out of bed, think straight, get motivated or distracted, it’s because you’re traumatised.

Have you ever been told you’re too dramatic, or emotional? Has anyone wondered why you trust no one? Why you analyse every person’s smallest behaviour? Why you’re paranoid of the most minor signs of history repeating itself? It’s because you’re traumatised.

And it is NOT your fault.

[angrygaypoetry]

On honest letter to the girl who loved me when I couldn’t love myself;

I don’t know if it was RuPaul who first said; “If you cant love yourself how, in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” But bitch was wrong. I was so afraid of you for that exact reason. I fucking hate myself. Not a day goes by that I am okay with my appearance or personality or general ability. But some how you’ve taken all these shattered pieces and wrapped your arms so tightly around them that the warmth of your love has finally started to melt them back together. 

I was scared of you because you don’t treat me like shit. Let me explain. I have never been in a healthy relationship. Ever. So when you came into my life on a cloud with angels singing in my ears and your eyes and dragging me into your embrace it felt like a knife had slashed through my stomach. It was not a good fear. On our first date I tried to scare you away by telling you every awful thing about me. You laughed. You told me that we’ve led very similar lives and in that moment I knew this girl was not a baby bunny I could just chase off but a koala bear that had already made its home hanging onto my aorta. 

Our first date ended and within an hour we had two more planned. I had never been so insanely giddy after a first date. I was cleaning the kitchen and my sister looked at me almost stunned and asked “Are you singing?” Like it was something I had never done. And to be fair outside of my car I don’t think she had heard me sing. You see I was always a kid who sang and danced but the depression had confiscated my happiness. And her best friend anxiety replaced my happiness with an undying need to ruin everything around me. 

So when I say I can’t handle the love you slip into my morning coffee what I’m saying is that I never learned to. What i’m saying is that I don’t know how to treat the only thing in life that has ever come easily. What I’m saying is I love you too. 

I love you is this very weird phrase for me. I was only the first person to say it in the first relationship I was ever in and I don’t know if thats because I didn’t know what love was or because she never loved me enough to say it. And frankly that relationship ruined me as a person. So please don’t take It personally that the only time I say I love you is when I’m drunk. I still don’t know if I’ve found the difference between loving someone and being in love with them but you make me want to learn the difference. 

I need you to know that every person before you has broken me. In fact the first person I ever loved took my little glass heart and shattered it until the microscopic shards could no longer be seen. Every relationship since then has taken hand fulls of shards with them as they left. So as your gathering those shards into a mold that resembles a heart beware that it is so much thinner than it used to be, and as a result far more fragile.

I often thought of my future as this one stationary goal. To make it there without any more ruins or tragic falls into the void. But you have made me pull back the blinders and use my peripheral view. And there you are. Your mega watt smile and deep lagoon eyes that can pull me into you at your will. And i’m okay with that. I’m okay with the idea that my life cant be a series of ignoring my trauma and hiding from the skeletons in my closet. 

So when RuPaul said “If you cant love yourself how, in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” She was lying. I can not stand myself. But boy do I love you. 

[depression-healthy-carrier]

Having depression and anxiety is like being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure, but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hate socializing. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It feels everything at once so it’s like you numb.