all•y

you and me, together. U.K.

[livingdalia]

“My lazy fingers fumbled across the blurry remnants of a reflection that I used to call my own. “Lady” said the man in the black jacket on the corner of 4th street, “are you okay”? Cars and busses were blurs of light in the midnight traffic and I wasn’t exactly sure how to answer that question. I could have sworn that I was someplace else, some place that made sense.”

— I think I’m in the wrong side of the reflection {a.h.}

[livingdalia]

I Am Merely A Lilac Sky

Let the water run off of your shoulder.

How about you love yourself?

After all, punching brick walls never accomplished anything, other than bloody your knuckles.

You were always faint of blood, even though its the one thing that keeps you alive.// is it though?

Because every time I think of your smile I swear I lift from some sort of grave, maybe one I dug myself. 

I was always too busy trying to die to notice the paleness of my skin // or how the sun never seems to rise anymore. 

Too busy hoping every breath would stifle and fade away to notice notice notice notice // absolutely nothing at all.

//The Conundrums of My Sad Little Life.\

[feverdreamsuggestion]

you’re awake at five in the morning. you’re asleep at noon. you’re awake at midnight. you’re asleep at five in the evening. you haven’t cooled off and you haven’t thawed out.

[neckkiss]

Taxi Driver (1976)

[livingdalia]

I still think of you, but it is better this way.

[livingdalia]

I have no constant variable, only that which is found in between the webbing of your fingers - where I touch when I have ran out of things to say.

[livingdalia]

“I want to know what you hide beneath your rib cage. I want to breath you in like oxygen and let you live inside my lungs.”

— Rawly and Passionately {a.h.}

[livingdalia]

You were beautiful in the most sinister of ways. Like an old priceless painting that I could look at all day but never bring myself to touch, never let my brokenness and humanity contaminate the careful brush strokes that is your skin. And when you looked at me with those eyes, all I saw was longing, all i saw was someone who wanted to be loved. And being the person who is expected to extend such a perfectly alienated perception of love is a crown, a lovely crown. A heavy crown. A crown that I could not bear along with the strife that is being me. I know you are used to me writing pretty dainty poems about you, but this does not feel like autumn and the air is not fresh and crisp. This feels like goodbye and I am sorry to say this tie does not hurt to cut. As it seems, when you smiled at me with your lips and teeth, dripping with infatuation painted like a perfect picture - I could never complete you, nor you me. You romanticized everything about the writer in me, glorifying the beautiful words but never taking into consideration the open door, and how easy it is for the damaged to bolt for it. Never thinking that though I am an open book, the book is mine and i can close it whenever i please. So I am sorry, my dear, I could not love you up close. But oh how I adore you from around the corner.

Last December

A.H.

[livingdalia]

The showerhead drips

and I am unsettled.

It is saturday morning and my only commandment is to put the goddamn laundry away

But I lie down instead,

Plagued by the coffee that goes cold

The milk I've left on the kitchen counter

This stain on my shirt

Questionable.

Every poor on my body wreaks.

Every fibre of my being is itching, throbbing to be unstitched from the never progressing fabric of time that I have been intertwined in.

When did the neurons in my brain become shackles locked around my wrists?

These scars are faded yet they feel wide open, leaving bones exposed.

Vulnerability; she is not my friend. She is a stranger to me.

She knocks at the door, I do not answer.

A.H.

[livingdalia]

Though I have never tasted happiness so succulent like sweet honeycomb, I have never wanted to dissipate so badly. This is gruesomely hard, and I face it every day. People long to be wise but the wise are hardly at peace.

A.h.

[iglovequotes]

Daily dose of love quotes here

[yayoroses]

[livingdalia]

Just when I thought i needed him to tell me that I'm perfect the way i am, that he loves the curve of my stomach and the stretch marks on my thighs, I remembered that I don't need him to love those things. I need to love them. I decide that I am beautiful. I decide that I am worthy.

[livingdalia]

A.H.

Consider me biting my nails as me pruning my dead branches,

Consider my long periods of silent vacancies as peaceful recollections

(Internal agony)

Consider the crack in my voice a serine soliloquy, a break in the monotony,

A trimmer for melancholy to settle gracefully within.

Consider these old scars as paths I didnt take, a choice I didnt make, as planters for future gardens that i will never plant.

Consider my words to be meaningless, or meaningful, as no one will read them but me.

Consider the wind as a soft gentle touch

Consider me gone

Consider me void.

[livingdalia]

““She was as bright as the sun and as free as the sea and like every sailor in their boats, I wanted to capture her.””

— -A.H.

[jericosilvers]

[livingdalia]

I will not deny myself the simple pleasure of loving someone just because the tradition of time frowns upon it. I will love you, madly and truly, if my heart permits - not time.

Rare delicacies