no holds barred @loboto-mae - Tumblr Blog

no matter who wins the US election, we need to show up for our communities after.

it doesn’t matter if harris wins if we forget about the oppressed and underprivileged in our communities because of our relative safety.

kingcatnine

guards! read me my bedtime yaoi

seven-oh-four

my liege if you keep having all of the guards come to your bedroom to read you bedtime stories, there will be no one to actually guard the castle during that time!

kingcatnine

any intruders are welcome to join us for story time

cvntkisser

my liege the enemies to lovers yaoi is affecting your perception of the danger of real enemies.

kingcatnine

when will it be my turn.

o-kenki

kingcatnine

holy fuck

zegalba

Chardchakaj Waikawee: “Punks” (2009)

there’s someone out there using tumblr to read reddit comments and using reddit to read tumblr posts

and they’re using both to read tweets

#tumblr #reddit #tweet #i’m still figuring out the reasonable amount of tags #how many tags do i need #how many tags is too many tags #am i too inebriated #i don’t care

is there a halfway point between ketamine queer and steven universe gay? i retain aspects of both but i can’t realistically align myself with either alone. there simply must be more to this reality i find myself in.

#queer #spectrum #steven universe #someone explain the spectrum to me #i can’t keep living in queer purgatory #lend me the vernacular i desperately lack

finalfantasyvii

firefox-official

HEY GUYS I JUST GOT AN EMAIL ABOUT TRADEMARK ISSUES FROM TUMBLR I—

firefox-official

i cant breathe

starryneitz

mondaynightmami

bob woke up and chose violence on this day

trashbending

the sequel tho

freshmoviequotes

Princess Mononoke (1997)

demonprincex

i promise you that nobody has ever in their life thought "wow, this other person inserted absolutely zero friction into my life. they were so efficient and worked so hard to get out of my way. i love them for that." not EVER. not ever ever. if you sublimated your own personhood that hard they didn't even think of you at all. the people we remember in life are the people who got in our way a little, and broke up our routine, who asserted their perspective and gave us something new to think about or feel. that's how we form real relationships -- by inconveniencing one another and actually having a marked influence on one another's lives. to be loved is to be annoyed. and to be annoying at someone. and to be thankful, at the end of it all, that somebody broke you out of yourself for a moment and got in your way.

it's great to be considerate and obviously not every interaction is gonna be special, but you can't go through life as if every person is a cashier that you don't want to get mad at you for asking for an extra bag.

redshiftsinger

The only people who want a frictionless social experience from you are people who only value you for your compliance, and to whom you're perfectly interchangeable with anyone else who will give them the same lack of inconvenience.

This isn't necessarily always malicious: when I go to the coffee shop, I would like a frictionless interaction with the barista wherein I place my coffee order, it's rung up correctly, I pay them the requisite amount of money and receive my coffee shortly thereafter. It's fine if there's a little friction sometimes (the register is messed up, they're out of an ingredient for what I want) but, y'know, I'm also not gonna be thinking about that barista all day, and it doesn't make a real difference to me who's working so long as they can perform their barista duties adequately and not cause weird problems. This is normal: not every interaction is going to be special. Sometimes frictionlessness is the primary goal of the type of interaction you're having. No one goes to the store hoping the cashier will engage them in a deep and meaningful conversation, that would be a very weird thing to expect.

But sometimes it's people who are actively and intentionally trying to take advantage of your willingness to bend yourself into whatever shape they demand. They may even take a perverse delight in giving you contradictory instructions just to keep you off-balance, telling you that you did something wrong by doing X today, and that you should have done Y instead, then when you do Y, berate you for not having done X or Z. And the more you habitually make yourself small and inobtrusive, the more vulnerable you are to this kind of person's manipulative and abusive bullshit.

The best defense is to cultivate an attitude not of willful rudeness, but of unapologetic willingness to stick up for your needs and the standard expectations that should be extended to you under the social contract. The barista should make your coffee order correctly -- if it's wrong, you're entitled to go back, point out the problem, and ask for it to be remade the way you ordered it. That's part of the social contract of making an order at a coffee shop. They expect to be paid and treated with basic courtesy, you expect to receive the coffee you paid for, not something else. This can be done politely, there's no need to scream and swear and berate them, THAT would be uncalled for and rude. But asking for your coffee to be remade when you ordered a peppermint mocha and got a caramel frappuchino instead (or whatever) because they messed up, is a normal and expected amount of friction for you to insert into their workday in that circumstance. If you're in a romantic relationship, you're allowed to assert your needs for things like emotional support, physical affection, etc. and to leave the relationship if the other party isn't able or willing to meet your needs. You deserve to be treated with respect and care by your friends and associates.

Know what the social contract entitles you to demand or ask for, and have no shame in asserting yourself in appropriate ways within those expectations.

dosomethingplease83

Also, if your relationship with a person is the kind where some friction is acceptable and appropriate (friendship, family members, romantic partners), and you make every effort to avoid friction at all costs, it can become cloying or patronizing. Do you think your partner is so fragile that they can’t handle any conflict? Do you think that your friend would prioritize a smooth interaction over actually getting to know you? What an insult to that person and your relationship with them! If your relationship with them is worth anything, they should tolerate you when your existence is inconvenient to them.