It is I, Slime!

Some guy on tumblr, don't expect anything but a lot of reposts and on occasions my own posts

[local-slime]

Introduction

Hello, this be my post to introduce myself.

name : slime, local slime, slimer.

pronouns: he/him.

casualnouns: he/him/she/her/they or anything funny really.

age: none of your buisness, but I am of majority where I live.

What you might want to know:

I'm currently in a 2 year post graduate degree about informatic so expect a bit of that.

I'd like to start creative hobbies like game development but find it hard to because of my procrastination so if you want to remind me, feel free!

My humor is pretty lacking.

So is my vocabulary, both for my native language and english.

I am french, if you plan to clown on me for that, please DNI.

Despite learning about informatic, I am not the person you should ask for tech savy things.

Why did I come here : I thought tumblr was a pretty nice and chill social media, there's quite a few usefull ressources and the community is all around really nice.

I think this pretty much sums up who I am, thanks for reading all of this, hope we'll make some good memories together!

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

[the-information-seeker]

I feel like the original Chinese ending is even funnier than the translation implies. My inexpert tweaks:

“Heterosexuality really is the most fragile type of sexual orientation in the world, in human history electric shock, detention, family coercion, campus and workplace bullying all were unable to change homosexuality to heterosexuality, but heterosexuals need only get a glimpse of homosexual information and movies and they can turn into homosexual”

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[twomothsholdinghands]

[beggars-opera]

I will never forget the flight I took to Paris in college and the tiny adorable child in the seat in front of me with his nose pressed against the window looking at the lights and squealing "OOOOOOH, C'EST MAGNIFIQUE!!!"

[thefloatingstone]

REAL!!!!

REAL!!!!!

[toopunktofuck]

my friend and i had to leave an ice cream shop once because a small child who sounded exactly like JFK ordered some rum raisin and we couldn’t fucking handle it

[rotten-malice]

you can grab girls to reposition them and they might emit a noise

[beesmygod]

“chuffed doesnt mean what you think it means”

it means exactly what i think it means its just some stupid word that literally has two definitions that mean the opposite thing

[mysterysnake-deactivated2013122]

what the hell

[ashwilliamsrighthand]

This makes me really chuffed

[pameladoove-deactivated20180821]

This post is quite egregious

[cornflakepizza]

Well I’m nonplussed by this whole post.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

goddamnit.

[leatherpatches-deactivated20150]

[conservative-libertarian-deacti]

[mattsunsthighs]

all of you go to hell

[divagonzo]

And you wonder why i am boggled at times

[inactive1346597623595641352]

These are called contronyms! A word that is its own opposite.

[rubes-dragon-deactivated2024030]

Why the fuck do these exist

[operativesurprise]

One theory is that the sarcastic use of the word became exceedingly prevalent and because another dictionary definition. 

[sufferingsappho-deactivated2017]

Are you telling me that we were such sarcastic shits it literally changed our language.

[aceal0tl]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[goldensunset]

my thing i haven’t made is so good 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[shopkeeper]

if your water breaks… i will fix it.

[shopkeeper]

no... i will be the best wife wolf... nothing stands in my way anymore...

[homunculus-argument]

According to old finnish folklore, having a wild animal wander into your house is an omen of death. The bigger the animal, the more imminent the death. A small bird, like a sparrow or a finch, is a sign that someone who lives in the house will die within the year. If the animal that has somehow made its way inside the house is a small mammal like a hedgehog, or a larger bird like an owl or raven, would mean that death is coming to visit in the next few months.

Massive megafauna, like a fully-grown moose or a bear, is a sign that someone will probably die within the next 20 minutes.

[rainbow-demoness]

This one doesn't get to stay hidden in the replies.

[rainyydoves]

did you guys know wikipedia has several pages dedicated to last words

[rainyydoves]

actually there's separate ones for each century after the 17th which i feel might be a little overkill

[jamiedoodlesss]

an interaction between me and my sister but with kris and susie

[boringkate]

Seeing game devs take a "the customer is always right" approach to feedback is so sad because like I get it from a PR perspective, but…

1) The customer is always wrong

2) Your customers are gamers, so they're twice as wrong

[sisterof-thevoid-deactivated202]

[rukafais]

[ruinedchildhood]

[songsofwaterandnight]

That's such a sick baby picture to have. The rest of us are all like "oh this is me tripping in the backyard when I was 2" and that baby's gonna have "yeah that's me in my mom's arms as she wins a mortal Kombat tournament". Iconic.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Girl help they're selectively breeding the world's most powerful Mortal Kombat player.

[sacred-portal]

[alttxt]

[ottermatopoeia]

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

[onvochn]

[internetwes]

[depsidase]

[deadelated]

Isn't this shell ridge preserve or briones trail? my homie pissed off a cliff near here

[woodrider]

what did your homie do to make the cliff so angry

[cockworms]

[notebookpresley]

Deltarune is an anagram for Undertale. Snowgrave is an anagram for wrong save. Spamton is an anagram for tampons. Checkmate Toby

[guerrillatech]

[segamascott]

like to charge reblog to cast obviously