Beginner’s guide to being a good top
As long as you can stay hard, then you can top - that doesn’t take much instruction. If you want to be the kind of top that bottoms will crave, that they’ll think about for days on end, that will make them cum without even touching themselves, then this guide is for you:
Take time for foreplay. Bottoming only feels good when you’re relaxed, so take the time to treat him right and get him in the right headspace.
Pay attention to his body language. Test out different ways of pleasing him (different ways to play with his ass, cock, body, etc.). Gauge his reactions, and you’ll learn all his sweet spots. This will be key when you’re actually fucking.
Ask them what they want. Not only will the resulting dirty talk be hot and sexy, but you can find out how to press their buttons. Nobody knows their butt better than they do.
Compliment them! Tell them what gets you turned on about them. Compliment their eyes, their nose, their butt, their cock, whatever you like.
DO NOT BRAG ABOUT YOUR DICK (or anything else for that matter). There is nothing more annoying than listening to some self-congratulatory loser talk about how great he is and how lucky you are to be bottoming him. This bottom chose to sleep with you, so he knows what’s good about you, so you don’t need to tell him. This goes double if you sound like the best thing about you is your dick - no one cares that much
Figure out some way to loosen him up a little beforehand. The easiest methods are either to finger him or eat him out.
Very important note on fingering: The prostate is located a few inches deep, towards the front of their body. You should be able to feel it, and he’ll definitely respond when you play with it. Focus on gently rubbing this as you finger him. You don’t want to press it with much force, since it’s very sensitive, but stimulating it lots will make it much, MUCH easier to get them to cum (especially if you’re going for the no-hands orgasm)
Not everyone likes these, so you may have to get a bit more inventive. A massage never fails to relax someone.
Start slowly! He may tell you that he can handle anything, but it’ll feel better if you give him a minute to get used to you. Very slowly push your head against his hole, and continue to push inside him slowly and continuously (going smoothly and not stopping is much easier to handle than starting and stopping over and over).
Especially for hung guys: Don’t go balls deep all at once. Save an inch or so for when he’s used to you. It’ll be easier to handle that kind of deep penetration later, and it’s a very pleasant surprise.
Once he’s relaxed enough to take you actually moving inside of him, you can start to speed up, but remember that the sex is not all about your dick moving in his ass. Play with his dick, make out with him, caress him, grab him, talk dirty, do whatever turns you both on. This is when you can really exploit all those sweet spots you learned during foreplay.
Once it’s in, keep it in. If you keep pulling out and going back in, he’ll be way sore in no time. Even if he can handle it, it’ll make the rest of the experience less fun. Only pull out when he asks, or when you want to change positions, and you should do so slowly!
Don’t go over the top. A solid pace is usually better than alternating between fast and slow, but sometimes passionate moments should lead to some harder fucking.
Don’t try to go harder than you can handle - you’ll end up cumming before you want to
As for how long to hold out, don’t try to make yourself last forever. If you go for too long, he’ll feel less pleasure compared to his pain, and he’ll be much looser, which isn’t great for you. Good sex is about technique, not duration.
Pay attention to their face! It can be hard tell if their moaning is from pain or pleasure, so it’s up to you to tell when they’re really enjoying themselves. Learn what their different facial expressions really mean.
As a general tip, an open mouth usually means that they’re enjoying themselves, whereas a closed mouth or lip-biting typically means that they’re enduring pain.
Change positions a few times. Different positions feel wildly different as a bottom, and those sensations are highly dependent on the shapes of your dick and their ass. Try out a few positions to figure out what makes their toes curl. Avoid constantly changing around so that it doesn’t break the mood.
Make sure to please yourself, too! It’s extremely hot to know that the top is enjoying himself, so do what you like to make it good for you, too. He’ll appreciate (and so will you, of course)
Learn these lessons, and your bottom will appreciate it more than you can imagine.
