[lofirabbit]

Since when does anybody care about me. Since when do I fucking matter. I’m too much and I’ll always be too much

[lofirabbit]

gut me

[glumshoe]

what does your favorite Star Wars movie say about you? I liked Rogue One but I also like George Lucas’s first attempts at CGI updates of the original trilogy where Jabba just looks like absolute garbage. highlight of the series. I love that steaming pile of cgi shit that offends god and brings misery into the world.

[clownfactories]

i can’t remember what the original jabba looked like and i’m not even sure i’ve seen the updated version or not and at this point i’m scared to find out

[glumshoe]

An evolution of Jabba:

1997 is my favorite because it’s such an abomination on so many levels. 2004 isn’t very good either but it lacks the inept charm of the previous incarnation.

[starlight-starwings]

What are your thoughts on Clone Wars Jabba?

[glumshoe]

Frankly I’m uncomfortable with the alarmingly chiseled and topographic cleft chin, but this style makes him look like a sweet old tortoise. I would feed this Jabba a very large head of lettuce and pat the top of his head and then I would laugh at him.

[absolxguardian]

Since it’s apparently “Ship rates Jabba” hours, thoughts on TPM Jabba and Darth Vader (2015) Jabba?

[glumshoe]

TPM Jabba is dreadful, managing to be both bland and unconvincing in design yet horrifying by virtue of the suggestion of humanoid breasts. Jabba should not have mammalian breast tissue, even the suggestion of it. Why does he have boobs? That Jabba has tiddies. I think if you’re going to slap some tits on Jabba you can’t do it subtly—you have to make them overt and in your face if you’re going to dare to do it at all. Otherwise it’s just cowardly. Give hip pierced and prominent nipples or commit to making him a big slug. Don’t go halvsies. I hate this Jabba.

The comic Jabba is fine. He looks like the original puppet but slimier. Bad to look at. I do not want to feed him heads of lettuce and pat his head.

[lofirabbit]

I’ve never actually seen any Star Wars movies. Can someone pls explain the 1977 one im so confused?? Was Jabba originally just... A Guy????

[metapianycist]

autistic self diagnosis is valid

[actingnt]

a person: i’m autistic. i don’t have a professional diagnosis.

a neurotypical: you can’t! self diagnose! autism!!! onLy a dOctor can do that!!!

most doctors: don’t know what autism looks like in people other than nonverbal white cis boys

most doctors: recommend abusive therapies for autistic kids and teens

most doctors who specialize in diagnosing autism: refuse to evaluate adults

an autism evaluation for a minor teen who wants one: requires having supportive parents who understand that autism is not a tragedy and looks different for every autistic person, and that many autistic people can talk, have friends, do okay in school, and otherwise fake looking neurotypical

an autism evaluation for an adult: very expensive and often not covered by insurance in the U.S., also extremely difficult to get in France

an on-record autism diagnosis: can be used to deny you custody of children, to have your kids taken away, to forcibly institutionalize you

autism advocacy orgs that actually help autistic ppl like ASAN, AWN, AANE: Here are some resources for figuring out if you could be autistic. Professional diagnosis is a very personal decision and is not required for knowing that you’re one of us. We support you as an autistic person even if you don’t have a paper diagnosis.

a sincere autism self diagnosis: harms no one even if it’s incorrect, enables the person to feel part of a community of people with similar issues and learn more about autism, a gateway to learning about autism acceptance movements, often the first step toward self acceptance and self esteem

[ethan---green]

Okay, this post actually helped me a lot a while back. Idk if I’m ADHD or autistic, but either way, super helpful

[aprotestforyourheart]

This post is really helpful!

[owlmylove]

not 2 be controversial on main but i think it’s pretty sad the first major generation to grow up online is projecting their adolescent self-hatred onto the “cringe” generation of tiktokkers

[owlmylove]

did zillennials seriously spend their youth making OC fanart on devart and livejournal and being told “oh look, they finally emerge” by their parents whenever they risked leaving their room only to turn around 10 years later and say “ewwwh you spent hours cosplaying an OC & learning a viral dance in your bedroom? fuckin cringe”

[owlmylove]

like….. did we truly lose sight so quickly of how it was to feel young and disconnected and desperate for someone, anyone, to really listen to you? to feel close to you? how quickly have we become jaded to the joys of carefully, earnestly crafting something alone in a dark bedroom and sharing it with the world, hoping for just one other person to say “that’s how i feel, too”? how much must we hate our younger selves in order to blame the teenagers of the world for creating costumes and dances and dreams for themselves???

[theclockworkjudas]

Young people of the world:

I might not understand it, but I want you to keep doing your funky lil thing, and know that I will never judge you.

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

Medievalists of Tumblr: what inaccuracies annoy you the most in movies set in the Middle Ages?

Mine is probably the 'everyone was constantly caked in mud and only wore grey and brown' aesthetic.

[mediaeval-muse]

Same. Also the idea that “women were property so they did nothing but sew and have babies and the time was inherently backwards and violent”

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

the complete absence of christianity from pop culture perceptions of the medieval period really bugs me (or it being relegated to the fringes and a few monks somewhere)

like... this was a major part of most people’s daily lives even if it didn’t necessarily look like christianity as we know it. also medieval theology is fucking wild! where are all the debates about cannibal babies in pop culture medieval stuff? WHERE is the twelfth century werewolf renaissance? the fuckign infancy gospels?? give me weird medieval theology you cowards

[cukibola-deactivated20200917]

A lot of them had already been mentioned, so may I add

"The dishes were only bland soups and maybe some moldy bread"

I'm studying English language and literature, not History, but like... Pork vs Pig... Deer vs Venison... Cow vs Beef... May give you the idea THEY FUCKING ATE MEAT AT LEAST GODDAMIT

And not even like we do

Where's the feast with venison? The ridiculous amount of salmon and other fishes? The little gardens full of spices? Or the trade of exotic foods? Slaughtering season was celebrated in some places not that much ago (like... I saw one when little), why not portray one?

And more importantly

WHERE'S THE CHICKEN WITH HELMET???

GIVE ME CHICKEN WITH HELMET OR GIVE ME DEATH

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

Yeah, and for better or for worse they were much less picky about which animals they ate than we are. Porpoise, anyone?

Medieval people loved their spices; The Forme of Cury has a lot of flavours I'd associate more with Indian food than anything else. Even if you weren't a wealthy seasoning-loving king like Richard II, you could still have garlic, onions, and herbs.

Also please link me a picture of the chicken with helmet if you can, I need to see this.

[cukibola-deactivated20200917]

Here it is

Here's a link with more info. Apparently the dish is called Singing Chicken... But that's a chicken with a helmet

Top 12 weirdest Medieval food

In Medieval times, food was medicine, religion and status. And in Medieval feasts, an art-form The Medieval poor mostly ate pottage - basic

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

This is the best thing I've ever seen.

[elfwreck]

Hollywood has a tendency to portray the past as “just like today, minus whatever of today’s things we know they didn’t have.” There’s no concept that the past had things that today doesn’t.

Like bawdy medicinal tips.

[akashic-gleek]

@candiceirae

[candiceirae]

The idea that people used spices to cover spoiled meat is similarly stupid and utterly infuriating.

And yes, the gaping absence of religion from depictions of the Middle Ages is jarring.

[sca-nerd]

All of this, but mostly that they existed in a sepia toned world with no color, pattern, or texture.

[crows-n-cats]

Going off the colors of textiles, the assumption that their textiles were always crude and rough compared to today's. Think of the twills and brocades! The cloth of gold! The silks, and the wool so gauzy you could see through it! The soft wool clothing! The quality and variety of fabric we have available has plummetted since the industrial revolution.

[brunhiddensmusings]

beyond conventional spices the medieval cook and especially the resourceful housewife would have been exploiting herbs by the fistfull on a level we today cannot comprehend, like we dont even know what some of the names of herbs they used even mean anymore and they grew them like suburban homeowners today grow ugly border hedges. whatever soups they had access to had a decent chance of being something that would be 100% locally grown and every bit as flavorful as any regonal dish today withiout having to resort to saying ‘well they could possibly have been eating curry’ instead of giving them a flavor identity of their own. just because ‘spice’ isnt readily available dont assume ‘flavor’ is out of reach, the aromatics they used would be on par with the modern french concept of mirepoix but, moving past the kitchen the two things that irk me are that everyone toiled miserably and everything was grey stone, rudely carved buildings, shoddy construction unadorned well yeah, if you went to a decrepit ruin thats been abandoned for centuries it would look like that, but not when people lived there! you see the shows and movies and sweet baby cheese the kings residence looks like a dank basement and sometimes he doesnt even have a change of clothes when castles were in use they were prominent displays of power and wealth, whitewashed so that even small amounts of light reflected well inside them so that they illuminated well, paintings and murals in a riot of colors and displaying personal tastes, tapestries that may be the local lords wife, aunt, or grandmothers gift to them as tappestry making was a popular hobby at court where women gathered to gossip and giggle while making vibrantly colored decorations that are usually dismissed because the only ones that survive had endured about 500 years of sun damage, smoke damage, and uncertain cleaning history

that clearly showed the people of the time valued color, had style, and only occasionally made horses look like a dog made out of play-doh. even people who didnt live in a castle still had access to paint to liven up the plaster walls of their homes, brightly dyed fabrics and flowers were as available to them as and they sang, constantly. what we assume was a life of toiling in the mud from dusk till dawn the whole year was typically a relaxed paced life of 10 hour a night sleep in a comfortable bed where work didnt start untill you had your flagon of ale and a song with your buddies as you walked to the field, you sang as you worked, took three ale breaks from work while singing, and then you sang as you walked to the tavern so you could sing while you played nine mens morris or cheated at mancala because you thought the miller was too soused to notice. we barely know any of the songs they sang and humanity is less for it, a scant handfull of them do remain and its just beautiful to hear what a table of tavern patrons would break into song about to prove they werent too drunk for another round song and story were all day every day, theres a reason the most well known middle english text was canterbury tales- whose narrative was that a selection of travelers on the way to the same location had an ongoing bar-bet about who could tell the better story, asking bartenders to judge the complexity of these stories, all of which were absolutely valid as just shit you would say to another drunk in a tavern, would give modern soap operas a swift kick in the pants and its sad that it takes a historian to tell you just how crass and lowbrow humor they were on a similar vein to how so many people somehow forgot that shakespear was lowbrow humor for the commoner and not somehow too sophisticated for rubes it wasnt just bards who would own an instrument, instruments are wood, leather, string, bone/horn, or even clay... those are all commonly available and affordable if not straight up FREE items to someone in the medieval world so a hefty chunk of the population would have an instrument and know how to use it, anything from a wood flute to a simple drum to an ocarina. many designs were even specifically for travel so you could always have it at the ready

how about this- in all the versions of robin hood i have -EVER- seen the most historically accurate any of them got was the scene in kevin costner ‘king of theves’ where friar tuck was singing to himself while on the road ‘women wine and whoring’. not just because its one of the only times in any medieval period movie ive seen someone singing to pass the time in the mind-numbing hours of traveling before the invention of the car radio, but ALSO because they based the tune he sings off the classic ‘ Bache Benne Venies’, the oldest known drinking song we still know the words and tune of and let me tell you that song slaps talk to me about historical accuracy in movies and ill tell you that tolkein writing hobbit songs for walking, drinking, or describing what an elephant was was more historically accurate then all of GOT passed through a sieve to collect every grain of stray element of medievalness gaily dressed hobbits full of pie, sitting in a well decorated room full of beautiful hand carved furniture, on their fifth ale, and singing about the man in the moon getting shitfaced is about ten times historically accurate as most anything else i can think of if you ignored the historical accuracy of them being hobbits

[the-gayest-dovah]

There were also lots of non-white people in the middle ages but you don't ever see it in pop culture

[amayikes]

Every word in this post is art and it is a wonderful, invaluable resource,

but is nobody commenting that @elfwreck 's medicinal tip was to slap butter in your wife's ass and then lick it off to cure her toothache

[elfwreck]

No, to cure YOUR toothache. (And it doesn’t need to be your wife; any woman’s arse will presumably do. It’s just that women who aren’t your wife aren’t as likely to cooperate.) 

I mean. It probably works? If you slather someone’s rear end with a pound of butter and then lick it off, you’re probably not going to be thinking about your toothache by the time you’re done.

[robotsandfrippary]

For me, it’s the idea that “women’s work” of sewing and weaving wasn’t hella profitable. The man grew the veggies and the woman sold her work for coin. Or trade.  Trade like ...spices.  

Or arranged marriages at the lowest levels.  The peasants usually married for love or mutual agreement.  

[lofirabbit]

at this point i almost never log into tumblr and evidently neither do most of the blogs i follow. im really only still here to occasionally get updates on the @simonalkenmayer @vampireapologist wedding and that’s on that

[yeoldenews]

A sincere request from someone who has spent her entire adult life wishing people had kept better records…

In the coming weeks and months… RECORD WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Start a journal, take photos, keep a video diary, make a daily blog post, jot a few notes down in a day planner, whatever!

It is not very often that you can be certain that you’re living in a time that historians will study in detail.

The nightly news can tell us the facts, twitter can tell us the larger cultural trends, but no one can keep an accurate record of your daily life and honest thoughts during this crisis but you.

Are you scared to death? Write it down.

Are you still thinking this is being blown out of proportion? Write it down.

Are you still being forced to work and are pissed as hell about it? Write it down.

Did you see someone do something kind that made you smile? Write it down.

Is your grocery store completely out of toilet paper? Take a picture.

Is your normally bustling neighborhood eerily empty? Take a video.

Did you see a really funny plague joke on twitter? Write it down so you/your grandkids and/or future historians can have a laugh.

I have never successfully kept a journal in my entire life, but I’ve been keeping one since the 10th. Nothing fancy. Just a summary of my day in quarantine, what my family’s up to, today’s news and my current thoughts.

Even if it’s only for you to look back on this time honestly, without the bias of hindsight, you won’t regret doing it.

Future historians will thank you.

[weedle-testaburger]

one of my friends on facebook just said if the cinemas never reopen the last film he ever saw would be the sonic movie and i realized ‘that’d be a fun game’, rb this with what yours would be in the tags

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

[lofirabbit]

Baybees

But seriously thank you for the serotonin in these especially trying, panic-filled times.

[gahdamnpunk]

“I’m only five years old myself, please don’t kill me” 😭🥺 But nah the kids are ALL RIGHT

[mr-dalliard-ive-gone-peculiar]

[piratedykes]

It will forever haunt me that I cannot share this joke with everyone I meet

[motive11331]

[deep-dark-fears]

Sit a spell. A fear submitted by Naomi to Deep Dark Fears - thanks!

You can find my Deep Dark Fears books at your local library, online, and wherever books are sold! More info HERE!

[leghorn]

saw this on a craigslist ad for baby goats

[lofirabbit]

@pangur-and-grim

[jerryterry]

those people making memes and gifs and shit of doomguy killing and beating up isabelle or whatever is just the evolved version of kids making ms paint videos of bart simpson shooting barney and elmo with a machine gun

[thepleasuregoblin]

Posts that make you realize how good you are at curating your online experience

[anexperimentallife]

Being autistic/having adhd is just like [feels uncomfortable but unsure why, so must change things and move things around at random until either comfort, exhaustion, or meltdown is achieved] until you die