Fun Ghoul.

*insert name here* 20. Seattle. p.s. I love Calum 5sos blog. / For shitty vlogs click here!

[pharahsgf]

[sebdoesnothing]

She saw her moment and got glossed up for it

[neopoints]

me n the girls walkin into target headed straight to the clearance bread rack

[jerryterry]

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

jerrod how long did it take you to photoshop all that bread

[jerryterry]

Did it the lazy easy way: 

It may be less than stellar, but I have a strict personal rule: “don’t put longer than 30 minutes’ effort into a fetish joke”. The second you hit 30:01, the exposure becomes lethal and the fetish becomes unironic.

[nyawave]

FETISH?????????

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

god i wish i were you

[dust-princess]

Whitch part is the fetish? Bread or Pokémon?

[hikari-ni-naritai]

I’m so sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but it’s the bread

[miraculous-writings]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS THE BREAD

[trappedinavelociraptor]

world heritage post

[erevshelshoshanim]

Growing up fat, you get made fun of for everything you do, even basic shit like eating and laughing and breathing are funny when you do it because youre fat! And its so hard to not carry that with you as you get older, like I’m still embarassed to eat or dance in front of people or smile in pictures and its ridiculous and I hate it and I wish I was treated with more humanity

[erevshelshoshanim]

Thin people can reblog this btw

[neopetsuser-deactivated20210119]

they wont tho lmao

[just-shower-thoughts]

In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.

[copperbadge]

“They live so long…but the good ones still bond with us for our entire lives.” 

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“These immortals are so kind we must be good friends to them”

[digital-gecko-deactivated201802]

My heart wtf

[aenramsden]

Not gonna lie, this fucked me up a bit.

[kaijufluffs]

POV Fantasy slice of life book when?

[katzedecimal]

“Now I am old. The fur around my muzzle is grey and my joints ache when we walk together. Yet she remains unchanged, her hair still glossy, her skin still fresh, her step still sprightly. Time doesn’t touch her and yet I love her still.”

[popetato]

“For generations, he has guarded over my family. Since the days of my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather he has kept us safe. For so long we thought him immortal. But now I see differently, for just as my fur grows gray and my joints grow stiff, so too do his. He did not take in my children, but gave them away to his. I will be the last that he cares for. My only hope is that I am able to last until his final moments. The death of one of his kind is so rare. The ending of a life so long is such a tragedy. He has seen so much, he knows so much. I know he takes comfort in my presence. I only wish that I will be able to give him this comfort until the end.”

[jovano-jovanke]

SHOOK

[toastbutteregg]

[hellsite-yano]

[hymnsofheresy]

i was with my mother’s family and they were talking to me about my religious studies major. my great aunt asked me what the definition of hell was, and i responded “well i suppose it depends on who you ask.” and nearly all the protestants in the group decided that hell was “the absence of god” which i suppose is a fair answer, albeit not a universal one. my cousin’s wife was playing with her 3-year-old daughter and she says “well mommy says that hell is a mcdonald’s playplace” asdfghjhgfd

[hymnsofheresy]

this 3-year-old girl is so fucking hilarious. her mothers have signed her up for a toddler yoga class, and so she has adopted a very unique language. this child also has an imaginary friend named “mom” which is, in her mind, the boss of her two mothers. for example, my cousin’s wife explained to me how her daughter got mad at them one time. the little girl situated herself in the corner of her crib, pretended to type on a cell phone and said  “im writing an email to mom right now and telling her how bad you two are. namaste.”

[hymnsofheresy]

the family’s Big Theory about “Mom” is that both my cousin and her wife are referred to as “Mommy” and “Mama.” The nickname “Mom” is not used in the house because it would just be confusing. However, when interacting with the world, people tell their daughter that they will “tell her mom” if she is doing something wrong. so this child automatically assumes there is this greater “Mom” figure that is responsible for distributing universal justice. 

[superdames]

Re-posting this because I finally got to scan it in high-res.

Betty Bates is a goddamn hero.

—“Betty Bates, Lady-at-Law” in Hit Comics #47 (1947)

[jujureview-deactivated20200816]

“…And I’m the district attorney!” Is the biggest power move.

[veryfunnymemes]

[i-cant-make-a-good-name]

[dandy-boi-ftm]

The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.

[shadowkat678]

Wait…what?

[2fngrsin]

Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄

[skrytch]

[dontthinkonithermione]

Maybe Foreign Language Wouldn’t Be So Foreign

Based off of this text post for @emettkaysworld + @bumblebeebats

Hermione: It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek.

Hermione: “Expelliarmus”?

[yaminoendo]

My new favorite version of Hermione.

[snorlaxatives]

who would win in a fight: an army of lush employees vs an army of bath and body works employees??? discuss

[mattandjones]

lush employees, who are more adept at guerrilla warfare and fabian tactics. bath and body works employees rely too much on pitched battle and are not equipped well enough for prolonged conflict

[snailgutz-deactivated20190821]

I disagree with some of that, I feel as though the Bath and Body Works employees are pretty well trained in the art of handling an all out attack. Their defenses are high and well coordinated. Remember, they deal with white moms on the daily, whereas I feel that Lush employees are more used to dealing with a younger generation of customers.I feel as though they’d be equally matched but in the end I feel with the advancement in technology that Lush possesses over Bath and Body Works in terms of sheer amount that they sell, ultimately Lush wins, but not without heavy casualties.

[dreamnectar]

All true, but everyone is forgetting Bath and Body Works employees have extreme training dealing with the hell on Earth that is Semi Annual Sale. Have you ever seen someone come between a white woman in her 40s and Vanilla Bean Noel at 75% off? Bath and Body Works employees have and still live to tell their stories

[dakterrible]

I think terrain is an important consideration? Lush employees are better at straight melee since they’re used to fighting in close quarters, whereas B&BW employees have more experience in moving through wider terrain and using ranged attacks.

[greenekangaroo]

this is the kind of discourse I want on my dash

[thegentlemangamer-deactivated20]

My wife: “All the B&BW folks would have to do is throw a few water balloons into a Lush store and it would be all over.”

[freelux]

The only reason I want a boyfriend is so that when I’m singing Fergilicious and it’s at the part where she says “I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness he’s my witness” I can point to him and he’ll do the little “wooOOH” part because right now I have to do both parts by myself and it’s stressful because right after the wooOOH part I have to get right back into rapping and the transition is harder than you think 

[thebootydiaries]

*black people with guns*

white people: criminal thugs!!!!!!

*arab people with guns*

white people: terrorists!!!!!!!

*white people with guns*

white people: well you know, that's our second amendment right. so...

[thedeactivateddeactivated]

[dragontatoes]

Warm blooded creature: wow I’m chilly

Warm blooded creature: *vibrates*

[quorpiest]

Cold blooded creature: wow I’m chilly

Cold blooded creature: goes into a coma

[weavemama]

moral of the story is…..being racist and bitter makes you age like milk

[weavemama]

hey white ladies in the comments deeming this as misogynistic: making fun of, ridiculing, and belittling women (especially women and girls of color) is a part of katie hopkins’ racist ass brand:

she made fun of north west when she was baby, literally calling her ugly:

she made light of sexual exploitation whilst belittling Meghan Markle:

more belittling of Meghan Markle:

she took a video of Muslims (mostly Muslim women) without their consent and posted it to humiliate them:

if you really wanna care about misogyny then direct your anger towards this disgusting racist white woman who uses social media to constantly bash women of color…. not a bunch of young people making memes about how she ages like expired goods.

I make fun of katie hopkin’s appearance because she’s terrible, it’s funny, and I don’t care. thank you that’s all

[thewowsignal2026]

this has to be one of b99’s best opens

[brklyn-9-9]

generally one of televisions best openings

[ohiwasonlyfallinginlove-deactiv]

please watch brooklyn nine nine