update: i’ve made it through the user manual and have sewn myself a cravat. the sewing machine is a delicate breed of horse with anger in its motion and spite in its heart.
AU I will probably never write: the clone wars happen earlier than in canon, making Anakin a padawan for its whole duration. When Palpatine starts Order 66, Obi-Wan is still alone on Utapau, having left his sulking 19-year-old padawan back at the Temple as a mild punishment after another display of bad temper and rash decisions.
He then spends the next few years of his life alone in hiding, thinking that his decision killed his dear padawan and that their last words to each other were sharp and bitter.
'AU I will probably never write', I said as I put my clown shoes on and wrote the damn thing anyway, so here's 4k about their reunion after 10 years apart. Anakin cries. Obi-Wan cannot believe his padawan got older. There is a well-deserved hug ✨
You're about to read John Rich & The Big Picture, a very funny story about a very anxious man hurtling towards his soulmate at 200 mph.
At 28, John Rich is the youngest cover artist in the illustrious history of The New York Review. This means, every week, he draws a portrait of some notable person and this portrait becomes the cover of this very prestigious magazine. But when John is tasked with drawing the supposedly vapid (and obviously gorgeous) action movie star, Tyler Hughes, he discovers that Tyler is the one person he cannot draw.
Updates weekly.
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✏️ latest chapter >> here
You can also read the story online here: okjohnrich.site ✏️
FAQ under the cut. ⬇️
When does The Big Picture update? John Rich & The Big Picture updates on Friday afternoons.
Will you release this as an e-book at some point? When I'm done, yes, I'll release this novel in .PDF and .EPUB format.
People keep talking about taxes. What are the taxes? If you enjoyed reading this novel, you are legally required to pay the Friend Tax by telling a friend. Use lots of emojis and sound like you're going insane. (This helps.) Similarly, if you laugh at anything, you have to tell me in a comment or tag me on social media. This is the Laugh Tax. By paying your taxes you help me and others construct a non-monetary socialist gift-based utopia.
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read this webnovel at okjohnrich.site because there's a 100% chance you're gonna love it, wish you had started it sooner, and re-read the chapters because you laughed so hard.
The Well of Sorrows is kind of horrifying when you look at it a certain way, especially paired with how strongly Solas reacts if the Inquisitor even considers drinking from it, never mind actually doing it (and the fight afterwards with him). I think that reaction comes from Solas understanding what’s actually inside the Well.
I think the Well is a reservoir of trapped spirits.
The Well is described as a magical pool that preserves the knowledge of Mythal’s servants, but what is knowledge really if not memory? The memories of lives, emotions, identities, experiences, all poured into the waters over centuries by generations of elves serving Mythal. Spirits are shaped through those very things, so if the Well is filled with preserved knowledge of Mythal’s servants, then I think it's fair to say, these are the spirits of these ancient elves.
I'm sure this isn't a new theory, just one I've been thinking on more. It feels like there are beings in the Well, beings that have awareness. They speak and answer questions asked of them. They give Morrigan or the Inquisitor the answer on how to defeat Corypheus. They know the password to get past the Sentinels in Trespasser. And they are completely controlled by Flemythal.
What if these ancient elves who served Mythal believed they were preserving their culture and knowledge for future generations, but in reality it was their spirits that would be bound inside the Well? Who would willingly choose to have their spirit trapped forever in a kind of eternal purgatory? Because there’s actually nothing in the lore that says this was fully voluntary or informed consent. Abelas only says:
“As each servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on… through this.”
If you serve Mythal, then this is what is expected of you when you are close to death. Perhaps some ancient elves did volunteer, but what if some fought against it, wanting their spirits to be freed instead upon their death, and so it was decided none of these elves would be told the truth, that it would trap their spirits.
Because I can’t forget Solas’ insight into the death of spirits:
“The energy of spirits returns to the Fade. If the idea giving the spirit form is strong, or if the memory has shaped other spirits, it may someday rise again.”
…unless they get shoved into the Well of Sorrows, of course.
These elves may have believed if they gave their knowledge then their energy would be returned to the Fade where maybe, just maybe they could rise again. But the reality was darker - they were surrendering their spirits into eternal service under Mythal’s command.
Because whoever drinks from the Well is bound to Mythal, Abelas confirms it, which means the voices within (spirits) are all bound to Mythal. And she knew this, created the Well for this purpose.
“This meeting was no accident, was it?”
“Clever girl.”
“The voices… came from you?”
“The price of the Well seemed no dire thing when you saw so much gain, hmm?
“I wished to see who drank from the Well of Sorrows. It has been a very long time.”
Abelas: Our duty is all that remains. Those who drank from the vir’abelasan paid a great price, bound to the service of Mythal for eternity.
How many others have drank from this Well through history, and bound to Mythal. In addition to Abelas's dialogue there is ambient dialogue from a young elf in DAI who talks about hearing Mythal’s voice, and it does suggest this elf also found the Well. Did he drink from it and now this poor lad is forever bound to Mythal? This elf's face is clear of vallaslin when we meet him but later on after subsequent visits, he has one.
So if the Well does contain trapped spirits, then Mythal certainly has a pattern here hey? A history of keeping spirits tied to service and purpose for her.
“I pulled you from the Fade and sent you into war."
And what if that was eventually a fate meant for Solas? He was a servant of Mythal after all. Would Mythal want the knowledge of Wisdom to go to waste and return to the Fade should he die in battle? What if he found out? It would makes complete sense why he would be horrified by the Well and would be yet another reason their relationship falls apart.
It would also seem that Abelas and the other Sentinels are bound. They aren’t able to leave and instead go into uthenera, only awakening when the temple is threatened. They too are trapped in an endless cycle of duty tied to Mythal.
And then there is Abelas’ name: sorrow.
Was he always sorrow, or did centuries of guarding the temple and knowing what the Well truly is turn him into sorrow? Let’s say the Well is filled with trapped spirits. Then Abelas isn’t just protecting sacred knowledge - sadly, he’s protecting a prison of his kin. It makes me wonder what Abelas did to be put into a role like that, or if he too volunteered, not realizing what being in service to Mythal actually meant.
Which makes Solas’ dialogue with Abelas emotional, because it almost sounds like he’s trying to free him.
“There are other places, friend. Other duties.”
“There is a place for you, lethallin… if you seek it.”
“I said… I hoped he finds a new name.”
When it comes to spirits, names are important. They define who they are, their purpose. Solas isn't simply wishing Abelas happiness. He’s hoping Abelas can finally free himself from the sorrow and duty he’s been bound to for thousands of years.
Lastly, evidence that it's spirits in the Well for me? Matt Rhodes' art where it's called the Well of Souls.
The Well of Sorrows is kind of horrifying when you look at it a certain way, especially paired with how strongly Solas reacts if the Inquisitor even considers drinking from it, never mind actually doing it (and the fight afterwards with him). I think that reaction comes from Solas understanding what’s actually inside the Well.
I think the Well is a reservoir of trapped spirits.
The Well is described as a magical pool that preserves the knowledge of Mythal’s servants, but what is knowledge really if not memory? The memories of lives, emotions, identities, experiences, all poured into the waters over centuries by generations of elves serving Mythal. Spirits are shaped through those very things, so if the Well is filled with preserved knowledge of Mythal’s servants, then I think it's fair to say, these are the spirits of these ancient elves.
I'm sure this isn't a new theory, just one I've been thinking on more. It feels like there are beings in the Well, beings that have awareness. They speak and answer questions asked of them. They give Morrigan or the Inquisitor the answer on how to defeat Corypheus. They know the password to get past the Sentinels in Trespasser. And they are completely controlled by Flemythal.
What if these ancient elves who served Mythal believed they were preserving their culture and knowledge for future generations, but in reality it was their spirits that would be bound inside the Well? Who would willingly choose to have their spirit trapped forever in a kind of eternal purgatory? Because there’s actually nothing in the lore that says this was fully voluntary or informed consent. Abelas only says:
“As each servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on… through this.”
If you serve Mythal, then this is what is expected of you when you are close to death. Perhaps some ancient elves did volunteer, but what if some fought against it, wanting their spirits to be freed instead upon their death, and so it was decided none of these elves would be told the truth, that it would trap their spirits.
Because I can’t forget Solas’ insight into the death of spirits:
“The energy of spirits returns to the Fade. If the idea giving the spirit form is strong, or if the memory has shaped other spirits, it may someday rise again.”
…unless they get shoved into the Well of Sorrows, of course.
These elves may have believed if they gave their knowledge then their energy would be returned to the Fade where maybe, just maybe they could rise again. But the reality was darker - they were surrendering their spirits into eternal service under Mythal’s command.
Because whoever drinks from the Well is bound to Mythal, Abelas confirms it, which means the voices within (spirits) are all bound to Mythal. And she knew this, created the Well for this purpose.
“This meeting was no accident, was it?”
“Clever girl.”
“The voices… came from you?”
“The price of the Well seemed no dire thing when you saw so much gain, hmm?
“I wished to see who drank from the Well of Sorrows. It has been a very long time.”
Abelas: Our duty is all that remains. Those who drank from the vir’abelasan paid a great price, bound to the service of Mythal for eternity.
How many others have drank from this Well through history, and bound to Mythal. In addition to Abelas's dialogue there is ambient dialogue from a young elf in DAI who talks about hearing Mythal’s voice, and it does suggest this elf also found the Well. Did he drink from it and now this poor lad is forever bound to Mythal? This elf's face is clear of vallaslin when we meet him but later on after subsequent visits, he has one.
So if the Well does contain trapped spirits, then Mythal certainly has a pattern here hey? A history of keeping spirits tied to service and purpose for her.
“I pulled you from the Fade and sent you into war."
And what if that was eventually a fate meant for Solas? He was a servant of Mythal after all. Would Mythal want the knowledge of Wisdom to go to waste and return to the Fade should he die in battle? What if he found out? It would makes complete sense why he would be horrified by the Well and would be yet another reason their relationship falls apart.
It would also seem that Abelas and the other Sentinels are bound. They aren’t able to leave and instead go into uthenera, only awakening when the temple is threatened. They too are trapped in an endless cycle of duty tied to Mythal.
And then there is Abelas’ name: sorrow.
Was he always sorrow, or did centuries of guarding the temple and knowing what the Well truly is turn him into sorrow? Let’s say the Well is filled with trapped spirits. Then Abelas isn’t just protecting sacred knowledge - sadly, he’s protecting a prison of his kin. It makes me wonder what Abelas did to be put into a role like that, or if he too volunteered, not realizing what being in service to Mythal actually meant.
Which makes Solas’ dialogue with Abelas emotional, because it almost sounds like he’s trying to free him.
“There are other places, friend. Other duties.”
“There is a place for you, lethallin… if you seek it.”
“I said… I hoped he finds a new name.”
When it comes to spirits, names are important. They define who they are, their purpose. Solas isn't simply wishing Abelas happiness. He’s hoping Abelas can finally free himself from the sorrow and duty he’s been bound to for thousands of years.
Lastly, evidence that it's spirits in the Well for me? Matt Rhodes' art where it's called the Well of Souls.
Another character trope that I fucking love: When the characters end up in a situation that's unlike anything they've ever experienced as a group, and as a huge plot twist the one who's been useless this whole time turns out to be in their element right here. Like not only does the pathetic whiny comic relief who can't do anything know exactly what they need to do here, they're terrifyingly good at it.
Especially if it also turns out that they're famous or even feared for this skillset they have, in these circles the protagonists have never ventured in before. And there's a huge clash in the level of respect that they and these new people have for this mf in particular. Having conversations like
"Holy shit you know the Red Duke? Like the Red Duke? The man who can predict how a battle will end, two years before it happens, just by looking at the opposing armies' expense reports?"
"Uh, yeah? He's been in our party for like two years now."
"You've travelled together? What is he like?"
"Well, he screams like a little girl and he never checks his sleeping bag before getting in."
"...What do you mean by checking it? Why should he be checking his sleeping bag in the first place?"
Not a scholar at first, but the guy who wrote Jaws hated that people used it to justify hating sharks so much he dedicated the rest of his life to shark research and advocacy.
(afaik- the woman who popularized gender reveals did so because she had a long history of miscarriages. The reveal was a celebration of the fact that one of her pregnancies had gotten far enough that there WAS a physical sex to reveal. It was never intended to be like... *gestures at modern gender reveals* all that. That same kid later came out as trans and yes, the family had a second gender reveal for that lol.)
L. David Mech, who popularised the idea that there were 'alpha' and 'beta' wolves in his 1970 book The Wolf, has spent the rest of his career trying to debunk this. (The original studies were done on captive wolves, and thus didn't simulate an accurate model of wolf pack dynamics.)
The idea that wolf packs are led by a merciless dictator, or alpha wolf, comes from old studies of captive wolves. In the wild, wolf packs a
In the wild, researchers have found that most wolf packs are simply families, led by a breeding pair, and bloody duels for supremacy are rare.
“What would be the value of calling a human father the alpha male?” says L. David Mech, a senior research scientist at the U.S. Geological Survey, who has studied wolf packs in the wild for decades. “He’s just the father of the family. And that’s exactly the way it is with wolves.”
Ao3 is my library. @loonyladymn - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
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