saudades, saudades, saudades
i dont want to be alone anymore, i only feel whole when i get to dream every night and see everyone from my old life
i dont know whats worse, to give up hope, or to have another heartbreak every morning, when i open my eyes, try to get up and realize im just as sick as the day before
i miss myself, i miss the worlds i used to create in my mind
i miss my friends so much, but i dont even know who i miss, because how could they all have left me behind
i miss being seen, i miss surprising others with kindness, i miss meeting new people, seeing new places
i miss taking care of people, taking care of the house, taking care of myself, making food, dreaming about which furniture id want to get
i miss having problems that weren't my health, i miss being sad, and angry and frustrated, i barely feel things anymore
whats the point? anger and resentment wont change my situation, nobody knows im stuck in this bed, i dont even feel real
all i dream of is when will people finally wake up? will they protest for us? will they care? when will doctors catch up? will they regret it and apologize? when will a treatment come out? will it all get back to normal or is there permanent damage? when will they figure this out? when will i be free and alive again? when will i exist again?
i miss myself, i miss myself so much, do they miss me too?