We're all mad here.

[lostinwonderland451]

Grief

I cannot imagine a world without my Adam. I don't want to think about it at all, but I know one day it will come, where he won't have me, or I won't have him. But I hope when that day comes we both know how much we love one another, and how great our lives together were. Five years ago I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way towards anyone. I cannot express how crazy knowing him and getting to love him has been.  I know we don't live forever, but I want to make the most of the time that I am here. One of my dear friends had a post the other day about what we would want to be remembered for, and though I didn't feel confident answering on the post, I finally know what I want to be remembered for, I want to be known as a kind, hardworking, determined person. I'm sitting here in my office after finishing up my second to last week discussion in my class, crying, hoping my Adam doesn't walk down the hallway. 

I forgot my adhd and psych meds today, and I’m in my feels. 

[lostinwonderland451]

oh Hi, long time no Tumblr.  I’ve not been online here since 2016. 5 years I’ve been gone. Which is fine, because I never had a following or best friends on here, but it’s weird looking back at posts from 5 years ago and how relevant they all still seem to be.  Update on life I guess:  I got married in 2020 to my honest to God Soulmate.  I started a job in 2019 in my field of study after walking out of my job at Walmart in 2016. I bounced between a few jobs before then and now, but it was worth it.  Adam and I have two adopted fur babies, Duke, and Sokka. Both are ass holes but we love them.  2021 was difficult. It was one of the hardest years of my life. Adam and I were newlyweds trying to figure out what we were doing with our lives, and incorporating being married into the throw of things. We had financial hardships and job stress which caused a dependency on alcohol and fighting with one another. I started having flashbacks of things I thought I'd healed from. Things that horrifically happened when I was a child. I lashed out. I tried to hit him. I broke a door. He broke a door.  He drunkenly pushed me so hard one night he bruised my sternum.  We cried together. We realized things were not good. We stopped drinking. I started therapy in March of 2021. I was diagnosed with PTSD, and in December 2021, was diagnosed with ADHD. The PTSD is from trauma in my childhood and some of my early adulthood.  He changed jobs. We found peace.  It’s still hard. I cry a lot. He plays EOS but it helps him destress. I’ve also decided I’m going to start blogging on here again. I’m highly doubtful anyone will ever read any of this, but it may help. Help the hatred I still feel for myself even though I do therapy once a week and know how loved I am. He tells me every day and shows me the majority of the time.  He’s broken too, but in a different way. That’s his story to tell though.  I’m in graduate school for mental health counseling too. I’m almost a full year in (March 2022!) and I have a 3.8 GPA. I never thought I’d have the will or support to do it, but here we are. I’m going to be able to actually make an impact and I feel so relieved I can.  Well, that’s all for now. I hope anyone who reads this has had a good last 5 years.

[fuck-customers]

We ask for respect as human beings, while customers ask for respect as authority figures. They get their way, we dont get ours.

[losingthe-war]

[rubyreed]

[awed-frog]

Do I need to say something?

Nah.

[whitebeltwriter]

he knew he knew exactly what he was doing

[violet-nomad-deactivated2018120]

SLOW CLAP

[pipermashea]

I had to reblog it twice

[heavydirtyghoul-inactive-deacti]

sORRY BUT THIS IS AMAZING

[riversixx]

Things I've heard my (cis/het) brother say while he's been in college for the last year:

-(Heard over the phone) “I don’t care WHAT is in your pants or what you identify as, GET THE FUCKING PISS OFF THE TOILET SEAT” - “I don’t get why some men like to call themselves straight and then say they’d never date a Trans woman because honestly if you’re willing to exclude an entire subsection of women based on something so stupid you’re probably not worth their time anyways” -“I don’t know why some guys worry about gay men in the locker rooms because if I was a gay guy, even I wouldn’t date me. I’ve been wearing the same shirt for three days.“ -(Over spring break) “How the fuck do you make Kraft mac&cheese” -“What do you mean it’s written on the box– WAIT SHIT IT IS” -“I hit on a lesbian two weeks ago in the SU without knowing it and I still feel bad about it” -“I honestly think I’d prefer living with a (Trans) person at this point because if they’re even as half as cool as you then it’s got to be better than living with two 19 year old boys who have fucking competitions of who can piss farther on the ceiling” -“For some reason even in college guys don’t seem to get that the only reason I get so many girls’ numbers is because I treat them like I would treat anyone else” -“No seriously they think you have to act uninterested or like a dick for some reason” -“No I don’t know why they think hitting on a lesbian is anything but a lot of secondhand embarrassment for the rest of us” -“My roommate came into the room looking really dejected and when I asked why he said that he spent hours talking to this girl just to find out that she had a boyfriend the whole time and didn’t say anything” (And after me asking why it mattered) “I dunno, apparently he doesn’t understand the concept of friends” -(After me saying I don’t get heterosexuals sometimes) “Even I don’t understand straight guys little dude, and I am one”

[riversixx]

Also: “I’m actually really glad you’re a boy because now I can do THIS” (pretends to full on body slam me into the couch and then carries me around over his shoulder in a fit of laughter)

[ratifiedrebel-deactivated201902]

omg this warms my heart

[riversixx]

Holy shit this got 1K notes you’re all gonna make my brother cocky

[dudly-and-dragons-deactivated20]

I love your brother and want to give him flowers and chocolate.

[thecommonchick]

At first I felt sorry for the dog, but then..

[catlud]

She’s perfect

[theslaybymic]

OITNB highlights an uncomfortable truth about sexual assault

In the fourth season of Orange Is the New Black, Tiffany “Pennsatucky” Doggett (Taryn Manning) deals with the aftermath of her rape by the prison guard Coates (James McMenamin). The storyline confronts the reality of rape and being a survivor — one that Doggett and real-life survivor Emma Sulkowicz share.

Follow @this-is-life-actually

[psych2go]

I love these 10 cute motivational posts from chibird.

[chibird]

Ahh this is me! >u< Just a small collection of some of my art.

[weirdbuzzfeed]

[toolers]

i’d like to nominate this for an oscar 

[staraptor]

im still pissed off that birds get to spend their days flying about and cats get to sleep for 16 hours a day and im stuck dealing with capitalism and expectations

[sixpenceee]

A compilation of adorable sleeping giraffes. I thought this was necessary. (Source)

[babygirlpurple]

Butt pillow so comfy and cosy

[her-eyes-dared-me-with-danger]

It’s hurting my neck just looking at them

[imaginary-person]

[awesome-picz]

Today Is National Take Your Dog To Work Day.

[mykylosrens-blog]

Just reblog this whoever you are please this is cute and what a beautiful family portrait

[femaeres]

@givemeadamnusernamepls

[msdymonddiva-deactivated2020051]

I felt this in my soul…

[fan-of-many-expert-of-none]

Me. Nearly every day having to deal with people who are “just trying to be nice”

[iamqueencupcake-blog]

Real life though!