Pompkin

ok ive decided your all my valentines tomorrow HEHEHHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

How Dare You! I'm not your Valentine. You're My Valentine!

:0 oh?

Yeah. We meet in two hours. We go see a movie. I give you a bouquet of handmade wire flowers and we both have a great time. I'll even wear a nice outfit and everything

omg im down lets go

I am out side your apartment join be on Mt cool scooter safety motiesycl

okok *opens door* oh hello

*Pompkin and Mango proceeded to have a very nice time. If you count the unintended arson as nice they actually had extremely nice time*

#pkreb #pktalk

ok ive decided your all my valentines tomorrow HEHEHHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

How Dare You! I'm not your Valentine. You're My Valentine!

:0 oh?

Yeah. We meet in two hours. We go see a movie. I give you a bouquet of handmade wire flowers and we both have a great time. I'll even wear a nice outfit and everything

omg im down lets go

I am out side your apartment join be on Mt cool scooter safety motiesycl

#pkreb #pktalk

ok ive decided your all my valentines tomorrow HEHEHHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

How Dare You! I'm not your Valentine. You're My Valentine!

:0 oh?

Yeah. We meet in two hours. We go see a movie. I give you a bouquet of handmade wire flowers and we both have a great time. I'll even wear a nice outfit and everything

#pkreb #/j

ok ive decided your all my valentines tomorrow HEHEHHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

#/j #the audacity.#pktalk

How Dare You! I'm not your Valentine. You're My Valentine!

relientk

okay let's bake a cake 🎂

butter

sugar

eggs

flour

milk

baking powder

vanilla extract

Voting ended onFeb 10, 2023

dianapocalypse

princessmuk

So, going off the current poll results, let’s translate this into a real recipe…

I’ll be using this recipe as reference for a “normal” cake

The normal ingredients are as follows:

½ cup unsalted butter

1 cup white sugar

2 large eggs

1 ½ cups all-purpose flour

½ cup milk

1 ¾ teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Let’s translate these into percents so we can match the poll results. Our cake is x% butter, x%sugar, etc. To do that we first need to get all these ingredients into the same units. We’ll use teaspoons since that’s the smallest common unit.

In Teaspoons:

24 tsp butter

48 tsp sugar

2 large eggs ≈ ¼ cup and 2 tablespoons = 18 tsp

72 tsp flour

24 tsp milk

1 ¾ tsp baking powder

2 tsp vanilla extract

If we add it all up, our cake is 189.75 tsp in total. So, to put it into percents…

13% butter

25% sugar

9% eggs

38% flour

13% milk

1% baking powder

1% vanilla extract

So, a normal cake would have those percents!

Now, let’s look at the poll’s, uh… beautiful cake.

As of my writing this, we have the following:

9% butter

8% sugar

10% eggs

21% flour

8% milk

7% baking powder

38% vanilla extract!!!!

So, the eggs are pretty much perfect. Butter and milk are very close to the right percentages. Flour is about half of what we need. The sugar is INCREDIBLY low, while the baking powder is too high.

And the vanilla extract. Oh lord the vanilla extract.

Needless to say, this cake would not taste good. But, if you wanted to make it, what would the recipe be? Well, all we have to do is reverse engineer our previous math to do that!

Let’s use the original 100% of cake, 189.75, to figure out the tsp for every ingredient. As an example, butter is 9% of 189.75 = .09 X 189.75 = 17 tsp. You’ll notice this isn’t exactly the same as the 9% from the normal cake recipe. That’s because it was actually 9.4%, and we rounded to whole numbers to match tumblr’s poll results. That 17 tsp is actually 17.0775, which doesn’t round up to 18 when rounded to a whole number. So, the results won’t be exactly the same, but it’s the best we can do given the rules of significant figures.

So, that being said, here is the recipe in tsp:

17 tsp butter

15 tsp sugar

19 tsp eggs

40 tsp flour

15 tsp milk

13 tsp baking powder

72 tsp vanilla extract

These numbers bring us to a total of 191 tsp, which is more than 100% of a cake. But I am tired and it is almost 3am so I am not going to fix that.

Finally let’s put these numbers into regular recipe formatting…

*insert 12 paragraphs of unnecessary backstory here*

✨🎂Tumblr Poll Cake🍰✨ Ingredients:

17 tsp unsalted butter

15 tsp white sugar

2 large eggs

40 tsp (or ¾ cup and 4 tsp) all-purpose flour

2 ½ oz (or 15 tsp) milk

13 tsp baking soda

1 ½ cups vanilla extract

In conclusion: cake bad and cake watery

Cooking With Tumblr: "Why Are We Here? Just to Suffer?" Edition

Tumblr, I come to you as a woman on the verge of fulfilling her destiny. Thanks to a viral poll by @relientk, the newest meme on Tumblr is vanilla extract, specifically the act of using too much of it. Pure vanilla extract is, of course, expensive and also strong in small amounts. Who among us has that much vanilla extract on hand and is foolish enough to attempt this?

Me.

For personal reasons, I have a lot of vanilla extract in my apartment. It was here before the meme, and it will be here after. I had all the ingredients for the horrible poll cake except for milk, so I went out and bought some milk. It is three in the morning and very cold outside. Why am I doing this now instead of waiting for the poll to finish? Two reasons: the first being how fickle the internet in burning through memes, and the second being that five days gives my better judgement enough time to convince me not to do this.

Will God stop my sinful hands before the cake makes it into the oven? Let's find out!

Mise en Place

Here are all the ingredients in their Tumblr-approved quantities. No, your eyes are not deceiving you! That is indeed a teacup of vanilla extract. I laid everything out in twee little teacups to try and lessen the blow of this culinary affront to man about to occur in my kitchen. The baking powder is in a souvenir shot glass because I ran out of twee little teacups.

The exact measurements come courtesy of @princessmuk, who carefully adjusted a white cake recipe (LINKED HERE!) to the proportions of the poll. The percentages at the time she wrote her addition (left) are only negligibly different from the percentages now (right), so there's no need to adjust.

I've cut the her quantities in half because even I have limits, but the cooking time, temperature and everything else will match the recipe she based her post on.

Okay.

Tumblr, I'll be frank with you. This does not look, feel or smell like cake batter. For those who didn't read princessmuk's post, I'd like to inform you that the source recipe is called "Simple White Cake". This is not white, and nothing about this can be called "simple".

That said, I've put it in a buttered and floured cake pan and am baking it for at least 40 minutes in a 350 degree oven. I don't know off the top of my head how the poll will affect the cook time because I'm very tired, but I will be checking the internal temperature just in case. Now, all there is to do is wait!

#pkreb #library of ruina #self promo #twitch

The Moment of Truth

My entire apartment smells like vanilla. It's not unpleasant, but it is definitely apparent. After fifty minutes, I opened the oven and found what appeared to be a firm enough cake. After cooling it in the refrigerator, I removed it from the pan and laid it on a plate.

Physically? It doesn't seem that bad. There's a distinctly crispy-looking crust around the rim. While it's certainly denser than most cakes, it springs back when pressed and feels fully cooked. My kitchen thermometer read an internal temperature of just over 200 degrees Fahrenheit or 93 degrees Celsius. Many had predicted it would become an amorphous, soupy sludge due to having nearly twice as much liquid as necessary, but the batter was still thick enough to form a cohesive solid mass.

But how does it taste? Without further ado:

Find, rate and share the best memes and images. Discover the magic of the Internet at Imgur.

Tumblr won't let me insert the video directly, because of course it won't. I should also preface this by saying that this is the first and only instance of my face and voice on the internet, so if you misgender me I will force-feed you the rest of the cake.

With that out of the way: it's honestly not that bad??? Is it good? No. Of course it isn't. It's a cake with several dozen times' more vanilla extract than required. But is it inedible? I honestly can't say that it is. I should point out for those uninformed that vanilla extract is a tincture, meaning that the active ingredient is dissolved into alcohol. In this case, 35% alcohol, the low average alcohol content of gin and dark rum. Minors have actually gotten drunk by drinking vanilla extract. That overwhelming bitterness you associate with the ingredient? Part of that is the vanilla itself, but most of it is the alcohol that typically evaporates away in the oven. Because of that, the cake is bitter but not overpowering.

The texture alone is actually quite pleasant. Its texture is best compared to that of banana bread, with a rich, heavy moistness and a slight chew along the rim. Its thin shape and density makes it ideal to be eaten by hand. I personally enjoy bitterness to the point where I'd seriously consider this palatable if the sugar content was at least doubled. It wouldn't be better than a regular piece of cake, but it would be good.

To those that feel disappointed, I express my sincerest apologies. Even I was legitimately hoping for some sort of Cake From the Black Lagoon that would explode in the oven and taste like paint thinner. To remedy any disillusionment, I will end this culinary journey in hubris with a poll. Thank you.

Do you believe me?

Yes. You are God's bravest little soldier.

No. Your taste buds should be repossessed.

Vanilla extract

Voting ended onFeb 12, 2023

Streaming Library of Ruina for the first time. Jump on in

idk if ive ever said this but i. dont like huntlow

#I JUST I DONT SEE IT OK I DONT- I JUST DONT #ALSO ITS A SPITE THING AS WELL QJFKEK A LOT OF SHIPS I HATE ARE OUT OF SPITE WKFJWJJFEJ #<mango tags #pkreb #pktalk #also just #its going to be a ship that blows things out of proportion and overshadows other aspects of the show after a while #you could say the same about lumity but for a lot of people this may be the first time they get to be this exited over a animated wlw ship #because its between main characters and wasnt canonized at the last minute #so they should be allowed to enjoy that #also as much as i am a hunter enjoyer #this kind of rubs me the wrong way as a #as another 'white guy fixation' thing thats been showing up #i dont actually know how much of a problem it is in the fandom but ive seen that complaint show up enough that huntlow will just be another #thing perpetuating it #(sorry mango i got into it)#also willow is arospec she showed up to tell me herself/j #arospec Willow is /real tho #like mango it mostly comes down to spite #and also annoyance that people cant chill about it #pkdiscourse #out of professional respect tho #huntlow neg #if thats the right tag #also im writing this at 2 am and am terrible at explanation dont @ me if my reasoning sucks #in the timeline where the owls got a full season three and it got breathing room to develop i might be singing a different tune #but thats not our timeline so i am just another person whos not a fan of huntlow

Agreed mango shpango

#pkstream #twitch #lobotomy corp

phrog

Phrog

Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)