My Works on AO3
Series: Fear, Fate, and Fangs
Happy: Long-Fic WIP
Summary:
Part 1 of Fear, Fate, and Fangs in which Astarion and Tav's love story begins.
This work follows the events of Baldur's Gate 3 from Astarion's POV. It is an attempt to portray Astarion as a psychological being. I'm not analyzing him or losing myself in theories (though I am relying on psychological constructs, and my beta is a psychologist), this is rather a genuine attempt to understand him emotionally. This is why I try not to sugarcoat his actions, or idolize the 'she can fix him' trope (it might happen, though, because I, too, have my blind spots, so don't be mad at me, please).
Over the course of chapters, the language will change a bit. When Astarion opens up, so does his perspective. It's very centered and narrow at the beginning but will expand over time.
However, since this is as much a love story, there will be a lot of intimacy (sexual as well as non-sexual).There will be angst, there will be fluff, and there will be romance. There will be a lot of heartbreaking drama. But since this is a story about healing, I can assure you that eventually, everything will be fine.
Notes:
My goal is to stay true to his character as a vampire (D&D alignment: neutral evil at the beginning of his journey) while allowing him to heal and grow over time. I don’t yet know what that will ultimately mean for his alignment, but—well, no sense in rushing things. Let’s see where this leads.
At times, I'll take liberties as a writer and tweak the content a little—though never in ways that would alter the core of the story.
Also, this is a slow burn—don’t expect smut until chapter 12.
Note: spoilers ahead (if you haven't finished playing the game)
This work is still in progress. I plan to upload regularly (weekly, perhaps). *Update: Sorry, guys, weekly won't be possible any longer since I'm running too many WIP at the same time (should teach me a lesson). But updates will come, don't you worry.
Comments are welcome! They fuel the soul of every writer ❤️
AO3 here.
Fleeting Dreams: completed long fic
Summary:
Part two of Fear, Fate, and Fangs, which is an alternate reality and follows Astarion and Tav's love story as it becomes threatened by unpredictable evil forces. Ever longed for another life? A lover you were never meant to meet? For one woman in our world, these midnight fantasies become reality when her favorite video game character seeks her in her dreams. What begins as harmless, sensual escapes slowly transform into an adventure where the veil between worlds thins and reality and fantasy collide. And soon she learns that the darkness waiting on the other side... has teeth. Please mind the tags as well as the warnings in the notes section. Enjoy.
Warning: Spoilers from the game. Warning: This story explores the fine line between sanity and insanity in a deeply psychological way. If you are vulnerable regarding mental illnesses (especially when it comes to deciding what is real and what isn't), or if you have experienced (or currently experience) suicidal thoughts or the wish to simply not exist, please be cautious when reading this fic. It will play with these emotions.
AO3 here.
Snow Bite: finished Short-Fic
Summary:
Tav and Astarion stand before the dryad at the Circus of Last Days. Upon asking the last question, the fey maiden senses that Astarion's fear might define his upcoming choices. And that these choices might threaten the deep bond he and his sweet drow share. There is but one last question she must ask to define whether their bond is eternal or doomed eternally. An adventure awaits the two lovers, where they must find their way back to each other. Expect a world full of wonders, where beautiful princesses, boasting princes, and evil queens reside—only nothing is quite as it seems. If you are looking for a sweet story to fill your soul with warmth and joy, this might be the perfect treat for you.
AO3 here.
What are Words when I can Show You: finished One-Shot
Summary:
Tav feels unattractive, and Astarion shows her how much he adores her.
AO3 here.
Llar Darthiir: Long Fic WIP
Summary:
Almost 100 years ago: Tav is a highborn drow going by the name of Lymune, who has to flee the Underdark together with her mother. Imrae is a highborn orphan and is owned by Lady Laele, who uses her ward however she pleases. Astarion is a vampire, who roams the streets of Baldur's Gate with the only goal to collect fools for his greedy master.
Today: Among other survivors, Tav and Astarion are in search of a cure for their tadpole problem when they stumble upon a lone drow. As infected as they are, Imrae becomes part of the group. Two drow and a vampire, the three of them band together rather quickly, exploring Faerûn as well as each other in pursuit of answers.
Notes:
This is a collaborative work between spillingteanotpermitted and LottaVilja featuring Imrae and Tav (Lymune). The idea was born when we realized that under certain circumstances, Imrae and Tav likely met when they were children. Plentiful hours of yapping later, we decided to write a fic about it.
Enjoy!
AO3 here.
Series: Oh Brother of Mine: Imrae and Lymune's Adventures
Just for a little while: finished One-Shot
Summary:
What if Imrae's parents were alive? What if Lymune's mother Vhaidra Uoswiir seeks shelter at the Auvryervs palace?
This one-shot explores the what-ifs of a happier future for both Lymune and Imrae. Brother and sister who are meant to have found each other.
Notes:
Inspired by The Embrace of Love and Death - Short Rests by MissFortuneTheRogue
This is a gift from the wonderful spillingteanotpermitted in honor of our two drow Imrae and Lymune. I cannot express my gratitude over this cute little fic. And more so because I was permitted to post it here. Thank you so much, my friend!
AO3 here.
Silk and Blood: Medium-Fic WIP
Summary:
Drow Tav and her companions make their way down into the Underdark to reach Moonrise Towers. On their way, they stumble upon a strange couple. A drow and a drider. What could have easily ended in bloodshed turns out to be something pleasant when the two drow recognize each other from when they were kids. Determined to help his friend, Imrae and his partner Zhah join the group.
A drider and a vampire, however, seem not the best combination, and so Tav and Imrae have to find a way to ensure the two 'monsters' get along with each other. A delicate matter because Tav and Astarion's romance is hanging on by a thread.
Notes:
This is a collaborative work between Spillingteanotpermitted and LottaVilja featuring their favorite drow Imrae and Lymune.
AO3 here.
Series: Astarion's Reflection: One-Shots and Short-Fics Evolving Around Psychological Themes in the Astarion Universe
Swet Choice of Mine: finished Short-Fic
Summary:
“I never paint dreams or nightmares. I paint my own reality.” – Frida Kahlo
Astarion has been a criminal his entire life. Sick of committing only petty crimes for his boss, Cazador Szarr, he desires to become one of the big players. A name on a list is the ticket he has been waiting for, and he has one month to make sure his target bites the dust. An easy enough job because Astarion has an excellent killer instinct.
The Thorms are one of the wealthiest families in Baldur’s Gate. Since the miraculous recovery of their daughter, Isobel, a couple of years back, they have become loyal Shar worshippers, convinced that the goddess put her protective wings over the woman. Now someone put a death warrant on the older sister, Sylva.
But things rarely are as they seem, and what appears like an easy kill for the professional assassin turns out to be a greater challenge. More so when the line between hunter and prey increasingly blurs up to the point when both are left with one final choice.
Notes:
The story is a modern, no-magic AU, taking place in the city of Baldur’s Gate. A well-working transportation system, the metro, exists. Both the police (Fists) as well as the crime syndicate use bladed weapons. Heavy weapons and firearms don’t exist. The whole pantheon of gods and goddesses exists, but Faerûn is mostly a secularized state. Religious groups are called sects by the common people. Apart from these details, the world is mostly like ours. You will find names, places, and even things taken from the D&D universe, but they will be altered accordingly.
The disease mentioned in this fic is completely fictional. Any similarities to actual diseases are purely coincidental.
This story is born from suffering. It is shaped both by grief and a strong will to live. If I had to reduce the whole fic to three tags, they would be angst, comfort, and romance, though the first part of the story will be mostly angsty. I didn’t rate the fic, though if you expect porn, you should not linger. There will be sexual content, slightly explicit (one chapter), but the focus is not sex, it is intimacy and shared grief.
AO3 here.
Killing Spree: finished One-Shot
Summary:
Tav and Wyll shared a romantic evening together. The next day, the nosy vampire is eager to learn all the dirty details from his travel companion. What starts as a fine evening among friends, turns more and more into a night of intimate confessions up to the point where Tav has to make a choice. This one-shot is inspired by Astarion's reaction when Tav chooses him over any other companion in Act 2. It made me so emotional, and my mind got to work immediately, weaving a little sweet tale from it.
AO3 here.
Worthy: finished One-Shot
Summary:
Tav and Astarion spend their first night together. But instead of a night of passion, Tav prefers to talk—about worldviews, wishes and wants, and a future Astarion doubts he will ever lay claim to—and he realizes he might not even need to seduce her to gain her loyalty.
AO3 here.
Ravenous: finished One-Shot
Summary:
Astarion and Tav have a fight. They are on the verge of ending things, when something unexpected happens.
AO3 here.
'Til Fate us Part: finished One-Shot
Summary:
Months ago, Astarion ascended—just as he always dreamed. Power, freedom, dominion over the city: it’s all his. All but one thing. Tav is not by his side. Not yet. She’s still weighing her options. After endless months of longing, Astarion grows tired of waiting. And so, he turns to what he does have—devoted thralls, eager to play the part of the one he truly desires.
AO3 here.
Morning, Darling!: finished One-Shot
Summary:
Astarion and Tav spend a usual morning together. Warning: all kinds of liquid spilling, draining, soaking,... Otherwise, porn in its pure form. So, enjoy!
AO3 here.
The Beauty of Time: finished One-Shot
Summary: In this fic, I want to explore the long road of love and adoration, even when facing the wheels of time. It’s a story about change, the fear of changing, and the unwavering devotion of the person loving you—all of you.
Notes:
I believe dealing with the unavoidable aspect of getting old is very important, because no one can escape the wavering of time—no matter how hard we try. Writing about aging, especially when it comes to love and sex, is something very precious to me. Beauty comes in various forms, and I don’t want to close my eyes to the beauty of old age.
Don’t get me wrong—aging sucks. But there’s something so mundane, so inevitable about it, that it becomes a wonder in its own right. So, if you’re not into old women having sex with young men, don’t read further. Maybe it’s not time yet.
To all the others out there—enjoy. And to those who know from experience what I’m talking about: you are not alone in this. And always remember— You are beautiful.
AO3 here.
Butterflies: finished One-Shot
Summary:
I have always wondered what the Urge must feel like. This is what I came up with. A story about craving, beauty, and the slow unraveling of self. Beware the tags. Enjoy.
AO3 here.
Whispering Snakes: finished One-Shot
Summary:
A Dark Urge is confronted with fear—for the very first time.
Let’s delve deeper into that dark, paralyzing feeling. I dare you.
Enjoy.
AO3 here.
He Will be the Death of Me: finished One-Shot
Summary:
Tav gets entangled in Astarion's web of seduction. Content warning: it's a common manipulative tool of certain people (narcissist dickheads) to trigger this kind of reaction in others for the sake of control. I would definitely count Astarion among this spectrum at the beginning of Act 1. Enjoy.
AO3 here.
A collection of short fics
From Ashes We Rise: finished Short-Fic
Summary: When Tav and her companions rescue Halsin from the worg pens in the goblin camp, they’re forced to make a quick escape. Through a crack in the wall, they stumble into a tunnel that leads them even deeper into the Underdark. Soon, the group splits, leaving Tav and Astarion alone to find their way back to the surface.
A proud drow and an even prouder vampire, the two must work together to survive—swallowing their animosities and facing the dangers of the deep. But as the road grows darker, so do the lines between ally and something far more intimate. And in that darkness, they begin to realize: perhaps they’re not so different after all. The story starts in the worg pens but quickly takes a different turn from game canon. From that point on, it follows an alternate path, focusing on Tav and Astarion’s journey through the Underdark—alone.
AO3 here.
It Was You Kising Me: finished Short-Fic
Summary:
Tav and her team of young, motivated engineers are on a work-related camping trip. Scavenger hunts turn into something far more personal when she and Astarion find themselves circling the tension that's been simmering between them for months. They have history. It started with a kiss. And now, Tav has to decide: act on her feelings—or run from what scares her mos
AO3 here.
More Long fics:
Journey through the Jungle: Medium-Fic WIP
Summary:
With this fic, I try to come to terms with a very personal topic. Having been diagnosed with cancer changes a lot. Even years after successfully beating the bastard, the long-term effects are still visible (physical and mental). What better way of reprocessing the past is there than to write about it? Baldur's Gate 3 with its refined and complex characters serves as the best background for spinning a tale in which fantasy meets real life.
Consider with care whether you want to read this fic. It might trigger something (if you have your own fair share of experience with this topic), or it might just not be your cup of tea.
Should you decide to read this piece, let me tell you how happy I am to have you here with me.
Since this is a very emotional theme, I won't upload new chapters on a fix time schedule.
Comments are, as always, welcome (except for you, scam vultures, get the hell out of here!)
One more thing: each experience is different. That which worked for me might not work for you. I don't intend to lecture anyone on how to cope with their problems.
AO3 here.
There are no Showers in Faerûn: Long-Fic WIP
Summary:
Tav—ferocious leader, potential savior of or possible doom-bringer to Baldur’s Gate—gets replaced by an earthling, who barely holds it together when she realizes she’s trapped inside a game. The story starts in Act 1 when all companions have already been recruited, and the party has established a well-working command structure. But with Tav acting so weird, chaos erupts among the companions, turning the journey into a sequence of strange encounters and creative ways of problem-solving.
Or a different form of coming-of-age story as in how a simple teacher learns to become a leader.
Comments are very much appreciated :-)
Notes:
The idea to this fic came to me in a moment of respite. It's fascinating what a couple of hours in a Spa can do to your brain. Anyway, the rough plot is established, details will be added on a more or less regular basis (I have yet a couple of WIPs waiting, but this one was so annoyingly demanding, I had to add it to the collection).
Enjoy!
AO3 here.
