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making this very clear right now, i am profic. i think it is stupid to equate engaging with fictional content to actual real life harm happening to people. i personally do not write/read incest, noncon or anything along those lines because it is something i'm not interested in as someone who has been through it before, but i do not feel any negative emotions towards it in media. it's fictional, and unless the person is being abused or manipulated into writing these things idgaf
i say slurs i can reclaim, my jokes may come off as unknowingly insensitive or rude, i will and do write about sensitive topics such as self harm, addiction, toxic relationships, unhealthy dynamics, you get it. when requesting something, please do not worry whether or not it is "too heavy," i will write it if the prompt interests me even if i don't fw it in real life.
in which ticci toby realizes that he is, in fact, obsessed with you. just like that fucker jeff had been harassing him about. fortunately, he can't bring himself to mind when you're so sweet with him.
wc : 1.1k
cw : brief mention of toby & readers self harm, past abuse, toothrotting fluff with some angst, cuddling, movie night, clingy reader (& toby actually), gn!reader, i just wanted jeff here i cant even lie
he didn't take jeff's shit-talking to heart, thats just how the other man was. until he started to actually notice that what jeff was saying wasn't even unreasonable.
"dude, you look at them like they came from fuckin' heaven itself. you do their laundry, you never leave their side, you're so sappy now." jeff gaped in disbelief, face twisted in disgust. toby sighed (having heard this way too many times from him already), turning away and crossing his arms over his chest.
"i don-don't see why t-that would be your-"
"i do-do-do-do-" jeff mocked, interrupted with his own yelp as toby aimed his hatchet at the man. he did not find it funny. in fact, he never found it funny when jeff mocked him whenever he spoke around him.
~~~~
however, when he came to your apartment after his mission, he couldn't help finding himself staring at you with those head-over-heels eyes while you spoke much more often. in fact, you had noticed it too. his eyes would widen just the tiniest bit before he redirected his gaze. obviously it didn't last long since he turned to you again after 3 seconds of staring at the wall. you thought it was cute in a way.
"are you doing alright, love?" you finally spoke up at the end of the night. currently, you were laying on the couch, toby behind you with his scarred arms wrapped around your waist and one leg in between yours. he had buried his face into the crook of your neck, and you could feel how desperately he took in your scent.
"i'm fi-fine, mmy angel. wwhy?" he squinted slightly. you turned from the shabby movie on the TV neither of you were actually watching to meet his wide, curious eyes. you chuckled quietly, squirming out of his grip momentarily with a little bit of protest on his end to fully face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. you leaned in and gave him a kiss, watching as he stiffened up before he immediately relaxed, holding you by the waist tighter and pressing you against him to try and get even closer.
you loved when you could have moments like these with him. early on in your relationship, you weren't as affectionate. you were scared. you hadn't had the best fair share of relationships, and when you met toby and realized you liked him it did scare you. he literally killed people, you had no idea how he'd act in a relationship, if those violent tendencies carried over.
fortunately (and expectantly) they didn't. he was avoidant with you at first, scared that you would flee the second he did something that might scare you. but, once he saw the scars that littered your arms, and the way you were always scratching at yourself, he realized that you were much tougher than you let on. because of that, he was able to slowly relax around you and become much more affectionate. he could relate to you a lot more now — maybe he'd even be able to help. he just needs you to be okay.
he had traced your scars with his finger, going over every single scar and making you promise to not to that to yourself again. in return, he would stop too. clean for clean. it was definitely a hard adjustment, but as long as you were okay and not hurting yourself behind his back, he would do it a thousand times over. he'd do anything for you.
and trust me, he's proven it by now.
he finally pulled away from your lips, small pants coming from him. your face was flushed, chest heaving as you shimmied closer to him, eyes fluttering closed. you always felt so safe in his presence. even when you two were out with his freaky little friends, you knew you could trust him to keep you safe and keep their hands off of you.
"yo-you didn't ans-answer my qquestion, angel.." he mumbled in your ear, slowly bringing you out of your sleepy daze. you turned to look up at him, smiling and kissing his scar. you had to resist the urge to let out a giggle as his face flushed red, fingers twitching against your waist.
"no reason, love. just checking on you. i can't do that anymore?" you teased, laughing and pulling him in tighter when he huffed and tried to roll over. "you know i love you." it was just a statement. he did know, and there was nothing else to add on. just the truth. he let out a shaky exhale, an uncontrollable smile plastering across his face. he loved it when you reassured him like that.
"i kn-know.. surely yo-you know the ssame.." he belatedly responded, massaging your scalp with a shaky hand while the other rested on your hip. he could tell that you were getting tired, and he wanted you to fall asleep comfortably. shifting so one hand was under your thighs and the other supporting your back, he slowly sat up and brought you up in his lap with him. he stood up before tossing the blanket you two were using over his shoulder, walking upstairs afterwards.
he was always so caring to you. he always prioritized you, always put you before anything. sometimes he would put you before himself, which did worry you when it happened. you'd be damned not to reciprocate it by x10, however.
he gently placed you down on the bed, grabbing the blanket off his shoulder to toss it up and over the entirety of the mattress. you could clearly tell that he was rushing to get to lay with you faster, but you didn't mind. like everything he did, you thought it was endearing. you held out your arms for him, smiling when his face lit up instantly.
as soon as you two made contact he melted into your arms, arms completely wrapped around your waist and head on your chest. you felt bad that he couldn't feel it as much as you could, which is why you were always maintaining some sort of contact with him. in private, in public, with his friends, you always had yourself touching some part of him. whether it was his back, bicep, hand, face, you had to be. you would have to be physically ripped away to let go of him, honestly..
as you slowly drifted off into a deep, calming sleep, toby watched you so closely it looked like you were worth a billion dollars. he fell asleep a few hours after you, he deserved to rest peacefully for just one night.
~~~
"i'm fuckin' telling you, it's insane." jeff ranted to jack about how 'uncool' toby has gotten ever since he got with you. "on every damn mission, this guy stops to go and text them. he's obsessed with them." he complained, per usual.
jack listened silently, head turning towards toby to see his reaction. to his surprise, toby was just sitting there, staring out of the window. jeff paused, before he burst out laughing.
"what now? are you reminiscing on them?" he could barely get the damn words out as he turned into mr. giggleshits. toby just shrugged, still not averting his gaze from the window.
if this is what being obsessed felt like — being loved, and appreciated for who he actually was — he better get infatuated real quick.
