Come On, Sweet Catastrophe

I didn't come out of the closet, I tripped over my Birks and flannels and fell out flat on my face. NH | PA

[ykana]

[thegravelbro]

a mass exodus from chicken village

[assbaka]

what tragedy befell these gentle folk…

[spite-knot-deactivated20210817]

born to eat cheese forced to work

[junibuglove-deactivated20200513]

[scorpiety-bye-deactivated202310]

do you think we get to learn everything when we die or are the colors that exist between colors gonna be shrimp-only knowledge forever

[khe1]

fuck college…i am going to go be a trout………

[his-shining-tears]

[steampunksteampunk]

i love this rusty lil robot and his bucket of kittens

[aubrys]

@little-brisk

[justira]

@heyheyrenay

[maculategiraffe]

me, reaching into my dresser drawer for black pants: I hope this isn’t the pair with big holes worn in the inner thighs

Marie Kondo, gently over my shoulder: why is a pair of pants you find unwearable still in your dresser drawer

me: oh shit that’s right!! The dresser is for clothes that under some circumstance I might conceivably wear!!

Marie Kondo, beaming proudly: Yes, that’s correct!! These pants must have been your favorites. How wonderful that they were so comfortable and practical that you wore them out. But now since they no longer function as pants, you should move them from the drawer where you keep your functioning pants!

me: Yes thanks I got it they’re in the fabric basket now

Marie Kondo, fading back into the darkness: I love what you’ve done with the kitchen!!

[cwicseolfor]

The notion of KonMari as some creepy semi-embodied but entirely benevolent spirit, like a well-intentioned Bloody Mary, is so perfect and wonderful.

[essoreese]

Marie Kondo has the same powers but the exact opposite energy of the Duolingo Owl.

[strangelyregular]

YES.

Marie Kondo: Your room isn’t very clean, but that’s okay, I love mess! Does this spark joy?

Duolingo Owl: I wrote the ransom note in Spanish, and if you have to use Google Translate to read it, your kid gets it. You broke your streak. I’ll break your neck.

[ace-pervert]

Marie Kondo holding your child, while standing on the remains of the Duolingo Owl : The Bird did not spark joy

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

if you don’t obey the owl then Marie will have her translator present

[nevver]

His name is Kevin (I think), Vanessa Stockard

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

Why are we still here. Just to suffer? Every week I must do laundry

[fairweathermyth]

FLEABAG || The only person I’d run through the airport for is you.

[catsbeaversandducks]

Historic Cat Photos

Via The Atlantic

[basic-banshee]

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

[basic-banshee]

I like that people have two reactions to this post.

Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

Well, which one is it going to be?

[basic-banshee]

And so it begins

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

[basic-banshee]

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

[basic-banshee]

Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”

I now see my mistake

[basic-banshee]

Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.

[justluckyiguess]

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

[basic-banshee]

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

[basic-banshee]

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

[cooliopumpkin]

[basic-banshee]

This is the feedback I’ve been looking for

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[weaselle]

some graphic designer was on her good good shit that day

[neocores]

fellas is it gay to be gay

[anastrophilesworld]

according to historians? no.

[in-sumerian-haze]

whatever you think misanthropy is, none of it comes even close to the sheer hatred that the average gentrifier has for all signs of humanity, of life

[macaron-monster]

New creatable world dolls from Mattel 

DC-220 DC-619 DC-073 DC-725 DC-414 DC-826

Walmart has them listed for $39.97, but on Mattel Shop they’re $29.99

Creatable World inspires all kids to get creative with doll play – Deluxe Character Kits provide a blank canvas along with the pieces to create unique characters, over and over again! The 11-inch (29.94-cm) doll wears a tank and shorts, has a short haircut and comes with six items of clothing, three pairs of shoes, two additional accessories and a long-haired wig – all versatile pieces that give kids the freedom to make their characters whoever they want them to be. Dress the doll one way for one character, then switch it up for someone completely different! The clothing is straight off the playground, and authentic details keep it even more real. The wig is easy to take on and off – kids can switch long hair for short hair, then back again. Add a skirt, pants or use both. Accessorize…or don’t. Creatable World doll kits give all kids the ability to make and remake characters they love. With so many choices, the fun is never-ending! Collect other doll kits for even more options and creative possibilities (each sold separately, subject to availability). 

[rhosegold]

who was i before i cared so much about my eyebrows???