Love is Sacrifice

She/Her/Hers. 20. Cis.

[thecosmoswhispers]

And I whisper to myself, I am safer alone.

Wasted, Marya Hornbacher / . / . / . / painting by Mladen Ilic / Paul Auster / Letters To Milena, Franz Kafka / Wide Sargasso Sea, Jean Rhys / The Departure Of The Train, Clarice Lispector / Beau Taplin

[storytimewriting-deactivated202]

Mirrored Soul

What does it mean to have a sister?

To have a sister is to have a soul outside of your own body. It is to know there is another half of you somewhere in the universe; Not necessarily a carbon copy, Simply someone who understands you like no other- Someone who knows your story Without ever having to usher a word.

To have a sister means fighting over insignificant aspects of your lives. It means arguing over the remote And wearing each other’s clothes, But singing together in the car only minutes later.

To have a sister is to know there is someone fighting in your army. It is to start wars that you may not win, And have someone behind you regardless. It is to have someone catch you when you fall Or to pick you up and dust you off after you’ve hit the ground.

To have a sister means you’ll always have someone around. Someone who will see you at your worst and at your best, Someone who knows what you look like all dressed up And when you’ve just rolled out of bed. Someone who knows the deepest parts of you- Like they have a roadmap to your head.

To have a sister is to have a mirrored soul. The only person with a childhood exactly like your own, The one person with true shared experiences- The same trauma, the same love, the same genetic makeup. The one person who stood with you in the rain Until you both could feel the sun.

To have a sister is to have an enemy, To have an ally, a friend, a soulmate. It is to know love in the most complicated ways, But to always see it through. To have a sister is to know yourself, And have someone who knows you.

[thewhumpyprintingpress]

This is a friendly reminder to never, ever publish your book with a publishing company that charges you to publish with them. That is a vanity press, which makes money by preying on authors. They charge you for editing, formatting, cover art, and more. With most of these companies, you will never seen a cent of any royalties made from sale of your book. A legitimate publishing company only makes money when you make money, they will never charge you to publish with them. If a company approaches you and says "Hey, we'll publish your book, just pay us X amount of money," tell them to go fuck themself and block them.

[whumpy-words]

Remember, kids: money should only ever flow FROM your publisher TO you.

Here's a very well-maintained resource by the SFWA (Science-Fiction & Fantasy Writers Association) that lists contests/editors/small presses/etc. with predatory behaviours:

WRITER BEWARE® - SFWA

About Us Mission Who we are, what we do, and why. Includes information on how to contact us. Overview and Site Map What you’ll find on the W

Go forth and publish safely!

[daedricprincessorigin]

@selenite0 has a full presentation about shady publishing contracts, this might be something to add to that

[dduane]

This.

[millogram]

There is a part of me that believes that parenthood is burned into me, that there is something deep inside of me that was meant to hold and love a child. From the instant I lay eyes on a child to the moment they are taken away, I am filled with the unbroken, undeniable need to give that child all of the love that I didn't receive. While I am aware that I am far from a decent role model, I am more so aware of the fact that I would teach a child to wash their hands, to say 'thank you' to those who do them a good deed, to understand the world around them. There is something inside of me that longs for a child to hold beneath the armpits, to raise up into the air just as I raise them into a member of society. How I long to watch a child grow in front of my eyes, to learn from me, to copy my every move. How I long to hold and rock a baby while they cry on and on, unsure of why they are so uncomfortable, but knowing that they can find solace in their guardian. The intimacy of parent and child is something irreplaceable, and it is something that I so desperately want. My arms are bare, nothing more than a space for a baby to lie in. My lap is empty, desperate for a child to sit on for comfort. My heart has a hole inside, child-shaped and surrounded with hundreds of gorgeous, soft flowers. I am nowhere close to a mother, far closer to a father, yet my mind still carries the need to carry, feed, and adore a child, one that looks like me, copies me, needs me. Despite my masculinity, the femininity of motherhood calls out to me, and motherly love courses through my veins, all natural yet suppressed. Despite my desperation to be a strong father for a baby that doesn't exist, the need to be a gentle, loving mother for a beautiful baby fills my heart and swarms my body. My hope is that one day, I'll have the ability to teach a son how to tie his tie, but I'll also have the ability to teach a daughter how to style her hair. Most importantly, I wish to have the ability to teach both how to love unconditionally, just as I do.

[bookished]

HOW TO GIVE PERSONALITY TO A CHARACTER

Giving personality to a character is an essential part of character development in storytelling, whether you're writing a novel, screenplay, or creating a character for a role-playing game. Here are some steps and considerations to help you give personality to your character:

Understand Their Backstory:

Start by creating a detailed backstory for your character. Where were they born? What were their childhood experiences like? What significant events have shaped their life? Understanding their past can help you determine their motivations, fears, and desires.

2. Define Their Goals and Motivations:

Characters often become more interesting when they have clear goals and motivations. What does your character want? It could be something tangible like a job or a romantic relationship, or it could be an abstract desire like happiness or freedom.

3. Determine Their Strengths and Weaknesses:

No one is perfect, and characters should reflect this. Identify your character's strengths and weaknesses. This can include physical abilities, intellectual skills, and personality traits. Flaws can make characters relatable and three-dimensional.

4. Consider Their Personality Traits:

Think about your character's personality traits. Are they introverted or extroverted? Shy or outgoing? Kind or selfish? Create a list of traits that describe their character. You can use personality frameworks like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or the Big Five Personality Traits as a starting point.

5. Give Them Quirks and Habits:

Quirks and habits can make a character memorable. Do they have a specific way of speaking, a unique fashion style, or an unusual hobby? These details can help bring your character to life.

6. Explore Their Relationships:

Characters don't exist in isolation. Consider how your character interacts with others. What are their relationships like with family, friends, and enemies? These relationships can reveal a lot about their personality.

7. Show, Don't Tell:

Instead of explicitly telling the audience about your character's personality, show it through their actions, dialogue, and decisions. Let the reader or viewer infer their traits based on their behavior.

8. Create Internal Conflict:

Characters with internal conflicts are often more engaging. What inner struggles does your character face? These can be related to their goals, values, or past experiences.

9. Use Character Arcs:

Consider how your character will change or grow throughout the story. Character development is often about how a character evolves in response to the events and challenges they face.

10. Seek Inspiration:

Draw inspiration from real people, other fictional characters, or even historical figures. Study how people with similar traits and backgrounds behave to inform your character's actions and reactions.

11. Write Dialogue and Inner Monologues:

Writing dialogue and inner monologues from your character's perspective can help you get inside their head and understand their thought processes and emotions.

12. Consider the Setting:

The setting of your story can influence your character's personality. For example, a character who grows up in a war-torn environment may have a different personality than one raised in a peaceful, affluent society.

13. Revise and Refine:

Don't be afraid to revise and refine your character as you write and develop your story. Characters can evolve and change as the narrative unfolds.

Remember that well-developed characters are dynamic and multi-faceted. They should feel like real people with strengths, weaknesses, and complexities. As you write and develop your character, put yourself in their shoes and think about how they would react to various situations. This will help you create a compelling and believable personality for your character.

[creativepromptsforwriting]

Advice for writing relationships

Ship Dynamics

How to create quick chemistry

How to write a polyamorous relationship

How to write a wedding

How to write found family

How to write forbidden love

Introducing partner(s) to family

Honeymoon

Date gone wrong

Fluffy Kiss Scene

Love Language - Showing, not telling

Love Language - Showing you care

Affections without touching

Giving the reader butterflies with your characters

Reasons a couple would divorce on good terms

Reasons for breaking up while still loving each other

Relationship Problems

Relationship Changes

Milestones in a relationship

Platonic activities for friends

Settings for conversations

How to write a love-hate relationship

How to write enemies to lovers

How to write lovers to enemies to lovers

How to write academic rivals to lovers

How to write age difference

Reasons a couple would divorce on good terms

Reasons for having a crush on someone

Ways a wedding could go wrong

Arranged matrimony for royalty

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[someonetooksendnoodles]

Where to watch willow?

hi questies!

I’m not sure if anyone else has posted this, but I wanted to hop on and ask for people to share the ways they plan on watching remembering willow once it’s been pulled. if anyone is willing to share safe links please feel free to do so! I know they can’t be shared super widely at risk of being taken down, but if you feel comfy sharing please message me!

UPDATE

the absolutely lovely and incredible @ksfreckles created a google drive for us to access!! you have to request access but i got in quite quickly after requesting!

here is the link to her og post and be sure to check out her awesome fic too!!

Videos still processing (might take a little while - episodes 2 and 4 are up already!) and due to copyright I can’t make the file public, bu

[screnwriter-old-deactivated2021]

small details for fictional kisses

whispering ''kiss me'' to your lover

wrapping your arms around your lover's neck

kisses that travel from your lover's nose to their lips

breaking the kiss but instantly pressing your lips back together

intertwining your fingers

kisses that start out gentle but grows more passionate

forehead against forehead

running your fingers through your lover's hair

unbuttoning your lover's shirt, pressed against the wall

surprise kisses, in which your lover weren't prepared for it but responds immediately

a kiss in which, ''we're late for work but let's be later''

kisses shared under a waterfall

pulling your lover closer by the waistband

kissing under the stars

messy kisses, destroying furniture trying to reach the bed

a kiss that isn't meant to happen but it does anyway

sliding your hands down your lover's chest

grabbing your lover by the collar

''if we get caught kissing we're dead but let's risk it''

hand kisses

exploring each other's lips

smiling in-between kisses

now-or-never kisses

caressing your lover's cheek

good night kisses

''i was supposed to take a shower alone but sure, jump right in''

brushing your lips together, lingering for a moment

an accidental kiss between two exes

kisses in which, you've already said goodbye but can't help stealing another one

this might be our last kiss ever so let's make it last

kitchen counter make-outs

jumping into your lover's arms

soft kisses while cuddling in bed

i missed you kisses

a kiss that leave you breathless

stopping a kiss when it gets too heated

a kiss on the cheek turns into a kiss on the lips

trailing kisses from your lover's lips to their neck

''everything is going to be okay'' kisses

kisses that start of passionate but grows more delicate

pulling away from a kiss to look at each other, then smiling as you dive in for another kiss

wrapping your legs around your lover's body as they lift you

a goodbye kiss, but neither of you can quite let go

''we shouldn't do this'' but they do so, anyway

a swirling reunion kiss

''i've had a terrible day at work so just kiss me''

a kiss that lasts longer than it should

tending to your lover's wound, placing a kiss on top of their head, grateful they're still alive

spinning your lover into a kiss on the dance floor

kisses in which, i can't believe this is real, but i love you so much

[lamardeuse]

Okay, I need to jump start my writing so hit me with a prompt in my asks if you like!

[tiptoe39]

ooh this list is good too

[writingquestionsanswered]

Do you have any tips on identifying plot holes during revisions?

10 Tips for Identifying Plot Holes

1) Create a "Big Picture" Overview of Your Story

Whether you use a scene list, chapter by chapter summary, timeline, flow chart of events, or some combination of the above, having a "big picture" overview of your story allows you to see all the smaller parts and how they fit together. Not only can it help you spot problems as you're creating it, it also gives you something to follow as you're revising to help make sure everything makes sense.

2) Create a List of Plot Points and Subplot Points

Make a list of your story's plot points and subplot points. Once again, not only can the creation of this list help you spot potential problems, it will also be a crucial tool during the revision process as well as helpful for the next exercise.

3) Follow the Chain of Cause and Effect

Good continuity in your story means having a tight relationship between cause and effect. For each plot point and subplot point, you should be able to ask "why did this happen" and answer "because this other thing happened." You should also be able to look at each plot point or subplot point and say, "Because this happened, this next thing happens."

4) Look at Character Choices

Since stories are ultimately about people who want something trying to get that thing, plot points and subplot point are often the result of character choices and actions. So, for every choice a character makes or action they take, ask why? Did that choice make sense for that character's personality, situation, and back story? Did it make sense for that particular moment?

5) Make Sure Subplots Are Tied Up

Make a list of your subplots and make sure they're all tied up by the end. Pay attention to how and when they branched back into the story and what they accomplished.

6) Create Character/Setting Continuity Tables

Create a table of important characteristics like hair color, eye color, current age, birthday, etc. and when you're reading through your story, any time a detail like that comes up, check it in the table to make sure you've got it right. You can do the same thing for setting details.

7) Create a Technical Detail Checklist

For every technical detail you include in your story, whether that's the moon being out and in a certain phase in a particular scene, the amount of time it takes to travel a particular distance, how a particular weapon works, the ingredients of a particular spell or potion, the types of berries your character forages, an historical garment or costume... put it in a checklist. Then, when you're revising and you get to that item, double-check the details you've included in the actual story against your research (or look them up again), and check them off when you're sure they're accurate.

8) Create a "Things That Need Reviewing" Checklist

You can do the same while you're writing/editing for general things you want to double-check, like maybe you recall your character mentioning something about their childhood home in a chapter, and now they're saying something else about it and you want to go back later and make sure the two things are coherent.

9) Review Your Manuscript with Fresh Eyes

When you've been with your WIP for weeks or months or years, it becomes tough to see mistakes that would be obvious to anyone else. If you can, try stepping away from your manuscript for a few days or weeks so that you can come back to it with fresh eyes. Another trick you can use (especially if you can't step away for long or at all) is to change the font style and/or color in your manuscript. This can trick your brain into feeling like it's seeing everything for the first time. Reading it out loud or trying to to visualize it like a movie can also help.

10) Get Feedback from Other People

If you plan on posting or publishing your story anyway, it's crucial to get critical eyes on your story during your revision process. Critique groups, writing groups, critique partners, beta readers, and editors are all great ways to get feedback on your story before publication. These folks can help you spot problems, like plot holes and continuity errors, before you share, query, or publish your story.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[greelin]

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

[meilintheempressofdreams]

Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

[hoodnearthy]

yes.

[thenatashamaximoff]

after watching black widow,,,, i need some yelena content omg

could i pretty please request some hurt/comfort yelena x f!reader where r is under dreykov’s control and yelena saves her/ r helps yelena take down the red room?

POSSIBLE ‘BLACK WIDOW’ SPOILERS. 

This is my first Yelena fic so just take it easy on me, alright? jk be brutal af, idc. Also, doesn’t really fully go with the request, but... it’s something, right? 😄

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━⧖━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Cursed Past

✎ | Yelena Belova x Reader | 1,542 words | angst | death, brainwashed

She knew her way around like it was the back of her hand, turning down halls and passing doors that held no interest to her. Despite her calm façade she was showcasing, her heart was beating rapidly in her chest as she struggled to keep her breathing even. She knew she needed to maintain her composure, marching down the corridors of the dreaded place that’ll forever haunt her dreams. And with the bundle of vials gripped tightly in her hand, Red Dust, as it has been referred to, she had to take extra precaution in who she comes across.

The room she had been searching for came into view, pushing open the door and feeling her heart drop when the room was empty. Not a single other Black Widow in sight. And, as her mind worked to form a plan, she didn’t hesitate to cross the room, making a beeline right for the display of weapons, but her muscles froze when she heard the door creak open behind her.

She slowly turned around, her rapid heart stilling in her chest when she made eye contact with you. A smile crossed her features, relieved to see that you didn’t succumb to the hands of Dreykov’s harsh punishment. After the encounter in Budapest, she thought for sure he would’ve pulled the trigger on you.

“Y/N.” She stepped towards you, slipping a singular vial out of the bundle in her hands before gently placing the rest safely onto the ground at her feet. She knew you weren’t thinking properly, having the essence of Dreykov’s control clear on your face as your jaw clenched tightly. She knew you didn’t hate her as much as your eyes show you do, all the moments the two of you spent together before the brain-altering procedures was unforgettable. Yet, that’s what you were doing, being forced to forget the most intimate moments between you and her.

Now you just want to kill her and destroy the vials, orders from Dreykov himself.

You took a step forward, mirroring her movements as she subtly inched towards you and away from the rest of the vials. She knew nothing she was going to say would pull you out of this mind control, she knew she had to expose you to the Red Dust. She just didn’t want to hurt you in the process.

“Yelena.” She couldn’t help the twist of her heart when her name rolled off of your tongue, breathing out a deep sigh as your hands clenched into fists by your sides. “Hand them over.”

“Oh, sure,” Yelena agreed, nodding her head as she gestured towards the roll of vials at her feet, “come get them.”

When you were close enough, she raised her hand in preparation to break open the vial in her fist, but you were quick to block her from doing that, grabbing onto her wrist tightly and twisting the vial out of her hand. It fell with a thud against the padded floor, Yelena kicking your feet out from underneath you to take you down.

She reached for the vial that fell, but you twirled your body and felt the moment your foot made contact with her jaw. She stumbled to the ground, her legs instantly wrapping around your head to prevent you from climbing onto her, her hands blocking yours from doing any harm to her.

She couldn’t help but smile through the fighting, your movements briefly stopping as you looked at her in confusion. Why was she smiling? “We’ve been in this position before,” she commented, chuckling lightly, “except it was a bit more enjoyable last time.” She caught you off guard, your confused eyes watching her brown ones shine brightly. And for a moment, a split second, she thought that she had somehow gotten through to you with that simple statement.

And then she watched your eyes narrow and she didn’t hesitate to twist her legs to flip you off of her. You both were quick to climb to your feet, wary as you watched her. The two of you circled the room, facing each other down as your steps were careful and precise, your mind racing to form a plan as you awaited her attack.

You couldn’t help but look quickly at the bundle of vials resting on the ground behind her, your number one priority was to destroy the vials at all costs, but when she saw your eyes flicker towards them, she launched herself forward. You were fast to dodge her incoming attacks, blocking a punch with one arm and sending your fist into her gut with the other. It was clear she was throwing her punches, knowing she’s capable of much more damage than what she’s doing when she does manage to get a hit in. And her reluctance to hurt you could be used as an advantage, catching a punch by her wrist and tugging her to you.

Her body became flush against yours and time fell into slow motion to her when her nose brushed against yours. Her heart climbed into her throat when you released her hand to place yours on her waist, pulling her closer towards you, and she was vaguely aware of you moving your leg behind her, but her mind became foggy the second your hand rested against her cheek.

She was on the ground in seconds, getting knocked back into the present a little too late as you sat on her chest, her arms pinned to her sides by your knees, but she managed to use her body to pick you up a little, managing to free one of her arms. She rolled over, your bodies twisting and spinning amongst each other through the room until you had ended up beneath her, her back against you and your legs wrapped around her waist.

You held her neck tightly around your arms, squeezing as hard as you can to cut off the oxygen flow to her lungs. She scratched at your hands, gasping for air, begging to be released from your clutch, but you only tightened your grip. Your eyes remained glued on the wall on the other side of the room as her struggling lessened, the lack of O2 weakening her muscles. Just a little bit more and she wouldn’t be moving...

You didn’t see it coming, the way her hands moved quickly. You breathed in the Red Dust as she broke the vial above her head, your arms immediately unwrapping from around her as she rolled away from you. A gasp escaped your throat as you climbed to your feet, your eyes scanning the room in confusion until you spotted the limp body a few feet in front of you.

Another gasp tore through you as you fell to your knees, rolling over Yelena’s body so she was on her back. “Yelena? Oh, no. What did I do?” You shook her shoulders, and you could feel your heart beginning to crack when she didn’t open her eyes. “Yelena, please.”

You leaned down, pressing your lips against hers as you started the steps to CPR, but when you felt her deepen the kiss, you quickly pulled away from her. Your eyebrows furrowed in anger as her laugh turned into a coughing fit.

“You’re such an ass,” you stated, pushing her away from you as you stood up. “I thought I actually killed you.”

She groaned as she got up, turning to face you. “You almost did.” She sent you a smile when you looked at her, to which you shook your head. She pursed her lips together as she stepped up to you, bringing your face gently in between her slightly shaky hands.

“If I did, I would never-”

“You can’t get rid of me, Y/N,” she promised. “Even if you told me that this wasn’t working, I would just tell you that it is.”

“As if,” you said under your breath. “I’m pretty sure that if I said that, you’d be on your hands and knees begging.”

You laughed when her hands left her face as she fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around your legs and bringing you against her tightly, wobbling to keep your balance. “Like this?”

“Yelena, get up,” you chuckled, swatting at her arm. “We have to stop Dreykov.”

When she got to her feet, she didn’t hesitate to connect your lips with hers on the way up. The kiss was brief before she pulled away, but you felt the urgency behind it, the desperation for her to have her lips on you once more. You knew she missed you dearly without having to say it and vice versa.

She watched as you scooped up the rest of the Red Dust, a small smile on her face as a moment of bliss washed over her. She knew the past was going to come at you, and it was going to come brutally hard with zero remorse, but she was going to be there every step of the way. And she was going to let you lean on her knowing you’re going to do the same. Because the past was a curse, but you were her blessing.

And her heart couldn’t be happier to have you back in her arms.

[theslaybymic]

[catchymemes]

[prof-grace-aspen]

This is the best description I’ve heard for this method, I always thought it was bullshit because I never heard a description that actually explained how to do this other than “tap your head 20 times”.

I have anxiety-induced hissing, which sounds/feels different from sound-induced tinnitus (which I have also experience). Sound-based tinnitus actually sounds like you’re “hearing” something in your ears, whilst the hissing I have feels like it’s “inside my head”, if that makes sense. But this technique still helps!!

[mieaouy]

Here’s a visual I found because I couldn’t understand the instructions well

[sushinfood]

My ringing just went away for the first time in years. What is this blissful quiet.

[roseverdict]

wait wait i gotta try this, i don’t think i’ve had Actual Silence since i was like 5

[roseverdict]

HOW THE FUCK

[euthoricspidey-deactivated20230]

Welcome to my prompt list! A list of 200+ prompts that I love, whether they be from fics I've read or other lists I've seen floating around. I hope you enjoy ♡

ANGST/EMOTIONAL DIALOGUE ✧･ﾟ: *

“Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m scared.”

“What happened to us?”

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“I can’t lose you.” “You already have.”

“Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you still love me.”

“You left without saying goodbye.”

“You were better off without me.”

“You promised you would be there and you weren’t. I needed you! And you weren’t there!”

“Wake up. Please. For me.”

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“Did you mean any of it? Or was it all just a lie?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry.” “For what?” “Everything.”

“I hate seeing you with them.”

“I’m leaving.” “Of course you are. That’s all you know how to do.”

“But it’s my fault, right?”

“I love you.” “No, you don’t.”

“Maybe they were right about you.”

“I can’t keep doing this.”

“It’s them, isn’t it?”

“I gave up everything for you!”

“I wish we never met.”

“Why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye?”

I wish we didn’t have to say goodbye.”

“If it means anything, I love you.”

“You’re in love with someone else.”

“You were the one that walked out on us. Not me!.”

“You don’t get to call me that.”

“Would you have said yes?”

“What happened to all the promises?”

“I’m not ready to lose you.”

“You just had to go and ruin everything!”

“I never asked for this.”

“How bad is it?” “It’s bad.”

“Who did this to you?” *silence* “Hey, look at me. Look at me. Who did this to you?”

“Does that hurt? Are you okay with me touching you?”

“No… No! Come on, I can’t lose you!”

“I know you’re hurt, Y/n.”

“You can’t seriously believe that I had anything to do with this?”

FLUFF/ROMANTIC DIALOGUE ✧･ﾟ: *

“You owe me a kiss.”

“Can I walk you home?”

“Keep it. It looks better on you anyway.”

“I’ve never felt this way before, and honestly it scares me. But, the idea of never trying scares me even more.”

“If I asked you to stay, would you?”

“Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

“I promised to love you forever and that’s a promise I intend to keep.”

“You make me want to do better. Be better.”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“I don’t care what they say, I want to be with you!”

“I wasn’t sure what love really felt like until I met you.”

“You promised you wouldn’t fall in love with me.” “I lied.”

“I just… I want you, all of you. And that might be selfish, but I don’t care.”

“Take my jacket. I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

“I will never stop fighting for you. I’m not giving up on us.”

“I can’t… I can’t get you out of my mind.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“I think I’m falling in love with you.” “I think I’m okay with that.”

“What are you doing here?” “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“It’s you. It had always been you.”

“Kiss me.”

“I love you.”

“Could you say that again?” “Why weren’t you listening?” “I was. I just like hearing your voice.”

“I’ll take care of you.”

“You’re the only reason I’m still here.”

“I’ve never cared so much about somebody before.”

“My heart has always been yours.”

“Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?”

“You make me nervous in the best way.”

“Just stay with me a moment longer.”

“Of course I forgive you. I’ll always forgive you.”

“Come here. I’ll carry you.”

“We should get married.” “Very funny” “I’m serious.”

“Did you really mean what you said?”

“Can you stay with me tonight?”

“I’m here… because I care.”

“Oh my god, you smell so good.”

“I love you, you idiot.”

“You’ve got to be the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.”

“I can’t believe how lucky I am.”

MISCELLANEOUS DIALOGUE ✧･ﾟ: *

“I’ve never told you that before.”

“At least I kept my promise.”

“I saw you looking at it last time we were there, so I got it for you.”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“You don’t actually have to like me, you just need to pretend you do.”

“You’re bleeding.”

“I don’t think I’m alone.”

“Stop complaining and just tell me where your medicine cabinet is.”

“I can’t believe I let you convince me into this.”

“We really need to stop meeting like this.”

“What happened to your hand?” “I hit it on something.” “On what?” “___’s face.”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“Are you drunk?”

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“You need to sleep.”

“I miss you.”

“I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“At least let me clean it.”

“It’s pouring rain. What are you doing here?”

“Come back to bed, please.”

“Is someone jealous?”

“Hey, look at me. Focus on me, alright?”

“They don’t need to know.”

“Do you trust me?”

“I didn’t know where else to go.”

“I’ll take the couch.”

“You know this means nothing, right?”

“We’re best friends, what’s so wrong with us making out every now and then?”

“You’re relentless. Do you act this way with everyone?”

“I told you the stars were going to be out tonight.”

“How many of my shirts have you stolen now?”

“Oh my, god! Get off of me!”

“Remember when we first met…”

“I’ll never forget you.”

“You should be more careful.”

“I saw you were almost out of __, so I went and got some more for you.”

“You’re overworking yourself… Please take a break.”

“I didn’t make you uncomfortable, did I?”

“We can look out for each other.”

“You don’t owe me anything. It’s totally fine.”

TOUCHING PROMPTS ✧･ﾟ: *

Smiling into a kiss

Wiping away tears

Brushing hands by accident

Hugging from behind

Kissing knuckles

Bumping into each other

Tickling

Linking arms

A lingering hug that lasts for far too long

Pinking swearing

Lifting someone out of excitement

Squishing their cheeks

Play wrestling

Tugging on the bottom of someone’s shirt

Peppering kisses all over their face

Caressing someone’s cheek

Confusing a hug for a kiss

Playing with the other’s hair

Sitting on the other’s lap

Wrapping an arm around the other’s shoulder or back

Rubbing a thumb over the other’s knuckles while holding hands

Falling into each other

Falling on top of the other

Snuggling into the other’s neck or chest

Touching foreheads

Shielding the other with their body

Spooning at night

Pushing a strand of hair behind their ear

Holding the other’s chin up

Bandaging up an injury

Falling asleep on the other’s shoulder

Washing the other one in the bath

Sitting close and touching knees

Holding onto the other for support

Putting a hand over the other’s mouth to shut them up

Tracing over the other’s scars/tattoos

Hiding their face in the other’s neck

Nudging the other

Dancing together

Rubbing the other’s frown away with their thumb

KISSING PROMPTS ✧･ﾟ: *

Littering small kisses across their face

Throwing their arms around the other’s neck, hugging them and then kissing them passionately

A kiss that lasts so long, they are sharing each other’s breaths

An accidental kiss given in front of others without thinking

Sneaking away to share a kiss

Having a pout be whisked away by a kiss

Kissing in a stairwell, creating an artificial height difference

Kissing the other on the back of the shoulder as they sit on their lap

Deep kisses with hands tangled in each others hair

A kiss that starts to heat up when a third party interrupts

Running a finger across their lip until they can’t resist any more, tilting their chin towards them for a kiss

Pulling away from a kiss to whisper words of love to each other

Being pulled together by an unseen force after staring at one another’s lips

Whispering “I love you” and the other sighs with relief before kissing one another delicately

Saying “kiss me” as a breathy demand before doing so

Kissing away the other's tears

Distracting the other from what they are doing with kisses

Gently kissing the top of their head

Jumping into the other's arms, knocking the wind out of them, paired with a desperate kiss

Bumping into objects and nearly tripping over things in a hasty attempt to get to the sofa, or bed, as they exchange broken kisses.

Stopping the other from rambling on with a kiss

A gentle kiss on knuckles after tending to wounds

Kissing each other goodnight

Smiling into the kiss

Kissing each other to seal a promise

Kissing the other on the jaw and neck while they’re trying to talk but they get flustered and lose focus

Deep kisses of relief

“I thought I’d never see you again” kisses

Waking the other up by peppering kisses all over their face

A kiss given with their last dying breath

Hushed conversation in-between kisses

Break-up kisses.

Nuzzling into their neck and kissing them out of comfort

Cupping their face and pressing the softest kiss possible to their forehead and staying like that for a few seconds

A kiss meant as an apology

Kissing the palm of their hand

Kissing their cheek

Kissing a scar

Kissing the parts of their body that they’re insecure about

Playfully licking their lips or cheek after kissing them

[wisewidow]

Cloudy With A Chance Of Assassination

PAIRING: Yelena Belova x Reader

SUMMARY: My new girlfriend takes meeting the relatives to a whole new level.

It's cloudy up ahead, but patches of sunlight leak through certain gaps like chinks in the sky's armour, and a warm silver lines the clouds as the sun sets behind them. There are no pink or orange hues in the sunset this cloudy evening, just tinted blue and cream with grey mountains in the distance and muted coloured trees at their bases. I have one hand on the wheel of the car Yelena and I just bought together, a sleek black Fiesta, and the other on my partner in crime's thigh. She has her window rolled down, the high speed we're going at blowing her golden hair everywhere. I drum my fingertips along the wheel as an upbeat song starts to play.

She's lost in the clouds, I can tell. I ask her if she's imagining pictures out of the white puffs, but either the roaring wind at one ear or the song at her other is blocking her from hearing my words.

I squeeze her thigh. She smacks my hand and glances sideways at me, mossy green eyes playful. I allow myself a single glance before looking back at the road. "I asked what you're seeing in the clouds."

She turns the radio dial down. "What?"

I snort. "Nevermind."

"You wanted attention?"

I flip her the bird, earning a boisterous laugh from her. "You were!"

I mimic her accent in a high-pitched voice. "You were totally like, give me attention! Because I'm Yelena Belova and I'm so special!"

"I don't sound like that," she objects. "You once said, and I quote, 'your voice is deep and sexy, like if a dressage horse could speak.'"

I frown. "I don't remember that. Was I drunk?"

"You were trying to outdrink me."

"Oh. Were you cheating? I don't black out that easily."

"No, I wasn't. And yes, you do."

I grumble and turn the radio up again. She hums along to the song, Snap Out Of It by the Arctic Monkeys. We drive until the sun goes down, or at least until I notice her energetic nature die down like a used battery. I search up the nearest motel on my phone and by the time I've pulled in, she's asleep.

I switch the engine off and relax into my seat. I allow myself a few seconds to admire the girl beside me.

I met her through a friend of mine, who lived in the apartment beside hers. I'd visit frequently, and she noticed and eventually grew tired of me oggling her everytime I passed her on the way out. So she coerced me into drinking too much red wine and then sent me over to her door, drunk and giggling.

I didn't know much about her past. She's from Russia, and she sometimes jokes that she's actually a trained assassin. She grew up in a foster home, got close with a girl named Natalia, who ended up living in the Big Apple as a high school teacher with a husband who renovates houses. She calls her every other week before bed, I think, when I spend the night and she thinks I'm asleep. I never hear what they're saying, but I enjoy falling into slumber listening to the soft hum of her voice through the plaster walls.

I admire her small, round, button nose, the even slope of her jawline, her long lashes that brush against her subtly tanned skin. We've only been dating for two months, but I'm positive I'm im love with her. We haven't exchanged those words yet, though. The car is actually our first and only big step.

I gently shake her shoulders to wake her up, and she grumbles sleepily as she shifts and peeks up at me. "Where are we?"

"Motel. Didn't feel like driving home. Come on, lazy bones, let's get you a pillow."

Once we're settled in a room, stripped of jeans and bras so we're just wearing shirts and underwear, I drift off with my head on her shoulder and my hand wrapped around her stomach.

When I wake up, the first thing I notice is the dried drool in the corner of my mouth. I don't think much of it other than the teasing I'd endure in the morning when Yelena finds out I drooled on her.

I pull her closer and then frown.

I am holding a pillow.

My girlfriend is not said pillow.

I rub my eyes and sit up. It's still dark outside, and the clock on my phone reads three in the morning. I scan the room for her figure, but I can't see her silhouette lingering in any of the shadowed corners. I frown and push the duvet off of my body, shivering slightly as I maneuver around the bed and into the bathroom.

No sign of her.

I'm starting to get worried.

Quickly, I grab my jeans — at least I think they're mine — and force my legs through them. I slip my phone in my pocket and head to the door.

It's locked, which doesn't make sense, because my current assumption that Yelena had gone out for a quick smoke would mean that she wouldn't have gone far enough to warrant locking the door.

I swallow down the bad feeling in my gut and step outside.

The upper wrap-a-round level of the motel showed no people in sight. I head to the stairs and down to the front desk, where a young man with purple streaks in his hair sits, droopy-eyed and scrolling mindlessly through his phone.

"Um, excuse me, sir?" I ask tentatively, rubbing the goosebumps off my arms. I hadn't brought my jacket.

His eyes flick up to meet mine. "Sir? You're friendlier than your girlfriend."

"I'm assuming you mean the blonde, very pretty, homicidal-looking woman I came in with?"

He sighs, turning his phone down. "Look, this is a motel. Things like this happen a lot. My advice is to run before the wife sees you."

I stare at him blankly.

He stares back.

"Uh, what?"

"A tall redheaded woman came by, stole your girl for a talk. They were squabbling about you. I assumed . . . oh. You didn't know. Well, who knows, could be a relative or something."

My heart hammers against my ribcage wildly. I have to keep reminding myself that Yelena loves me, that she wouldn't cheat on me, or cheat on anyone else with me, or . . . I feel myself becoming pale. Her scars, I'd never thought much of them, but with her mysterious past, and this mysterious paramour? She was running away from the woman who had now found her.

"Where did they go?" I demand, anger rushing through my veins.

He shakes his head, looking sympathetic. "I've seen this play out before, trust me when I say you don't want to confront—"

"Tell me where they went or I will make you swallow your own fist."

He recoils. "Christ, fine, they're in the parking lot. For the record, I hope you get a good slappin'!"

I speed walk out of the motel and around the back, adrenaline rushing. I stop when I spot two figures under a streetlight by my car, one taller and waving her arms around as she speaks and the other, unmistakably my Yelena, glaring up with her arms crossed.

I march over to them. Their heads snap in my direction almost immediately. The redheaded woman pulls out a gun and aims it at me.

I yelp and freeze, hands up in surrender. Yelena yells something in Russian and smacks the weapon out of her hands before rushing towards me. "(Y/N), what are you doing?"

"We're leaving," I say, completely freaked out. "Right now. You run, tell the guy in the office to call 911. I'll fight her off."

"What? No! (Y/N), this is my sister! She's just paranoid."

I gape at her. "I thought she was a science teacher!"

"I told you we should have met somewhere else," the redhead hisses.

Yelena spits back in Russian.

"No, no Russian! Explanation, now!" I turn to the woman. "You're Natalia?"

"Natasha."

"Okay, Natasha the science teacher who owns a gun, what are you doing here?"

Her lips tighten into a fine line. "I'm not a science teacher, I'm an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., and I wasn't expecting Yelena to have company when I came here to drag her back home."

Yelena starts spurting more angry Russian words that mean nothing to me as I try to process what's happening. The two sisters argue for a solid two minutes while I decide I must be dreaming.

The lies. The scars. The mystery. The jokes about being an assassin.

This is a living nightmare.

I turn and walk away.

Yelena calls out, "(Y/N)! Wait!"

I don't stop until I've reached our room, where I promptly grab my jacket and bra and shove them in my bag.

"(Y/N), don't leave," Yelena begs when she catches up, blocking the doorway with her body. "Let me explain, love, please."

"Get out of my way," I snap.

She doesn't flinch, doesn't turn around as she closes the door and backs up against it as if to provide another barrier between me and the world she's trying to hide.

"Yelena," I warn.

"Let me explain," she pleads.

I stare her down, but she doesn't seem to be budging any time soon. I drop my bag on the floor and sit on the bed with my arms crossed, glaring at her. "Fine. Enlighten me."

She slowly eases away from the door. "I didn't lie to you about everything. I'm one hundred percent Russian, and I consider Natalia to be my sister, and we did grow up together. But we were trained together, too. As assassins."

"Fuck," I mutter.

She kneels down in front of me. "I got away from that life, I swear. And I met you and everything after that was the realist thing I'd ever had. I really love video games, and I really love your pancakes, and I really, really love you."

My glare softens.

"Even if you can't cook," she says.

I give her a semi-playful, semi-annoyed shove.

"You said be honest, don't hit me!"

I stand up and pace the room nervously. This time, she sits down on the bed. I mutter under my breath, gnawing on my thumbnail, until, finally, I sit down beside her.

"Okay, deal breaker. Do you know Captain America?"

[certified-dumbass02]

Gold Rush (pt.2)

Pt.1:

A college AU. Yelena is a playgirl….but really she’s just a huge flirt who’s been too chicken to really do anything for the last year becaus

~*~

You hear your name shouted eagerly in that raspy voice you adore, and it’s everything you love to hear but can’t afford to hear.

She bounds over to you, blonde locks glinting under the neon lights of the bar. Her smile is wide, pretty and rounds out the edges of your whole world; the hold this woman doesn’t realize she has over you is exactly the reason you never wanted to love her, but somehow you still can’t bring yourself to regret it.

She slides up next to you, leaning on her arms on the table.

“Hey there, Y/N,” she winks, and you feel your stomach flutter in spite of yourself.

You tip an imaginary hat at her with faux politeness. “Comrade.”

She sticks her bottom lip out in a pout, and you errantly admire the full pinkness of it before you startle yourself back into reality. “-you been? Haven’t heard from you today.”

You blink, and Karly, no Kate’s drink comes into focus. It’s the first time you’ve thought about her since Yelena walked inside, and you’d feel bad but you know it’s not a choice; you’re helpless and there’s not much you can do to get over her when she’s right in front of you.

You grimace, and rub your neck sheepishly. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I’m uh, actually on a date right now. She’s in the bathroom.”

Yelena’s mouth drops open and her body tenses. “What do you mean you’re on a date right now? You didn’t tell me you were going on a date, how long have you been seeing this girl, who is she?”

Your startled by the rapidness of her demanding questions, but stammer out the answers. You’ve never seen this fierce seriousness in her, because she’s usually so nonchalant and easy going.

“Kate Gosser? What? Absolutely not, no, she sleeps with everyone!” Yelena splutters, face getting red. “You can’t date her!”

You raise your brows in disbelief, because even if you’re in love with her you can’t let her tell you what to do and get away with it. You’re not even committed to defending Kate, it’s more that you have an innate aversion to letting Yelena go unchallenged.

“Oh well that’s rich coming from you, Black Widow,” the nickname drips with sarcastic venom from your throat, every resentful and jealous thought you’ve had about the guests to Yelena’s bed behind it. “Have you slept with her, is that how you know?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’d never sleep with her. I have taste,” she shoots back immediately.

You open your mouth to retaliate but are interrupted by Kate approaching cautiously. You’re not sure if she heard your conversation with Yelena, but she can clearly see the tension radiating off the two of you.

“Hey Y/N,” Kate says tentatively, glancing at Yelena, whose jaw is locked in a scowl. “Is everything alright here?”

You start to respond but Yelena answers for you, cold and clipped. “Everything’s fine.”

You kick her lightly under the table but force a sickly sweet smile at Kate. “Yes, everything’s okay. Kate, this is my friend, Yelena. She just walked in a minute ago.”

Your date seems to accept your answer, and smiles at both you and your angry Russian, who merely quirks an elegant, unimpressed brow. “Cool, I feel less bad now because I think I’m going to have to head out. I really enjoyed tonight, but I have work really early in the morning so I better go.”

You nod at her. “Oh that’s too bad, but I totally understand.”

Kate grins. “Well I’ll see you later, call or text me anytime.”

She goes to hug you, but Yelena stands solidly in between you, unmoving. You kick her again and she finally budges, if only an inch. Kate squeezes in the space and kisses you on the cheek. You feel the molten green glare like smoldering coals from a fire.

Your date pulls away, and Yelena petulantly takes a long drag from your drink as she waves goodbye to her.

Kate walks out, oblivious, and you both turn fiery eyes at each other.

“What the hell is your problem, Yelena?”

She looks mockingly surprised. “My problem? I don’t have a problem. You have a problem choosing suitable women, is my only problem!”

You scoff at her. “Once again I believe you’re projecting your own behavior onto other people.”

“So you’re saying I have a problem picking bad dates.”

“Yes.”

“While you’re out dating Kate Gosser.”

“It was one date, I don’t know why you’re so pissed about it!”

It’s then she goes quiet. Her brows go up and she bites her lip as she toys with her fingers on the table. Something has changed, but you have no idea what; the fire in her goes out as she takes in a deep breath. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I did pick the worst person to fall in love with. You’re my problem, Y/N.”

Your eyes widen as she shakes her head, scoots back her chair and leaves the bar, alarm bells going off in your head as you sit paralyzed. It takes you a second to process what she said, what you think she said, but when you do you’re shooting out of you own chair and chasing after her.

It takes you a few minutes to catch up with her, but finally you see her ahead of you, walking swiftly but stiffly, like if she stops moving she’ll break down.

“Yelena!” You shout, and when she turns to look at you, you know you have no choice but to tell her you love her, just like you have no choice but to love her to begin with. “It is the natural condition of mankind to want you!”

She furrows her brow in confusion as you slide up to her, panting and yelling.

“Everyone, absolutely everyone wants you. I hate that. It’s like a requirement to live in this town. ‘Do you like Yelena Belova? Yes? Welcome in!’ I hate that. You’re like the human version of a gold rush and I hate that too!”

She looks at you in absolute bewilderment. “I’m not sure if those were compliments or insults-“

“The one thing that I can’t hate is you-“

“-thank you?”

“I can’t hate you even though I very much want to sometimes because what I really hate is being a cliche. I don’t like to do what everyone else does and here I am doing it anyway because you’re you and how could I not?”

“I still don’t understand what you’re saying,” she pleads, and it comes rushing out of you because you’d do anything to make that hurt look in her eyes go away. “You’re my problem! I’m in love with you!”

It’s like she’s been hit with a truck. “Wh-what?”

“I love you! Te amo! Je t’aime! However the hell you say it in Russian, that’s what I do to you!”

She blurts something out breathlessly, and your eyes widen as you register what it is.

“Wait, that’s-“

She says it again, nodding, and you suddenly feel like you’ve been hit over the head with a brick or a grand piano.

“That night, you were telling me that night that you love me?”

Yelena steps closer to you slowly, as if you might disappear if she goes too fast. She’s gazing at you in awe, like she’s struck, and you know a similar expression must be mirrored on your own face. “I was,” she smiles so gently at you. “It was the night the Black Widow retired.”

“So you haven’t been with anyone since then?”

The blonde shakes her head simply.

“But that was months ago. You’ve loved me that long?” You ask in disbelief, reaching out with your hand to grab hers. It fits warm and snug against your own.

“Much longer,” she admits sheepishly, rubbing her thumb over your knuckles. “And you? How long have you loved me?”

You grin and squeeze her hand. “When you compared yourself to an onion, like Shrek. That’s when I realized I was in love with an idiot.”

She looks at you in absolute wonder; it’s like the whole of the galaxy is in her eyes as you move even closer together.

Your hands move up to cup her face and her pretty blonde eyelashes flutter shut as you lean in to finally kiss her.

It feels like coming home.

She sighs in content as you part, nuzzling her nose against yours when you lay your foreheads together.

“You’re not going to call Kate Gosser back, are you?”

You kiss her again, grinning against her lips.

“Absolutely not. I’ve struck gold.”

[marvels-writings]

Choices

Yelena Belova Masterlist

Requested by Anon: How about Yelena and R getting in an argument and Nat comforts reader and they cuddle platonically but Yelena comes in the room and sees them in bed together and is fuming and lots of angst and maybe Yelena says something like “I’ve been second best to Nat my entire life” like how Amy March said that to Laurie

Word Count: 2.5k (longish and angsty)

A/N: I love love LOVED writing this, I love this scene from little women and I adored including it in this fic, i genuinely think you’re going to love it

"Hey baby," You greeted, smiling when you saw your girlfriend standing on the balcony of your room. Yelena hummed in response, her shoulder leaning against the door frame. She didn't turn around to face you, her gaze fixed on the cars outside.

Frowning at her lack of response, you walked over to where she was standing. The cold breeze danced along with the curtains, flowing near your bare feet. Goosebumps formed along your skin, you tried to put your feet in the sun to warm them up.

Yelena remained silent, watching you fidget beside her. Her eyes shifted to where your hand was fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. Her gaze trailed up to the bandaged gash on your arm, staring at the spots of blood seeping through. She blinked in surprise when you spoke, interrupting the silence.

"Is something wrong?" You asked timidly, trying to play off your injury.

You turned slightly so she couldn't see your arm. Her eyes met yours, raising an eyebrow at the question. You sighed, running your hand lightly over the bandage on your arm.

"Lena, it's fine." You assured her, trying to smile up at her. You hoped it might be enough to crack even the smallest of smiles out of her. But she remained cold, staring at your injury. You held your arm behind her back, moving a step closer to her.

"It's fine." You tried again, reaching your healthy hand forwards to take hers. Yelena flinched away as if you'd burned her, taking in a harsh breath before moving away from you. She huffed as she sat down on the bed, turning to look down at her hands. You slowly moved to sit beside her, opening your mouth to speak before you heard her voice.

"It's not fine." She muttered angrily, quiet enough that you had to strain to hear her. Sitting down next to her, you moved your left arm away so she couldn't see it. You tried to take her hand again, sighing as she moved away from you as quickly as before.

"It was just an accident." You tried, hoping she would see the situation the way you saw it. But she didn't, frowning and turning her head to glare at you. You winced under her gaze, biting your lip tightly before looking away.

It truly was an accident. You were training with knives, Natasha was teaching you close combat. You didn't know how it happened, one moment you were training with her, the next she was clutching a towel tightly to your forearm and calling medical over to you.

Yelena hadn't been there, busy on a mission while you were bleeding. She only saw you now, having heard about the incident from Natasha the second she arrived. She didn't go to see you, rather returning to the room you shared with her, staring out the balcony.

"There shouldn't be accidents where you get hurt," Yelena whispered angrily, her voice lower than you were used to hearing it. She hurried off the bed, pacing in front of the bed, her hands hastily pulling out the ponytail in her hair before retying it.

"Lena," You tried again, hoping the nickname you called her by might soften her. "Accidents happen, it's alright."

Her glare towards you hardened, her hands running through the tangled hair in her ponytail. Your comment made it worse, you winced as she stopped pacing. A lecture on your safety began, all over again. Another lecture on how you were careless with your safety, reckless for no cause, getting hurt for no reason.

You thought there might eventually be a time when you'd get enough of these lectures. But after every single incident, every mission has gone slightly south. Worry was fine, even overprotectiveness, but this? This was exhausting.

"I don't need my flaws to be pointed out all the time." You hissed, interrupting her heated rant about your flaws. She flinched at your tone, frowning and stepping back from you. Her arms crossed over her chest defensively, tilting her head in anger.

"If there weren't so many," Yelena said, raising her eyebrow. Words spilled from her before she had a chance to stop them. Regrets always came before she could stop them.

"I wouldn't have to."

You drew back, your harsh facade falling at her words. Turning away from her, your arms wrapped tightly around your midsection, hiding the flaws you were so sure she hated. You recoiled into yourself, clenching your jaw as if her words had physically hurt you.

Getting up, you quickly tried to leave the room, missing the way she had regretted her words and tried to follow you out. In your haste to leave, you didn't notice the tears in her eyes were identical to yours. The door slammed shut behind you as you hurried away from her.

Your feet padded across the ground, nearing the door to Natasha's room. Unsure where else to go, you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt as you thought it over. There wasn't anywhere else in the compound you wanted to go. anywhere else you would face pity and questions, this was the only place devoid of either.

Raising your hand to knock, you moved back in surprise when the door opened. Your eyes widened when Natasha stood there, concerned and a little worried at your state. Without needing an explanation, she opened the door wider for you to come in.

Grateful for the silence, you stepped inside, fidgeting nervously in the center of her room. The redhead closed the door behind her with a soft click, waiting for you to explain. She sat down on the bed, leaning back against the headboard, patting the space next to her.

"What happened?"

It was all it took for explanations and apologies to fall from you. You sat down beside her only to be clutching onto her while you held your tears back. Words and hopes continued to spill even while she tried to comfort you. Her touch and her words helped you calm down enough to see the situation.

You weren't at fault, not entirely, Yelena should have backed off when she saw you were upset. This wasn't an issue big enough to fight over, let alone leave her over. You wanted to make up with her, but her words still rang in your mind when you tried to leave Nat's room.

Instead, you stayed the night, seeking comfort in your friend rather than Yelena. Her hands ran through your hair as you slept, providing you with the comfort you needed to soothe you from your nightmares. All the while you found some peace, Yelena remained alone.

The bed was far too empty without you for her to even consider resting in it. She wouldn't let herself outside the room, scared she might see you again. Scared you might say something which would hurt her far more than she hurt you.

It was never her intention to hurt you, let alone make you upset enough to leave. She could hardly help it when you were hurt, let alone when she wasn't there with you. a part of her was always scared that her abrupt absences would eventually force you away from her.

Her absence was solely to clear her past, it was never more important than you. It was that she found it hard to rest when there was still something to be done to relieve her of the chains of her past. She couldn't find it in herself to live in this delightful dream of love you created when she still saw herself as a monster.

Apologies still needed to be made. Not now, not when she could barely look herself in the mirror, not when you didn't even wish to be in her presence. For the morning she would wait, till she could share her fears without the worry of your absence.

As the morning light leaked into her room, she met it with a sense of dread. Yelena dragged her feet over to your room, fidgeting with her shirt as she stood in front of Natasha's closed door. She knew it was where you would go, where you would seek comfort when she wasn't there.

It hurt sometimes, to see you so comfortable with her, to see you care for her so much. But she always passed it off as a close friendship, knowing she would always be the one you seek. She licked her lips, knocking lightly on the door, waiting for you to answer.

Moments of silence passed, bringing her into more nervousness. She listened for any sign you were there, the rustling of bed sheets, the sound of your footsteps. Silence, even as she knocked a second time. A part of her was scared she had hurt you too badly.

Nothing could hurt her more than seeing you seek solace in Natasha's touch, seeing you wrapped in her arms, breathing on her neck. You wanted to be there, leaving Yelena to be with her. It hurt more than the words she said to you

You stirred at the disturbance, groggily pulling away from the arms holding you. A frown covered your face when you noticed it wasn't Yelena holding you. Moving away from Natasha, you rubbed your eyes while you looked around the room. Your gaze landed on your girlfriend, a smile almost forming before you saw her heartbroken expression.

"You went to her?" She asked, her voice just above a whisper. Her words, yet simple, were laced with insecurity which was rooted long before she met you. An insecurity that she would always be the second choice, that everyone would choose her sister over herself.

"Lena," You began, throwing the covers off the bed, moving towards her. She raised a hand, stopping your motions as a troubled expression passed her face. Shaking her head, she moved nearer to the door, away from you. You frowned, walking towards her, whispering her nickname as a soft prayer.

"Don't call me that," Yelena said angrily, her eyes snapping up to yours. They softened for a moment, seeing the hurt in your expression. She came to apologize to you, ready to beg for you to stay with her. Seeing you with Natasha, pushed all of her good intentions to the back of her mind.

You licked your lips, glancing from Natasha to your girlfriend, you hoped you could still call her that. You knew she came here to apologize, you could see it in the way she shifted her feet, not wanting to leave before finishing what she came here to do. You reached a hand towards her, hoping she would take it. She pulled away from you as if you'd burned her.

"Stop doing this to me." She muttered, shifting away from you. You frowned your hand coming up to brush her cheek. Her head leaned away from you, her hand coming up to yours, holding it at a distance from her skin. You tilted your head curiously at her words, guilt still gleaming in your eyes.

"Doing what?"

"This," Yelena gestured to your hand reaching out to her, pulling away from you. "Pretending you love me when you want her."

She thought your love was fake, where you never pretended, you never lied to her, not once, not even when you were sure the truth would hurt her. She had been fed enough lies to last lifetimes, you didn't add to that. Now she thought you were pretending to love her when everything was true.

She doubted it, your bright grins, your assurances of your love, your words, your actions, everything. The breakfast in beds, the nights you'd spent awake while she was working just because you didn't want her to be alone. The hours you'd spent worrying when she went on missions because you weren't there to protect her.

How could she doubt you?

“I’ve been second best to Natasha my entire life." Yelena continued, almost oblivious to your stare. Her hand ran through her rough ponytail, her gaze flitting from you to her sister. The redhead sat on the bed, looking disheveled, her eyes staring down at the sheets. Catching her gaze, she hurried out of the room, giving you some privacy

"I don't want you to pretend you chose me instead of her." She said, licking her lips as she backed away from you. The silence in the room prolonged as she waited for you to speak. A part of her was hoping you would argue with her, tell her that you chose her first.

But as your silence continued, she began to doubt herself. She watched your expressions closely, wishing to read your thoughts rather than wait for you to voice them. Your emotions were hidden from her, conflict showing across on your face yet your true intentions even she could not read. She began to leave you to your silence when you took her hand.

"Wait," You whispered, her wrist grasped tightly in your hand. You knew she could break free of your grip and leave if that was what she wanted. But she didn't, she stood there, her back turned to you, waiting for you to fight to stay.

"You aren't second to Natasha," You began, furrowing your brows as you tried to compose your thoughts. "I only came to her because I was scared of losing you."

At your words, Yelena slowly turned around, her emerald eyes raking over your features, trying to spot a lie. You let her search, knowing she would find nothing but the truth. You tugged her closer to you, a faint smile crossing your lips when she let you.

"Lena, falling in love with you was never a choice," You said, reaching for her other hand and pulling her closer. Her eyes met yours, a genuine smile crossing your face when she didn't look away. Your thumbs ran across the skin of her knuckles, feeling the skin under your fingertips.

"Staying with you is a choice I will always make."

Her fingertips trailed up your arms, a smile gracing her lips, her hands coming up to your shoulders before tugging you closer to her. Your arms wrapped around her waist as she buried her face in your neck. Your words had calmed even the greatest of her insecurities. Your touch brought her most golden desires to life.

There was much to talk over, many storms to calm, but for now, you could find salvation at this moment. You knew she forgave you, and would never doubt your love for her again. You never had a reason to doubt her, you never will, not as long as you could feel her care for you.

You could feel it when she breathed in your scent, her lips meeting the base of your neck. Your skin burned under her touch with such a warmth you had never felt before. The feeling new but in no way unwelcome, her touch reassuring your safety and her love. She showed you she loved you with the way her lips danced over yours, the way her hands tugged you closer to her, all because you chose her.

A/N: I know it’s been a while since i updated, but i put loads of effort into this, comments and reblogs are FABULOUS! Please tell me what you think of this

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