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amira3113-deactivated20221001

Anytime

Edmund x Reader

Words: 4K

Warnings: none

Sleep did not find me tonight again. It hadn’t for days. Every time I barely closed my eyes, all I saw was him, how life exited his body. I could not risk that. If his condition worsened, I promised myself I’d be fully awake, ready to help him get through it. A wave of influenza hit Narnia weeks ago. Many subjects had caught it, a great part of them died, despite the kingdom’s healers, one of which was I, best efforts of curing them. Next I knew, my very husband got infected, lying almost dead in our shared bed. It ate me up, seeing him suffer like that. Lucy was out of reach, taking a break, sailing the seas with Peter long before the virus got the chance to spread. She would be back soon but I feared that maybe she’d come too late.

After hours of trying to convince Susan to get some rest, she finally left our chambers. It wasn’t that she was bothering me with her presence, by all means no, but she needed the sleep. For days she looked out for her brother while managing Narnia all by herself. I feared that if she overworked herself, she’d get weak and fall ill too. That was the last thing I needed.

Letting my fingertips trail all the way from his hairline to his chin, I couldn’t help but admire his beauty. Even when ill, he looked his absolute best. How he was able to maintain his youthful and energetic aura at this time was beyond my knowledge. Well, many matters of the man were beyond me as we were only recently married. Arranged marriages were never my concern. But so weren’t fairytales kingdoms before Aslan had guided me from the world of Adam to Narnia.

Now six years later, I find myself married to a man I learned to love, knowing he’d never return the feeling. Yet, it would never prevent me from taking care of him. My heart didn’t know any different.

His did. His always would, I feared. Nonetheless I grew to accept it.

After all, it had not been our choice to get wedded.

A sweat drop rolled down his forehead, tangling itself in his brow. Taking the cloth on my bed stand in my hand, I dabbed the excess fluid away from his face. He had been tossing and turning all night, temperature rising and falling, mumbling nonsense while squinting. After gently stroking my fingers against his forehead, my panic grew massively. I got as fast as I could out of bed tearing my door open.

“Angus, get me Brianna now!”

“Milady, should I alert Queen Susan?” Asked your other guard as his partner was out of sight.

“NO! By all means, don’t do that. Let her rest. I can manage with Brianna’s help.” I intended on sounding stern, but the situation we were in wasn’t what you would call children’s game. The vulnerable state I was in made the guard and training partner of the ill king quite uncomfortable. He didn’t know if he should hurry to Queen Susan or rely on me. But he stayed faithful like he had sworn to do so.

Turning back to look at my shivering husband, an idea swept into my mind.

“Rupert, go fetch us lukewarm water for a bath, please.”

“Yes, milady.”

My hands ran hesitantly along the buttons of Edmund’s nightshirt before gently starting to undo them. When I imagined myself undress him, it was never under such circumstances. Moments like these never turned out as I would picture them. Perhaps, I just dreamed too much. Before I reached the last button, a hand gripped mine. My eyes snapped to the supposedly sleeping King.

“Who are you?” His raw voice made chills run down my spine. His eyes were still closed. He must be too weak to open them. I have to admit, that if it weren’t for the circumstances, I would’ve found myself drawn to that hoarse voice of his, but now all that clouded my mind was concern. Concern for his wellbeing.

“It’s alright. It’s just me.” Reassuringly I laid my free hand on the side of his face, stroking his cheek. His body tensed at first touch but then relaxed at my actions. Intimacy had never been common amongst us. The closest we ever got, would be whilst sleeping. He would always deny my touch when in the right mind. It indeed hurt me when we were freshly wed but after a time, I got used to it. He just didn’t feel the same, so why pry? If he needed his space, I would give it to him. What good would throwing myself at him do? But now was different. He needed my touch, as much as he tried to deny it. His soul needed the comfort, the warmth of another person, the assurance of being by his side.

“What,” he breathed, “What are you doing?” his eyes poorly opened, instantly searching for my eyes. As his dark brown orbs found my own, my heart stopped. They exposed all of his secrets, all of his emotions for a split second. I had never seen him that fragile before. This was certainly not the right moment for me to tear up, but what my husband showed, I never imagined seeing in my life. I never knew that side of him existed, left alone him confiding in me with it. oh, how much I longed to tear the pain off his chest.

“Edmund, you are burning up. We have to lay you in water to cool your fever.” I calmly spoke, hoping that my voice wouldn’t deceive me, giving the enormous sorrow and fear I was in. Reasoning with him was not always easy but in his condition, he could, no doubt, not argue with me.

Inhaling a few times, he finally let go of my hand and gestured me to continue.

My fingers continued the work, unbuttoning the last piece. I hesitated before I finally collected the courage to slide the shirt off his shoulders. My breath got caught in my throat. It was only on rare occasions I saw him not entirely clothed. And even these moments were cut short by him every time. That little second did not give me the time to take a proper look at his physique. Nor was it an appropriate time to do so, but I couldn’t help myself. I had never noticed the little scar right above his hip. Or the one just below his heart. I wondered if he would’ve ever told me about them or if I would just simply die not knowing.

“Don’t worry. They do not hurt anymore. They only serve as constant reminders. That’s all.”

My sudden quiet behavior must have given my observation away. Remaining silent, I stood up from the bed and went to fetch a robe. The next step might be difficult for me. Clearing my throat, I tried to sound not too shy but my voice betrayed me.

“We require to take off your- your trousers too.”

Then something happened, I never in a million years would’ve thought I’d get to witness. A surprising small smile stretched his face.

“Go ahead.” He lazily mumbled.

The change of his mood left me wondering what was going on in his head. He usually liked his privacy. Then why was he so amused at the time? Oh well, he was ill, how is he supposed to argue?

There was no time for propriety nor embarrassment. Gently I pulled his thin trousers off him. As soon as the fabric hit the floor, I swiftly covered him with a light robe and I waited for the guards to come back.

With my arm around his waist, I guided him to the giant container disposed in the middle of the room. Brianna was stirring some herbs in the water. When the guards had seen me supporting the high king out of bed, they jumped to take him off my arms, but as much I wanted the weight off me, I couldn’t. I didn’t know why. but I just couldn’t let go of him. Something in me told me not to, saying that he would be gone forever if I let go. So, I only gripped him tighter.

Just as I reached the tub, I realized the next steps might be a bit difficult for me.

“Angus, Rupert, Brianna, you are free to go. thank you for your help.” I weakly smiled over my shoulder. They knew better than to debate, because after all, some may consider my even more stubborn than the king himself.

When I tore my gaze away from the staff, I was immediately met with Edmund’s weary eyes.

His expression matched the one a German would do when a French would try to talk to them in English.

“You are going to have to lay in the water for a few minutes. is that alright?”

He only nodded but I knew as soon as he only dipped a toe in there, it will be a struggle to get him fully in. And that happened. He immediately backed off. With the force he used to push himself away, he almost sent us both tumbling on the ground.

Before he could escape me, I circled my arms around his, hugging him tightly.

“Edmund, please.” I pleaded, exhausted. As soon as my words reached his ears, he stopped struggling out of my embrace.

Everything in the room went silent, all that could be heard was our heavy breathing.

I lowered my arms to his waist, down his muscular upper body. They twitched when my bare hands met his barely exposed skin for a split second. His eyes immediately darted up to mine. What was that on his face? Fear? Discomfort? maybe I went too far? Maybe he wasn’t in need of my mortal support that much? Just as I was about to pull away, he laid his chin on top of my head, aggravatedly exhaling. My knees almost went weak like jelly. What was he doing? Since when did he get that touchy?

“It’s so cold,” he mumbled against my hair.

“I know, I know. But it will help.” I squealed, struggling to calm my rapidly beating heart.

Eventually, after five minutes, he gave up trying to change my mind. He laid his hand into the water-filled barrel and instantly turned to look at me with a pounding expression.

involuntarily, the corners of my lips curved at his attempts. Then it came to me.

“Would it make you feel better if I joined you?” if I hadn’t been so uncertain of his reaction, I could’ve sounded very sure of myself but my tone was almost not to be heard. The heat rushed to my face as I spoke. All of a sudden, the cool air that had been in the room quickly heated up. Or was my body doing this?

“Yes.” the answer was just as faint as the question.

It took me some moments to progress what had just occurred. Did he really just agree with that suggestion? it wasn’t that I wasn’t familiar with him and his physique, but what he had just agreed to was beyond the intimacy I had ever thought I’d reach with that man.

“Alright then.” I mentally thanked god for the dim lighting. My face was burning red as I stripped down to my undergarments. Maybe it wasn’t totally necessary that I did so because somehow, I hoped, it would make him forget about his illness for a minute. I hoped he’d get distracted by my actions, making it easier for me to get him in. It seemingly worked.

His sorrowful eyes had trailed after my hands as I undid every button of my nightshirt. With his mouth slightly apart, he just watched. And I liked the feeling he gave me. I liked the way his breathing got heavier at every undone button. I liked the way his eyes would shoot up to my face the closer I got to the end. I liked the way the tiredness perished away from his face as the piece of cloth hit the ground.

And there it was, the bubble of confidence, the bubble of hope I had always searched for. Maybe he did like me after all. Maybe he did like me more like a lover than a friend. Maybe he liked me the way I liked him.

With him sitting on the edge of the barrel, I slowly dipped into the water, taking both his hands in mine as I fully stood in the water. Somehow the world seemed to stop moving as I pulled him towards me. Without breaking eye contact, he quietly rose from his position, crawling to me, until we were almost standing chest to chest in front of each other, fingers still intertwined.

He instantly closed his eyes shut as his body progressed the sudden cold, but with his jaw saw together, he opened them again. They seemed darker now, as they darted directly into mine.

And for just a fraction of a second, I thought I saw something in them. But what was it? Was he scared? Sad perhaps? What was troubling him?

And that was when he turned away from me, escaping this trance we had been in.

Letting go of me, he pulled his robe off, throwing it across the bathroom and hugged himself while slowly sitting down. The shivers came back and I knew he would be out in a few seconds if I wouldn’t stop him. So, I sat down beside him circling my arms around him, gently stroking his arm while praying that it soothes his actions, making him stop fighting against the cool water. Just as my skin was on his, he snapped to me again, studying my face for a few seconds. He had pulled his mouth to a straight line, making it hard for me to figure out if he was okay with what I was doing. Suddenly I could feel his eyes on my lips and then my prayers were heard and he almost instantly slumbered against my chest as I steadied us in the tub.

There we laid. Minutes went by and again no words were spoken. Yet the loss of their presence wasn’t quite bothering. All that felt essential was each other’s comfort.

His rapidly rising chest caused the water to roll in waves to and away from us. His shivering stopped, all I felt was his slowly fading warmth.

For a split second, I wondered why I was behaving that calm. It scared me how sheltered, how safe I felt with his in my embrace, with his bare skin on mine. The tenderness of his body warmed my worried heart.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.” These two barely heard words hung in the air like the smell of sweet cinnamon at Christmas. They gave me the same feeling I get when eating those freshly baked gingerbread men. I could really get used to this since I never got to hear them from him before. All this time, he never thanked me for anything, and now, now it felt like I was being spoken to by angels.

“Anytime,” I mumbled.

Humming along to the tune of Angus fiddle which he so dearly loved to play in the early mornings, I sorted the books Edmund had left scattered all over the library a few days ago. He didn’t allow the maids and guards into his library, so it was left a mess after he fell ill.

Shortly after he had thanked me, he fell asleep. I carried him, or more like dragged him, back to bed after his fever sank.

When I woke up, he was still fastly asleep. To be honest, I was relieved about it. I was not ready to face him, while being conscious, after what had happened earlier.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

Turning around a bit too fast, I stumbled the stapled books I had lined on the floor.

Peter caught my wrist before I reached the ground. Sending me a warm smile, he bowed to me after letting go. He always did that as a form of teasing me ever since I got lucky to be acquainted with him. From the day I married his brother, he made it his duty to be befriended to me, as a compromise of his brother not much bothering with me. I always found it very sweet of him to put so much effort into making my stay at the palace as comfortable as possible, even though it didn’t change the fact that Edmund didn’t want to having anything to do with me at first. Only as time passed, he finally came to the conclusion that I wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon.

“Welcome back, High King Peter.” I greeted, shooting him the best smile you could muster.

“Why did you not wake me, (Y/N)?” Susan repeated her answer as she placed herself between Peter and me.

“I had everything under control, Susan. Besides you needed your rest.” I said as calm as I could. If I were about to reply in the same tone as she was currently speaking to me with, a big fight could escalate and the palace would be polluted with Susan’s foul mood. I learned that while my stay at here. No one wanted that.

“No. I specifically told you to wake me if something happened, (Y/N)! Why would you be so reckless? What if he-,”

“Susan, clam down.” Peter cut her off, dragging her a few steps away from me.

“Shut your mouth, Peter,” she warned him. Then with growing fury in her eyes, she turned back to me. I had picked up the books in the meanwhile.

This wasn’t the first time Susan didn’t like me trying to lay some weight off her shoulders, so, I was already used to her shouting. She would calm down eventually, I would just have to wait.

“Oh, now miss little knows it all, is uninterested.” she scoffed as I continued to sort the books back into their place. “Let me tell you; this is our palace and our kingdom. You are just-“

“This Kingdom is just as much as hers as it is ours.” Edmund’s voice echoed through the library.

Again, I swung a bit too fast, but I managed to grab ahold of the thick frame of the shelves.

My husband walked towards us while buttoning up his white shirt. I knew for a fact that he just rolled out of bed, nonetheless, he looked as if he had been styled for a few hours. One of the perks of being married to him, he would, without the slightest effort, always look angelic while devilish at the same time.

Snapping myself out of admiring his beauty, especially in the morning, I inspected his state.

He looked healthy, but it was still too soon to say whether he recovered or not.

“You should still be in bed.” I blurted out before he reached us.

He avoided my statement and turned to greet his brother.

‘So, we are back to normal?’

“Oh, how are you, are you feeling alright?” Susan immediately put the back of her hand on his forehead.

A smile stretched on his face as he swatted her hand away.

“I feel splendid, Susan. There is no need to worry.”

His eyes flickered to me and the smile instantly vanished.

“I was in good hands, sister.”

Before Susan could retort, Lucy came rushing in, a big beam plastered on her.

“Breakfast is ready.”

The way she was eyeing Edmund gave me the impression that something happened before he came in. I can already imagine what they had been doing.

She started pulling Peter and Susan out of the study and when I wanted to follow suit, Edmund’s hand gripped my wrist gently.

“Can we talk?” he said avoiding my gaze.

Somehow, I felt it had something to do with our shared bath and I wasn’t ready. At all. but still, I stayed.

“Sure.”

He let go of me as he gestured to the windowsill for us to sit down. It was his favorite stop in the whole palace. If you ever searched for him, this would be the place you would find him sitting at.

He still didn’t dare to look at me, instead focusing on his hands.

“She gave you a drop of her potion, didn’t she?” I smiled trying to break the tension that was filling the room.

Finally, he looked at me, but he didn’t seem to be in a good mood, which made me worry.

“No.” he replied.

“Alright.” now it was my turn to look at my hands. “Did I do something wrong?”

I waited for his answer but instead he only exhaled loudly. After a few seconds, I felt his thumb under my chin. He tilted my head up.

“No, you did nothing wrong.” he arched his head a bit, looking worryingly at me.

“then you are you angry?”

And all of a sudden, he began chuckling. It wasn’t probably not the right moment to think that but it sounded very pleasing; I wouldn’t mind listening to his laughter all day long.

“I am not angry, love.”

Love? He never called me love before. What was happening? What is going on?

“Why do we need to speak then?”

“I um-“he swiftly let go of my face, standing up, “ Firstly, I would like to apologize for Susan’s behavior just now.” he laughed nervously, while burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.

“And I would like to apologize for my behavior. Yesterday. I shouldn’t have done what I did.” all signs of playfulness disappeared.

“Oh.” was all I could manage to get out. So, yesterday was a mistake to him? of course, it was. He was sick. It was naïve of me to think it meant something to him.

“It’s fine, you didn’t do anything wrong.” I gave him a small grin, trying the best to hide my disappointment.

Out of nowhere I suddenly couldn’t breathe, I needed air. but not with him in the room.

“If you’ll excuse me.” I tried to push past him but he again caught my arm before I could escape.

“Wait, please.” he pleaded.

I stopped and turned to him; tears threatened to spill, but I managed to stay strong.

“Yes?” I played a pretense of a good wife, smiling at him fondly while wanting to cry my eyes out. What was I even expecting? Him to love me out of the blue?

“I regret not stopping you to do what you did. And I am deeply sorry, but I have to confess, even though I was not in the right mind, the reason why I actually didn’t stop you was that I have fallen in love with you and I do not know what to do about it. You are a wonderful person and I have only treated you like rubbish ever since we wedded but I shou-“ he blurted out like a waterfall.

“STOP!” I sharply cut him off. He immediately shut his mouth, almost jumping at my burst.

My brain would not comprehend what was just said. He was in love with me? He loved me?

“Come again, please?” I breathed, not believing again.

He looked at his feet, mumbling something to himself before straightening his posture and attempting to say something. I said attempt, because, before he had the chance to do so I closed the gap between us. And at once sparks exploded from everywhere. Every worry I had melted away. All I felt was him. Him and his tender body.

His hand immediately tangled into my hair as the other pulled me closer to him.

My hands were cupping his beautiful soft face, as he devoured my lips in a way, I never imagined he’d do. This man was a maniac. I was married to a maniac and I never knew.

But his lips, oh his lips were just as I had imagined, warm, delicious and most importantly as hungry as I was.

The moment his tongue parted my mouth, I could hear myself moaning into his. His laugh vibrated through my body as I eagerly invited him in.

“Hey, are you- oh.” Without a warning, Peter popped up.

Promptly, I pushed the King away from me, looking horrified, wanting to die in embarrassment.

Edmund himself, hid his face with his hand, as he tried to suppress a big grin.

“No. Don’t let me disturb you.” Peter shot us a wink and rushed off.

With my fingers on my lips, I stared at Edmund.

I just kissed the King. I just kissed him. I-

“I love you.” I blurted out, couldn’t contain myself anymore. He had to know that I longed for this more than he could ever have.

And this time he was the one to capture my lips in his.

“I love you too.”

catchymemes

purpletangyvaginas

grandpaq

If I reblog it does that mean I’m gonna have good dick to give out this summer? 🤔

lickmetilllicecreammmm

Just here for the money part lmao

interminaterogationriteolworshi

Bring me my blessings

n0kiv

I just need the money

bxjuicyink23

Can never have enough of both

blackness-by-your-side

The sign of high quality is the fact the book was banned by the government. Trash literature NEVER EVER had any troubles with the law.

cuntybearjamboree

FARENHEIT 451 IS ON THE BANNED BOOKS LIST??? IT’S LITERALLY ABOUT THE SOCIETAL DANGERS OF BANNING/OUTLAWING/BURNING BOOKS ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

dancing-coyote

That’s the reason it’s on the bloody list.

BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT HOW BANNING AND BURNING BOOKS IS WRONG.

unlimitedgamesbutnogames

HERE’S ALL THE PDF VERSIONS I COULD FIND SINCE WE’RE ALL IN QUARANTINE AND WE CAN’T PHYSICALLY GET THE BOOKS WE DON’T HAVE

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

The Autobiography of Malcolm X

Beloved

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (this was the only free version I could find, and it’s a downloadable thing, so do so with caution)

The Call of the Wild

Catch-22 (it was either this version or one where the entire thing was in comic sans font)

The Catcher in the Rye

Fahrenheit 451

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Gone With the Wind

The Grapes of Wrath

The Great Gatsby

Howl

In Cold Blood

Invisible Man

The Jungle (personally I don’t like this formatting, but the site doesn’t look sketchy so…) - there’s also this which is the proper book format in a pdf, but it’s directly photocopied so it might be hard to read some of the print

Leaves of Grass

Moby Dick

Native Son

Our Bodies, Ourselves (we learned about this one in APUSH!)

The Red Badge of Courage

The Scarlet Letter

COULD NOT FIND Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (the ebook is 47 fucking dollars??? and i can’t even find sketchy websites that’ll let me download a pdf. if anyone manages to find a link, lmk please)

Stranger in a Strange Land

A Streetcar Named Desire

Their Eyes Were Watching God

To Kill a Mockingbird

Uncle Tom’s Cabin

Where the Wild Things Are (this is a slideshow!!!! how fun)

COULD NOT FIND The Words of Cesar Chavez (however I did manage to download the first 71 pages of the book from EBSCO and I put it here but I couldn’t get the rest. sorry y’all)

itisisunbeam

WHY EATING SEASONALLY IS IMPORTANT

•save money - food is at it’s highest supply

•food is better - it is grown closer to home so less likely to rot

•support local, sustainable farmers

•more environmentally friendly

mxmoonwitch

lemon--glow

@minimalistgrufti

minimalistgrufti

oh you’re a blessing omg thank you

jadonsanhco

me: *tries to study*

my mind: toss a coin to your witcher, o valley of plenty

loxxscreens

Hufflepuffs give off so much joy and i love it

shymagnolia

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

shymagnolia

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

illinicoise

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

spn-fandom-breathing-heavily

not even risking that shit

codyslipring-deactivated2015060

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.

isamaegreenleaf

Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol

nnfirnid

man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this

modelinterrupted

I don’t play that shit lol sorry

latenightsugar

WHyyyy

badgyal-k-deactivated20190901

Sorry everyone

just-jay25

If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only