Love or Leave Alone

[lovelymary]

Jackie and Ray’s friendship is so great sometimes. And Jackie really has the best lines 😂

[mon-stax]

Monica Raymund in Hightown 2x1

[thebeyhive]

CONGRATULATIONS, BEY!

‘Beyoncé Bowl’ has won an Emmy Award for ‘Outstanding Costumes for Variety, Nonfiction or Reality Programming’. This is Beyoncé’s first Emmy win. Congrats to everyone who worked on this masterpiece.

[pastperfectcontinuous]

bell hooks mentioned going through a time in her life where she was severely depressed and suicidal and how the only way she got through it was through changing her environment: She surrounded her home with buddhas of all colors, Audre Lorde’s A Litany for Survival facing her as she wakes up, and filling the space she saw everyday with reinforcing objects and meaningful books. She asks herself each day, “What are you going to do today to resist domination?” I also really liked it when she said that in order to move from pain to power, it is crucial to engage in “an active rewriting of our lives.”

[ritavonbees]

I have come to think of the suicidal impulse as the brain waving a flag to say three things:

something needs to change here

this is urgent

I don’t know how to do it

death is the ultimate metaphor for drastic change. it’s a general specific. whatever your problems are, it is very likely that dead people don’t have to deal with them. a real solution to your problems may demand a very narrow range of action that’s likely to be out of reach at this moment, but death is sold on every street corner, so it feels like a more realistic fantasy than happiness.

you don’t really want to die per se but it’s also not completely random chemicals swamping your brain for no reason. you want the pain to stop, you want to be somewhere else, you want to be someone else. it’s urgent. you don’t know how to do it. the end is not the end but a means that feels within your reach right now.

this is the wisdom of bell hooks: daily rituals of meaning and resistance and solidarity are part of slowly building a future where you can make the change you really need. and only alive people can do that. every step you take towards change and power is another step away from death.

[clatterbane]

A very similar approach is also the main focus of Kate Bornstein’s Hello, Cruel World. Besides the free “lite” version she put out (linked there), the whole book is available to borrow on archive.org.

[Fixed an autocorrect error!]

[canadianwheatpirates]

I just checked out the lite edition of Hello, Cruel World and as usual Kate Bornstein nails it. From page 4:

THE MASTER’S TOOLS WILL NEVER DISMANTLE THE MASTER ’S HOUSE. – Audre Lorde So what tools can you use? What do you do when you’re living in the master’s house and it’s making life miserable for you and others? Most outsiders and outcasts have been on the receiving end of a bully’s anger, so we are often loathe to use a bully’s methods. But after a while—and usually under a great deal of pressure—some of us embrace those tools and turn them on our oppressors. I know a lot of people swear by that, but I’m trying my best not to use the following tools:

force

power over

shame

fear

hate

either/or

the end justifies

the means

intimidation

eye-for-an-eye

threats

humiliation

blame

name-calling

segregation

capitalism

divide and

conquer

theft

greed

When you don’t use the master’s tools, other tools become available to you: the “wrong” tools for the job. These aren’t startling new tools. Most of them have been in use for aeons. It’s just embarrassing to admit to using some of them. They’re the tools the bullies have tossed aside as forbidden or unworkable because they’re too scared to use them—and they’re even more afraid that you will.

magic

love

sex

joy

patience

fairness

consensus

illogic

compromise

culture-jamming

compassion

humor

comedy

paradox

non-violence

seduction

riddles

art

visualization

affirmations

[tay-swifts]

˗ˏˋ JENNA ORTEGA Answers the Web’s Most Searched Questions — WIRED (November 16, 2022)

[prettynpaid]

[86jodeci]

[tvqs]

[likeafantasy]

[darlinpng]

Carrie Heffernan appreciaton post

[andyouwilldeal]

[desicinema]

Kajol in Honthon Pe Bas Yeh Dillagi (1994)

[desicinema]

Kajol as Sapna YEH DILLAGI (1994)

[desicinema]

KAJOL + hair flips

[antoniosbanderas]

Pretty Woman (1990), dir. Garry Marshall

[pastelparrotlet]

Try stuff. Put plants in your room even if you aren’t the best at caring for them. Attempt that dessert recipe even if it turns out ugly. Listen to that music you’ve been meaning to try for a while. The world is full of infinite sources of goodness and the best thing to do it to try and find as many as possible.

[yejisana]

“Sis is back ❤️” — (x)