I have been in a long distance relationship (LDR) for a little over two years now and up until about a week ago, I had never met my boyfriend, Shane, in real life. I live in Hawai`i and he lives on the other side of the country, all the way up in New York. We met each other through an online gaming site called OMGPOP, formally known as iminlikeiwthyou. While I was in high school, I didn’t have much of an outside social life and so I actually made some very close friends from the chatrooms. In a sense, I was sort of part of a circle of friends. This group would have tinychat session, big Skype group calls, and we would all sort of meet up with each other in real life some how. Shane and I were a part of this group, but we had never really talked. I swear that I would try to say hi to him in chats and he would ignore me. If you ask him, he’ll say he just didn’t see and he thought I was too pretty to be talking to him anyways. Mmmmmhmmmmmmm. Anywho, I remember it was a few nights after Christmas 2012 and we were both in the same Skype group call with a bunch of other people. We were all bored, so we figured we would all get on Omegle, type in the same topic, and find each other. Then came the awkward moment when Shane and I found each other. It’s kind of hard to remember exactly how it went, but I do remember sort of calling him out on how he would ignore me. He completely denied it of course and we just talked. I remember there was this Pocahontas twerk meme and I had asked him to twerk for me. He did some sort of moving around and I took a screen shot, which till this day I still have as proof. That night we ended up leaving everyone on Skype and stayed up talking to each other till the sun started coming up for me. That means that sun had already been up for a good while for him. He became one of my closest friends and we talked everyday, all day, till more feelings started to develop. We got to a point where we had to spend a few days discussing whether or not we wanted to take things further. There were so many what ifs and questions about how we would make it work, but ultimately it came down to us deciding to take things one day at a time. It was pointless to try to predict our future and base our decision off of that. Shoot, when we first started talking, I told him not to fall in love with me (because I’m dramatic and I was copying the movies) and he said “to be honest, no offense, but I don’t think I’d ever like you like that”.. SOOOOOOO, predicting the future isn’t his thing.
During the span of our relationship so far, we both have had moments where we questioned our relationship, but at different times. We questioned whether or not to “quit while we’re ahead”. I had kept our relationship on the down low from my family since I really didn’t think they would understand, so at the time it felt impossible to even meet. If he was fly to Hawai`i, I didn’t know how I was going to make the most of his time here, if I wasn’t going to be able to introduce him to my family. Then on the other hand, it seemed impossible for me to try to fly all the way to New York with my family’s blessings. It was rough. Through it all, we stuck together and continued to work on our relationship.
This January I finally came clean about my relationship with my older sister, who is pretty much my Mom. It really wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and she seemed to understand and accept my relationship. It really felt like a huge weight off my shoulders, no more hiding, I could unblock her from Facebook, it was great and I just knew that this year was going to be a good year. It was almost a chain reaction once I was out about my relationship. I work with a Filipino non-profit organization that I have been a part of since I was in high school and the board members had submitted a proposal to a conference to present about our organization. I was so honored when they had asked me if I would join them in presenting and where was this conference located….. NEW YORK!! Of course I said yes!! I wasn’t sure about how I was going to afford it all, with being a broke college student and all, but my support system is so strong and so many people helped me out. It was amazing.
Before I left for New York, everyone was asking me if I was nervous and my response was no. Being in a long distance relationship is challenging and it forces you to work on those communication skills and you really get to know a person in a way that is just different from the average in person relationship. I just knew that Shane was as genuine as I was. We are so comfortable with one another that I had no doubts that we wouldn’t just click.
I landed in New York and Shane tried to act as if he had woken up late and was running late… I told him I knew he wasn’t stupid, so he needed to quit playing. As I waiting for my luggage, I was scanning the area so cautiosly and I spotted him before he spotted me. My head snapped back so quick and my eyes got so big, I thought I was an owl. I was frozen. He came up behind me and with a huge ass grin on my face, I might’ve said “go away”. HAHAHAHAHA. I didn’t say it in a mean way or anything, I was just so in shock. We embraced each other and I was just staring at him as the bags came down the belt. Anytime he would catch me and look at me, I’d be like “Don’t look at me!” and he’d reply with “Whaaaaaat??” grinning. I just couldn’t believe that he was really right in front of me, no screen, just him, his face.
The six days I spent with Shane were so surreal. The connection was there and it was strong. I felt like I had been in New York with him the whole time, it all felt so normal, so right, so comfortable. I met his Mom and his sisters, we awkwardly ran into his Dad, and it appears everyone really likes me so yay. All the things that other couples rarely think twice about, I got to finally experience. I could hold him, be held, bite him randomly when he actin up, gaze at him without him realizing, and just be in his presence. He attended the conference with me, got to see me present, ate at a bunch of places, went to see Lion King, I rode my first subway, got pizza at 3 in the morning, ugh. I really didn’t even get much sleep the whole trip, I was way too excited to go to sleep and too excited to stay asleep. One of my most favorite moments would have to be when we were in our hotel room and we got into a tickling war. I can’t even remember the last time I was ever tickled like that and I can’t remember the last time I laughed the way that I did. I was laughing so hard, my laugh made him laugh.
When we had to say our “see you later” at the airport, it was so hard. I felt as if I had blinked and the whole week just vanished. Being back home now is so bittersweet. I missed my nieces, but I’m so ready to hop on a plane and leave because my heart is in two places. It was hard before when Shane and I hadn’t met in person. All I could do was imagine, try to visualize the way things would be. Now it’s still hard and it feels harder because I know exactly what it is that I’m missing. I went from longing for something that I never had before to craving more of something that is no longer in my reach. On the bright side, us finally meeting has also made our relationship real to everyone outside of it. Our families know, our friends know, it’s no secret. The possibility of us seeing each other again is exists and *crossing fingers* will be soon. Any doubts we may have once had, are now gone. We can now plan for the future, our future.
To anyone else out there in a long distance relationship, maybe even a long distance friendship that might turn into something more.. just remember to take it day by day. The love is so worth it. There is hope.
Stay Strong. Stay Positive. Stay Beautiful.
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